Amazed and Saddened
I simply cannot believe this day. For the last .. hell, I don't even know how many hours, I have sat here crying my eyes out over an RP online game. I was given a character to play in this game a little over a year ago. I struggled with this character, I lived him, I felt his pain, I cherished his victories. He's gone now. The person in charge of the game told me that because I was playing in another game that she does not like, with another person that she does not like, that I am somehow untrustworthy in her eyes.
Keep in mind that this was a person who I called friend.
Also keep in mind that it was always known that I played in this other place first, before I ever was handed this character.
I am so sad. I know, it sounds silly to those of you perhaps not involved in the RP world. But my Gabriel was to be a father. He was married, if secretly, to the woman that he loved. He had a life that was finally shaping up to be everything that he had ever hoped and dreamed that life could be. He was finally... happy. After a lifetime of being miserable, my Gabriel was so happy. And now he is gone. Just like that, in the blink of an eye and the uttering of uncaring words, gone.
I have email in my box from that screen name. Just looking at it makes me cry more. Hearing the song that was on his webpage. Seeing the character pictures that I used for him. Thinking about all that was, all that could have been.
I guess they will have someone else play him now. The thought of that tears me apart inside, even moreso than I am torn apart now.
Have I changed since I started to play him? No. I was always playing in this other place. Everyone knew that. They were fine with that. Even when a rift developed between the two places, I was told on both sides that I would not have to choose. Then came today. I was told that I needed to choose, because my loyalties were divided. I was no longer trustworthy. (I was trustworthy last week, so what happened, I ask?)
Anyway...
Today sucks.
Keep in mind that this was a person who I called friend.
Also keep in mind that it was always known that I played in this other place first, before I ever was handed this character.
I am so sad. I know, it sounds silly to those of you perhaps not involved in the RP world. But my Gabriel was to be a father. He was married, if secretly, to the woman that he loved. He had a life that was finally shaping up to be everything that he had ever hoped and dreamed that life could be. He was finally... happy. After a lifetime of being miserable, my Gabriel was so happy. And now he is gone. Just like that, in the blink of an eye and the uttering of uncaring words, gone.
I have email in my box from that screen name. Just looking at it makes me cry more. Hearing the song that was on his webpage. Seeing the character pictures that I used for him. Thinking about all that was, all that could have been.
I guess they will have someone else play him now. The thought of that tears me apart inside, even moreso than I am torn apart now.
Have I changed since I started to play him? No. I was always playing in this other place. Everyone knew that. They were fine with that. Even when a rift developed between the two places, I was told on both sides that I would not have to choose. Then came today. I was told that I needed to choose, because my loyalties were divided. I was no longer trustworthy. (I was trustworthy last week, so what happened, I ask?)
Anyway...
Today sucks.