Frustrations
Sometimes I think that Grad School and I just aren't working out. I mean, sure, at the beginning, it looks wonderful. Things are going smoothly, we're both having fun, it's great. But it seems like the last few semesters, after a few weeks into it, something changes. Things go south - there's a lot of arguing. Sleepless nights, neither of us are happy - it just isn't working. And yet, every semester I come back, and it's the same cycle. You'd think I'd learn, after all...
So this semester was supposed to be "easy." A single test and a paper. No big deal, I've dealt with worse.
Except my job got in my way. TONS of travel, making this paper anything but easy. I ended up getting assigned a fairly early due date (Nov. 8th) - which has it's perks (I'll be completely done by my birthday) but also doesn't give me a whole lot of time.
Before I left for New Mexico, I had gotten about 3 pages done. Note, this is supposed to be a 10-12 page paper, plus a 50 minute presentation. I've since managed to complete about another page. I have JUST over a week left. I had been planning on working this weekend, and then possibly taking some time off next week.
My boss just pointed out that it'd be better for me to take time off this week, as opposed to next. While I have to agree, I don't want to be locked in to NOT taking time next week if I need it. This paper is coming REALLY slowly - but then, it's possible that it's just coming slowly because I haven't had the time or energy to work on it. I tried to get some work on it done here, but between working 12-14 hour days and generally having very little down time, the one (and a half) day(s) we did have off I ended up getting about a page written (and some other grunt work done), and finishing off BSG season 3 (7 episodes). Yeah, REALLY productive there.
But you know what? I needed it. I needed the break. It was the only "weekend" I had, and I haven't even been able to really come back to my hotel room and relax at night - usually we get back late (thanks 1+ hour drive from the site) and then go out to eat. By the time we get back from dinner, it's bed time, since we have to be up early in the morning (thanks 1+ hour drive to the site) leaving me very little time to decompress. If I didn't have the paper, I'd be fine, but it just doesn't leave me in a state where I can actually get any work done.
So I'm going to take off Thursday and Friday, and try and get more work done. As it is, I'm behind again - I was supposed to have my abstract into him last week, I think. Hell, I don't even know what my abstract IS. I have a basic idea about the concept of the paper, but I really don't know how it's going to change while I write it. I'm going to try and get one written up tonight or tomorrow, and hope that he doesn't dock points because I haven't gotten it to him on time.
I can barely see myself getting this done, much less getting the thing revised at all. I'm hoping to have a friend or two take a look at it to point out any glaring errors or problems, and then say "to hell with it" and turn it in as is.
It's frustrating, because I've always been a straight A student, and I've always been able to get my work done "no matter what." But that just doesn't seem to be happening this time. Hell, it seems like this happens EVERY class I take. But yet, I always manage to pull it out - I just worry that this once, it's not going to happen.
I guess we'll see. And I'm going to try not to be too hard on myself for it. I just have to wonder if it's really worth it for this - given the choice, so far this semester I'd have picked work over school every time. And I gotta think that's trying to tell me something.
So this semester was supposed to be "easy." A single test and a paper. No big deal, I've dealt with worse.
Except my job got in my way. TONS of travel, making this paper anything but easy. I ended up getting assigned a fairly early due date (Nov. 8th) - which has it's perks (I'll be completely done by my birthday) but also doesn't give me a whole lot of time.
Before I left for New Mexico, I had gotten about 3 pages done. Note, this is supposed to be a 10-12 page paper, plus a 50 minute presentation. I've since managed to complete about another page. I have JUST over a week left. I had been planning on working this weekend, and then possibly taking some time off next week.
My boss just pointed out that it'd be better for me to take time off this week, as opposed to next. While I have to agree, I don't want to be locked in to NOT taking time next week if I need it. This paper is coming REALLY slowly - but then, it's possible that it's just coming slowly because I haven't had the time or energy to work on it. I tried to get some work on it done here, but between working 12-14 hour days and generally having very little down time, the one (and a half) day(s) we did have off I ended up getting about a page written (and some other grunt work done), and finishing off BSG season 3 (7 episodes). Yeah, REALLY productive there.
But you know what? I needed it. I needed the break. It was the only "weekend" I had, and I haven't even been able to really come back to my hotel room and relax at night - usually we get back late (thanks 1+ hour drive from the site) and then go out to eat. By the time we get back from dinner, it's bed time, since we have to be up early in the morning (thanks 1+ hour drive to the site) leaving me very little time to decompress. If I didn't have the paper, I'd be fine, but it just doesn't leave me in a state where I can actually get any work done.
So I'm going to take off Thursday and Friday, and try and get more work done. As it is, I'm behind again - I was supposed to have my abstract into him last week, I think. Hell, I don't even know what my abstract IS. I have a basic idea about the concept of the paper, but I really don't know how it's going to change while I write it. I'm going to try and get one written up tonight or tomorrow, and hope that he doesn't dock points because I haven't gotten it to him on time.
I can barely see myself getting this done, much less getting the thing revised at all. I'm hoping to have a friend or two take a look at it to point out any glaring errors or problems, and then say "to hell with it" and turn it in as is.
It's frustrating, because I've always been a straight A student, and I've always been able to get my work done "no matter what." But that just doesn't seem to be happening this time. Hell, it seems like this happens EVERY class I take. But yet, I always manage to pull it out - I just worry that this once, it's not going to happen.
I guess we'll see. And I'm going to try not to be too hard on myself for it. I just have to wonder if it's really worth it for this - given the choice, so far this semester I'd have picked work over school every time. And I gotta think that's trying to tell me something.