(no subject)
you know that feeling of your heart being tossed in the air and then killed by a bayonet, yeah its called heartache and the way gravity works on my throat now, the desire to flood tears but the inability to do so. i havent felt this in a bit and every night, its like a ritual, my stomach crashes into my intestines. the worst thing is that even after all the transition phases and the ways by which i solve my problems, i still prefer a hard drink to sorting things out with people you love. the latter is an impossibly fucking hard task, and i'm just not up for the challenge tonight. sometimes i wonder if i'll one day just give up on life, this big challenge. one day where one million bjork songs can't save me and double the number of jeff buckley songs can't describe my pain wholly.