The invisible return
as i look back and read the past entry's from some time ago, i have the strong need to delete so many of them, lots of them~ though instead although the thought makes me cringe, i remind myself that i did indeed feel the way i did on those particular pages.. and by deleting, i would not be forgetting nor erasing, just clicking. i will allow the disgust to rest among those entrys for the poisonous influence is not longer around, and that there- makes me smile, sigh and type once again.
standing tall, looking at others, associating with the realm that ive never understood- adhering to the countless nights of sorrow and wine, i hold her and tell her the truth. -time does indeed, heal everything. i wipe her eyes, and pour her a refill.. and look at her with my sympathetic glance, wishing that i could heal her pain, for i love her too much to see her ache. time.
no longer do i enter that space with distraction and a fast heartbeat. no longer do i enhance my minds expectation and allow my heart to flutter at the thought of ones presence. no longer do i look forward to working in that hole, where the noise has transited from loud to silent, and the time has evaporated into the thin air and now remain at a mellow neutral. no longer do i look at her and smile for her capability of being cute is in the surface, though her insides reek of ugly satisfaction. perhaps, i am incorrect- for i have thought others out to be someone great, and they resulted in being the complete opposite. no longer do i desire to be at the top, unable to get any higher in rank... not striving for that management position.. though now in want of a 2 weeks notice, and another job. no longer, no more-- or so i say.
having the ability to not care about the words others feel forced to communicate across. not caring about the one whom at one point, i indeed did. not worrying about the though of hesitation and solid regret from another team. i sit here, feeling incredibly refreshed and with a smile on my face, for tonight was nothing more than that satisfied. me.
enjoying all, hating nothing. excited by the thought of something positive, perhaps leaning in a direction of progression.
i exit saying, nothing.
the end.
~your's truly.
standing tall, looking at others, associating with the realm that ive never understood- adhering to the countless nights of sorrow and wine, i hold her and tell her the truth. -time does indeed, heal everything. i wipe her eyes, and pour her a refill.. and look at her with my sympathetic glance, wishing that i could heal her pain, for i love her too much to see her ache. time.
no longer do i enter that space with distraction and a fast heartbeat. no longer do i enhance my minds expectation and allow my heart to flutter at the thought of ones presence. no longer do i look forward to working in that hole, where the noise has transited from loud to silent, and the time has evaporated into the thin air and now remain at a mellow neutral. no longer do i look at her and smile for her capability of being cute is in the surface, though her insides reek of ugly satisfaction. perhaps, i am incorrect- for i have thought others out to be someone great, and they resulted in being the complete opposite. no longer do i desire to be at the top, unable to get any higher in rank... not striving for that management position.. though now in want of a 2 weeks notice, and another job. no longer, no more-- or so i say.
having the ability to not care about the words others feel forced to communicate across. not caring about the one whom at one point, i indeed did. not worrying about the though of hesitation and solid regret from another team. i sit here, feeling incredibly refreshed and with a smile on my face, for tonight was nothing more than that satisfied. me.
enjoying all, hating nothing. excited by the thought of something positive, perhaps leaning in a direction of progression.
i exit saying, nothing.
the end.
~your's truly.