don't get me wrong, I had a good time today, but....
I miss seattle. I want to go home.
I had fun today here in Spokane, but it's been draining. It's hard to try to become apart of a way of life that's separated from your own, and do it on someone else's terms. I don't know how to move about here, I don't know where to go for food, I don't have any history here, and I don't really know hardly anybody here... I'm a total spectator. It's hard for me to do nothing, because it inevitably leads to thinking about and dweling on life elsewhere - places that are familiar and comfortable.
It's hard to esacape that trap, and to try to be present with where I'm at, and like I said it's incredibly draining. To listen to people talk about their lives and experiences that have little linkage to the happenings of my own, or to go places and to observe locations and things and recon with the idea that they have had an impact and history so far from my existence... I loose interest. I don't like being a spectator.
I know, I do it all the time in Seattle... but I guess in seattle I have the option to not be one, whereas here I'm just a tourist.
Anyway, today's progression was this: I went to a "punk rock" yard sale with my little brother, met up with Amy, went to see The Hulk (good up until the last 15-30 min, or any part with nick noltie), went back to Amy's friend's house and sat around and enjoyed a TV party. As with pretty much all gatherings of new people, I quickly developed a crush on a person, and then proceeded to act intentionally aloof. yeah, I'm a lady killer. They dig the short balding awkward kid.
I had fun today here in Spokane, but it's been draining. It's hard to try to become apart of a way of life that's separated from your own, and do it on someone else's terms. I don't know how to move about here, I don't know where to go for food, I don't have any history here, and I don't really know hardly anybody here... I'm a total spectator. It's hard for me to do nothing, because it inevitably leads to thinking about and dweling on life elsewhere - places that are familiar and comfortable.
It's hard to esacape that trap, and to try to be present with where I'm at, and like I said it's incredibly draining. To listen to people talk about their lives and experiences that have little linkage to the happenings of my own, or to go places and to observe locations and things and recon with the idea that they have had an impact and history so far from my existence... I loose interest. I don't like being a spectator.
I know, I do it all the time in Seattle... but I guess in seattle I have the option to not be one, whereas here I'm just a tourist.
Anyway, today's progression was this: I went to a "punk rock" yard sale with my little brother, met up with Amy, went to see The Hulk (good up until the last 15-30 min, or any part with nick noltie), went back to Amy's friend's house and sat around and enjoyed a TV party. As with pretty much all gatherings of new people, I quickly developed a crush on a person, and then proceeded to act intentionally aloof. yeah, I'm a lady killer. They dig the short balding awkward kid.