mini/liv: sour in the summer heat (oneshot, pg)
Title: Sour in the Summer Heat
Pairing/Characters: Mini McGuinness/Liv Malone
Summary: She laughs quietly and Mini imagines the air is so thick it swallows the sound, leaving the room caked in silence. She imagines it also swallows her thoughts, the ones she doesn't want Liv to know about, that she takes and tucks behind her eyelids, only entertaining them when the moon's shining through the window, casting shadows on the walls.
Rating: pg
Word Count: 2,400
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, the characters or anything related, although Jamie Brittain thinks I'm "Charming." Title from The Hush Sound's "Crawling Towards the Sun."
Author's Note: written the ladyloves comment ficathon prompt i like it when you talk about love, you always were my favorite drug, even when we used to take drugs.
Mini rolls over, kicking her feet in the air, elbows on brand new bubblegum pink duvet, cheeks in palm, fingers spread over skin. She feels flushed and hot, sweat causing her top to stick between her shoulder blades, fringe sticking to her forehead. The curtains sway in almost nonexistent breeze, the window propped open with a stick Liv found in the neighbor's garden.
It's summer, early august, the school year's approaching and Mini feels it heavy in her bones the same way the heat is heavy on her skin. It feels like there's something caught in her throat, itching, but she can't get it out no matter how many times she coughs and hits her chest.
Liv's spread out on the carpet flipping through a fashion magazine, dog-earing pages she likes. There's a half-smoked spliff next to her.
Mini glances down at it, says, "If that stains the carpet my mum's gonna kill us."
"You," Liv corrects, not bothering to look up, but she's smiling now.
"I would definitely say it was you."
Liv rolls her eyes, flipping the page and humming to herself. "That's not very friendly of you."
"Whatever," Mini huffs. She turns and lays on her back, following the cracks in her ceiling, watches where they disappear by the wardrobe. "My mum has a new boyfriend."
"Is he as much of an arsehole as the last one?"
"Worse." Mini closes her eyes, tries to feel the air circulating around the room. She's pretty sure she's going to drop dead from heatstroke soon. "At least the one before only lasted two weeks."
"How long has this bloke been around?" Liv asks, and Mini can tell she cares now, is paying attention to the conversation even if her words are slowed by the weed. It makes something in Mini's stomach stir, tighten. That's been happening a lot lately, ever since Liv had that fight with her mum at the beginning of the summer and then had that fight with Mini about it and kissed that boy down the street who got into Cambridge. "It can't be more than a month."
"Three weeks." Mini lets her eyes flutter shut, heavy and tired. "Do you think spliff helps people sleep in the heat?"
"Maybe." A beat. Liv exhales, "Lightweight." She laughs quietly and Mini imagines the air is so thick it swallows the sound, leaving the room caked in silence. She imagines it also swallows her thoughts, the ones she doesn't want Liv to know about, that she takes and tucks behind her eyelids, only entertaining them when the moon's shining through the window, casting shadows on the walls.
Liv's her best friend. Liv's her best friend and she's a girl and Mini's a girl and she won't think about that now. "Do you think my mum's loved any of them?"
There's the rustle of the magazine and then the bed dips. Mini squints, opening one eye and seeing Liv look down at her, her hair falling around her face. If Liv's hair was longer it could curtain around Mini's face too, touch the bed and keep the two of them locked into something, blocking the daylight. "I dunno. Maybe. She definitely likes a good fuck. Or an average one."
Mini twists her mouth into a frown and scrunches up her noise, knitting her eyebrows together. "Ew. Don't."
"Sorry." Liv reaches out and Mini can sense how close she is, feel Liv's fingertips tracing the line of her arm. "Maybe your mum does love them all."
Mini shakes her head. "If she loves them all she's easier and stupider than I thought."
Liv says, "Maybe love doesn't matter."
Mini closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. It's quiet for a long time and she feels Liv's fingertips brush against her shoulder, feels them moving over her hair as Liv lightly traces around her head, sees the shadow off her arm behind her eyelids. When the pads accidentally tickle the underside of her knee Mini stiffens, concentrates on breathing and stillness. She feels as though her heart is hammering against her ribs, sharp, like her ribs could puncture the muscle.
When Liv finishes Mini opens her eyes, thinks maybe the sun slipped behind a cloud because the room seems darker now. "Do you believe that?"
"What?" Liv bites her lip and Mini blinks, swallows.
"That love doesn't matter." Her voice comes out strained and quiet. She coughs, hoping Liv will think it's just something lodged in her throat, think it's the heat stuck there and not the proximity, not the idea of Liv's fingers on her skin, spread out on her ribcage filling in the gaps, feeling her heart beating and assuring her it's going to be okay even if it's not. Making her feel okay even if she shouldn't.
Liv pauses, looks at her carefully and Mini closes her eyes again, feels too exposed. Liv says, "No."
And when Mini opens her eyes Liv is smiling softly, and then she's leaning down. Panic rises in Mini's chest, more suffocating than the heat, more suffocating than when she can't fall asleep because she keeps thinking about the curve of Liv's hip and the jut of her collarbone and the the freckles on her nose. She feels like she might cry and she turns her head at the last second, blinks the tears away as she looks at the bedpost, feels Liv's lips land on her cheek, still a little sticky with the lip gloss.
Then Liv's laughing, the low, vibrant kind of laugh that makes other people join in, that makes Mini smile. She smears her mouth over Mini's cheek then, obvious and annoying, licking down Mini's face before flopping down on her back.
Mini wipes at her cheek and sighs dramatically. "God, Liv, you're an idiot."
"Takes one to know one."
Liv shakes a plastic bag causing the little white pills jiggling around, taunting. Mini squints up at her, the setting sun forming a halo around her head. Mini wants to ask what kind of pills they are but worries if she knows she won't be able to hide how much she doesn't want to take them, worries she'll seem prudish for not already knowing. She snaps, "What?"
"Come on, Mini," Liv says, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Mini shakes her head, tries to smile. "The sun's blinding me."
Liv tilts her head and turns to the window, hands on her hips before stepping forward and yanking the curtains shut. When she looks back at Mini she's grinning and her eyes are glinting, bright and wide. "Time to relax, yeah?"
Mini remembers how the teachers would talk about peer pressure and drugs, thinks she should say no, make up some excuse about how she'll vomit up her supper or how her head aches and she's not in the mood, but Liv smells like honey and flowers and it's still unbearably hot. "Okay." She repeats it, saying, "Okay." Louder this time, her voice steady as though she's sure.
Liv plops down next to her, elbow hitting Mini's arm as she opens the bag and digs a pill out. It looks so small in her palm. Mini thinks that makes it scarier. She asks, "What are you going to take it with?"
She shrugs. "I didn't bring alcohol or anything. Do you think I could swallow it dry?"
"No!" It comes out too quick, hurried and frazzled as Mini bolts up, kicking the leg of the bed and biting her lip hard to stop from yelping in pain. "I'll, I'll get us water."
Mini hobbles down the stairs, gritting her teeth as the pounding in her foot fades until it's a gentle throbbing. She grabs two glasses from the cupboard and fills them from the faucet before going to the fridge and grabbing an ice tray, whacking it against the counter to break out a few cubes and plopping them into the glasses. She watches the ice bob and then float just below the surface. She thinks that's how she feels, like she can't drown and she can't break the surface so she's stuck just beneath, treading water and hoping nobody else notices, hoping no one's watching her too closely.
She grabs the glasses, condensation wetting her palms, and takes them upstairs. When she opens the door Liv is lounging on her bed, sandals kicked onto the floor, back against the headboard. "Mini?"
"Yeah?"
She hands Liv her glass, watches the line of Liv's throat as she takes a few gulps before reaching over and grabbing the pill from the nightstand, placing it carefully on her tongue before taking another sip of water and swallowing. "Is your mum still seeing that one bloke?"
Mini sighs, sitting down on the edge of her bed and crossing her legs like a pretzel. "Yeah. He slept over last night. I only got a few hours of sleep."
Liv cringes. "Sorry."
Mini shrugs, wrapping both her palms around her own glass, looking down at the way her fingers overlap, the drops of condensation sliding down and hitting her skin. "Whatever. He's bald. She'll get over him soon or he'll dump her for a zero and she'll find someone knew to fuck."
"Or maybe he's not that bad. Maybe she loves him."
Mini lets the words hover between them for a moment, worrying her lip between her teeth before shaking her head and letting her mouth bend into a small smile. She wipes her hand on her shorts and reaches out, palm up. Liv blinks, confused, before her face registers understanding and she grabs a pill. She sets her glass on the nightstand and shuffles forward on her knees, sitting right in front of Mini.
"Open."
Mini rolls her eyes but listens, sticking her tongue out and letting Liv set the pill down. She waits a few moments to make sure Liv's hand is gone before she gulps down half of her water along with the drug. "I think, maybe, my mum doesn't know how to love anything."
Liv frowns, splays her palms on Mini's knees. They're warm and soft on Mini's dry skin. "I don't think that's it."
"Why not?"
Liv says, "She loves you."
Mini huffs and relaxes her shoulders, starting to feel the world go hazy around the edges, almost like she's tipsy. "Maybe."
"Yes."
And this time Mini doesn't have time to process the increased pressure on her knees, the tighter grip of Liv's palms as she's pushing forward and kissing Mini. Mini stills, hand gripping the half empty glass between her legs, the water sloshing up the sides and spilling over.
Mini's fingers slip around the neck of the bottle and she laughs, the sound harsh. She hears it echoing in her own head. The heatwave broke a few days ago and they're celebrating, the windows of Liv's bedroom, this time, still open to let in the cool night air, the stars littering the sky, dark blue instead of black. Her curtains are thrown back and billowing and Mini feels lighter than she has in months, anxiety carefully shelved somewhere to be taken out later. She takes a large gulp of alcohol, grimaces as it burns down her throat. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and hands the bottle back to Liv.
"They broke up."
"Huh?" Liv takes a sip before reaching over and putting the bottle onto her desk.
"They broke up. My mum and that guy, Roger or something." Mini waves her hand around dismissively. "He dumped her. She spent a night crying in bed gorging on ice cream before running extra miles the rest of the week."
"I'm sorry." Liv's words are slurred as her head drops onto Mini's shoulder, her hair tickling Mini's neck and collarbone.
Mini lets her eyes droop shut, reaches out and fumbles for Liv's hand, finding it and carefully pressing their hands together so they line up. Liv's hand is slightly larger and it makes Mini feel safe. She laces their fingers together and squeezes, just once. She thinks that's enough. "It's okay. She didn't love him."
Liv tucks her head into Mini's neck, her breath warm against cool skin. Mini can feel her lips move when she asks, "How do you know?"
"I dunno. Just do." She squeezes their hands together again to punctuate the point. "Your head is heavy."
Liv laughs into her neck and Mini laughs, too, feels it bubble up her throat and out of her mouth, feels it as though it starts in her heart, as though instead of pumping blood it's pumping laughter, languid and sure and strong.
It's quiet when they both exhale together. Liv lifts her head and Mini opens her eyes, looks at the twist of her smile, how dilated her eyes are. She reaches out and touches a freckle on Liv's nose, then one on her cheek. Mini lets her fingertips jump from one to the next, randomly brushing over them, trying to find a pattern but coming up with none.
"It's quiet," She says.
Liv smiles wider, agrees.
This time Mini kisses Liv first, moving in slowly at first, looking at Liv's eyes and then her mouth before kissing her quick, soft. Mini kisses her first but Liv's still the one who has to deepen it, hand curving around Mini's neck and pulling her closer. Mini closes her eyes and wonders if Liv knows how much she's wanted this, how much she's thought about it, how it feels full of promises she's not sure she knows how to keep even if she wants to, even if she wants to freeze this moment, stay here forever with one hand settled on Liv's hip and the other cupping her cheek.
When Liv pulls away she keeps her hand on Mini's neck, the other on the inside of her thigh, and Mini thinks if she were sober she'd want to run away now, doesn't know if it'd take more courage to stay or to leave. Liv says, "I do, you know."
"You do what?" Mini whispers, feeling dizzy, pretty sure it's not from the alcohol but all the kissing.
"Love you. You're my best friend."
Something swells in Mini's chest and she tightens her grip on Liv's hip, refuses to name it. Liv's thumb brushes over the skin on her thigh and Mini's eyes flutter shut for a moment and she inhales sharply before looking at Liv, eyes wide, smile large, lipstick smudged. She slurs out, quickly, "Me too, yeah, me too."
Pairing/Characters: Mini McGuinness/Liv Malone
Summary: She laughs quietly and Mini imagines the air is so thick it swallows the sound, leaving the room caked in silence. She imagines it also swallows her thoughts, the ones she doesn't want Liv to know about, that she takes and tucks behind her eyelids, only entertaining them when the moon's shining through the window, casting shadows on the walls.
Rating: pg
Word Count: 2,400
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, the characters or anything related, although Jamie Brittain thinks I'm "Charming." Title from The Hush Sound's "Crawling Towards the Sun."
Author's Note: written the ladyloves comment ficathon prompt i like it when you talk about love, you always were my favorite drug, even when we used to take drugs.
Mini rolls over, kicking her feet in the air, elbows on brand new bubblegum pink duvet, cheeks in palm, fingers spread over skin. She feels flushed and hot, sweat causing her top to stick between her shoulder blades, fringe sticking to her forehead. The curtains sway in almost nonexistent breeze, the window propped open with a stick Liv found in the neighbor's garden.
It's summer, early august, the school year's approaching and Mini feels it heavy in her bones the same way the heat is heavy on her skin. It feels like there's something caught in her throat, itching, but she can't get it out no matter how many times she coughs and hits her chest.
Liv's spread out on the carpet flipping through a fashion magazine, dog-earing pages she likes. There's a half-smoked spliff next to her.
Mini glances down at it, says, "If that stains the carpet my mum's gonna kill us."
"You," Liv corrects, not bothering to look up, but she's smiling now.
"I would definitely say it was you."
Liv rolls her eyes, flipping the page and humming to herself. "That's not very friendly of you."
"Whatever," Mini huffs. She turns and lays on her back, following the cracks in her ceiling, watches where they disappear by the wardrobe. "My mum has a new boyfriend."
"Is he as much of an arsehole as the last one?"
"Worse." Mini closes her eyes, tries to feel the air circulating around the room. She's pretty sure she's going to drop dead from heatstroke soon. "At least the one before only lasted two weeks."
"How long has this bloke been around?" Liv asks, and Mini can tell she cares now, is paying attention to the conversation even if her words are slowed by the weed. It makes something in Mini's stomach stir, tighten. That's been happening a lot lately, ever since Liv had that fight with her mum at the beginning of the summer and then had that fight with Mini about it and kissed that boy down the street who got into Cambridge. "It can't be more than a month."
"Three weeks." Mini lets her eyes flutter shut, heavy and tired. "Do you think spliff helps people sleep in the heat?"
"Maybe." A beat. Liv exhales, "Lightweight." She laughs quietly and Mini imagines the air is so thick it swallows the sound, leaving the room caked in silence. She imagines it also swallows her thoughts, the ones she doesn't want Liv to know about, that she takes and tucks behind her eyelids, only entertaining them when the moon's shining through the window, casting shadows on the walls.
Liv's her best friend. Liv's her best friend and she's a girl and Mini's a girl and she won't think about that now. "Do you think my mum's loved any of them?"
There's the rustle of the magazine and then the bed dips. Mini squints, opening one eye and seeing Liv look down at her, her hair falling around her face. If Liv's hair was longer it could curtain around Mini's face too, touch the bed and keep the two of them locked into something, blocking the daylight. "I dunno. Maybe. She definitely likes a good fuck. Or an average one."
Mini twists her mouth into a frown and scrunches up her noise, knitting her eyebrows together. "Ew. Don't."
"Sorry." Liv reaches out and Mini can sense how close she is, feel Liv's fingertips tracing the line of her arm. "Maybe your mum does love them all."
Mini shakes her head. "If she loves them all she's easier and stupider than I thought."
Liv says, "Maybe love doesn't matter."
Mini closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. It's quiet for a long time and she feels Liv's fingertips brush against her shoulder, feels them moving over her hair as Liv lightly traces around her head, sees the shadow off her arm behind her eyelids. When the pads accidentally tickle the underside of her knee Mini stiffens, concentrates on breathing and stillness. She feels as though her heart is hammering against her ribs, sharp, like her ribs could puncture the muscle.
When Liv finishes Mini opens her eyes, thinks maybe the sun slipped behind a cloud because the room seems darker now. "Do you believe that?"
"What?" Liv bites her lip and Mini blinks, swallows.
"That love doesn't matter." Her voice comes out strained and quiet. She coughs, hoping Liv will think it's just something lodged in her throat, think it's the heat stuck there and not the proximity, not the idea of Liv's fingers on her skin, spread out on her ribcage filling in the gaps, feeling her heart beating and assuring her it's going to be okay even if it's not. Making her feel okay even if she shouldn't.
Liv pauses, looks at her carefully and Mini closes her eyes again, feels too exposed. Liv says, "No."
And when Mini opens her eyes Liv is smiling softly, and then she's leaning down. Panic rises in Mini's chest, more suffocating than the heat, more suffocating than when she can't fall asleep because she keeps thinking about the curve of Liv's hip and the jut of her collarbone and the the freckles on her nose. She feels like she might cry and she turns her head at the last second, blinks the tears away as she looks at the bedpost, feels Liv's lips land on her cheek, still a little sticky with the lip gloss.
Then Liv's laughing, the low, vibrant kind of laugh that makes other people join in, that makes Mini smile. She smears her mouth over Mini's cheek then, obvious and annoying, licking down Mini's face before flopping down on her back.
Mini wipes at her cheek and sighs dramatically. "God, Liv, you're an idiot."
"Takes one to know one."
Liv shakes a plastic bag causing the little white pills jiggling around, taunting. Mini squints up at her, the setting sun forming a halo around her head. Mini wants to ask what kind of pills they are but worries if she knows she won't be able to hide how much she doesn't want to take them, worries she'll seem prudish for not already knowing. She snaps, "What?"
"Come on, Mini," Liv says, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Mini shakes her head, tries to smile. "The sun's blinding me."
Liv tilts her head and turns to the window, hands on her hips before stepping forward and yanking the curtains shut. When she looks back at Mini she's grinning and her eyes are glinting, bright and wide. "Time to relax, yeah?"
Mini remembers how the teachers would talk about peer pressure and drugs, thinks she should say no, make up some excuse about how she'll vomit up her supper or how her head aches and she's not in the mood, but Liv smells like honey and flowers and it's still unbearably hot. "Okay." She repeats it, saying, "Okay." Louder this time, her voice steady as though she's sure.
Liv plops down next to her, elbow hitting Mini's arm as she opens the bag and digs a pill out. It looks so small in her palm. Mini thinks that makes it scarier. She asks, "What are you going to take it with?"
She shrugs. "I didn't bring alcohol or anything. Do you think I could swallow it dry?"
"No!" It comes out too quick, hurried and frazzled as Mini bolts up, kicking the leg of the bed and biting her lip hard to stop from yelping in pain. "I'll, I'll get us water."
Mini hobbles down the stairs, gritting her teeth as the pounding in her foot fades until it's a gentle throbbing. She grabs two glasses from the cupboard and fills them from the faucet before going to the fridge and grabbing an ice tray, whacking it against the counter to break out a few cubes and plopping them into the glasses. She watches the ice bob and then float just below the surface. She thinks that's how she feels, like she can't drown and she can't break the surface so she's stuck just beneath, treading water and hoping nobody else notices, hoping no one's watching her too closely.
She grabs the glasses, condensation wetting her palms, and takes them upstairs. When she opens the door Liv is lounging on her bed, sandals kicked onto the floor, back against the headboard. "Mini?"
"Yeah?"
She hands Liv her glass, watches the line of Liv's throat as she takes a few gulps before reaching over and grabbing the pill from the nightstand, placing it carefully on her tongue before taking another sip of water and swallowing. "Is your mum still seeing that one bloke?"
Mini sighs, sitting down on the edge of her bed and crossing her legs like a pretzel. "Yeah. He slept over last night. I only got a few hours of sleep."
Liv cringes. "Sorry."
Mini shrugs, wrapping both her palms around her own glass, looking down at the way her fingers overlap, the drops of condensation sliding down and hitting her skin. "Whatever. He's bald. She'll get over him soon or he'll dump her for a zero and she'll find someone knew to fuck."
"Or maybe he's not that bad. Maybe she loves him."
Mini lets the words hover between them for a moment, worrying her lip between her teeth before shaking her head and letting her mouth bend into a small smile. She wipes her hand on her shorts and reaches out, palm up. Liv blinks, confused, before her face registers understanding and she grabs a pill. She sets her glass on the nightstand and shuffles forward on her knees, sitting right in front of Mini.
"Open."
Mini rolls her eyes but listens, sticking her tongue out and letting Liv set the pill down. She waits a few moments to make sure Liv's hand is gone before she gulps down half of her water along with the drug. "I think, maybe, my mum doesn't know how to love anything."
Liv frowns, splays her palms on Mini's knees. They're warm and soft on Mini's dry skin. "I don't think that's it."
"Why not?"
Liv says, "She loves you."
Mini huffs and relaxes her shoulders, starting to feel the world go hazy around the edges, almost like she's tipsy. "Maybe."
"Yes."
And this time Mini doesn't have time to process the increased pressure on her knees, the tighter grip of Liv's palms as she's pushing forward and kissing Mini. Mini stills, hand gripping the half empty glass between her legs, the water sloshing up the sides and spilling over.
Mini's fingers slip around the neck of the bottle and she laughs, the sound harsh. She hears it echoing in her own head. The heatwave broke a few days ago and they're celebrating, the windows of Liv's bedroom, this time, still open to let in the cool night air, the stars littering the sky, dark blue instead of black. Her curtains are thrown back and billowing and Mini feels lighter than she has in months, anxiety carefully shelved somewhere to be taken out later. She takes a large gulp of alcohol, grimaces as it burns down her throat. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and hands the bottle back to Liv.
"They broke up."
"Huh?" Liv takes a sip before reaching over and putting the bottle onto her desk.
"They broke up. My mum and that guy, Roger or something." Mini waves her hand around dismissively. "He dumped her. She spent a night crying in bed gorging on ice cream before running extra miles the rest of the week."
"I'm sorry." Liv's words are slurred as her head drops onto Mini's shoulder, her hair tickling Mini's neck and collarbone.
Mini lets her eyes droop shut, reaches out and fumbles for Liv's hand, finding it and carefully pressing their hands together so they line up. Liv's hand is slightly larger and it makes Mini feel safe. She laces their fingers together and squeezes, just once. She thinks that's enough. "It's okay. She didn't love him."
Liv tucks her head into Mini's neck, her breath warm against cool skin. Mini can feel her lips move when she asks, "How do you know?"
"I dunno. Just do." She squeezes their hands together again to punctuate the point. "Your head is heavy."
Liv laughs into her neck and Mini laughs, too, feels it bubble up her throat and out of her mouth, feels it as though it starts in her heart, as though instead of pumping blood it's pumping laughter, languid and sure and strong.
It's quiet when they both exhale together. Liv lifts her head and Mini opens her eyes, looks at the twist of her smile, how dilated her eyes are. She reaches out and touches a freckle on Liv's nose, then one on her cheek. Mini lets her fingertips jump from one to the next, randomly brushing over them, trying to find a pattern but coming up with none.
"It's quiet," She says.
Liv smiles wider, agrees.
This time Mini kisses Liv first, moving in slowly at first, looking at Liv's eyes and then her mouth before kissing her quick, soft. Mini kisses her first but Liv's still the one who has to deepen it, hand curving around Mini's neck and pulling her closer. Mini closes her eyes and wonders if Liv knows how much she's wanted this, how much she's thought about it, how it feels full of promises she's not sure she knows how to keep even if she wants to, even if she wants to freeze this moment, stay here forever with one hand settled on Liv's hip and the other cupping her cheek.
When Liv pulls away she keeps her hand on Mini's neck, the other on the inside of her thigh, and Mini thinks if she were sober she'd want to run away now, doesn't know if it'd take more courage to stay or to leave. Liv says, "I do, you know."
"You do what?" Mini whispers, feeling dizzy, pretty sure it's not from the alcohol but all the kissing.
"Love you. You're my best friend."
Something swells in Mini's chest and she tightens her grip on Liv's hip, refuses to name it. Liv's thumb brushes over the skin on her thigh and Mini's eyes flutter shut for a moment and she inhales sharply before looking at Liv, eyes wide, smile large, lipstick smudged. She slurs out, quickly, "Me too, yeah, me too."