You Really Got A Hold On Me
I don't know why I can't let go of people from my past. One minute I hate them, the other I'm wondering how they're doing and then go bananas that I can't stalk them on the internet! Sounds really unhealthy I know. But I have this serious problem of wanting to please every single person I come across for life!
There is this new feature on myspace's home page called "People you may know" which drives me insane. First of all, if you're on my myspace we know each other. There should've been all the cross references ever needed in the past 2 or 3 years I've had the damn page. Chances are you're on my page because we're friends already. But I hate that there are people who I don't care for, or am finished with that keep showing up because my people know their people and so forth. Seeing her face on my home page makes my blood boil and I just want to delete my account in a fit of childishness!
But, there is a small ember that burns for that bit of information that she's doing alright. Or doing absolutely wrong. I could use either one. So, seeing them on the page like that only gets me pissed off that I have to confront a demon I've had on the shelf. Just for a moment in time I said I was totally done with you, there you are, thanks to the wonders of technology.
I had to turn the computer off a little bit ago to stop myself from writing a small how are you message to her. And to him for that matter. I don't deal very well with Pandora's box. Once the genie is out of the bottle I have to go through the dramatic shoving him back into the lamp while having to deal with Paul and everyone else. My ego gets bruised and then its back to Camp Wannahangyourself.
Tomorrow is another day. Fortunately its the start of my new work schedule and I'll finally get 3 day weekends. I'm starting a 4x10 shift from 8-7, monday through thursday. My new schedule is going to be beyond busy since I am going back to the regular call center. No more texts, late nights, or sleepy lunches. Its going to be busy, busy, busy...
Right now I can't help but want to play with fire. I think its time to get to bed!
There is this new feature on myspace's home page called "People you may know" which drives me insane. First of all, if you're on my myspace we know each other. There should've been all the cross references ever needed in the past 2 or 3 years I've had the damn page. Chances are you're on my page because we're friends already. But I hate that there are people who I don't care for, or am finished with that keep showing up because my people know their people and so forth. Seeing her face on my home page makes my blood boil and I just want to delete my account in a fit of childishness!
But, there is a small ember that burns for that bit of information that she's doing alright. Or doing absolutely wrong. I could use either one. So, seeing them on the page like that only gets me pissed off that I have to confront a demon I've had on the shelf. Just for a moment in time I said I was totally done with you, there you are, thanks to the wonders of technology.
I had to turn the computer off a little bit ago to stop myself from writing a small how are you message to her. And to him for that matter. I don't deal very well with Pandora's box. Once the genie is out of the bottle I have to go through the dramatic shoving him back into the lamp while having to deal with Paul and everyone else. My ego gets bruised and then its back to Camp Wannahangyourself.
Tomorrow is another day. Fortunately its the start of my new work schedule and I'll finally get 3 day weekends. I'm starting a 4x10 shift from 8-7, monday through thursday. My new schedule is going to be beyond busy since I am going back to the regular call center. No more texts, late nights, or sleepy lunches. Its going to be busy, busy, busy...
Right now I can't help but want to play with fire. I think its time to get to bed!