Why?
Some people see themselves as rich with money, others se themselves as rich with emotion and love. Some have both, while I hae none. I'm dirt fucking poor of everything, no money in my pocket and void of emotion apparently. Sometimes I hate being me.
I tried getting a thoughtful gift for my girlfriend for christmas, of something that happened during the year. She guessed it out of her friend whom i had told to check with. My GF called me to tell me to trow it away because she hates those, it wasn't thoughtful and hated what was inside. she continued to tell me that i am horrible at giving gifts and she would rather have nothing than a gift from me. i tried, i honestly tried hard, and i get fucked over like a jew on Easter.
On another note, i hate Van Huesen, i hate flding shirts, it is quite honestly the dumbset thing i have EVER FUCKING HEARD OF. Why not just hang them up? it takes half the time, conserves more space, and is easier to get stuff out of. I hate the stupid fucking manager there she dislikes how i have to fidgiting all the time, like i can fucking help it? i was standing with my arms crossed at some point today just to kep my arms from hanging uselessly by my sides becaue i absolutely hate that feeling, and she walks up and hits my arms and says "Don't cross your arms at work it makes it look like you don't want to do your job" While i didn't want to do it, i wasn't the reason i was crossing them. and apparently you can't fucking wear sunglasses hanging from your shirt there, she said next time she sees my sunglasses, i get fucking written up. I hate Van Huesen.
Never have two jobs, its the worst thing in the world, i haven't had a real day off in around 4 weeks. School and work doesn't count as two jobs, school is a piece of cake compared to just the scheduling difficulties, Not to mention not being able to sit down for 10 hours(and yes that is legal cause 2 five hour shifts do not merit any type of break if at two different stores because 6 hours is the requisite for a break. And to add to it, you have no social time, when your not a work, your sleeping because tired from all the work you've done while trying to prepare for you next shift. It consumes your life.
honeslty, it feels as if my life has gone to shit once again. i know there can be worse, but i hate this feeling, the feeling of being in an eternal slump. If anyone who reads this knows me, you should know i get that way in January, this will be great.
I'm making my New Years resolution early this year, I'm going to stop being me, i'm going to stop doing what i normally do and change my whole lifestyle, because this one obviously is only bringing myself and others down. I don't know what changes i'll make or whom i may become, but it won't be me, or some type of me that i may have been before. If this doesn't work, then i'm just doomed with bad luck and should give up on all that im trying to do, just any goal.
More on goals, and more on none acomplishments, I couldn't even fucking finish high school. I had to drop out because of credits not lining up. Sure, i took the GED and am going to a community college, but lets see how long that lasts, i couldn't evn fucking do High School right, how will i deal with college? It seems as though all my lifelong goals end up being much less than i try for. If i'm lucky and continue for an architect i might get lucky and die a construction worker at 52.
I tried getting a thoughtful gift for my girlfriend for christmas, of something that happened during the year. She guessed it out of her friend whom i had told to check with. My GF called me to tell me to trow it away because she hates those, it wasn't thoughtful and hated what was inside. she continued to tell me that i am horrible at giving gifts and she would rather have nothing than a gift from me. i tried, i honestly tried hard, and i get fucked over like a jew on Easter.
On another note, i hate Van Huesen, i hate flding shirts, it is quite honestly the dumbset thing i have EVER FUCKING HEARD OF. Why not just hang them up? it takes half the time, conserves more space, and is easier to get stuff out of. I hate the stupid fucking manager there she dislikes how i have to fidgiting all the time, like i can fucking help it? i was standing with my arms crossed at some point today just to kep my arms from hanging uselessly by my sides becaue i absolutely hate that feeling, and she walks up and hits my arms and says "Don't cross your arms at work it makes it look like you don't want to do your job" While i didn't want to do it, i wasn't the reason i was crossing them. and apparently you can't fucking wear sunglasses hanging from your shirt there, she said next time she sees my sunglasses, i get fucking written up. I hate Van Huesen.
Never have two jobs, its the worst thing in the world, i haven't had a real day off in around 4 weeks. School and work doesn't count as two jobs, school is a piece of cake compared to just the scheduling difficulties, Not to mention not being able to sit down for 10 hours(and yes that is legal cause 2 five hour shifts do not merit any type of break if at two different stores because 6 hours is the requisite for a break. And to add to it, you have no social time, when your not a work, your sleeping because tired from all the work you've done while trying to prepare for you next shift. It consumes your life.
honeslty, it feels as if my life has gone to shit once again. i know there can be worse, but i hate this feeling, the feeling of being in an eternal slump. If anyone who reads this knows me, you should know i get that way in January, this will be great.
I'm making my New Years resolution early this year, I'm going to stop being me, i'm going to stop doing what i normally do and change my whole lifestyle, because this one obviously is only bringing myself and others down. I don't know what changes i'll make or whom i may become, but it won't be me, or some type of me that i may have been before. If this doesn't work, then i'm just doomed with bad luck and should give up on all that im trying to do, just any goal.
More on goals, and more on none acomplishments, I couldn't even fucking finish high school. I had to drop out because of credits not lining up. Sure, i took the GED and am going to a community college, but lets see how long that lasts, i couldn't evn fucking do High School right, how will i deal with college? It seems as though all my lifelong goals end up being much less than i try for. If i'm lucky and continue for an architect i might get lucky and die a construction worker at 52.