fanmix: falling apart (alice/elliot)
Haha. I don't think I've ever had a fanmix come together the way this one did, and the result is me not quite knowing what I did. It was mostly me having a lot of feelings about Alice and Elliot and wanting them to put their mouths together and being obsessed with them in every possible way. Rewatching the movie and seeing that Elliot is a suddenly violent person who goads and has no filter, but has moments when he genuinely cares about his family, moments that manifest the most in the way he talks about and interacts with Alice. The way he quietly hugs her, folding himself around her when she first shows up, how genuinely happy they are to be together when they get high and "Alice, if you're comfortable," and her answering smile! Beautiful. It would be a bald faced lie if I were to say a huge inspiration wasn't this fic, which is stunning and perfect and my raison d'etre (It is also why St. Vincent's Cruel is here, besides that I think it's perfect). I have read and reread it more times than I would like to admit, thank you very much. While I wouldn't call this a mix for the fic specifically, that fic did help me better understand my feelings on Alice and Elliot as individuals and as siblings who makeout and bang. It's undoubtedly my headcanon now, so it probably did shape how I complied the songs here somehow. Speaking of which, I have no idea why I ordered them the way I did. None. If you can figure out a logic to that besides I thought it sort of flowed--maybe, a little--then good for you.
As always, if you have any questions about the songs I chose, feel free to ask! And I can upload any individual songs you want as well.
eta: I redid the cover, it's not the one in the .zip
01. The Blower's Daugher - Damien Rice
the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky
02. White Chalk - PJ Harvey
white chalk hills are all i've known
white chalk hills will rot my bones
white chalk sticking to my shoes
white chalk playing as a child with you
03. Like O, Like H - Tegan and Sara
i was 8
i was sure, i was growing pain
like lead in my feet
s.o.s. to my mother
take the hinges off the door
04. The Reeling (Calvin Harris Remix) - Passion Pit
look at me, oh look at me
is this the way i've always been, oh no, oh no
05.Death to Death - Stars
i am destroyer, i am lover
and when i kiss i like to smother
06. Devil's Spoke - Laura Marling
the arms that fed and the babes that wed
the backs that bled keeping her in tow
but i am your keeper
and i hold your face away from light
i am yours 'till they come
07. Conversation 16 - The National
i think the kids are in trouble
do not know what all the troubles are for
give them ice for their fevers
you're the only thing i ever want anymore
08. Jesus/Jesus Christ - Brand New
well, Jesus Christ, i'm not scared to die
i'm a little bit scared of what comes after
09. One More Time With Feeling - Regina Spektor
you thought by now you'd be
so much better than you are
you thought by now they'd see
that you had come so far
10. Because - The Bird and the Bee
and when i'm tired, i'm so very tired
and when it's done, it's like i've killed someone
because, because
i'm sick of all the bones you throw
because, because
there's nothing from the seeds you sow
11. Hikikomori - Zola Jesus
secret in the deep dark
secret on the inside
oh i know i'm home
12. Falling Apart - Matt Nathanson
am i no good to you now?
am i no good to you now?
whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
we're spilling over
whoa-oh, whoa-oh whoa-oh
we're falling apart
13. Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars
you only know what i want you to
i know everything you don't want me to
oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
14. Just Like A Woman (Bob Dylan cover) - Charlotte Gainsbourg
you fake just like a woman, yes you do
you make love just like a woman, yes you do
then you ache just like a woman
but you break just like a little girl
15. Fuck Was I - Jenny Owens Young
love tears me up like a demon
opens the wounds and fills them with lead
and i'm having some trouble just breathing
if we weren't such good friends i think that i'd hate you
16. You Know - 8mm
you said it was all for
i thought it was all for
you said it was all for ... me
heart and soul you're mine
flesh and bone you're mine
17. Cruel - St. Vincent
forgive the kids
for they don't know how to live
.zip