The world around me is changing...
I feel stronger in a sense because I am weaker. I FEEL now. I have feelings and I care about myself as well as others. I'm so much more open to trust and to love and to happiness. I care about myself now. No more death wishes and no more wanting to kill myself. I'm living life as it comes at me and I'm not as worried about the world and everything else as much, now. I'm still a kid and I need to enjoy it. Let me explain...
I realized today that the tables have changed with Brandon and I. I've turned into Brandon and he's turned into me. I like being free about things and happy. He say he likes the way he is, too, but I don't like the way he is. I told him he needs to change the way he is doing things or I'm going to leave him. I love him with every fiber in my body, but I just want to be happy. I've found a good medium between the way I was and the way he was. I'm not a tight-wad and I'm not acting like a 3 year old. I think I'm very happy with the way my life is right now. I still want to get married and have children and I'm still worried about my grades but I'm not so worried about growing up faster. I'm going to slow things down and enjoy the ride because if you don't enjoy the ride your doing it all for nothing. I've got a wonderful family and a new baby brother. I've got great friends who have been there for me through everything. I'm a very intellegent and beautiful person and I'm going to take advantage of those things. I'm not going to take life for granted anymore. I want to be with the one I love but I'm not going to let him bring me down. I love him so much but I'm ready to have fun and live now, and if he's not I'm not going to let him stand in my way. If that means breaking up with him then so be it because I'm going to live my life like there's no tomorrow. There really may not be, I may die tomorrow and I'm not going to let myself die unhappy. I have changed so much since Brandon and I broke up the last time. Thanks Brandon for showing me a better way....
"So don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold..."
My lifesavers....incubus
Tori
I realized today that the tables have changed with Brandon and I. I've turned into Brandon and he's turned into me. I like being free about things and happy. He say he likes the way he is, too, but I don't like the way he is. I told him he needs to change the way he is doing things or I'm going to leave him. I love him with every fiber in my body, but I just want to be happy. I've found a good medium between the way I was and the way he was. I'm not a tight-wad and I'm not acting like a 3 year old. I think I'm very happy with the way my life is right now. I still want to get married and have children and I'm still worried about my grades but I'm not so worried about growing up faster. I'm going to slow things down and enjoy the ride because if you don't enjoy the ride your doing it all for nothing. I've got a wonderful family and a new baby brother. I've got great friends who have been there for me through everything. I'm a very intellegent and beautiful person and I'm going to take advantage of those things. I'm not going to take life for granted anymore. I want to be with the one I love but I'm not going to let him bring me down. I love him so much but I'm ready to have fun and live now, and if he's not I'm not going to let him stand in my way. If that means breaking up with him then so be it because I'm going to live my life like there's no tomorrow. There really may not be, I may die tomorrow and I'm not going to let myself die unhappy. I have changed so much since Brandon and I broke up the last time. Thanks Brandon for showing me a better way....
"So don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold..."
My lifesavers....incubus
Tori