"Welcome back...."
At this very moment I can honestly say that I am good, not fabulous or amazing but all the same good...And not because of anything happening or anyone doing anything...i'm happy because of myself... Something has changed within me, something is not the same...Past events just seemed to fall into place and I'm back to the person I was and it all happened in the past three weeks... I had to crash and fall hard, I had to do things that weren't me, I had to re-evaluate some of my relationships, hear things I wasnt suppose to hear, and decide what it was I wanted from life...
Sometimes I think we all want to know what the secret to life is...I dont think that I'll ever know what taht is but I do know that I realized something that has changed me...: We all have more power and control of our own happiness than we are aware of, all we need to do is be consious of that inner strength and power... I feel like a new person, like all this garbage I was holding on to is gone...I'm worth soo much more than that...
DZ has been my saving grace thus far...after making the decsion to refocus on myself, my sisters have just happen to come to my rescue through just being themseleves...Working on recruitment and working with the girls everynight has been this saving grace where I feel so energized...And on op of that they are forcing me to sing again...everyone always says they will help you along your way, for me help me to sing but DZ... they actually did they inspired me and have pushed me...I cant even imagine what I would do without them...
In this new independece I have found myself ... if others cant focus on you there is no reason you shouldnt...I went to Urth Cafe and then I got to meet Dave and Pablo and....then there's the composite boys... if you cant fufill your selfworth in your enviorment you need to make a change...for yourself...It makes a world of difference...Writing has been soo much fun this week aswell...I forgot that part of me, I'm defineetly going to keep motivating myself, I mean no one else will...i'm so proud of the 3 submissions I made, i cant wait to see what happens...
Todat was world AIDS day...I emailed Todd and Sean's mom as well...Ky, Cat, and I all went and saw the AIDS monologues and plays tonight...they were amazing...It felt good to be in that room with all of those people...today was one of those days where I realized things happen for a reason, we might not alwasy understand but in the end we'll see...
As for the rest of the say it was the little moments: writing all day, iggy's w/ friends, coffee with pablo, baking cookies, giving cookies, sullivan sweethearts party, car ride with E, text messages, drunk dials, rootbeer floats, ice cream...knowing Im beyond the things that hold me back and dont push me up....life is good if you take it for what it is...