Mission T04: Doing the Impossible
Doctor Who fandom was heart broken after RTD dumped Rose in a parallel universe and sealed the void that connected the two universes. So, fans wrote lots of stories either ignoring the events of Doomsay or finding a work around to break through the seal. Most work arounds are deus ex machina affairs, because that's usually the only way something said to be impossible can be done.
A/N: Protectors of the Plot Continuum was founded by Jay and Acacia. Excerpts taken from Doing the Impossible by narnia365. This mission was chronicled by IndeMaat
-oOo-
Emma didn't look up from her book when Tasmin walked in and announced they had a new mission. She turned a page and replied lazily: "This must be a really good book. I've been so wrapped up in it I didn't even hear the console."
"Console didn't beep. I ran into Karma in the hall way."
"Karma from Doctor Who division?"
"Yeah, they're kind of busy there. She asked if we could take a mission off their hands."
"To which you said no. We have our own fandom to worry about."
"Of course I did." Tasmin started pushing buttons on the console.
Emma closed her book and swung her legs of the sofa. "Something tells me your no wasn't very convincing."
"She said there was Martha bashing," Tasmin mumbled.
"There was Matmashing?"
"Martha bashing. An Mickey." Tasmin turned to Emma. "Disguises?"
Emma raised her hands in mock frustration. "The Abzorbaloff?" She got up.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "Why do I even ask these things?" She hit a button and a portal opened.
-oOo-
Emma flipped open her visor. "The aliens of the planet Zovirax? You really need to get more creative on the disguises you pick out."
"They are called Slabs, and that's why I ask you for suggestions, but you insist on coming up with impractical suggestions."
"Whatever. Where are we?"
"In the TARDIS. The Doctor, or rather his imposter, is over there and Rose is over there, sobbing." Tasmin pointed respectively to her left and to her right.
The Doctor walked past the agents without taking notice.
"Why does his length keep varying between 6'1 and 5'3?"
"Because someone regularly forgot to capitalize his name properly."
Emma and Tasmin followed the Doctor to Rose's room. Cautious that he might see them they made sure to keep there distance.
"Do you think it was because he had no head that that he walked past us without noticing? I mean. An Imposter!Doctor can see through the SEP field, can't he?"
"I guess he had other things on his mind. Like Rose sobbing."
Rose said she was crying because she had been afraid she had lost the Doctor when he didn't come out of the drawing with the others. The Doctor tried to console her.
“I know, but I will never ever leave you.” The Doctor pulled Rose in to one of his famous hugs.
"Which is a direct contradiction of what the Doctor really said at the end of Fear her: Never say never ever."
"Lots of Doctor-Rose shippers want the Doctor and Rose to stay together forever."
"Yeah, but no one would seriously believe that the Doctor, young and viral as he is, would stay with Rose when she got so old that even going to the toilet would be a journey for her."
"There are those that believe that."
"Mainly those that have never realized that humans age. And Time Lords not as much."
"Can we go back to the fic at hand?"
The Doctor had begun kissing Rose and picked her up to put her on the bed.
"Did we miss something?" Tasmin asked.
"I don't think so." Emma scanned the Words. "The Doctor says he will never leave Rose and then he jumps her bones. You'd think that a 900plus year old alien would be able to come up with a better pick up line."
"I would have thought the Doctor would not try to sex up Rose immediately at the first kiss."
"Or at least would set some time aside for foreplay. Although, canonically he hasn't had sex in the past forty years. He may have forgotten a few of the basics."
"Oh dear, this is awful." Tasmin closed her visor and turned her back on the scene of the Doctor undressing Rose.
Emma continued to watch. "It's bad smut. Cliched smut. First he fondles her breasts and then his hand goes down her pants."
"You don't have to give me the play by play," Tasmin growled.
"It's porn movie sex. In less than two minutes he moves from kissing her tears away to taking some part of her in his mouth. And I'm not being vague to spare your feelings."
"Thanks."
"This fic is being vague on what it is the Doctor is doing."
"Well, FFnet doesn't allow graphic sex."
"Sure. I think it's because the Doctor has so little sexual experience that he doesn't even know what he is supposed to do. Actually, we don't even know if humans and Time Lords are anatomically compatible."
"Time Lords seem to prefer human anatomy for their incarnations."
"Except for the two hearts."
"Perhaps he got the second heart in stead of something else."
Emma laughed about that comment, but stopped suddenly when the Doctor said fuck. "That's not funny."
"This is not a humor fic."
Emma pulled a notepad and a pen from her shoulder bag. "You said something about an Imposter!Doctor. Do you supposed this could be Casanova?"
"The Tennant Casanova you mean?"
"Yeah. Obviously."
"Possibly. He's going to father a daughter with Rose. Now, if he tries to sex up that girl too we'll know for certain."
"Right. Never heard of a Sue that had sex with her own dad."
In the mean time Rose had moved on top of the Doctor. They had their orgasms at more or less the same time and then collapsed together.
"It's over." Emma touched Tasmin's arm as Rose and the Doctor cuddled up.
“You surprised me.” Rose said
“I surprised myself; I haven’t had sex in quite a while.” The Doctor laughed a little he kissed Rose’s cheek, and whispered in her ear “You can call me Theta.” Soon they fell asleep still in each others arms.
"Theta?" Tasmin had glanced the Words to make sure Emma wasn't lying to her. "That's his nickname from the Academy. What kind of man wants his lover to call him by a name his college buddies call him?"
"Well, it of course works a lot better if your college buddies don't call you Stinker, or Spud, or Dave Hedgehog."
"Dave Hedgehog?"
"Give him a hedgehog and he'll show you."
Tasmin briefly glared at her Emma. "Let's go back to the console room."
-oOo-
Before they walked into the console room the agents experienced a brief shift of time. In the console room they found the Imposter!Doctor was burning up a star to say goodbye to Rose.
“There’s five of us now; Mom, Dad, Mickey, me and the baby.” Rose looked down at the sandy ground
“Your not?”
“Yeah, a little girl.”
"It's a girl," Emma cheered. "And she can't punctuated."
"That was to be expected. We wouldn't be here if there wasn't a Sue."
"Doctor Who suffers badly from Sue-ified canon, not to mention canon!Sue."
"The latter is none of our business."
“Rose I will find away.” The Doctor disappeared.
"Forget that I just told you 30 seconds ago that this is the last tear between the universes that is sealing up."
"This is Imposter!Doctor," Emma boasted. "He can do what is impossible for the real Doctor." Emma raised her arms to show off her biceps then put her fists on her hips and puffed her chest. "He can go where no man has gone before. He is just the womanizer Kirk is, though strictly monogamous, and he doesn't need a guy with pointy ears telling him things aren't logical."
"He could use one, though." Tasmin chuckled.
"Doesn't he now."
The floor of the TARDIS started to shake and the two agents were thrown to the floor. When they scrambled to their feet they saw Martha and the Doctor do the same.
The Doctor and Martha checked all the controls to make sure everything was all right, and when to see where they landed.
"This display says we should check back in an hour." Emma turned the screen to Tasmin.
Tasmin smiled in reply. Her smile quickly dropped when she saw a black spot on the TARDIS' wall that was rapidly increasing in size.
"What's that?" Emma asked, her attention also drawn to the black stain. "Is that a black hole? It looks like it is absorbing this fic."
"I think it's a plot hole, but I've never seen one quite like this."
"It's sucking us in too." Emma braced herself on the console. The force of the black hole, however, was too strong and both agents were pulled in.
-oOo-
They landed with a thud on a beach. Emma got up and patted the dirt of her. She looked around. "Bad Wolf Bay?"
"None other. But some six years into Rose's future. And speak of the devil." Tasmin had also gotten up and pointed at a woman and a girl. "There she is."
"What's wrong with the TARDIS?" Emma nodded towards the TARDIS that was flickering in and out of existence.
"It seems the Doctor decided to go exploring, which usually means leaving the TARDIS. According to the Words the Doctor is listening in on the conversation Rose is having with her daughter, but it's unclear whether he does that by standing within hearing range of her, or by using the TARDIS' long range microphone."
"The TARDIS has a long range microphone?"
"If the TARDIS needs a gadget, the TARDIS has that gadget."
"Deus ex Machina."
"No, Intelligent Design."
That made both agents burst out laughing.
Rose tells her daughter about the Doctor and then the little girl runs into him. Imposter!Doctor gives both of them a hug and leaves with them to meet Jackie.
As they walked off the Doctor completely forgot about Martha.
"It seems Martha has stayed behind in the TARDIS."
"Yeah, 'cause if she'd gone out with him she would have said something."
"Oh there. He's running back to the TARDIS to fetch Martha."
“Yes Doctor.” Martha stepped out of the TARDIS.
"Uh, does Martha seem a little docile to you too?" Emma asked.
"Docile? She actually looks like a Cocker Spaniel."
Martha wagged her tail as she offered her paw to Rose. Rose shook it and then the entire party went to Jackie, who apparently owned a beach house on a Norwegian beach.
Jackie was actually happy to see the Doctor. Which she showed by trying to hug him to death.
"In character yes or no?" Emma fetched the CAD from her shoulder bag. She pointed it at Jackie. "Only 28.3 percent out of character. That's actually pretty good."
"What about the others?"
"Well, you were right about the Doctor; he is an imposter. The CAD can't determine Rose yet because of 'insufficient parameters'. And Martha is a dog. I've just had my CAD serviced. I'm not taking measurements of her."
Jackie let The Doctor go.
Rose, the doctor and Amelia walked into the living room where Martha still sat.
"I wouldn't subject my CAD to that either."
The agents hung around in the doorway as the family all sat down in the living room and talked about their lives.
“Well, I work for Torchwood now. Special Director for Torchwood three in Cardiff. Full time Mum to this little terror...” Rose poked Amelia in her side gently. “And living my life. What about you?”
"There's so much wrong with that statement it hurts my brain." Tasmin tried to rub her temples, but was quickly reminded her head was encapsulated in a motor helmet.
"The suggestion that parallel Earth Torchwood has the same structure as Earth Torchwood. Having a job and being a full time Mum; I thought the last term was reserved for women who didn't have jobs." Emma tacked off the list. "Calling her own kid a little terror. Although, in this case Rose is probably just calling them as she sees them."
Imposter!Doctor also gave a short recap of his own adventures.
“So after rescuing Martha, I found Novice Hame again and The Face of Boe. He told me that I was not alone.”
And continued by jumping to conclusions.
“I was meant to find you and now I have, and I’m never letting go ever again.” The Doctor hugged Rose and Amelia.
"It was to be expected that the prophecy would be abused like that."
"What did you think the prophecy meant?" Tasmin asked.
"At first? At first I thought it was about Jack. An immortal and a near-immortal keeping each other company."
Tasmin nodded. "That's at least more reasonable than the the Face of Boe would refer to a half-bread that is in a parallel universe that is impossible to travel to."
"This fic is called Doing the Impossible for a reason."
"And what reason would that be? 'Cause as far as I've seen nothing impossible has actually been done. It has happened, but there was no doing involved, by anyone."
Mickey walked past the two agents into the living room and without saying hello punched the Doctor on the jaw. Emma quickly checked whether she had turned off the CAD she was still holding in her hand. CADs tended to explode on detecting character rupture.
Apparently Mickey had been pining away for Rose while she was pining away for the Doctor.
"Oh, come on!" Tasmin rolled her eyes. "I can understand Rose pining over the Doctor, but Mickey moved on in canon. He realized he had lost Rose and even though he'd like her back he started dating someone else. He would not wait for Rose to get over the Doctor; he would get on with his own life."
"And not punch the Doctor." Emma scribbled a few things on her notepad.
Then Martha had an emotional outburst and ran from the house crying.
"That the Martha bashing Karma was talking about?"
"Yeah. Let's follow her."
Rose had gone ahead of the two agents. By the time Ema and Tasmin got to the TARDIS Rose and Martha were already bonding.
"These are both supposed to be women in their mid-twenties. Not emo fourteen-year-olds. They don't switch from jealousy and emo outbursts to bonding over time travel at the drop of a hat."
"Yes, but who could resist the cute that is a Cocker Spaniel?"
"Not funny."
"I can tell by the face you are making."
Rose put a leash on Martha and they went back to the house where the Doctor was just explaining that it was his off-spring that had pulled the TARDIS through an impenetrable barrier.
“She is the daughter of BAD WOLF and the Oncoming Storm, the TARDIS runs through her veins and she wanted to see her father.”
"Some times I think Suethors just remember the bits of canon that are convenient to them." Tasmin sighed. "The Doctor sucked Bad Wolf out of Rose at the end of Parting of the Ways. Doing so even killed him. Bad Wolf is dead."
"Or at least managed to play dead very convincingly for the whole of second season."
"Trust me. If Bad Wolf was still alive she'd've acted up by the time the Daleks started coming from the Genesis Arc."
"Fair point."
Imposter!Doctor said he would stay with Rose and her daughter if they'd want him to.
“No the TARDIS would die papa.” Amelia jumped into his lap
"As if putting an uncanonical Sue in it doesn't kill it." Tasmin humphed.
Rose decided they would go with the Doctor, at least to bring Martha home.
"That the off-spring can pull the TARDIS to parallel Earth doesn't mean she can return the TARDIS back to its own universe." Tasmin shook her head. "Why is it never just one plot hole, but always a cascade of these things?"
"We wouldn't be here if there was just one hole in the thing."
Jackie made a little objection, gave Rose a hug and then jumped up to pack her a suitcase.
"I need some fresh air."
The agents walked out of the house and sat down on the veranda.
"Now what do we do?" Emma asked while Tasmin hung back and drew in some deep gulps of air.
"Don't know. I guess we first have to find out where the real Martha and Doctor are."
Hello to all my reader:
A disembodied voice boomed and made both agents duck in a reflex.
"Author's note," Tasmin replied to Emma's questioning look.
The voice continued telling that the Doctor is a complicated man.
"Not the way you wrote him," Tasmin grumbled.
Then the voice asked for reader input in what should happen next and if any of the readers would like to become characters in the story.
"We've got to put a stop to this now." Tasmin jumped up.
The two agents ran to the TARDIS as quick as they could.
They found the Doctor and Martha in one of the rooms of the TARDIS, tied back to back on two straight back chairs. Both of them gagged.
"Do we untie them?"
"I have a theory," Tasmin said. "It's the half-bread that brought them here. If we kill her canon should snap back into place."
"And everyone is returned to their proper place? Martha to that alley on New Earth, Rose to what she should have been doing after Fear Her?"
"I don't know about that, but at least the TARDIS and its occupants will be returned to their proper universe, and their bonds will fall of them then." Tasmin jerked her head towards the door. "Let's go back to the house and round up the family."
-oOo-
"How many kills do you suppose it will take to kill the half-bread?" Emma asked as they approached the house and Tasmin checked whether her gun had enough cartridges and screwed on a silencer.
"Just the one. From what I've gathered about canon from the summary we were presented with, regenerations is something that is awarded to Time Lords, not something that is a natural ability of all Gallifreyans."
"That's not what it seems to say in fanfiction."
"Well, you can't trust a badficcer to know canon, can you?" Tasmin held open the front door. "After you."
The whole family was gathered in the living room. Jackie had just finished packing a suitcase for Rose.
"If I may have your attention please." Tasmin pointed her Colt M1911 at the five people and a dog. They all turned their heads to her. Imposter!Doctor jumped up and pointed his sonic screwdriver at her.
"I'll take that, thank you very much." Emma who had walked up behind Imposter!Doctor took the item from his hand. The people in the room all turned their heads to the second leather clad alien.
"What's going on?" Rose asked.
"What are you doing in my house?" Jackie said.
"Amelia Tyler, step forward please," Tasmin said looking at the little Sue.
"No, honey, don't." Rose tried to stop her daughter.
"I'm not afraid, mummy." The little girl stepped into the middle of the sitting area.
"Amelia Tyler, daughter of Rose Tyler and the Doctor," Emma started. "We're Protectors of the Plot Continuum, and we-"
"No, you're not. You're Slabs," Imposter!Doctor said.
"Please, don't interrupt." Tasmin glared at him, but that probably wasn't visible through her visor.
"Amelia Tyler, we're here to charge you with bad spelling, grammar and punctuation. We charge you with making the impossible possible, to wit pulling the TARDIS into the parallel universe, and giving a less than half-baked explanation for how it happened. We charge you with having the Bad Wolf in you, even tough neither of your parents had the Bad Wolf in them at your conception. We charge you with warping the characters of the Doctor, Martha, Mickey and Rose. We charge you with not being the least suspicious when a stranger is introduced as your father, but rather immediately jumping into his open arms. We charge you with knowing how the TARDIS will respond to the Doctor going to stay in one place for what eighty years."
"Not eighty years. Forever!" Imposter!Doctor said.
"Right. So after they both are death you are going to sit by their graves, which, baring accidents, could indeed be forever."
"Well, in British climate he would probably catch his death from pneumonia sooner or later," Tasmin suggested.
"Good point. So this staying with Rose forever would that be a tenth Doctor thing or an all Doctor thing?" Emma addressed the imposter.
"Could you go on with the charging? There's people waiting."
"Oh, yes. Amelia Tyler, we charge you with being a Mary Sue. Your punishment is death."
"What? No, you can't do that," Imposter!Doctor shouted.
The Sue just looked shocked. Tasmin short her through the head. Rose and Jackie screamed and rushed over to the little girl. The lip of the imposter quivered then he charged forward toward Tasmin. Emma pointed the sonic screwdriver at him and pressed a button. The imposter froze.
"Did you kill him?"
"I don't think so. He would start to regenerate if I had, wouldn't he? I guess I just stunned him."
"Well, we'll have to wait until he defrosts before we van charge him."
Emma walked over to a window and looked out over the beach."TARDIS is gone. So so far your theory seems to be correct."
"Rose and Jackie Tyler!"
The Tyler women looked up, their faces tear stained.
"You killed my daughter."
"Yes, you can thank me later. Could the two of you go over there and sit next to Mickey." Tasmin urged them with her gun.
Rose and Jackie sat down on the sofa. Emma pointed the sonic screwdriver at them while Tasmin rummaged through her duffel bag looking for the neuralizer.
"Okay," she said when she finally pulled it from her bag. "Mickey Smith, Rose Tyler and Jackie Tyler. Unfortunately, you were caught up in attempt to write fanfiction that went sour. If you all could just look this way." Tasmin pressed the button of the neuralizer and a red light flashed. "Rose Tyler has no daughter; she works at Torchwood London. Mickey Smith is not pining over Rose. You will all go into the kitchen to have a cup of tea." Tasmin turned off the neuralizer.
The three canons sat on the sofa, shook their heads briefly and blinked their eyes.
"What just happened?" Jackie said.
"I don't know," Rose replied. "But I could murder for a cuppa."
"Then let's get you into the kitchen. I wouldn't want any blood on your hands, or my carpets."
With Mickey in tow the Tyler women left for the kitchen.
"That's taken care off." Tasmin turned. "And you blinked so we can charge you now."
"Doctor, we charge you with impersonating a canon character, with not questioning in the least how you crossed into another universe which is impossible. The real Doctor doesn't like impossible things. Plus you should have at least questioned why your daughter pulled you into the parallel universe at this time in your life rather than in six or seven years time or at the time you said goodbye to Rose, or any time during the time Rose was traveling with you, because that's the you the Sue would have heard about."
Imposter!Doctor blinked a few times with his eyes in rapid succession.
"It's not that hard to process. Just think about it for a bit." Emma consulted her notes. "We further charge you with taking advantage of Rose's emotional state by making her false promises and molesting her. And by asking her to call you by your college nickname. How uncaring is that? Tasmin will kill you now. Multiple times."
Tasmin shot the Doctor through the head. A moment later a bright light emanated form his body and it started to change.
"That hurt," he said when he had regenerated into a slightly shorter, dark haired man.
"It was supposed to," Tasmin said and shot him again.
"I wonder if his next incarnation is going to be Daniel Craig."
"I think you are confusing incarnations of James Bond with incarnations of the Doctor."
"It's an honest mistake: James Bond also keeps getting younger the older he gets."
"Not true. Roger Moore was actually older than Sean Connery when he took over the part."
The twelfth Doctor had the same hair colour was Daniel Craig, except his was slightly curly. Tasmin shot him again.
"Look at that. You're ginger," Emma said to the thirteenth Doctor.
The Doctor grinned and raised his hand to touch his hair.
"Say bye-bye."
After that the Doctor stayed the same.
"Martha Jones." Tasmin turned to the dog. "We charge you with impersonating a canon character, with making her docile like a dog and emo like a fourteen-year-old. Your punishment is death, which is really a form of putting you out of your misery."
"No, Tasmin, you can't. Don't shoot Martha. We can take her with us."
"We're not taking a dog back to headquarters."
"You've got Trent."
"Trent is a PPC employee. He takes care of the A-Team minis."
"And I'm sure he would love to take care of this dog too. Just look at her." Emma grabbed Martha by the head and turned it up to Tasmin. "Just look into these puppy dog eyes and tell me honestly if you can still kill her." Martha and Emma both let out a throttled wail.
Tasmin rolled her eyes. "All right, she can come with us. But if Trent doesn't want her she's going to a vet to put her to sleep."
"Works for me." Emma jumped up and bounded over to the Imposter!Doctor to search his pockets. She threw out a pair of glasses and a tooth brush.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking for the manual of the sonic screwdriver. I want to know what I can do with it." Emma pulled a hand truck from the right front pocket. "Wow, his pockets really are bigger on the inside. I wonder what he needed this for."
"Manual for the sonic screwdriver? You can't just take technology from canon."
"You can if the technology is owned by a Sue or imposter. That means it's redundant in the continuum and it's actually our job to take it. Haha, found it."
"The manual?"
"No." Emma scrambled to her feet. "Something better. Psychic paper. The psychic paper will show me what I want to know every time I'm curious about what a certain button will do." With a big grin she stuffed the psychic paper in her shoulder bag along with the sonic screwdriver.
Tasmin picked up the glasses and toothbrush. "We better be getting back to headquarters."
The two agents propped Imposter!Doctor and the Sue on the hand truck. Tasmin opened up a portal and took Martha by her leash. Emma wheeled the hand truck through the portal and took it to the incinerator.
Tasmin looked down at Martha. "How would you like to meet Trent?" Martha wagged her tail in reply. "Yeah, I thought you would like. You're such a flirt."
-oOo-
A/N: I'm not a Doctor-Rose shipper, but is it that hard to ship them without blatantly ignoring canon? Not ignoring canon will actually add a lot more drama to the story than was available here. The Doctor ignored Rose's comments in Fear Her about the two of them staying together forever. Try to figure out why that was, and why it will take a little more than Rose's tears to make him change his mind. There's angst in the man's past, loads of it, work with that.
Also, in any relationship that is worth having, people don't jump each other's bones when consoling one and other.