I feel like I'm drowning.

[incunut]

I feel like I'm drowning.
I can't breathe, can't speak, can't see.
I can't do anything about my fate, and it kills me.
I wake up only to see the nightmare isn't over
and I feel that it won't be, atleast not any time soon.
If ever.
And it scares me. And it hurts. And I'm null and void.

Why should I have to compete for what I want,
with someone who doesn't realize what they had.
What I had. What I still want. What I need.
It's not fair.
It's not fair to let someone that I care nothing for
have complete control over my happiness with someone I care everything for.
But what am I to do about it?
No way to fight it.
Not my choice, as much as I wish it was.

I'll have to try to be patient
but it's impossible when I see it all slipping away.
Slipping through my fingers, as I do nothing.
Because I can't fix it.
And I'm lost.
Useless and hopelessly hopeful.
Null and void.