(no subject)
How freakily intense is someone's love for you that he feels like vomitting each time we argue, over some minute meaningless subject? Undertaking a boy so fragile is like putting a mirror in front of me, and staring helplessly at the girl I was two years ago. The one that cried, don't leave, don't leave or I'll die.
Now having a boy like that, woven into my self like bloodclots, it doesn't make me feel empowered, it makes me feel more helpless than ever. He presses against me, and sobs without tears. Every thing seems to have an extra ounce of love and meaning in them now and I'm not running around in circles anymore. In a way I feel like Bjórk's Isobel and in a way I feel like the Princess Monoke in the cartoon video of Isobel, running in the wild alone but at the end of the day, there is a boy who covers her with furs.
Let my body decide, things like instinct and intuition sometimes have far better judgement than reason and analysis. I feel like I'm floating, but in reasonable control. And I realise that I speak mostly in my own metaphors and language that maybe sometimes I leave people confused. In normal everyday speech however, I'm three quaters laughter and one quater babble.
Now having a boy like that, woven into my self like bloodclots, it doesn't make me feel empowered, it makes me feel more helpless than ever. He presses against me, and sobs without tears. Every thing seems to have an extra ounce of love and meaning in them now and I'm not running around in circles anymore. In a way I feel like Bjórk's Isobel and in a way I feel like the Princess Monoke in the cartoon video of Isobel, running in the wild alone but at the end of the day, there is a boy who covers her with furs.
Let my body decide, things like instinct and intuition sometimes have far better judgement than reason and analysis. I feel like I'm floating, but in reasonable control. And I realise that I speak mostly in my own metaphors and language that maybe sometimes I leave people confused. In normal everyday speech however, I'm three quaters laughter and one quater babble.