The Incubators Ohana - part eight
In the weeks after, Maui seems changed, subdued to the point of depression and we all see it. He sets to each and every task like it's a personal mission to accomplish them perfectly, berates himself when things go wrong and becomes almost a stanger amongst us. I understand to a point, I can see the hurt he's going through. Though the act of love between slaves is forbidden, it doesn't take away the fact that we do feel, that we do love, that we do fall in love. We can't simply turn off those feelings like a switch when we are expected or ordered to.
He and Kono kept their affair secret but now, in the aftermath, it's evident to see how the experience has affected him. Not only has he lost her, but he blames himself because he was involved in the reason why she isn't with us anymore. They are both equally to blame, but her punishment seems greater to him than his own and he steeps himself in guilt because of it. He can't see that his own punishment, being denied to love is equally as harrowing and torturous. The only person he reacts to is Danny, always a little more animated, trying to smile and drag himself through the situation.
But Danny works long hours at times and isn't there to see Maui shut down around us, how he's drifting from us, like he's part of the household but doesn't belong. It's like living with two different people, around us he's a stranger, but when Danny is home it's like he comes alive. But it's a false presence, a shadow that surrounds him, hiding his grief from his Master because he doesn't want to endanger his status in the household or anger him because of it.
Attempts to drag him out of his stupor have been exhausted and though I've tried to tell Danny, how Maui acts so differently around us, it's hard to convince him something is wrong.
"He's just finding it hard to adjust Steve," Danny tells me when I bring up the subject again. "Of course he doesn't want me to see him upset about it. It's going to take time for him to get over Kono."
"Please Danny, talk to him," I ask him, to the point of begging. "He'll open up to you if you push him enough."
"I'm not going to force him to tell me what I already know," Danny replies, in a tone that tells me he doesn't want to talk or argue over this any more. "He's already suffering enough, I'm not going to prolong that by constantly bringing up the subject."
"But Danny," I try but he turns to me with a steely gaze and I know I'm pushing my luck.
"That's enough," Danny snaps at me. "We're not talking about this any more."
I swallow down any arguments I have and look away, but my worry remains.
~
I hope that time is a healer but Maui's silence is deafening. He barely speaks a word to the rest of us slaves, he gets on with his work and he seems less melancholy that before. But it's like he's broken and needs to be fixed only we can't piece him back together. I decide to try a different approach with him. I sense he somehow feels he's shamed us all with his behaviour and can't be forgiven for it. I felt the same way but my relationship with Danny means I'm more easily able to fix things between myself, him and my fellow slaves. Strangely my bond with Danny is stronger and tighter than before and that seeps into the rest of the household.
Maui is aware of his precarious position now. He's dissapointed Danny not once but twice and he's also painfully aware of how much can be lost if he fucks up again. I think he feels if he makes a mistake around us that when Danny finds out, that he will be sent away. He fears to grow close in case he loses us and views us as spies ready to pounce on his every mistake. The one person in the house when Danny isn't home that he can't feel this way towards is Grace.
She may only be a baby but at eighteen months she knows everyone. We are her family and she's comfortable around all of us. Danny didn't hire another nanny once he sold Kono. I may be new to being a parent but you learn quickly and together with Kim we've settled into a routine with Grace. But I start to make excuses to get Maui involved with her, together with Kim we feel it may be the one way we can reach out to him. When Grace was first brought home Maui was terrified of her. He wouldn't hold her and was wary of being around her lest he somehow break her or cause her harm. Babies are strange creatures but you get used to them, they're just small human beings who need to be nurtured.
I've taken to asking Maui to watch her so I can go do some small task. Maui is comfortable enough around her now that he's perfectly happy to sit with her. My small tasks end up taking me a long time, once I start returning to find him happily entertaining her. Kim also applies the same practices and eventually Maui starts making up his own excuses just to spend time with Grace.
He takes her for strolls in the privacy of our gardens, sits with her on the lanai and entertains her with toys, funny faces and stories. He helps with her feeds, changes diapers and settles into nannying like he was born for the task. I start to sit with him sometimes when he's with her and at first he makes excuses to leave so he doesn't have to talk or feel awkward around me, but that soon passes.
He finds me one day on the lanai, it's a warm sticky day, too hot to be inside but no breeze ouside either. The heat always makes Grace tired and she's asleep against my chest as we sit in the shade and I waft a fan over the both of us to keep us cool. Maui comes and sits down with a smile.
"I've fixed the air conditioning unit in the nursery," he tells me. The damn things has been acting up for a few days and we had to move the cot into Danny's room until it was fixed. Too warm on the evenings for Grace to sleep there while it was broken.
"Thanks, I'm sure she'll appreciate it," I reply with a small smile.
He sits back on his chair and watches me before his eyes shift over the sands to the water line. He stares for a long while, a strange expression in his eyes. It's always there now, the sadness and self doubt.
"Maui," I say carefully. I can already see the shutter sliding into place, like he senses my questioning before I begin. "Don't you think you should talk about it?"
"About what?" he deflects but he drops his eyes and starts fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.
"About what's gone on the past few months," I reply. "About how you've been feeling."
"I'm fine," he tells me, though looking at him, hearing him, it's evident he isn't. "Why do you care any way?"
I sigh and shift a little, Grace stirs for a few seconds but rests again.
"I care. We all do," I assure him, even if he doesn't want to believe it. "We're all worried about you. You're different, you've changed, around the rest of us slaves any way. I see how you try around Danny, not wanting him to see the struggle you're going through. He wouldn't punish you for it Maui. He'd want to help you through it, but he can't help you if you pretend you're okay."
"I don't want him to see it," Maui shakes his head violently at me. "He'll think I can't let go, that I haven't moved on. I can't let him down again Steve, you know that. I haven't got any chances left and I don't want to hurt him any more."
"Trust me Maui, I understand you don't want to," I tell him. "But don't you think it will hurt him to find out you've been suffering in silence all this time because of what has happened. That you're carrying around this burden because you're terrified of his rejection. He loves you Maui, he loves all of us. I've tried telling him you aren't happy, that you're finding it difficult but he doesn't believe me because you hide it so well from him. He understands you're hiding your upset over Kono and what happened, he accepts you need time to get over it. But he doesn't see the depression, the silence, the self doubt and fear you're in. It would kill him to find out you've been making yourself suffer like this."
"And that's why I can't talk to him," Maui says, voice broken and face crumpling into a wince and frown. "I've put him through enough. For him to know I've been hiding this, that I didn't trust him enough to talk to him about it. You heard what he said to me. I can't afford to hurt him again Steve. I'd rather live with it, suffer like this and risk losing my place here, to risk losing him."
I can understand his fears, but he's displaced Danny's words into meaning something they don't. Danny meant them as a means to prevent Maui lying to him again, doing an act that would bring him and the household into danger. They weren't meant for Maui to suffer eternally under the fear that any small act of wrong doing would mean his dismissal from the household.
"Do you remember everything he said to you Maui?" I say to him, trying to get him to see reason. "Do you remember he told you he loved you? That he cares? Don't turn his words into some form of self imprisonment on yourself. Shutting yourself down and showing him what you think he wants to see will become exhausting, you'll only suffer in the long term. He can't help you be the best person you can be unless you open up to him."
Maui shakes his head. He can't see that what he is doing is anything other than a way of keeping his place in Danny's life.
"Please Maui," I ask him hopeful he'll at least consider my advice. "Please talk to him. The only person who can convince him something is wrong so you can both fix it is you."
"I can't," he sighs softly, running a hand over his face and sighing with the heaviness of the weight on his shoulders.
"Yes you can," I assure him. "You just need to be brave and remind yourself who he is and what it means to you to be part of his life."
~
We don't talk about it again and though I hope he will talk to Danny that evening, he doesn't. I can't force him to talk, neither can I convince Danny any more that something is wrong so I hold my peace. The weekend hits and Danny spends time at home with all of us, commenting on how good Maui is with Grace now, seeing for himself how they've taken to each other. I excuse myself when Maui appears in the nursery where Danny is amusing Grace on her swing seat. I feel perhaps time will be the pay off, that the more Maui is left alone around Danny that his reservations about talking will start to falter.
That evening there's a tap on the door. Danny and I are fooling around and usually he'd ignore the knocking until we're finished or growl at the interruption and tell them to come back later. But I feel perhaps Maui has finally built up the courage to come and speak to him and can't risk him being rejected. I lay a hand on Danny's arm as the tap occurs a little louder this time, ignoring my arousal as Danny's fingers stroke my cock quick and efficently.
"Danny," I gasp, more for his attention at the door than his touches.
"They'll come back later," he grins and sets to sucking on my neck as his fingers grasp me more firmly.
"Maybe you should see who it is," I manage to grunt out giving him a small push.
Usually I'd not be so reluctant which causes him to pause and look at me with a questioning look in his eyes.
"What's going on?" he asks suspicious of my behaviour.
"Just please, see who it is," I urge him.
He pulls off me from where we'd ended up half lying on the bed and I press my palm down hard on my cock to stave off my erection. He walks to the door and opens it a crack to question who ever it is that has disturbed us and I hear Maui's voice answering him.
"I need to talk to you Danny, please," I hear him say, the strain and tightness in his voice.
I manage to fasten my pants back up as Danny opens the door a little more. In other circumstances he'd have told Maui, or any one else to come back later. But I think he detects Maui needs to have this conversation now or never. I stand up and head over to the connecting door to the nursery as Danny ushers Maui inside.
"I'll give you some privacy," I mutter, escaping into the nursery before Danny can question me.
I sprawl out on the easy chair near Grace's cot and wait.
~
It feels like hours and I doze off in the chair. I wake suddenly as my head lolls forward, jerking up and scrubbing a hand over my face. I go back to the connector door and listen for voices but there are none. I crack the door open without a sound, unsure whether they will still be talking. Danny is sitting on the edge of the bed, Maui is sprawled out on it, asleep and Danny's hand rests comfortingly on his back.
He looks over at me as I push the door open a little more, gives me a weary look and beckons me in with a small incline of his head. I draw nearer to the bed and I can see Maui has tear stained cheeks and red blotched eyes. His breathing is short and shallow, a little shaky and I know he's obviously cried himself to sleep after talking to Danny. All his grief needed to come out at some point.
Danny stands slowly, making sure not to disturb him and pulls me aside to the window where we can talk in lowered voices.
"Fucking hell Steve," Danny sighs tiredly. "I'm sorry. You were right. Took him a little while to open up but then the flood gates opened and he poured everything out to me. It took me several minutes just to calm him down and assure him I wasn't going to sell him for hiding it from me."
Running a hand through his hair he sighs, shoulders slumping as he looks back over to Maui.
"Fuck I just," Danny starts and swallows down. "I need him to take my words to heart but not like that, not when it breaks him like this."
"He's still young Danny," I tell him. "You're his only owner but he gets that not all owners are like you, that he struck lucky in becoming part of this household. He's just desperate not to screw up again. And I think he really loved Kono, was in love with her. And no matter how much we know, how much it's drilled into us that it's forbidden to enter into that kind of relationship with one another, it isn't easy to simply switch off and not become involved. When you're starved of love like we are as we're trained, you latch onto anyone that shows you affection. I think he's come to love you so much he can't bear the thought of losing you, so he shut out the rest of us, afraid he'd make the same mistake again. If he doesn't become close to us and keeps his relationship with you open then he's protecting himself from the danger and hurt."
Danny nods his head and rests a hand on my arm. "That's what he told me, eventually. He's so afraid of being sold on, terrified of it. I meant what I said, but it would take some major fuck up on his part for me to sell him. He seems to think that anything, even a minor misdemeanour would see him put out. Even talking to me about that fear had him worrying I was going to turn on him. Poor fucking kid. I made him tell me everything. He ended up crying himself to exhaustion, I had to get him lie down and rest."
"I think he needed to let it out," I say in thought. "Maybe now he can start being himself again. He's had us all worried."
"Apart from me," Danny says bitterly. "Fuck Steve, what kind of Master am I that I didn't take notice of the signs? I thought he was okay. I ignored that you were trying to tell me he wasn't."
"Don't Danny, don't blame yourself," I shake my head at him. "He hid it well. He's like two different people. The way he's acted around the rest of us is completely different to how he acts when you are around. Grace is the one way we could get him to connect again."
Danny looks at me and gives a small smile. "That's why you've been encouraging him to spend time with her?"
I shrug my shoulders, "She's not a slave and she's a child. We all love her and he knows he can freely allow any feelings of care and protection for her to exist, without fear of being punished for it. She gives her love freely without care of who we are or our status because she doesn't know any different."
"Fuck baby this is one hell of a mess," Danny sighs. "I thought we'd have moved on from it all now."
"We are, we have," I tell him. "It's just some of us are a little battered and broken from the experience. Maui needs to understand there's different ways of loving people. I think what happened with Kono means no matter what the temptation he would never enter into such a relationship again. He just needs to learn he can be close in different ways."
"I think what happened with Kono is partly my fault," Danny sighs and shakes his head. "He'd already had a glimpse into the kind of pleasure that can be gained in a physical encounter with someone. I showed him that. Maybe he couldn't resist the pull, the need of it and when Kono offerred it to him he simply couldn't say no."
I press my lips together and don't say anything. We've not spoken of Danny's fucking Maui since it happened but I still remember that night vividly. How it made me feel, how jealous I was and so angry at him. Danny senses my attitude to the subject and mutters out a quick 'sorry' to me for bringing up old memories.
"He should be okay, now that we've talked about it," Danny sighs, changing the subject and looking back over at Maui. "Would you mind sleeping in his room tonight? I think he needs me more than I've realised these last few weeks. I've been carrying a grudge against him because of what happened. He isn't stupid, he's sensed it and it hasn't done anything to ease his mind or help him move on. I think I need to spend some time with him and right now he just needs to know I'm there for him no matter what's gone on."
I feel a stab of jealousy dart through me at the idea and Danny sees it. I can't help it, there's a history there no matter if it were one fleeting moment between the two of them. He places a hand on my arm and gives me a knowing smile.
"Steve," he says teasingly. "Please?"
I give a nod because it isn't like I can rightly refuse his request. And I trust nothing will happen, no matter how much right Danny has to fuck Maui again if he wanted too.
"Yes, of course," I shrug in agreement and he pulls me in for a quick kiss.
"Go on, go to bed, it's getting late," he chides me gently, giving me a small push and pinch on my ass as I leave.
~
I wake early the next morning and with no Danny to keep me in bed I get up and dressed before making my way through the house. Kame has always been an early riser and the breakfast is already being prepared, I make myself a coffee and pick at the bacon before he chases me off wielding a wooden spoon. I divert to the nursery to see if Grace is awake and find her curled in Maui's arms as he reads to her from a book.
Spying me she smiles and wriggles in Maui's arms, pointing at the book like she's explaining to me that it's her start to the day. Maui's smiles sheepishly as he rocks her on his lap, turning the pages.
"I heard her stirring," he explains. "But it's a little early for breakfast."
"Yeah, Kamekona has just chased me out of the kitchen," I smile with a nod, going over to them to drop a kiss into Grace's hair. "Morning baby girl."
I put a hand on Maui's shoulder and give it a squeeze of reassurance. "Everything okay with you?"
"It will be," Maui nods back at me. "You were right Steve, I should have trusted him more."
"You've come through a lot the last few months Maui. You're allowed to feel hurt and upset because of it all," I explain to him. "Danny doesn't expect us to be mindless, unfeeling, emotionless drones. He doesn't want that from us."
"I know. It's just," he starts, sidetracked by Grace as she grabs at the pages of the book. He turns the page and lets her point to things before looking at me again. "I don't feel I deserve the second chance Steve. Kono hadn't done anything wrong until - what happened between us happened. I shouldn't be here. It isn't fair. None of it is."
"No, none of it is Maui," I agree shaking my head. "But Danny had his reasons for keeping you and selling her on. There's a reason he keeps giving you chances, because he sees something in you. Something maybe even you don't see. Kono, she's been with other families, Danny wasn't her first owner and perhaps it will be her life that she moves from family to family. It's just the way life is for some slaves. It was the same way for me until Danny bought me. But you, you're lucky, because Danny bought you fresh off the market and life here, with him as your Master, you should treasure that like a gift. You've been here long enough to see Danny doesn't buy and sell slaves on a whim. He brings them into this house to be part of the family."
"Everybody deserves a second chance," Danny interrupts from the doorway of the bedroom.
Grace starts bouncing at the sound of his voice, impressed she's being visited by so many people so early on in the day. Danny walks over to us with a casual smile, bending down to pinch Grace's cheek and press a kiss to my lips. Danny turns his focus to Maui and reaches out to brush a hand against his cheek.
"You may not feel you deserve that chance," Danny explains to him. "But that's the lucky thing about being your Master, you've no choice but to take it."
Maui smiles as Grace reaches up to grab at Danny's fingers, making babbling noises at him.
"I smell bacon," Danny declares, pulling Grace gently out of Maui's arms to lift her up with him as he stand straight. "Come on, lets get breakfast."
We arrive to find everyone sitting down to begin breakfast and we take our seats. Kamekona, as usual, has lain out a mini feast of breakfast stuffs and it doesn't take long for plates to be filled. Grace sits making a mess of her food and keeping everyone amused by her antics as Kamekona tries to feed her scrambled egg. I look around at the others, it's still strange to be without Kono but that's the way it is sometimes, you learn to adjust. As for the rest of us, we're all happy, joking with each other, discussing the things to be done for the day as Danny half reads the paper and tries to keep up with all of us. This is my life and it's good, sometimes it gets fucked up a little, sometimes we make mistakes and have to live with the consequences.
But along the way sometimes you get lucky and find your Ohana.
~ fin ~
He and Kono kept their affair secret but now, in the aftermath, it's evident to see how the experience has affected him. Not only has he lost her, but he blames himself because he was involved in the reason why she isn't with us anymore. They are both equally to blame, but her punishment seems greater to him than his own and he steeps himself in guilt because of it. He can't see that his own punishment, being denied to love is equally as harrowing and torturous. The only person he reacts to is Danny, always a little more animated, trying to smile and drag himself through the situation.
But Danny works long hours at times and isn't there to see Maui shut down around us, how he's drifting from us, like he's part of the household but doesn't belong. It's like living with two different people, around us he's a stranger, but when Danny is home it's like he comes alive. But it's a false presence, a shadow that surrounds him, hiding his grief from his Master because he doesn't want to endanger his status in the household or anger him because of it.
Attempts to drag him out of his stupor have been exhausted and though I've tried to tell Danny, how Maui acts so differently around us, it's hard to convince him something is wrong.
"He's just finding it hard to adjust Steve," Danny tells me when I bring up the subject again. "Of course he doesn't want me to see him upset about it. It's going to take time for him to get over Kono."
"Please Danny, talk to him," I ask him, to the point of begging. "He'll open up to you if you push him enough."
"I'm not going to force him to tell me what I already know," Danny replies, in a tone that tells me he doesn't want to talk or argue over this any more. "He's already suffering enough, I'm not going to prolong that by constantly bringing up the subject."
"But Danny," I try but he turns to me with a steely gaze and I know I'm pushing my luck.
"That's enough," Danny snaps at me. "We're not talking about this any more."
I swallow down any arguments I have and look away, but my worry remains.
~
I hope that time is a healer but Maui's silence is deafening. He barely speaks a word to the rest of us slaves, he gets on with his work and he seems less melancholy that before. But it's like he's broken and needs to be fixed only we can't piece him back together. I decide to try a different approach with him. I sense he somehow feels he's shamed us all with his behaviour and can't be forgiven for it. I felt the same way but my relationship with Danny means I'm more easily able to fix things between myself, him and my fellow slaves. Strangely my bond with Danny is stronger and tighter than before and that seeps into the rest of the household.
Maui is aware of his precarious position now. He's dissapointed Danny not once but twice and he's also painfully aware of how much can be lost if he fucks up again. I think he feels if he makes a mistake around us that when Danny finds out, that he will be sent away. He fears to grow close in case he loses us and views us as spies ready to pounce on his every mistake. The one person in the house when Danny isn't home that he can't feel this way towards is Grace.
She may only be a baby but at eighteen months she knows everyone. We are her family and she's comfortable around all of us. Danny didn't hire another nanny once he sold Kono. I may be new to being a parent but you learn quickly and together with Kim we've settled into a routine with Grace. But I start to make excuses to get Maui involved with her, together with Kim we feel it may be the one way we can reach out to him. When Grace was first brought home Maui was terrified of her. He wouldn't hold her and was wary of being around her lest he somehow break her or cause her harm. Babies are strange creatures but you get used to them, they're just small human beings who need to be nurtured.
I've taken to asking Maui to watch her so I can go do some small task. Maui is comfortable enough around her now that he's perfectly happy to sit with her. My small tasks end up taking me a long time, once I start returning to find him happily entertaining her. Kim also applies the same practices and eventually Maui starts making up his own excuses just to spend time with Grace.
He takes her for strolls in the privacy of our gardens, sits with her on the lanai and entertains her with toys, funny faces and stories. He helps with her feeds, changes diapers and settles into nannying like he was born for the task. I start to sit with him sometimes when he's with her and at first he makes excuses to leave so he doesn't have to talk or feel awkward around me, but that soon passes.
He finds me one day on the lanai, it's a warm sticky day, too hot to be inside but no breeze ouside either. The heat always makes Grace tired and she's asleep against my chest as we sit in the shade and I waft a fan over the both of us to keep us cool. Maui comes and sits down with a smile.
"I've fixed the air conditioning unit in the nursery," he tells me. The damn things has been acting up for a few days and we had to move the cot into Danny's room until it was fixed. Too warm on the evenings for Grace to sleep there while it was broken.
"Thanks, I'm sure she'll appreciate it," I reply with a small smile.
He sits back on his chair and watches me before his eyes shift over the sands to the water line. He stares for a long while, a strange expression in his eyes. It's always there now, the sadness and self doubt.
"Maui," I say carefully. I can already see the shutter sliding into place, like he senses my questioning before I begin. "Don't you think you should talk about it?"
"About what?" he deflects but he drops his eyes and starts fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.
"About what's gone on the past few months," I reply. "About how you've been feeling."
"I'm fine," he tells me, though looking at him, hearing him, it's evident he isn't. "Why do you care any way?"
I sigh and shift a little, Grace stirs for a few seconds but rests again.
"I care. We all do," I assure him, even if he doesn't want to believe it. "We're all worried about you. You're different, you've changed, around the rest of us slaves any way. I see how you try around Danny, not wanting him to see the struggle you're going through. He wouldn't punish you for it Maui. He'd want to help you through it, but he can't help you if you pretend you're okay."
"I don't want him to see it," Maui shakes his head violently at me. "He'll think I can't let go, that I haven't moved on. I can't let him down again Steve, you know that. I haven't got any chances left and I don't want to hurt him any more."
"Trust me Maui, I understand you don't want to," I tell him. "But don't you think it will hurt him to find out you've been suffering in silence all this time because of what has happened. That you're carrying around this burden because you're terrified of his rejection. He loves you Maui, he loves all of us. I've tried telling him you aren't happy, that you're finding it difficult but he doesn't believe me because you hide it so well from him. He understands you're hiding your upset over Kono and what happened, he accepts you need time to get over it. But he doesn't see the depression, the silence, the self doubt and fear you're in. It would kill him to find out you've been making yourself suffer like this."
"And that's why I can't talk to him," Maui says, voice broken and face crumpling into a wince and frown. "I've put him through enough. For him to know I've been hiding this, that I didn't trust him enough to talk to him about it. You heard what he said to me. I can't afford to hurt him again Steve. I'd rather live with it, suffer like this and risk losing my place here, to risk losing him."
I can understand his fears, but he's displaced Danny's words into meaning something they don't. Danny meant them as a means to prevent Maui lying to him again, doing an act that would bring him and the household into danger. They weren't meant for Maui to suffer eternally under the fear that any small act of wrong doing would mean his dismissal from the household.
"Do you remember everything he said to you Maui?" I say to him, trying to get him to see reason. "Do you remember he told you he loved you? That he cares? Don't turn his words into some form of self imprisonment on yourself. Shutting yourself down and showing him what you think he wants to see will become exhausting, you'll only suffer in the long term. He can't help you be the best person you can be unless you open up to him."
Maui shakes his head. He can't see that what he is doing is anything other than a way of keeping his place in Danny's life.
"Please Maui," I ask him hopeful he'll at least consider my advice. "Please talk to him. The only person who can convince him something is wrong so you can both fix it is you."
"I can't," he sighs softly, running a hand over his face and sighing with the heaviness of the weight on his shoulders.
"Yes you can," I assure him. "You just need to be brave and remind yourself who he is and what it means to you to be part of his life."
~
We don't talk about it again and though I hope he will talk to Danny that evening, he doesn't. I can't force him to talk, neither can I convince Danny any more that something is wrong so I hold my peace. The weekend hits and Danny spends time at home with all of us, commenting on how good Maui is with Grace now, seeing for himself how they've taken to each other. I excuse myself when Maui appears in the nursery where Danny is amusing Grace on her swing seat. I feel perhaps time will be the pay off, that the more Maui is left alone around Danny that his reservations about talking will start to falter.
That evening there's a tap on the door. Danny and I are fooling around and usually he'd ignore the knocking until we're finished or growl at the interruption and tell them to come back later. But I feel perhaps Maui has finally built up the courage to come and speak to him and can't risk him being rejected. I lay a hand on Danny's arm as the tap occurs a little louder this time, ignoring my arousal as Danny's fingers stroke my cock quick and efficently.
"Danny," I gasp, more for his attention at the door than his touches.
"They'll come back later," he grins and sets to sucking on my neck as his fingers grasp me more firmly.
"Maybe you should see who it is," I manage to grunt out giving him a small push.
Usually I'd not be so reluctant which causes him to pause and look at me with a questioning look in his eyes.
"What's going on?" he asks suspicious of my behaviour.
"Just please, see who it is," I urge him.
He pulls off me from where we'd ended up half lying on the bed and I press my palm down hard on my cock to stave off my erection. He walks to the door and opens it a crack to question who ever it is that has disturbed us and I hear Maui's voice answering him.
"I need to talk to you Danny, please," I hear him say, the strain and tightness in his voice.
I manage to fasten my pants back up as Danny opens the door a little more. In other circumstances he'd have told Maui, or any one else to come back later. But I think he detects Maui needs to have this conversation now or never. I stand up and head over to the connecting door to the nursery as Danny ushers Maui inside.
"I'll give you some privacy," I mutter, escaping into the nursery before Danny can question me.
I sprawl out on the easy chair near Grace's cot and wait.
~
It feels like hours and I doze off in the chair. I wake suddenly as my head lolls forward, jerking up and scrubbing a hand over my face. I go back to the connector door and listen for voices but there are none. I crack the door open without a sound, unsure whether they will still be talking. Danny is sitting on the edge of the bed, Maui is sprawled out on it, asleep and Danny's hand rests comfortingly on his back.
He looks over at me as I push the door open a little more, gives me a weary look and beckons me in with a small incline of his head. I draw nearer to the bed and I can see Maui has tear stained cheeks and red blotched eyes. His breathing is short and shallow, a little shaky and I know he's obviously cried himself to sleep after talking to Danny. All his grief needed to come out at some point.
Danny stands slowly, making sure not to disturb him and pulls me aside to the window where we can talk in lowered voices.
"Fucking hell Steve," Danny sighs tiredly. "I'm sorry. You were right. Took him a little while to open up but then the flood gates opened and he poured everything out to me. It took me several minutes just to calm him down and assure him I wasn't going to sell him for hiding it from me."
Running a hand through his hair he sighs, shoulders slumping as he looks back over to Maui.
"Fuck I just," Danny starts and swallows down. "I need him to take my words to heart but not like that, not when it breaks him like this."
"He's still young Danny," I tell him. "You're his only owner but he gets that not all owners are like you, that he struck lucky in becoming part of this household. He's just desperate not to screw up again. And I think he really loved Kono, was in love with her. And no matter how much we know, how much it's drilled into us that it's forbidden to enter into that kind of relationship with one another, it isn't easy to simply switch off and not become involved. When you're starved of love like we are as we're trained, you latch onto anyone that shows you affection. I think he's come to love you so much he can't bear the thought of losing you, so he shut out the rest of us, afraid he'd make the same mistake again. If he doesn't become close to us and keeps his relationship with you open then he's protecting himself from the danger and hurt."
Danny nods his head and rests a hand on my arm. "That's what he told me, eventually. He's so afraid of being sold on, terrified of it. I meant what I said, but it would take some major fuck up on his part for me to sell him. He seems to think that anything, even a minor misdemeanour would see him put out. Even talking to me about that fear had him worrying I was going to turn on him. Poor fucking kid. I made him tell me everything. He ended up crying himself to exhaustion, I had to get him lie down and rest."
"I think he needed to let it out," I say in thought. "Maybe now he can start being himself again. He's had us all worried."
"Apart from me," Danny says bitterly. "Fuck Steve, what kind of Master am I that I didn't take notice of the signs? I thought he was okay. I ignored that you were trying to tell me he wasn't."
"Don't Danny, don't blame yourself," I shake my head at him. "He hid it well. He's like two different people. The way he's acted around the rest of us is completely different to how he acts when you are around. Grace is the one way we could get him to connect again."
Danny looks at me and gives a small smile. "That's why you've been encouraging him to spend time with her?"
I shrug my shoulders, "She's not a slave and she's a child. We all love her and he knows he can freely allow any feelings of care and protection for her to exist, without fear of being punished for it. She gives her love freely without care of who we are or our status because she doesn't know any different."
"Fuck baby this is one hell of a mess," Danny sighs. "I thought we'd have moved on from it all now."
"We are, we have," I tell him. "It's just some of us are a little battered and broken from the experience. Maui needs to understand there's different ways of loving people. I think what happened with Kono means no matter what the temptation he would never enter into such a relationship again. He just needs to learn he can be close in different ways."
"I think what happened with Kono is partly my fault," Danny sighs and shakes his head. "He'd already had a glimpse into the kind of pleasure that can be gained in a physical encounter with someone. I showed him that. Maybe he couldn't resist the pull, the need of it and when Kono offerred it to him he simply couldn't say no."
I press my lips together and don't say anything. We've not spoken of Danny's fucking Maui since it happened but I still remember that night vividly. How it made me feel, how jealous I was and so angry at him. Danny senses my attitude to the subject and mutters out a quick 'sorry' to me for bringing up old memories.
"He should be okay, now that we've talked about it," Danny sighs, changing the subject and looking back over at Maui. "Would you mind sleeping in his room tonight? I think he needs me more than I've realised these last few weeks. I've been carrying a grudge against him because of what happened. He isn't stupid, he's sensed it and it hasn't done anything to ease his mind or help him move on. I think I need to spend some time with him and right now he just needs to know I'm there for him no matter what's gone on."
I feel a stab of jealousy dart through me at the idea and Danny sees it. I can't help it, there's a history there no matter if it were one fleeting moment between the two of them. He places a hand on my arm and gives me a knowing smile.
"Steve," he says teasingly. "Please?"
I give a nod because it isn't like I can rightly refuse his request. And I trust nothing will happen, no matter how much right Danny has to fuck Maui again if he wanted too.
"Yes, of course," I shrug in agreement and he pulls me in for a quick kiss.
"Go on, go to bed, it's getting late," he chides me gently, giving me a small push and pinch on my ass as I leave.
~
I wake early the next morning and with no Danny to keep me in bed I get up and dressed before making my way through the house. Kame has always been an early riser and the breakfast is already being prepared, I make myself a coffee and pick at the bacon before he chases me off wielding a wooden spoon. I divert to the nursery to see if Grace is awake and find her curled in Maui's arms as he reads to her from a book.
Spying me she smiles and wriggles in Maui's arms, pointing at the book like she's explaining to me that it's her start to the day. Maui's smiles sheepishly as he rocks her on his lap, turning the pages.
"I heard her stirring," he explains. "But it's a little early for breakfast."
"Yeah, Kamekona has just chased me out of the kitchen," I smile with a nod, going over to them to drop a kiss into Grace's hair. "Morning baby girl."
I put a hand on Maui's shoulder and give it a squeeze of reassurance. "Everything okay with you?"
"It will be," Maui nods back at me. "You were right Steve, I should have trusted him more."
"You've come through a lot the last few months Maui. You're allowed to feel hurt and upset because of it all," I explain to him. "Danny doesn't expect us to be mindless, unfeeling, emotionless drones. He doesn't want that from us."
"I know. It's just," he starts, sidetracked by Grace as she grabs at the pages of the book. He turns the page and lets her point to things before looking at me again. "I don't feel I deserve the second chance Steve. Kono hadn't done anything wrong until - what happened between us happened. I shouldn't be here. It isn't fair. None of it is."
"No, none of it is Maui," I agree shaking my head. "But Danny had his reasons for keeping you and selling her on. There's a reason he keeps giving you chances, because he sees something in you. Something maybe even you don't see. Kono, she's been with other families, Danny wasn't her first owner and perhaps it will be her life that she moves from family to family. It's just the way life is for some slaves. It was the same way for me until Danny bought me. But you, you're lucky, because Danny bought you fresh off the market and life here, with him as your Master, you should treasure that like a gift. You've been here long enough to see Danny doesn't buy and sell slaves on a whim. He brings them into this house to be part of the family."
"Everybody deserves a second chance," Danny interrupts from the doorway of the bedroom.
Grace starts bouncing at the sound of his voice, impressed she's being visited by so many people so early on in the day. Danny walks over to us with a casual smile, bending down to pinch Grace's cheek and press a kiss to my lips. Danny turns his focus to Maui and reaches out to brush a hand against his cheek.
"You may not feel you deserve that chance," Danny explains to him. "But that's the lucky thing about being your Master, you've no choice but to take it."
Maui smiles as Grace reaches up to grab at Danny's fingers, making babbling noises at him.
"I smell bacon," Danny declares, pulling Grace gently out of Maui's arms to lift her up with him as he stand straight. "Come on, lets get breakfast."
We arrive to find everyone sitting down to begin breakfast and we take our seats. Kamekona, as usual, has lain out a mini feast of breakfast stuffs and it doesn't take long for plates to be filled. Grace sits making a mess of her food and keeping everyone amused by her antics as Kamekona tries to feed her scrambled egg. I look around at the others, it's still strange to be without Kono but that's the way it is sometimes, you learn to adjust. As for the rest of us, we're all happy, joking with each other, discussing the things to be done for the day as Danny half reads the paper and tries to keep up with all of us. This is my life and it's good, sometimes it gets fucked up a little, sometimes we make mistakes and have to live with the consequences.
But along the way sometimes you get lucky and find your Ohana.
~ fin ~