nick/miley - it feels like stealing hearts (2/3)
Title: It Feels Like Stealing Hearts
Character/Pairings: Nick/Miley
Summary: Nick still likes Miley. In fact, he is fairly certain he never stopped liking her-- in a strictly platonic way. ( I'm a Modern Girl, But I Fold in Half So Easily from Nick's POV)
Rating: PG (Some language)
Word Count: 9,600
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The title is from All Time Low's Dear Maria, Count Me In. Also, this did not happen.
Other: This was intended as an outtake for this fic, but ended up much longer than I expected. This part corresponds with parts two and three of it. It's probably not necessary to be familiar with the original, but it may help. However, if there is any confusion you can probably refer back to those parts.
ii.
He walks back into the living room where his parents are chatting about the boys' busy schedule and how his mom really wants to repaint their bedroom. His mom smiles at him a little and nods to the couch across from them, finishing her thoughts about maybe painting the walls a blue color and getting a chocolate bedspread. When she’s done she turns to Nick and sighs.
“Nick,” she begins softly, “we're worried about…about you.”
His dad nods along firmly and sits forward, clasping his hands together. “And Miley.”
“What?” Nick chokes out, very confused. “I still have time to do everything. And have friends”
His parents exchange a nervous look and Nick sees his dad's shoulders tense up. They're very quiet for a minute, looking at him closely, thinking about how to word what they have to say . Nick wishes his brothers were here; he can hear them cleaning up in the kitchen, and Nick would give just about anything to have to help with the dishes instead of sitting on this couch.
“Honey,” his mom finally speaks, her voice unwavering, “we're worried about the history that you two share.”
“Huh?” Nick mumbles.
“You and Miley,” she says, keeping eye contact.
“We feel,” his dad continues, his voice sounding much less sympathetic than his mother's, “that maybe your feelings are complicated and that you need to take a step back, think about what people will think.”
Nick's head is spinning; he does not comprehend anything his parents are trying to say. He can feel himself blushing despite his best efforts not to, and he tries to sit up straighter- so that he is more equal to them. “I, no one knows we’re even friends though.”
“Yet,” his dad states coolly, running his hand over his face and looking at Nick's mother like he's a little exasperated and just wants to let Nick go upstairs. His mom looks at his dad seriously and shakes her head slightly.
“Nick, we're not talking about people in general.” His mom takes a deep breath and looks at him again, her eyes unblinking. “We're talking about her family, our family and friends, her…her boyfriend.” Nick notices the disapproving tone his mother's voice takes as she mentions Justin. He's pretty sure she's one of the people who think Justin's too old for Miley, and Nick agrees, but he still feels the need to defend her.
“We're just friends though,” Nick says slowly, scrunching his eyebrows together in thought, wondering if maybe he's really that obvious.
“Right.” His dad stands up and stops when his mom touches his hand lightly. He looks at her briefly before walking into his office.
“Just be careful, okay?” His mom states, her eyes soft and sad; he doesn't want her pity. He doesn't need it.
“I will,” he says, not daring to stand up until his mother does a minute later. He begins to head towards the stairs so he can sit in his room until Joe comes to ask him what this whole conversation was about. He also wants to try his best to forget this ever happened.
“Remember to check your levels,” his mom calls out after him.
Nick just nods his head, not bothering to turn around.
*
They're driving over to the Cyrus house for a barbecue and baseball, and Nick doesn't feel all that excited about it. His parents are acting as normal as they ever do: his mom grinning and talking about how she can’t wait to see how much Noah has grown, and how she has so much catching up to do with Tish. His dad is nodding along, saying he can’t wait to see Billy Ray again and how fun it'll be to beat him during the game. Joe is texting Demi and Nick tries to read over his shoulder, but Joe just keeps moving his phone out of sight and covering it with his hand. Nick can’t decide if they're talking about him or not, he thinks it's probably a bit of both.
Kevin and Danielle are driving separately, and Nick keeps looking out the back window, wishing he were in their car. Then Dani could distract him the way she's so good at doing, helping him calm down. He needs to stop thinking about how maybe his parents will tell Miley's mom and dad that they shouldn’t hang out as much. Nick thinks that's ridiculous since they don’t see each other that often anyway.
He also can’t help thinking about how he does not want to see Justin again. Miley said he’d be there, and Nick just wishes he wouldn’t be. Since when is he part of Miley's family anyway? It's supposed to be their two families getting together--not their two families and Miley's douchebag of a boyfriend.
*
Nick's not one hundred percent invested in this game of baseball. Miley hit herself with the bat her first time up and is sitting on the patio with Justin. Glancing at them every few minutes, Nick can't help but feel sick. They're talking, and Justin's holding her hand, and Miley's giggling; Justin's kissing her cheek and Nick can't really stand this anymore.
Sometimes he worries his plan isn't working fast enough.
Maybe he should hit himself with the baseball bat, so Miley can fuss over him a little and not look so engrossed in whatever Justin is saying. But then she looks across the yard, a strand of hair blowing across her face; she waves at him. Nick doesn't wave back because that would be lame, but he nods his head at her and smiles.
When it's his turn to bat he hears her cheer a little and looks in her direction.
He's going to own this game.
*
His team ends up losing and Nick's really disappointed that Braison seems to suck so much compared to everyone else, but at least Nick scored almost every time he was up to bat. So it was a success. When he says goodbye to Miley he hugs her quickly, trying not to make a big deal out of it since everyone is huddled by the entrance of her house. He's pretty sure it seems normal since he hugs Noah too.
They get home and Nick realizes he didn't ask Miley how her leg was feeling. So he’s worried about her. When Joe barges into Nick’s room, his face unreadable, Nick is pacing back and forth a little, holding his phone and contemplating calling Miley.
“What up, bro?” Joe plops down on his bed, stretching his arms and throwing them behind his head.
“Nothing,” Nick sighs, turning his phone over in his hand.
“You're looking like you have a problem,” Joe says, sitting on Nick's bed and stretching out his legs. “Besides having to live with your face.”
“That's so funny, Joe. Really.” Nick rolls his eyes and sits down on the chair in front of his laptop, turning to his brother and shaking his head. He loves Joe a lot, but whenever Joe comes in trying to look like he's not thinking about anything it usually means he wants to talk about Miley or Demi. And he doesn't have that kind of dazed, happy look he gets after he sees or talks to Demi, so Nick's pretty sure it's about the former.
“Wow, someone's defensive today,” Joe scoffs, laughing quietly.
“I'm just worried about Miley,” Nick says, because Joe already knows- and there is no use denying it anymore- but he corrects himself anyway: “Miley's leg.”
Joe laughs even harder now, louder. “You're such a girl.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Joe begins to text someone- Demi, probably.
“You didn't see the bruise.” Nick knows Joe has a point, but he can't really help it.
“So? It's just a bruise.”
Nick knows that, and he can't really counter Joe when Joe is making sense. But his brother just doesn't understand how complicated things with Miley are, how Justin gets to ice her leg and make her feel better--Nick is still missing out. Things should be going faster with her; she should be dumping Justin, but she still looks at Justin the way Nick remembers her looking at him when they were dating.
He just didn't realize it'd be this hard. He didn't realize how much it would hurt.
“Whatever,” he mumbles, scrolling through his contacts and finding her name.
“Well since you're finally manning up to tell her how much of girl you are, I'm going to go eat something before Demi comes over,” Joe says, pushing himself off the bed and grinning wickedly. “She thinks you’re a big fat girl too.”
Nick rolls his eyes dramatically as Joe shuts the door behind him. He texts Miley quickly, not thinking too much about what he should say. He thinks too much sometimes (and Nick can hardly believe that it's possible to think too much, but apparently he manages to do it).
*
It takes him forever to write Before the Storm- almost two months. And when he's finished, it still isn't perfect; it still feels like something's missing, like it's still totally wrong. He's texting Miley one night and she tells him that she took some NyQuil to help her get to sleep. And the fact that she's hopped up on sleep medication is probably why she texts something that may imply that he's a better kisser than Justin. Especially because she stops responding afterwords and tells him the next day that she was out cold, like she has no recollection of texting that at all.
But it makes him realize, finally, how this game he's playing isn't fun--because it's not really a game. It's not about winning or losing; it's about how he feels, how she feels. It's more like a song he’s writing. So he asks her to collaborate with him, telling her he has the perfect song. He knows she'll be able to make it perfect.
When she comes over to hear it, she nonchalantly asks, “Where are Joe and Kevin,” and Nick knows she thinks this wasn't his idea, that this song isn't just his thing, their thing.
But it is.
“Um, upstairs,” he replies, feeling sort of ridiculous as they walk towards the piano room. He wonders if maybe she won't want to do the song if it's just the two of them.
“Are they coming to play the song for me?”
He's not sure he wants to do this anymore, because her eyes are so big and blue and hopeful, and he's not sure he can take it if she turns him down. Asking her to do the song was nerve-wracking enough. “It's more of uh, just me,” he mumbles, walking into the piano room. “It'd be like, a duet.”
“Oh, cool,” Miley says quietly, her feet seemingly glued to the ground where she's standing.
Nick sits down on the piano bench, taking a deep breath and readying himself. He gently presses down a few of the smooth keys before stopping to look at her. “Aren't you going to sit down?” he asks, hoping she isn't changing her mind about the whole thing already.
“Um.” And then she's sitting next to him on the piano, her thigh pressed next his, and he can feel some fine hairs on her arm brush against his when he places his fingers on the piano again. He double checks his finger position and feels his heart beating quickly. Taking a deep breath, Nick begins to press down the keys, hesitantly at first, but to his surprise it's easier to play with Miley there. He feels the emotions from the song coursing through his veins, like her presence simply makes it so much better, even if she's not doing anything but listening.
He finishes the song with a decrescendo and then looks at Miley, who has her eyes closed. When she opens them they're a shade darker, and Nick's having some trouble thinking, reading the expression on her face. “I was thinking that, um, you could work with it a little and maybe, um, making it sort of like, our story,” he whispers, internally cursing himself for sound like an idiot.
A second later Miley starts to cry, and Nick wraps his arms around her without a thought. Her head is on his shoulder and he can feel her tears drenching through his shirt. She’s sobbing so hard that she's hiccuping a little, trying to breath, and Nick does not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. He rubs circles into her back and tries to comfort her, tries to apologize for whatever is making her tear up. Miley clutches at the fabric of his shirt, and Nick pulls her tighter into his embrace. He wants to make her feel steady, the way that she makes him feel when she smiles at him.
When her tears slow down Miley doesn't let him go and Nick feels like their hearts are beating to the same rhythm. He smells her hair and is really happy she’s still using the same shampoo (if not the same perfume). The new mixture is intoxicating and Nick wants to stay here forever. Things are so simple if they don't think about them, if they don't talk and are just able to be.
Lifting her head, she says, “I'm sorry.” Nick lets her go, even though he doesn't want to.
“I hope it wasn't that bad.” He's trying to joke around, to lighten things up, but his stomach is heavy and his throat is a little dry. A drink of water would do him a lot of good right now.
“No, it was beautiful…and I'd love to sing it with you,” Miley replies, rubbing at her eyes, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up into a smile.
“Do you want to work on it now, or…” Nick asks, feeling very full. His voice is coming back, and he feels so good about where he and Miley are in their friendship. He feels like they've come so far so soon. He can't believe he ever doubted it.
“Play me something else,” she says quickly, sounding so excited.
“Um, sure.” He looks at Miley for a second, hoping she isn't going to cry again. He likes it a lot better when she smiles. He tries to think of something to play for a moment, but his mind if coming up blank. “Any requests?”
She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she thinks about it. A glow reaches her face, a glimmer in her eyes. “Oh!” she exclaims happily, smiling brightly, “Play that song you wrote on the piano. Because I am a genius.”
Nick remembers telling her that when he finished the song, and he feels really weird about playing it for her now. He's done with it, and he really likes it. But he knows she'll probably be able to figure out that it's about her. He's really worried he's going to scare her off. But he'll do it for her; he can't say no. “Oh. Okay.”
He plays the song and looks over at her in the middle of it, her eyes are closed and she's swaying a little, a small smile residing on her mouth. Nick feels better now; he's not sure why Miley isn't freaking out, but he's so glad that she isn't.
When the song comes to an end he raises his eyebrows at her and tries to mask his emotions, hide how much her reaction means to him. Her opinion is one of the few that actually matter. “So?”
Miley's eyes run over his face for a minute and then she says, “I'm a genius.” Her grin is so wide and her eyes are shinning in this really pure, innocent way. Nick fights the urge to give her another hug or run his hand through her hair.
They start working on Before the Storm, and Miley is really hesitant to change anything at first, the freshly sharpened pencil he gives her not being used. Every time she suggests something she asks, “Is that okay?” and he tells her that it is. After a half hour or so she starts singing it with him and really gets into it, altering some of the lyrics, adding a line here or there, asking about note progression and melody. She scribbles all over the page in her large loopy script.
Nick really likes the way their handwritings look together.
*
Opening the door, Nick is beyond surprised to see Miley holding a large stack of DVDs. He thought suggesting that they have a movie night at his house meant they would choose from his DVD collection. And that he wouldn’t be stuck watching a bunch of girly romantic comedies.
“Hey.” She smiles. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and she's wearing a pair of sweatpants he's never seen before.
“Hey,” he says, taking the pile of DVDs from her as she walks in and shuts the door. Flipping through them, Nick is disappointed in her choices, but he can't say he's shocked. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” she says softly, and when Nick looks at her she's looking at him very serenely. He thinks his heart is growing. “So do you.”
“Who said you got to pick the movie anyway?” Nick asks, handing the DVDs back to Miley, frowning a little.
She giggles some, a few strands of hair falling in front of her face as she looks at her feet for a second, kicking her shoes off. “Be a gentleman, Nicky.”
Nick scuffs quietly at that, starting to walk into the living room. He's keenly aware of his parents and Frankie playing Mousetrap in the kitchen. He's pretty sure someone's going to pop in to check on them every half hour or so. “I'm always a gentleman.”
Shaking her head, Miley smiles, flipping through her DVDs and picking one, placing the stack on the table. “We have time for three right? Because I can't choose just one.”
Nick nods his head and grins at her as she goes to the entertainment system, putting the DVD in and grabbing the remotes. She tries to figure it out for a minute and then turns to him, sitting down on the couch and handing him the controls. “Help,” she says simply.
He turns everything on and sighs when the menu for Grease comes up. “Really, Miley?”
“You'll like it better than the other two we're watching,” she says happily, clasping her hands together.
Nick groans and presses play, watching Miley as she settles back into the couch, looking completely content. “What's so great about this movie anyway?”
“What?” she asks him, turning her head, her eyebrows raised.
“What's so great about this movie?”
“I'm sorry, Nick, is that a joke?” Miley pries the remote from his hand and presses pause as Danny and Sandy are on the beach. She places her hand on his shoulder and looks him seriously in the eye. “That better be a joke.”
“No,” Nick says slowly, a little scared of her now. He just never understood the point of Sandy having to change in the end, or why Travolta’s voice is so high sometimes- not that he doesn't give the guy his props. He'd much rather watch cars getting blown up, is all.
“Obviously, if you don’t know, you need to watch the movie again.” Her fingernails scrap lightly down his arm as she lets go of his shoulder and puts her hand in her lap.
“Fine,” he breathes out, wishing he could move his knee away from where it's touching hers. But he thinks it'd be even more awkward if he did, and he's also wondering why Miley hasn't moved her leg away either.
As they watch the movie, Nick still can't pay attention. There's this constant electricity traveling between their knees and Miley's humming along to all of the songs. Occasionally she looks at him and asks if he gets it yet. He just shrugs. He understands that watching her reactions to the movie makes him think about the past and how she's just as adorable as ever. But that's not what she's talking about.
When it's over his mom comes in and they both move their knees away quickly, and Nick feels really stupid and thirteen. His mom doesn't seem to notice though; she just smiles and asks Miley how she is. Miley responds, talking animatedly with her hands. His mom says she's making some popcorn and asks if they want any. They both say yes.
“So you get it now?” Miley asks as his mom leaves, looking very grave. The popcorn bowl is propped in her lap and she shoves one hand in, tossing a few kernels into her mouth.
“Sure,” Nick says, blinking a few times.
Miley sighs dramatically and shakes her head. “I am so sad for you right now that I will let you pick the next movie.”
Looking at her cautiously, he's not sure he actually believes it. She's said that before. And then shot down every single thing he's suggested. But he gets up anyway and goes to the DVD shelf, letting his eyes run over the options. After a minute he feels Miley standing too close and he turns his head, seeing her looking at all of the movies they have. “What?” he asks.
“You're taking too long,” she says, nodding her head up and down a few times for emphasis. Nick can feel her breathing on his neck.
“Sorry…it's a lot of pressure.” He rolls his eyes at her and tries not to read too much into the warm air on his neck. She's just being the way she always is when she's had too much caffeine- he never should have offered her that diet coke.
“Oh, let's watch that one!” She points to his mom's copy of Pride and Prejudice excitedly, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“No.”
“No?” she asks, sounding slightly surprised. “Do you have any better suggestions?”
“Yeah, just about anything else.”
She shakes her head at him and pulls the movie out before he can protest anymore, popping it into the player. Nick sits down next to her and can't help but feel good that Miley's more comfortable around the house now. She's acting like she lives there, and she practically does anyway.
When the movie's over it's getting late and his mom comes in to sit on the couch next to Miley. Nick would complain about how Miley and his mom take five minutes to decide to watch The Notebook, but he's pretty sure his mom would look at him weird and tell him to be nice. He gets through half the movie before catching Joe on his way in and leaving his mom and Miley to their sighing and tears.
“Mom's totally cockblocking you,” Joe says with a smirk. He grabs a soda out of the fridge and cracks it open, listening to the fizz die down.
“They're just watching chick flicks.” Nick shrugs his shoulders.
“Leaving in the middle of the movie is going to make her like you.” Joe rolls his eyes sarcastically and lifts his soda towards the living room.
Nick knows what he means, but he really can't stand any more of those movies. He thinks he has suffered enough. “I'll go back in a few minutes.”
“Alright.” Joe finishes the last of his soda and throws it into the recycling, heading up the stairs and shaking his head at Nick like he's disappointed in him or something.
Miley walks into the kitchen a little while later, yawning. “I think I'm going to head home now.”
“Oh. Okay.” Nick smiles softly at her, glancing at the clock and seeing that it's almost midnight. He suddenly feels much sleepier.
He walks her to the door, hugging her awkwardly as she holds the stack of movies she brought over. “Call me soon,” she says quietly, her eyes burning into his.
“I will.” He opens the door for her and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Bye.”
Her eyes flutter closed for a moment and then she looks at him, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “Bye Nicky.” She walks down the driveway slowly, turning around at the end of it to look at him one last time, tucking the DVDs under her arm so she can wave goodbye. He waves back.
He just really loves her a lot sometimes.
*
Nick rings the doorbell, holding the keys in his hand. He cannot believe he's taking Miley out to lunch. It's something he’d never though he'd ever do again--for a lot of reasons. But mostly, right now, he just wants to do something that will make her happy. Even if it's making his stomach clench and he's thinking about backing out. He's trying to remain steady.
When Miley opens the door she grins widely at him, and he asks if she's ready to go. “Definitely,” she responds, shutting the door behind her as she walks over to his car, getting in and buckling her seatbelt. Nick thinks about how pretty sure looks today, the blue of her shirt bringing out her eyes, the wave in her hair looking so natural and perfect. He's pretty sure he could stare at her for a long, long time. He's also pretty sure he keeps getting lamer and lamer.
“It's really nice,” she says, motioning around at the car.
“Thanks.” Nick puts the key into the ignition, looking over his shoulder. He needs to be very careful with the car. His parents would kill him if anything happened to it, and he'd kill himself if anything happened to Miley.
A comfortable silence fills the air as they go down her driveway, and then Miley's asking if she can turn on the radio. She fiddles with it a little, listening to bits and pieces of various songs, he can sort of see her nodding her head a few times in his peripheral vision. Some country song that sounds vaguely familiar comes out of the radio and Miley sits back. Nick feels himself about to smile.
“What?” Miley asks. Nick really wishes he could see her face, but he's trying his best to concentrate on the road.
“I'm just surprised I guess.”
“Why?”
“I, I don't know.” Shaking his head back and forth a little, Nick tries to think about the last time he heard this song- and is pretty sure he was with Miley when he did. But he can't place it, even though he can usually remember moments by sound and music. It's really strange that he can't this time, but he just lets it be.
“You're so weird sometimes,” Miley says, amusement evident in her voice. “Hey, where are we going for lunch?”
Nick can feel heat rising in his cheeks as he speaks hesitantly, “Um, I was thinking The Village Idiot.”
“Oh.” Miley’s voice sounds odd, and Nick would give anything to see her reaction right now, but he forces himself to stare ahead at the pavement. “We can go somewhere less…crowded, if you want. Or we could even just go to your house.”
“No, it's fine.” Nick shakes his head slightly, noticing his tight grip on the steering wheel he flexes his fingers, trying to relax and not think of what -or who- will be waiting for them at the restaurant. “Unless you don't want to,” he adds, not wanting to force her to do anything.
“I want to,” she says quickly, and Nick can hear the smile in her voice as she laughs a little bit afterwords.
“Okay,” her breathes out, happy that she's onboard. But at the same time, he hates the idea of getting photographed. It's just that he never went out in public with her like this when they were dating before, even though he knows Miley would have loved it. He didn't avoid it because he was ashamed to be seen with her, but sometimes he thinks that she believes that.
He wants to show her that he isn't embarrassed.
Then Miley's arm is rubbing his and Nick slows to a stop at a red light. He is sure this will be worth it.
*
After they order Nick is feeling a bit calmer. All of the cameras flashing in their faces as they walked in had made him feel anxious and annoyed, blinding him as he tried to simply walk into a restaurant. But after a few sips of water he's feeling better, and his burger looks really great, even if Miley's pork sausage smells better.
“How was it rerecording those parts of Before the Storm?” Nick asks. He really wishes he had been able to be there with her. When they were in the studio the first time it was really great. He didn't think it was magical or anything- because that would be really girly of him. He picks up his burger and takes a huge bite out of it now that his stomach has calmed down.
“It was good, I think.” Miley smiles at him with her eyes. “I hope I didn't mess up the song too much.”
“You didn't,” Nick says seriously, hoping she doesn't honestly think that. He watches her chew her food, resting her elbow on the table, her chin in her palm. “I'm sure you did great.”
Miley stares at him for a minute; he begins to feel really weird, but then she's asking, “Can I have a bite of that?”
“The burger?” He feels like a huge idiot when she rolls her eyes. “Oh, sure.” He hands it over to her and she takes it, their fingers brushing slightly.
He watches her take a huge bite and chew dramatically, as though it's the best thing she's ever had. “Want to switch?”
“It took you ten minutes to order and now you want my food?” Nick raises his eyebrows at her.
Miley presses her lips together for a moment. “Yes.” She reaches across the table, putting the burger down on his plate and pulling it away from him, pushing her own plate across the table. “Thanks.” She smiles, picking up the burger again.
“Yeah, yeah.” He shakes his head, but can't fight the grin taking residence over his face. He feels like it practically lives there when he’s around Miley. When he shoves her pork sausage into his mouth it tastes really good, so he’s okay with her taking his food.
He probably would have been okay with it even if the pork sausage sucked.
*
When they get to Miley's he freaks out a little about hitting a car, because he feels like the worst driver ever. “I can't believe they got it on tape,” he groans, thinking about how his dad will want to murder him.
Miley's laugh hits his ears loudly as she says, “It'll be fine, they probably know how nervous I make you.”
“You do not,” Nick responds, slapping her arm a little and leaning his head back against the couch. Girls do not make him nervous, not even ones like Miley, because that would be really girly of him. He can't have that.
“Don't try to deny it. They're probably selling the story to every magazine known to man.”
Nick really doesn't want to think about that. “Ugh, maybe we should have gone someplace else.” He feels like a jerk the minute the words leave his mouth. He sits up and looks at Miley, who's biting her lip and seems a little sad. He hates making her look like that. “I did have a good time though.”
She looks at him for a moment and seems to relax, as though she believes he did a have a good time with her- he always does. “Maybe we should watch a movie?”
“Sounds good,” Nick says. He feels like he needs a distraction. Miley gets up to go look for a movie, asking him what he wants to watch. “I don't care.” Right now he's feeling too tired to care. Sometimes he forgets how much work it is dealing with the paparazzi. He cannot believe Miley deals with them with a smile as often as she does.
She puts something in and sits down next to him on the couch, an inch of space separating their bodies. Nick tries to ignore the urge to sling his arm over the back of the couch and touch her shoulder with his fingertips. The menu comes up and it's The Notebook. He groans, well aware that Miley probably thinks this is hilarious and just wants him to watch the whole thing.
“Don’t,” she whispers sternly,
“I wasn't going to say anything.” He smiles at her, because he was ready to complain.
“Good.”
He watches the first few minutes again, but he's just so tired that his eyelids drift shut. It's really not his fault if the movie isn't that interesting. He falls asleep easily, breathing in Miley's perfume--he notices she's wearing her old kind.
*
Nick starts to wake up, hearing a really grating voice. And opening his eyes, he hears Justin asking, “What's going on?” Nick's not sure what Justin is talking about, but his shoulder feels really warm and Miley's scent is enveloping him.
“I guess we fell asleep,” Miley says, looking over at Nick apologetically. He thinks she shouldn't have to apologize for her boyfriend.
Nick looks at Justin and sees rage echoing in his eyes. “Yeah. Boring movie.” Nick runs a hand through his hair and feels a slight ache in his shoulder; he thinks about how odd that is. Picking up his hat he says, “I'm going to check my levels,” addressing Miley more so than the douchebag.
Nick walks out of the room, hearing the quiet between Miley and Justin because they're probably waiting until he's out of earshot. Nick doesn't really want to know what they're saying anyway. He closes the bathroom door behind him and runs his hands through his hair, trying to make the curls look less flat and disorganized. After a minute he gives up, pricking his finger and reading the monitor. He could eat something (probably because Miley ate the burger and half of the pork sausage), but it's not bad.
He looks in the mirror, blinking a few times, wondering if maybe he should go and see how Miley's doing. Leaving the bathroom, he walks a few feet and gets smacked into when he turns the corner. “Oh god, I'm sorry,” Miley says quickly.
He looks at her for a moment, her hair looking a little frizzy as she nods, some angry color spreading from her cheekbones. “Can I ask you something?”
Miley hesitates for a second. “Um, sure.”
“Why are you with him?” Nick spits out the words before he can think about it anymore. It’s just that Miley's been flirting with him a lot lately, and he can't stand that she's still dating that old jerk.
“What gives you the right to ask me that?” She places her hands firmly on her hips, her breath hitching a little.
“I asked if I could.” It sounds really lame, even to him, but it's the truth.
“God, I mean, you broke up with me, remember? You didn't want me. So, you know what, Justin may be an ass sometimes, but it's not like you're any better. You didn't want me and he does, so you really don't have any right to judge me,” Miley states firmly, turning around quickly.
Nick can't let her go.
He grabs her wrist gently as it swings back, halting her efforts to stomp away. Turning around to look at him again, she yanks her hand away angrily, and Nick just wants to explain everything to her. He has so much to tell her that he can't properly say right now.
“I want you, okay?” he quickly breathes out, because he does. She doesn't even know how much. He moves towards her slowly, watching her reaction intently. She's not trying to run away from him anymore, so he takes that as a good sign. And she looks so flushed and shocked, wide blue orbs, scarlet cheeks, her chest rising and falling. She looks beautiful.
Knowing it doesn’t make any sense at all, he feels like maybe everything would be okay if he just kissed her- like his blood sugar would be perfect if he kissed her. So he grabs her waist and presses his lips to hers, softly, slowly. He tangles a hand in her hair, feeling the knots, rubbing her scalp. His heart is accelerating and this is exactly how he remembers it, but also different: it's so much better. Nick feels like he appreciates her hands tugging at his curls more, the way her mouth moves against his. He already feels better.
“Miley!” Justin's voice shatters everything, and Nick backs away from her quickly, dragging his hand through the maze of tangles in her hair.
He looks at her for a moment, thinking it's probably best if he leaves now. He'd rather not have a black eye. “I'm uh, I’m gonna go.” He's trying his best not to smile at her, but when she looks at him, he really has to fight this elation he's feeling.
“Okay, bye.” She breathes out like there isn't enough air in her lungs, wiping at her lips and running her hand through her hair.
He walks out the door quickly, trying not to skip to his car or something really lame like that. But he feels really full, giddy even. It's hard to believe that just happened, that everything’s falling into place. He sits in the car for a few minutes, tapping a beat into the steering wheel.
Miley texts that she'll call him later.
It's as close to weightless as he's ever felt.
iii.
When Nick gets back to his house he tries to push down the hope radiating from deep within his belly. It's really hard to do. He grabs an apple and some diet coke and settles down on the sofa, flipping through a bunch of stuff on television he doesn't want to watch. He ends up in his room strumming on his guitar for an hour or so, just thinking, just trying not to think.
He eats dinner with his family and begins to think that maybe Miley isn't going to call tonight. He helps his mom with the dishes and everything seems so routine, so ordinary after the day he's had. For the first time during this whole reconnecting with Miley thing Nick wishes Joe was around to talk to. He sent a text to him but hasn't gotten a response, and is pretty much going crazy.
When his phone goes off he's really surprised and looks at the caller ID. It's Miley; his heartbeat immediately becomes irregular. “Hey,” he says, answering her call, walking briskly up the stairs.
There's a beat of silence before she responds softly: “hey.”
“What's up?” Nick asks calmly, kind of surprised by how good he feels. He's not really nervous; he's sure of himself.
“Nothing, you?” Her voice sounds really southern and thick.
Closing the door to his bedroom and flopping down on the sheets, Nick listens to the sound of her steady breathing coming down the line. It slows his heart back down to a normal rhythm. “Not much…So, how's Justin?” He really wants to know what happened; Nick kind of thinks he shouldn't have left her with Justin. But then again, there’s a big part of him that knows she would have wanted him gone.
“Um, alright,” she squeaks out. Nick catches something in her voice that makes him feel like he's about to throw up. “He needs time.”
“Oh,” he whispers, attempting not to sound sad. “So, you're still, um, together?”
“I, I think so,” Miley says back. Nick sits down on the edge of his bed, kicking his shoes off his feet. He feels very odd all of the sudden, he can't quite place it- disappointment, confusion, worry, none of them seem quite right. They're not exact enough.
“I, um, I hope we can work it out,” Miley's voice sounds really far away now, scratchy and breathless.
Nick is not sure what she means. “Who?” He’s not sure which answer would be better. He doesn't want this to change anything between them, since she’s still with the douchebag. If this has ruined his chances with her he doesn't even know what he'll do.
Nick would have liked to know if that was last time he'd ever kiss her. He didn't know last time either, and he thinks it might have helped if he had.
“Me and Justin, I guess. And me and you. I want to be friends, still.” He can picture her teeth sinking into her bottom lip and it makes him feel, it just…it just makes him feel.
“Oh.” He can't think of anything else to say. Nick thinks about a way to fix this.
“I mean, I just-”
“We both weren't thinking right,” he says, cutting her off. He really doesn't want to hear her explanation. Nick has no desire to be pitied, made into some sort of idiot who is so socially inept that he can't read the signals of a girl he dated for a year and a half.
“Oh,” Miley mumbles softly. Nick's not sure he even heard her of if he's imagining it.
“You were mad at Justin and my levels were a little off.” It's the truth, or close enough to the truth that Nick does not feel totally guilty about saying it.
“Your levels were off?” she asks. Nick thinks her voice sounds irrevocably sad, but he isn't sure why. She's the one still dating the douchebag. “You're okay though, right?”
“I'm good.” That seems more like a lie than anything else, and Nick isn't sure what to do with that. But he'll live with it until he can ask Joe what the hell is going on. As much as Nick hates to admit it, Joe knows more about the girl thing than he does. Or maybe he can ask Danielle in a nonchalant, non-incriminating way.
“Good.”
Nick just sits there, trying to think of something to say that won't make this situation so much worse than it already is. He was so sure that he'd won her over, won her back. He thinks that was probably where he failed; he was too cocky. But he's not going to give up. He loves her, so he can't.
After a couple more minutes Nick feels okay about listening to Miley's breathing coming down the line, but then she breaks the quiet, asking, “What's up?”
Nick thinks for a moment, trying to find some common ground. “They really liked Before the Storm,” he whispers (they haven't even heard the final version yet, but it is all he can think of). He's not sure why he's whispering, but it makes him feel better, like she's closer.
“Really?” There's a joy mixed in her voice that makes Nick feel better almost instantly.
“Yeah. Joe said we should just let you write everything for us from now on,” Nick chuckles, scooting back to the wall and listening to Miley giggle along with him.
“I didn't do that much, besides, you're the musical genius.”
Sometimes he wonders why she says stuff like that. “Don't sell yourself short, Miles.” He wants her to know how talented he thinks she is. Her love of music is one of his favorite things about her, if not his favorite thing. The passion she puts into it is contagious, and Nick thinks she's made him more passionate, if that's even possible.
“Okay,” she whispers. There's a beat of silence like she's thinking if she wants to say anything or not. “Did you see the pictures online?”
It takes Nick a moment to remember what she’s referring to; lunch seems like years ago. “Oh, no.”
“You should. I look really pretty in them.” She giggles quietly, and Nick suddenly wants to know what she's doing. He think she's probably either a) picking at her nail polish, b) searching for things online, or c) cleaning her room.
“Oh, I bet. It's amazing what cameras can do.”
“Hey, watch it mister!” She tries to sound serious, but her laugh comes across the phone sounding very muffled, as though she thinks he won't be able to hear it.
“I bet the pictures don't come close to the real thing,” he says softly, getting up and booting up his laptop. He doesn’t really care about the pictures, but if Miley wants him to look at them he will.
”Oh,” she says deeply, and Nick can picture her twirling a piece of hair around her finger as she thinks about if she wants her response to be witty or sincere. “Thank you,” she finally answers; Nick can hear the smile forming on her lips.
Opening up an Internet browser, Nick searches for the pictures--they come up easily (it's not very comforting). He looks through a few of them, smiling a little bit. Miley just looks so happy, even with the paparazzi in her face. He likes to think he did that, and then he remembers he did. He feels very warm inside all of the sudden. “The pictures look great.”
“Don't they?”
“We look great,” Nick says. He wants to add 'together', but he doesn't.
“I know, right? I'm so cute and you're so stern and serious.” She's laughing very hard now, and Nick can't help but laugh too.
He's still pretty sure everything will work out, because nothing seems to have changed between them. He's still on track. And a negative attitude isn't going to help, so he's pretty sure.
*
When Joe comes home the first thing he says to Nick when they're alone is: “any news on the Miley front? Demi says things have been unbelievably quiet.” There's concern in Joe's eyes and Nick kind of wants to give his brother a big hug for caring so much. And at the same time he's a little creeped out that Demi and Joe discuss these things so regularly that it's as normal for them as making kissy noises over the phone and saying “no you hang up first” over an over again, pretending they're mocking people who do that, but secretly enjoying it a lot more than they let on.
“We kissed,” Nick replies, looking at his brother seriously. He needs Joe to understand and to help, not whip out his phone to call Demi.
“You what?” Joe's eyes widen and he nods his head slightly, trying to tell Nick to continue.
“But we're just friends and she's still with the douchebag.” Nick's calling Justin that from now on--he doesn't care if it's extremely immature.
“Wow,” Joe says quietly, looking at Nick sympathetically. He reaches out and pats Nick on the back for a moment, not saying anything.
“Don't tell Demi. I'm sure Miley will let her know when she's ready.” Nick sort of feels like he betrayed her trust telling Joe, but she had to know he would.
“Alright, I won't.”
“Any advice?” Nick asks lamely, sitting down on his bed, feeling comforted when Joe sits beside him, kicking his foot.
Joe sighs and looks at Nick seriously. “I'm not a genie.”
“That…doesn't really make sense.” Nick blinks a few times and rubs at the back of his neck, feeling a crick developing in it.
“You guys are still talking?”
“Yeah.”
Smiling, Joe replies, “That's good.” And Nick rolls his eyes because he already knew that. “Just give her time, bro. You really broke her heart, obviously she's going to be cautious about starting things up again.”
“You think so?” Nick thinks Joe probably is a genie, or whatever. “So you think she likes me?”
“We've covered this,” Joe says, looking at Nick, clearly a little annoyed, but there is still some understanding in his eyes. “You're a Jonas, of course she likes you.”
Nick doesn't know what he would do without Joe.
*
Miley is in Europe and Nick feels very out of touch with her. He doesn't want to appear too anxious or clingy by calling her. They're just friends after all, and he knows how busy she is. When Demi calls Joe to freak out about the fact that Miley and Nick kissed (and proceed to talk to him on the phone for two hours about other things, Joe blushing occasionally), Nick's really happy.
When he finally detaches the cell from Joe's ear Nick asks Demi how she's doing and tells her that he missed her like crazy. He can't wait to see her in person; it feels like forever since they’ve really hung out. Then Demi tells him about how Miley’s doing good and not sure about things with the douchebag and how she misses being home. Nick's really grateful for Demi.
“And she misses you, too.” Demi says. Nick can hear her sigh down the line happily, as though she just said the best thing ever. Nick thinks she probably did.
“Thanks Dem.” Nick does not know how to tell her how much this means to him. He feels more connected to Miley again, like no time was lost.
“Yeah, you love me.”
“If you say so.” Nick grins widely, feeling Joe poke him in the side, eagerly holding out his hand for the phone.
“Joe wants to talk to you again.”
Demi laughs loudly, the kind that makes her head roll back. “Okay, put him on. Bye Nick.”
“Bye Demi.” He hands the phone to his brother and smiles, shaking his head back and forth. He listens to Joe tell her about getting three bull's-eyes in a row while playing darts just now before he heads upstairs.
Nick thinks that Joe and Demi just mesh perfectly. It's a really nice thing to see, even if it is two other people.
*
Texting back and forth with Miley becomes a nightly thing, and Nick's not sure why he likes that so much. It's constant and consistent; he likes the structure. But he thinks actually talking to her would help him make some more progress, so he tells her h'’s going to call. He swears it has nothing to do with missing the sound of her voice.
“Hey," he says.
“Hey.” Nick can hear her smiling brightly. “What'cha doing?”
“Thinking,” he responds, running his hand through his hair and sinking down into his mattress a little more; his back slides down the headboard.
“You should stop,” Miley whispers. Nick hears her clear her throat before continuing, “It doesn't look good on you.”
“Oh really?” He raises his eyebrows as high as they can go, even though she can't see him. He's a little surprised that she sounds so awake, but he feels like he could talk to her for hours tonight- he gets to sleep in tomorrow anyway.
“Yep. Girls like dumb boys.”
Nick waits for a moment, wondering if it's too easy or not. “So that makes Justin…”
“Nicholas!” She sounds really surprised and a little offended, but he can hear her laughter on the other end of the line and can't help but smile. “Justin is not stupid.”
“If you say so,” Nick says nonchalantly. He slings his arm over his head and feels the stretch in his side. Talking to her like this- before they fall asleep- reminds him of when they were dating. He wonders if the douchebag ever called her before she went to bed, and he wonders what it means that the douchebag obviously doesn't anymore.
“I bet he could beat you at anything.”
“Set it up and I'll be there.” Nick’s sure he could take the douchebag. And if not, he could always call in Joe for backup.
“You really are a moron.”
“Does that mean you like me?” He smirks down the line, feeling really good about himself.
“I only like musicians,” she replies. And Nick's pretty sure his heart just skipped a beat. He didn't expect her voice to sound so sweet and thick. He thought she'd just laugh a little and keep things light. He's really happy she didn't. “Can you play guitar?”
“Damn. I knew I should have learned.” Nick sits up a little straighter, hoping it will help him think better throughout this phone call. He needs to be on his toes with Miley- she's quick.
“That's too bad,” Miley replies, her voice threaded with fake disappointment. “You sound really cute.”
Nick isn't sure why he feels his stomach turn over. “Do I?” He pauses for a second, hoping he's affecting her as much as she's getting to him. “What if I told you I can play the drums?”
“That's hot.”
He can't think of anything to say to that, so he chuckles, “I'm sorry. I didn't know I was talking to Paris Hilton.”
“Oh, I know you have a thing for her,” Miley says airily, like it's some sort of common knowledge, even though she knows full well how much of a lie it is.
Nick flexes his toes to keep them from falling asleep and presses his lips together. “Nah, I prefer girls who aren’t named after cities.”
“I see. You prefer girls named after their dads.”
“Exactly,” Nick whispers, pressing the phone closer to his ear. Miley's breathing seems to stop for a moment- and then comes back normally. He feels very content, a little tired now, but good. Talking to Miley always makes his head buzz a little bit--in the best way.
“Justin thinks we stopped talking,” Miley spits out suddenly.
Nick has not idea why she said that. It doesn't really make a difference to him either way. “Why does he think that?”
“Because I promised him we wouldn't be friends anymore,” Miley whispers.
It hurts. But he thinks about how important to her he must be if she's still speaking to him so regularly. He also kind of likes that she's hiding their relationship- friendship- from the douchebag, it makes him feel like he’s really starting to get to her. “Well,” Nick waits a beat, his words coming out low and husky, “we could be secret friends.”
A pregnant silence takes over and Nick wonders if maybe that was too much. But then again, it's not his fault if Miley's mind is next to his in the gutter.
“Yeah, that'd be nice.”
Nick wishes he could see her in person, study her face. Because she sounds the way she does after she’s been kissed for a long time, and he really loves when her voice gets like that.
*
When Miley calls him Nick picks up the phone eagerly, more than happy to hear from her in the middle of the day. He expected her to simply respond to the text he sent a few minutes ago, but calls are better. “Hey?” he asks, because he's still a little confused.
“Nick,” she chokes out. He can hear how dry her throat sounds, how strangled, as if she's trying her best not to cry.
“What's wrong?” He's really worried about her. He has no idea what could make her sound like this. He knows he has things to do today, really important things, but he'd definitely come over to her house tonight- granted, it'd be really late- if she needed him. He's determined to show her that he'll be there for her.
“We can't talk anymore,” she exhales quickly, as though she's gasping for breath, and Nick feels his heart drop to his knees.
“What?” he whispers, “Why not?” He wonders how he's still breathing normally at this point.
“Justin,” she takes in a huge gulp of air, but Nick can hear her clearly. “knows we’ve been talking. And I need to,” she pauses, her breathing erratic, her voice coming in waves, “make it work with him.”
“Oh. Okay,” Nick says. He doesn't know what else he could possibly do.
It's over. He just can't believe she would do this. He thought that even if nothing happened- even if they simply stayed friends- she wouldn't cut him off. Part of him thinks he deserves this after last year, but part of him is crushed. He's not angry; he can't be angry when she's practically sobbing down the line.
“I'm sorry.” She sounds utterly sincere, and Nick is finding it really hard to believe this is actually happening. He's waiting for her to laugh and say it was all a big joke, even though he knows that she won't.
“Bye,” he whispers at last. Kevin's coming over to ask what's taking so long, and Nick's not sure what he expects Miley to do.
“Bye.”
The call is over.
*
Everyone spends the rest of the day walking on eggshells around him and acting far too nice. Even his mom, who hugs him a lot more than usual, not saying anything about how she told him so, even if she did. He wishes they'd just treat him normally: Joe joking about everything, Kevin trying to get Joe to take things seriously, texting Danielle every hour or so, his mom watching from the sidelines, smiling and talking to everyone, making sure things go smoothly. He thinks it'd help make everything feel normal. He doesn't like how he's feeling right now, and he keeps checking his levels, so that's not it.
Nick didn't realize what if felt like to feel so broken.
He hopes Miley's doing better.
*
Character/Pairings: Nick/Miley
Summary: Nick still likes Miley. In fact, he is fairly certain he never stopped liking her-- in a strictly platonic way. ( I'm a Modern Girl, But I Fold in Half So Easily from Nick's POV)
Rating: PG (Some language)
Word Count: 9,600
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The title is from All Time Low's Dear Maria, Count Me In. Also, this did not happen.
Other: This was intended as an outtake for this fic, but ended up much longer than I expected. This part corresponds with parts two and three of it. It's probably not necessary to be familiar with the original, but it may help. However, if there is any confusion you can probably refer back to those parts.
ii.
He walks back into the living room where his parents are chatting about the boys' busy schedule and how his mom really wants to repaint their bedroom. His mom smiles at him a little and nods to the couch across from them, finishing her thoughts about maybe painting the walls a blue color and getting a chocolate bedspread. When she’s done she turns to Nick and sighs.
“Nick,” she begins softly, “we're worried about…about you.”
His dad nods along firmly and sits forward, clasping his hands together. “And Miley.”
“What?” Nick chokes out, very confused. “I still have time to do everything. And have friends”
His parents exchange a nervous look and Nick sees his dad's shoulders tense up. They're very quiet for a minute, looking at him closely, thinking about how to word what they have to say . Nick wishes his brothers were here; he can hear them cleaning up in the kitchen, and Nick would give just about anything to have to help with the dishes instead of sitting on this couch.
“Honey,” his mom finally speaks, her voice unwavering, “we're worried about the history that you two share.”
“Huh?” Nick mumbles.
“You and Miley,” she says, keeping eye contact.
“We feel,” his dad continues, his voice sounding much less sympathetic than his mother's, “that maybe your feelings are complicated and that you need to take a step back, think about what people will think.”
Nick's head is spinning; he does not comprehend anything his parents are trying to say. He can feel himself blushing despite his best efforts not to, and he tries to sit up straighter- so that he is more equal to them. “I, no one knows we’re even friends though.”
“Yet,” his dad states coolly, running his hand over his face and looking at Nick's mother like he's a little exasperated and just wants to let Nick go upstairs. His mom looks at his dad seriously and shakes her head slightly.
“Nick, we're not talking about people in general.” His mom takes a deep breath and looks at him again, her eyes unblinking. “We're talking about her family, our family and friends, her…her boyfriend.” Nick notices the disapproving tone his mother's voice takes as she mentions Justin. He's pretty sure she's one of the people who think Justin's too old for Miley, and Nick agrees, but he still feels the need to defend her.
“We're just friends though,” Nick says slowly, scrunching his eyebrows together in thought, wondering if maybe he's really that obvious.
“Right.” His dad stands up and stops when his mom touches his hand lightly. He looks at her briefly before walking into his office.
“Just be careful, okay?” His mom states, her eyes soft and sad; he doesn't want her pity. He doesn't need it.
“I will,” he says, not daring to stand up until his mother does a minute later. He begins to head towards the stairs so he can sit in his room until Joe comes to ask him what this whole conversation was about. He also wants to try his best to forget this ever happened.
“Remember to check your levels,” his mom calls out after him.
Nick just nods his head, not bothering to turn around.
*
They're driving over to the Cyrus house for a barbecue and baseball, and Nick doesn't feel all that excited about it. His parents are acting as normal as they ever do: his mom grinning and talking about how she can’t wait to see how much Noah has grown, and how she has so much catching up to do with Tish. His dad is nodding along, saying he can’t wait to see Billy Ray again and how fun it'll be to beat him during the game. Joe is texting Demi and Nick tries to read over his shoulder, but Joe just keeps moving his phone out of sight and covering it with his hand. Nick can’t decide if they're talking about him or not, he thinks it's probably a bit of both.
Kevin and Danielle are driving separately, and Nick keeps looking out the back window, wishing he were in their car. Then Dani could distract him the way she's so good at doing, helping him calm down. He needs to stop thinking about how maybe his parents will tell Miley's mom and dad that they shouldn’t hang out as much. Nick thinks that's ridiculous since they don’t see each other that often anyway.
He also can’t help thinking about how he does not want to see Justin again. Miley said he’d be there, and Nick just wishes he wouldn’t be. Since when is he part of Miley's family anyway? It's supposed to be their two families getting together--not their two families and Miley's douchebag of a boyfriend.
*
Nick's not one hundred percent invested in this game of baseball. Miley hit herself with the bat her first time up and is sitting on the patio with Justin. Glancing at them every few minutes, Nick can't help but feel sick. They're talking, and Justin's holding her hand, and Miley's giggling; Justin's kissing her cheek and Nick can't really stand this anymore.
Sometimes he worries his plan isn't working fast enough.
Maybe he should hit himself with the baseball bat, so Miley can fuss over him a little and not look so engrossed in whatever Justin is saying. But then she looks across the yard, a strand of hair blowing across her face; she waves at him. Nick doesn't wave back because that would be lame, but he nods his head at her and smiles.
When it's his turn to bat he hears her cheer a little and looks in her direction.
He's going to own this game.
*
His team ends up losing and Nick's really disappointed that Braison seems to suck so much compared to everyone else, but at least Nick scored almost every time he was up to bat. So it was a success. When he says goodbye to Miley he hugs her quickly, trying not to make a big deal out of it since everyone is huddled by the entrance of her house. He's pretty sure it seems normal since he hugs Noah too.
They get home and Nick realizes he didn't ask Miley how her leg was feeling. So he’s worried about her. When Joe barges into Nick’s room, his face unreadable, Nick is pacing back and forth a little, holding his phone and contemplating calling Miley.
“What up, bro?” Joe plops down on his bed, stretching his arms and throwing them behind his head.
“Nothing,” Nick sighs, turning his phone over in his hand.
“You're looking like you have a problem,” Joe says, sitting on Nick's bed and stretching out his legs. “Besides having to live with your face.”
“That's so funny, Joe. Really.” Nick rolls his eyes and sits down on the chair in front of his laptop, turning to his brother and shaking his head. He loves Joe a lot, but whenever Joe comes in trying to look like he's not thinking about anything it usually means he wants to talk about Miley or Demi. And he doesn't have that kind of dazed, happy look he gets after he sees or talks to Demi, so Nick's pretty sure it's about the former.
“Wow, someone's defensive today,” Joe scoffs, laughing quietly.
“I'm just worried about Miley,” Nick says, because Joe already knows- and there is no use denying it anymore- but he corrects himself anyway: “Miley's leg.”
Joe laughs even harder now, louder. “You're such a girl.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Joe begins to text someone- Demi, probably.
“You didn't see the bruise.” Nick knows Joe has a point, but he can't really help it.
“So? It's just a bruise.”
Nick knows that, and he can't really counter Joe when Joe is making sense. But his brother just doesn't understand how complicated things with Miley are, how Justin gets to ice her leg and make her feel better--Nick is still missing out. Things should be going faster with her; she should be dumping Justin, but she still looks at Justin the way Nick remembers her looking at him when they were dating.
He just didn't realize it'd be this hard. He didn't realize how much it would hurt.
“Whatever,” he mumbles, scrolling through his contacts and finding her name.
“Well since you're finally manning up to tell her how much of girl you are, I'm going to go eat something before Demi comes over,” Joe says, pushing himself off the bed and grinning wickedly. “She thinks you’re a big fat girl too.”
Nick rolls his eyes dramatically as Joe shuts the door behind him. He texts Miley quickly, not thinking too much about what he should say. He thinks too much sometimes (and Nick can hardly believe that it's possible to think too much, but apparently he manages to do it).
*
It takes him forever to write Before the Storm- almost two months. And when he's finished, it still isn't perfect; it still feels like something's missing, like it's still totally wrong. He's texting Miley one night and she tells him that she took some NyQuil to help her get to sleep. And the fact that she's hopped up on sleep medication is probably why she texts something that may imply that he's a better kisser than Justin. Especially because she stops responding afterwords and tells him the next day that she was out cold, like she has no recollection of texting that at all.
But it makes him realize, finally, how this game he's playing isn't fun--because it's not really a game. It's not about winning or losing; it's about how he feels, how she feels. It's more like a song he’s writing. So he asks her to collaborate with him, telling her he has the perfect song. He knows she'll be able to make it perfect.
When she comes over to hear it, she nonchalantly asks, “Where are Joe and Kevin,” and Nick knows she thinks this wasn't his idea, that this song isn't just his thing, their thing.
But it is.
“Um, upstairs,” he replies, feeling sort of ridiculous as they walk towards the piano room. He wonders if maybe she won't want to do the song if it's just the two of them.
“Are they coming to play the song for me?”
He's not sure he wants to do this anymore, because her eyes are so big and blue and hopeful, and he's not sure he can take it if she turns him down. Asking her to do the song was nerve-wracking enough. “It's more of uh, just me,” he mumbles, walking into the piano room. “It'd be like, a duet.”
“Oh, cool,” Miley says quietly, her feet seemingly glued to the ground where she's standing.
Nick sits down on the piano bench, taking a deep breath and readying himself. He gently presses down a few of the smooth keys before stopping to look at her. “Aren't you going to sit down?” he asks, hoping she isn't changing her mind about the whole thing already.
“Um.” And then she's sitting next to him on the piano, her thigh pressed next his, and he can feel some fine hairs on her arm brush against his when he places his fingers on the piano again. He double checks his finger position and feels his heart beating quickly. Taking a deep breath, Nick begins to press down the keys, hesitantly at first, but to his surprise it's easier to play with Miley there. He feels the emotions from the song coursing through his veins, like her presence simply makes it so much better, even if she's not doing anything but listening.
He finishes the song with a decrescendo and then looks at Miley, who has her eyes closed. When she opens them they're a shade darker, and Nick's having some trouble thinking, reading the expression on her face. “I was thinking that, um, you could work with it a little and maybe, um, making it sort of like, our story,” he whispers, internally cursing himself for sound like an idiot.
A second later Miley starts to cry, and Nick wraps his arms around her without a thought. Her head is on his shoulder and he can feel her tears drenching through his shirt. She’s sobbing so hard that she's hiccuping a little, trying to breath, and Nick does not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. He rubs circles into her back and tries to comfort her, tries to apologize for whatever is making her tear up. Miley clutches at the fabric of his shirt, and Nick pulls her tighter into his embrace. He wants to make her feel steady, the way that she makes him feel when she smiles at him.
When her tears slow down Miley doesn't let him go and Nick feels like their hearts are beating to the same rhythm. He smells her hair and is really happy she’s still using the same shampoo (if not the same perfume). The new mixture is intoxicating and Nick wants to stay here forever. Things are so simple if they don't think about them, if they don't talk and are just able to be.
Lifting her head, she says, “I'm sorry.” Nick lets her go, even though he doesn't want to.
“I hope it wasn't that bad.” He's trying to joke around, to lighten things up, but his stomach is heavy and his throat is a little dry. A drink of water would do him a lot of good right now.
“No, it was beautiful…and I'd love to sing it with you,” Miley replies, rubbing at her eyes, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up into a smile.
“Do you want to work on it now, or…” Nick asks, feeling very full. His voice is coming back, and he feels so good about where he and Miley are in their friendship. He feels like they've come so far so soon. He can't believe he ever doubted it.
“Play me something else,” she says quickly, sounding so excited.
“Um, sure.” He looks at Miley for a second, hoping she isn't going to cry again. He likes it a lot better when she smiles. He tries to think of something to play for a moment, but his mind if coming up blank. “Any requests?”
She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she thinks about it. A glow reaches her face, a glimmer in her eyes. “Oh!” she exclaims happily, smiling brightly, “Play that song you wrote on the piano. Because I am a genius.”
Nick remembers telling her that when he finished the song, and he feels really weird about playing it for her now. He's done with it, and he really likes it. But he knows she'll probably be able to figure out that it's about her. He's really worried he's going to scare her off. But he'll do it for her; he can't say no. “Oh. Okay.”
He plays the song and looks over at her in the middle of it, her eyes are closed and she's swaying a little, a small smile residing on her mouth. Nick feels better now; he's not sure why Miley isn't freaking out, but he's so glad that she isn't.
When the song comes to an end he raises his eyebrows at her and tries to mask his emotions, hide how much her reaction means to him. Her opinion is one of the few that actually matter. “So?”
Miley's eyes run over his face for a minute and then she says, “I'm a genius.” Her grin is so wide and her eyes are shinning in this really pure, innocent way. Nick fights the urge to give her another hug or run his hand through her hair.
They start working on Before the Storm, and Miley is really hesitant to change anything at first, the freshly sharpened pencil he gives her not being used. Every time she suggests something she asks, “Is that okay?” and he tells her that it is. After a half hour or so she starts singing it with him and really gets into it, altering some of the lyrics, adding a line here or there, asking about note progression and melody. She scribbles all over the page in her large loopy script.
Nick really likes the way their handwritings look together.
*
Opening the door, Nick is beyond surprised to see Miley holding a large stack of DVDs. He thought suggesting that they have a movie night at his house meant they would choose from his DVD collection. And that he wouldn’t be stuck watching a bunch of girly romantic comedies.
“Hey.” She smiles. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and she's wearing a pair of sweatpants he's never seen before.
“Hey,” he says, taking the pile of DVDs from her as she walks in and shuts the door. Flipping through them, Nick is disappointed in her choices, but he can't say he's shocked. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” she says softly, and when Nick looks at her she's looking at him very serenely. He thinks his heart is growing. “So do you.”
“Who said you got to pick the movie anyway?” Nick asks, handing the DVDs back to Miley, frowning a little.
She giggles some, a few strands of hair falling in front of her face as she looks at her feet for a second, kicking her shoes off. “Be a gentleman, Nicky.”
Nick scuffs quietly at that, starting to walk into the living room. He's keenly aware of his parents and Frankie playing Mousetrap in the kitchen. He's pretty sure someone's going to pop in to check on them every half hour or so. “I'm always a gentleman.”
Shaking her head, Miley smiles, flipping through her DVDs and picking one, placing the stack on the table. “We have time for three right? Because I can't choose just one.”
Nick nods his head and grins at her as she goes to the entertainment system, putting the DVD in and grabbing the remotes. She tries to figure it out for a minute and then turns to him, sitting down on the couch and handing him the controls. “Help,” she says simply.
He turns everything on and sighs when the menu for Grease comes up. “Really, Miley?”
“You'll like it better than the other two we're watching,” she says happily, clasping her hands together.
Nick groans and presses play, watching Miley as she settles back into the couch, looking completely content. “What's so great about this movie anyway?”
“What?” she asks him, turning her head, her eyebrows raised.
“What's so great about this movie?”
“I'm sorry, Nick, is that a joke?” Miley pries the remote from his hand and presses pause as Danny and Sandy are on the beach. She places her hand on his shoulder and looks him seriously in the eye. “That better be a joke.”
“No,” Nick says slowly, a little scared of her now. He just never understood the point of Sandy having to change in the end, or why Travolta’s voice is so high sometimes- not that he doesn't give the guy his props. He'd much rather watch cars getting blown up, is all.
“Obviously, if you don’t know, you need to watch the movie again.” Her fingernails scrap lightly down his arm as she lets go of his shoulder and puts her hand in her lap.
“Fine,” he breathes out, wishing he could move his knee away from where it's touching hers. But he thinks it'd be even more awkward if he did, and he's also wondering why Miley hasn't moved her leg away either.
As they watch the movie, Nick still can't pay attention. There's this constant electricity traveling between their knees and Miley's humming along to all of the songs. Occasionally she looks at him and asks if he gets it yet. He just shrugs. He understands that watching her reactions to the movie makes him think about the past and how she's just as adorable as ever. But that's not what she's talking about.
When it's over his mom comes in and they both move their knees away quickly, and Nick feels really stupid and thirteen. His mom doesn't seem to notice though; she just smiles and asks Miley how she is. Miley responds, talking animatedly with her hands. His mom says she's making some popcorn and asks if they want any. They both say yes.
“So you get it now?” Miley asks as his mom leaves, looking very grave. The popcorn bowl is propped in her lap and she shoves one hand in, tossing a few kernels into her mouth.
“Sure,” Nick says, blinking a few times.
Miley sighs dramatically and shakes her head. “I am so sad for you right now that I will let you pick the next movie.”
Looking at her cautiously, he's not sure he actually believes it. She's said that before. And then shot down every single thing he's suggested. But he gets up anyway and goes to the DVD shelf, letting his eyes run over the options. After a minute he feels Miley standing too close and he turns his head, seeing her looking at all of the movies they have. “What?” he asks.
“You're taking too long,” she says, nodding her head up and down a few times for emphasis. Nick can feel her breathing on his neck.
“Sorry…it's a lot of pressure.” He rolls his eyes at her and tries not to read too much into the warm air on his neck. She's just being the way she always is when she's had too much caffeine- he never should have offered her that diet coke.
“Oh, let's watch that one!” She points to his mom's copy of Pride and Prejudice excitedly, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“No.”
“No?” she asks, sounding slightly surprised. “Do you have any better suggestions?”
“Yeah, just about anything else.”
She shakes her head at him and pulls the movie out before he can protest anymore, popping it into the player. Nick sits down next to her and can't help but feel good that Miley's more comfortable around the house now. She's acting like she lives there, and she practically does anyway.
When the movie's over it's getting late and his mom comes in to sit on the couch next to Miley. Nick would complain about how Miley and his mom take five minutes to decide to watch The Notebook, but he's pretty sure his mom would look at him weird and tell him to be nice. He gets through half the movie before catching Joe on his way in and leaving his mom and Miley to their sighing and tears.
“Mom's totally cockblocking you,” Joe says with a smirk. He grabs a soda out of the fridge and cracks it open, listening to the fizz die down.
“They're just watching chick flicks.” Nick shrugs his shoulders.
“Leaving in the middle of the movie is going to make her like you.” Joe rolls his eyes sarcastically and lifts his soda towards the living room.
Nick knows what he means, but he really can't stand any more of those movies. He thinks he has suffered enough. “I'll go back in a few minutes.”
“Alright.” Joe finishes the last of his soda and throws it into the recycling, heading up the stairs and shaking his head at Nick like he's disappointed in him or something.
Miley walks into the kitchen a little while later, yawning. “I think I'm going to head home now.”
“Oh. Okay.” Nick smiles softly at her, glancing at the clock and seeing that it's almost midnight. He suddenly feels much sleepier.
He walks her to the door, hugging her awkwardly as she holds the stack of movies she brought over. “Call me soon,” she says quietly, her eyes burning into his.
“I will.” He opens the door for her and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Bye.”
Her eyes flutter closed for a moment and then she looks at him, a small smile tugging at her mouth. “Bye Nicky.” She walks down the driveway slowly, turning around at the end of it to look at him one last time, tucking the DVDs under her arm so she can wave goodbye. He waves back.
He just really loves her a lot sometimes.
*
Nick rings the doorbell, holding the keys in his hand. He cannot believe he's taking Miley out to lunch. It's something he’d never though he'd ever do again--for a lot of reasons. But mostly, right now, he just wants to do something that will make her happy. Even if it's making his stomach clench and he's thinking about backing out. He's trying to remain steady.
When Miley opens the door she grins widely at him, and he asks if she's ready to go. “Definitely,” she responds, shutting the door behind her as she walks over to his car, getting in and buckling her seatbelt. Nick thinks about how pretty sure looks today, the blue of her shirt bringing out her eyes, the wave in her hair looking so natural and perfect. He's pretty sure he could stare at her for a long, long time. He's also pretty sure he keeps getting lamer and lamer.
“It's really nice,” she says, motioning around at the car.
“Thanks.” Nick puts the key into the ignition, looking over his shoulder. He needs to be very careful with the car. His parents would kill him if anything happened to it, and he'd kill himself if anything happened to Miley.
A comfortable silence fills the air as they go down her driveway, and then Miley's asking if she can turn on the radio. She fiddles with it a little, listening to bits and pieces of various songs, he can sort of see her nodding her head a few times in his peripheral vision. Some country song that sounds vaguely familiar comes out of the radio and Miley sits back. Nick feels himself about to smile.
“What?” Miley asks. Nick really wishes he could see her face, but he's trying his best to concentrate on the road.
“I'm just surprised I guess.”
“Why?”
“I, I don't know.” Shaking his head back and forth a little, Nick tries to think about the last time he heard this song- and is pretty sure he was with Miley when he did. But he can't place it, even though he can usually remember moments by sound and music. It's really strange that he can't this time, but he just lets it be.
“You're so weird sometimes,” Miley says, amusement evident in her voice. “Hey, where are we going for lunch?”
Nick can feel heat rising in his cheeks as he speaks hesitantly, “Um, I was thinking The Village Idiot.”
“Oh.” Miley’s voice sounds odd, and Nick would give anything to see her reaction right now, but he forces himself to stare ahead at the pavement. “We can go somewhere less…crowded, if you want. Or we could even just go to your house.”
“No, it's fine.” Nick shakes his head slightly, noticing his tight grip on the steering wheel he flexes his fingers, trying to relax and not think of what -or who- will be waiting for them at the restaurant. “Unless you don't want to,” he adds, not wanting to force her to do anything.
“I want to,” she says quickly, and Nick can hear the smile in her voice as she laughs a little bit afterwords.
“Okay,” her breathes out, happy that she's onboard. But at the same time, he hates the idea of getting photographed. It's just that he never went out in public with her like this when they were dating before, even though he knows Miley would have loved it. He didn't avoid it because he was ashamed to be seen with her, but sometimes he thinks that she believes that.
He wants to show her that he isn't embarrassed.
Then Miley's arm is rubbing his and Nick slows to a stop at a red light. He is sure this will be worth it.
*
After they order Nick is feeling a bit calmer. All of the cameras flashing in their faces as they walked in had made him feel anxious and annoyed, blinding him as he tried to simply walk into a restaurant. But after a few sips of water he's feeling better, and his burger looks really great, even if Miley's pork sausage smells better.
“How was it rerecording those parts of Before the Storm?” Nick asks. He really wishes he had been able to be there with her. When they were in the studio the first time it was really great. He didn't think it was magical or anything- because that would be really girly of him. He picks up his burger and takes a huge bite out of it now that his stomach has calmed down.
“It was good, I think.” Miley smiles at him with her eyes. “I hope I didn't mess up the song too much.”
“You didn't,” Nick says seriously, hoping she doesn't honestly think that. He watches her chew her food, resting her elbow on the table, her chin in her palm. “I'm sure you did great.”
Miley stares at him for a minute; he begins to feel really weird, but then she's asking, “Can I have a bite of that?”
“The burger?” He feels like a huge idiot when she rolls her eyes. “Oh, sure.” He hands it over to her and she takes it, their fingers brushing slightly.
He watches her take a huge bite and chew dramatically, as though it's the best thing she's ever had. “Want to switch?”
“It took you ten minutes to order and now you want my food?” Nick raises his eyebrows at her.
Miley presses her lips together for a moment. “Yes.” She reaches across the table, putting the burger down on his plate and pulling it away from him, pushing her own plate across the table. “Thanks.” She smiles, picking up the burger again.
“Yeah, yeah.” He shakes his head, but can't fight the grin taking residence over his face. He feels like it practically lives there when he’s around Miley. When he shoves her pork sausage into his mouth it tastes really good, so he’s okay with her taking his food.
He probably would have been okay with it even if the pork sausage sucked.
*
When they get to Miley's he freaks out a little about hitting a car, because he feels like the worst driver ever. “I can't believe they got it on tape,” he groans, thinking about how his dad will want to murder him.
Miley's laugh hits his ears loudly as she says, “It'll be fine, they probably know how nervous I make you.”
“You do not,” Nick responds, slapping her arm a little and leaning his head back against the couch. Girls do not make him nervous, not even ones like Miley, because that would be really girly of him. He can't have that.
“Don't try to deny it. They're probably selling the story to every magazine known to man.”
Nick really doesn't want to think about that. “Ugh, maybe we should have gone someplace else.” He feels like a jerk the minute the words leave his mouth. He sits up and looks at Miley, who's biting her lip and seems a little sad. He hates making her look like that. “I did have a good time though.”
She looks at him for a moment and seems to relax, as though she believes he did a have a good time with her- he always does. “Maybe we should watch a movie?”
“Sounds good,” Nick says. He feels like he needs a distraction. Miley gets up to go look for a movie, asking him what he wants to watch. “I don't care.” Right now he's feeling too tired to care. Sometimes he forgets how much work it is dealing with the paparazzi. He cannot believe Miley deals with them with a smile as often as she does.
She puts something in and sits down next to him on the couch, an inch of space separating their bodies. Nick tries to ignore the urge to sling his arm over the back of the couch and touch her shoulder with his fingertips. The menu comes up and it's The Notebook. He groans, well aware that Miley probably thinks this is hilarious and just wants him to watch the whole thing.
“Don’t,” she whispers sternly,
“I wasn't going to say anything.” He smiles at her, because he was ready to complain.
“Good.”
He watches the first few minutes again, but he's just so tired that his eyelids drift shut. It's really not his fault if the movie isn't that interesting. He falls asleep easily, breathing in Miley's perfume--he notices she's wearing her old kind.
*
Nick starts to wake up, hearing a really grating voice. And opening his eyes, he hears Justin asking, “What's going on?” Nick's not sure what Justin is talking about, but his shoulder feels really warm and Miley's scent is enveloping him.
“I guess we fell asleep,” Miley says, looking over at Nick apologetically. He thinks she shouldn't have to apologize for her boyfriend.
Nick looks at Justin and sees rage echoing in his eyes. “Yeah. Boring movie.” Nick runs a hand through his hair and feels a slight ache in his shoulder; he thinks about how odd that is. Picking up his hat he says, “I'm going to check my levels,” addressing Miley more so than the douchebag.
Nick walks out of the room, hearing the quiet between Miley and Justin because they're probably waiting until he's out of earshot. Nick doesn't really want to know what they're saying anyway. He closes the bathroom door behind him and runs his hands through his hair, trying to make the curls look less flat and disorganized. After a minute he gives up, pricking his finger and reading the monitor. He could eat something (probably because Miley ate the burger and half of the pork sausage), but it's not bad.
He looks in the mirror, blinking a few times, wondering if maybe he should go and see how Miley's doing. Leaving the bathroom, he walks a few feet and gets smacked into when he turns the corner. “Oh god, I'm sorry,” Miley says quickly.
He looks at her for a moment, her hair looking a little frizzy as she nods, some angry color spreading from her cheekbones. “Can I ask you something?”
Miley hesitates for a second. “Um, sure.”
“Why are you with him?” Nick spits out the words before he can think about it anymore. It’s just that Miley's been flirting with him a lot lately, and he can't stand that she's still dating that old jerk.
“What gives you the right to ask me that?” She places her hands firmly on her hips, her breath hitching a little.
“I asked if I could.” It sounds really lame, even to him, but it's the truth.
“God, I mean, you broke up with me, remember? You didn't want me. So, you know what, Justin may be an ass sometimes, but it's not like you're any better. You didn't want me and he does, so you really don't have any right to judge me,” Miley states firmly, turning around quickly.
Nick can't let her go.
He grabs her wrist gently as it swings back, halting her efforts to stomp away. Turning around to look at him again, she yanks her hand away angrily, and Nick just wants to explain everything to her. He has so much to tell her that he can't properly say right now.
“I want you, okay?” he quickly breathes out, because he does. She doesn't even know how much. He moves towards her slowly, watching her reaction intently. She's not trying to run away from him anymore, so he takes that as a good sign. And she looks so flushed and shocked, wide blue orbs, scarlet cheeks, her chest rising and falling. She looks beautiful.
Knowing it doesn’t make any sense at all, he feels like maybe everything would be okay if he just kissed her- like his blood sugar would be perfect if he kissed her. So he grabs her waist and presses his lips to hers, softly, slowly. He tangles a hand in her hair, feeling the knots, rubbing her scalp. His heart is accelerating and this is exactly how he remembers it, but also different: it's so much better. Nick feels like he appreciates her hands tugging at his curls more, the way her mouth moves against his. He already feels better.
“Miley!” Justin's voice shatters everything, and Nick backs away from her quickly, dragging his hand through the maze of tangles in her hair.
He looks at her for a moment, thinking it's probably best if he leaves now. He'd rather not have a black eye. “I'm uh, I’m gonna go.” He's trying his best not to smile at her, but when she looks at him, he really has to fight this elation he's feeling.
“Okay, bye.” She breathes out like there isn't enough air in her lungs, wiping at her lips and running her hand through her hair.
He walks out the door quickly, trying not to skip to his car or something really lame like that. But he feels really full, giddy even. It's hard to believe that just happened, that everything’s falling into place. He sits in the car for a few minutes, tapping a beat into the steering wheel.
Miley texts that she'll call him later.
It's as close to weightless as he's ever felt.
iii.
When Nick gets back to his house he tries to push down the hope radiating from deep within his belly. It's really hard to do. He grabs an apple and some diet coke and settles down on the sofa, flipping through a bunch of stuff on television he doesn't want to watch. He ends up in his room strumming on his guitar for an hour or so, just thinking, just trying not to think.
He eats dinner with his family and begins to think that maybe Miley isn't going to call tonight. He helps his mom with the dishes and everything seems so routine, so ordinary after the day he's had. For the first time during this whole reconnecting with Miley thing Nick wishes Joe was around to talk to. He sent a text to him but hasn't gotten a response, and is pretty much going crazy.
When his phone goes off he's really surprised and looks at the caller ID. It's Miley; his heartbeat immediately becomes irregular. “Hey,” he says, answering her call, walking briskly up the stairs.
There's a beat of silence before she responds softly: “hey.”
“What's up?” Nick asks calmly, kind of surprised by how good he feels. He's not really nervous; he's sure of himself.
“Nothing, you?” Her voice sounds really southern and thick.
Closing the door to his bedroom and flopping down on the sheets, Nick listens to the sound of her steady breathing coming down the line. It slows his heart back down to a normal rhythm. “Not much…So, how's Justin?” He really wants to know what happened; Nick kind of thinks he shouldn't have left her with Justin. But then again, there’s a big part of him that knows she would have wanted him gone.
“Um, alright,” she squeaks out. Nick catches something in her voice that makes him feel like he's about to throw up. “He needs time.”
“Oh,” he whispers, attempting not to sound sad. “So, you're still, um, together?”
“I, I think so,” Miley says back. Nick sits down on the edge of his bed, kicking his shoes off his feet. He feels very odd all of the sudden, he can't quite place it- disappointment, confusion, worry, none of them seem quite right. They're not exact enough.
“I, um, I hope we can work it out,” Miley's voice sounds really far away now, scratchy and breathless.
Nick is not sure what she means. “Who?” He’s not sure which answer would be better. He doesn't want this to change anything between them, since she’s still with the douchebag. If this has ruined his chances with her he doesn't even know what he'll do.
Nick would have liked to know if that was last time he'd ever kiss her. He didn't know last time either, and he thinks it might have helped if he had.
“Me and Justin, I guess. And me and you. I want to be friends, still.” He can picture her teeth sinking into her bottom lip and it makes him feel, it just…it just makes him feel.
“Oh.” He can't think of anything else to say. Nick thinks about a way to fix this.
“I mean, I just-”
“We both weren't thinking right,” he says, cutting her off. He really doesn't want to hear her explanation. Nick has no desire to be pitied, made into some sort of idiot who is so socially inept that he can't read the signals of a girl he dated for a year and a half.
“Oh,” Miley mumbles softly. Nick's not sure he even heard her of if he's imagining it.
“You were mad at Justin and my levels were a little off.” It's the truth, or close enough to the truth that Nick does not feel totally guilty about saying it.
“Your levels were off?” she asks. Nick thinks her voice sounds irrevocably sad, but he isn't sure why. She's the one still dating the douchebag. “You're okay though, right?”
“I'm good.” That seems more like a lie than anything else, and Nick isn't sure what to do with that. But he'll live with it until he can ask Joe what the hell is going on. As much as Nick hates to admit it, Joe knows more about the girl thing than he does. Or maybe he can ask Danielle in a nonchalant, non-incriminating way.
“Good.”
Nick just sits there, trying to think of something to say that won't make this situation so much worse than it already is. He was so sure that he'd won her over, won her back. He thinks that was probably where he failed; he was too cocky. But he's not going to give up. He loves her, so he can't.
After a couple more minutes Nick feels okay about listening to Miley's breathing coming down the line, but then she breaks the quiet, asking, “What's up?”
Nick thinks for a moment, trying to find some common ground. “They really liked Before the Storm,” he whispers (they haven't even heard the final version yet, but it is all he can think of). He's not sure why he's whispering, but it makes him feel better, like she's closer.
“Really?” There's a joy mixed in her voice that makes Nick feel better almost instantly.
“Yeah. Joe said we should just let you write everything for us from now on,” Nick chuckles, scooting back to the wall and listening to Miley giggle along with him.
“I didn't do that much, besides, you're the musical genius.”
Sometimes he wonders why she says stuff like that. “Don't sell yourself short, Miles.” He wants her to know how talented he thinks she is. Her love of music is one of his favorite things about her, if not his favorite thing. The passion she puts into it is contagious, and Nick thinks she's made him more passionate, if that's even possible.
“Okay,” she whispers. There's a beat of silence like she's thinking if she wants to say anything or not. “Did you see the pictures online?”
It takes Nick a moment to remember what she’s referring to; lunch seems like years ago. “Oh, no.”
“You should. I look really pretty in them.” She giggles quietly, and Nick suddenly wants to know what she's doing. He think she's probably either a) picking at her nail polish, b) searching for things online, or c) cleaning her room.
“Oh, I bet. It's amazing what cameras can do.”
“Hey, watch it mister!” She tries to sound serious, but her laugh comes across the phone sounding very muffled, as though she thinks he won't be able to hear it.
“I bet the pictures don't come close to the real thing,” he says softly, getting up and booting up his laptop. He doesn’t really care about the pictures, but if Miley wants him to look at them he will.
”Oh,” she says deeply, and Nick can picture her twirling a piece of hair around her finger as she thinks about if she wants her response to be witty or sincere. “Thank you,” she finally answers; Nick can hear the smile forming on her lips.
Opening up an Internet browser, Nick searches for the pictures--they come up easily (it's not very comforting). He looks through a few of them, smiling a little bit. Miley just looks so happy, even with the paparazzi in her face. He likes to think he did that, and then he remembers he did. He feels very warm inside all of the sudden. “The pictures look great.”
“Don't they?”
“We look great,” Nick says. He wants to add 'together', but he doesn't.
“I know, right? I'm so cute and you're so stern and serious.” She's laughing very hard now, and Nick can't help but laugh too.
He's still pretty sure everything will work out, because nothing seems to have changed between them. He's still on track. And a negative attitude isn't going to help, so he's pretty sure.
*
When Joe comes home the first thing he says to Nick when they're alone is: “any news on the Miley front? Demi says things have been unbelievably quiet.” There's concern in Joe's eyes and Nick kind of wants to give his brother a big hug for caring so much. And at the same time he's a little creeped out that Demi and Joe discuss these things so regularly that it's as normal for them as making kissy noises over the phone and saying “no you hang up first” over an over again, pretending they're mocking people who do that, but secretly enjoying it a lot more than they let on.
“We kissed,” Nick replies, looking at his brother seriously. He needs Joe to understand and to help, not whip out his phone to call Demi.
“You what?” Joe's eyes widen and he nods his head slightly, trying to tell Nick to continue.
“But we're just friends and she's still with the douchebag.” Nick's calling Justin that from now on--he doesn't care if it's extremely immature.
“Wow,” Joe says quietly, looking at Nick sympathetically. He reaches out and pats Nick on the back for a moment, not saying anything.
“Don't tell Demi. I'm sure Miley will let her know when she's ready.” Nick sort of feels like he betrayed her trust telling Joe, but she had to know he would.
“Alright, I won't.”
“Any advice?” Nick asks lamely, sitting down on his bed, feeling comforted when Joe sits beside him, kicking his foot.
Joe sighs and looks at Nick seriously. “I'm not a genie.”
“That…doesn't really make sense.” Nick blinks a few times and rubs at the back of his neck, feeling a crick developing in it.
“You guys are still talking?”
“Yeah.”
Smiling, Joe replies, “That's good.” And Nick rolls his eyes because he already knew that. “Just give her time, bro. You really broke her heart, obviously she's going to be cautious about starting things up again.”
“You think so?” Nick thinks Joe probably is a genie, or whatever. “So you think she likes me?”
“We've covered this,” Joe says, looking at Nick, clearly a little annoyed, but there is still some understanding in his eyes. “You're a Jonas, of course she likes you.”
Nick doesn't know what he would do without Joe.
*
Miley is in Europe and Nick feels very out of touch with her. He doesn't want to appear too anxious or clingy by calling her. They're just friends after all, and he knows how busy she is. When Demi calls Joe to freak out about the fact that Miley and Nick kissed (and proceed to talk to him on the phone for two hours about other things, Joe blushing occasionally), Nick's really happy.
When he finally detaches the cell from Joe's ear Nick asks Demi how she's doing and tells her that he missed her like crazy. He can't wait to see her in person; it feels like forever since they’ve really hung out. Then Demi tells him about how Miley’s doing good and not sure about things with the douchebag and how she misses being home. Nick's really grateful for Demi.
“And she misses you, too.” Demi says. Nick can hear her sigh down the line happily, as though she just said the best thing ever. Nick thinks she probably did.
“Thanks Dem.” Nick does not know how to tell her how much this means to him. He feels more connected to Miley again, like no time was lost.
“Yeah, you love me.”
“If you say so.” Nick grins widely, feeling Joe poke him in the side, eagerly holding out his hand for the phone.
“Joe wants to talk to you again.”
Demi laughs loudly, the kind that makes her head roll back. “Okay, put him on. Bye Nick.”
“Bye Demi.” He hands the phone to his brother and smiles, shaking his head back and forth. He listens to Joe tell her about getting three bull's-eyes in a row while playing darts just now before he heads upstairs.
Nick thinks that Joe and Demi just mesh perfectly. It's a really nice thing to see, even if it is two other people.
*
Texting back and forth with Miley becomes a nightly thing, and Nick's not sure why he likes that so much. It's constant and consistent; he likes the structure. But he thinks actually talking to her would help him make some more progress, so he tells her h'’s going to call. He swears it has nothing to do with missing the sound of her voice.
“Hey," he says.
“Hey.” Nick can hear her smiling brightly. “What'cha doing?”
“Thinking,” he responds, running his hand through his hair and sinking down into his mattress a little more; his back slides down the headboard.
“You should stop,” Miley whispers. Nick hears her clear her throat before continuing, “It doesn't look good on you.”
“Oh really?” He raises his eyebrows as high as they can go, even though she can't see him. He's a little surprised that she sounds so awake, but he feels like he could talk to her for hours tonight- he gets to sleep in tomorrow anyway.
“Yep. Girls like dumb boys.”
Nick waits for a moment, wondering if it's too easy or not. “So that makes Justin…”
“Nicholas!” She sounds really surprised and a little offended, but he can hear her laughter on the other end of the line and can't help but smile. “Justin is not stupid.”
“If you say so,” Nick says nonchalantly. He slings his arm over his head and feels the stretch in his side. Talking to her like this- before they fall asleep- reminds him of when they were dating. He wonders if the douchebag ever called her before she went to bed, and he wonders what it means that the douchebag obviously doesn't anymore.
“I bet he could beat you at anything.”
“Set it up and I'll be there.” Nick’s sure he could take the douchebag. And if not, he could always call in Joe for backup.
“You really are a moron.”
“Does that mean you like me?” He smirks down the line, feeling really good about himself.
“I only like musicians,” she replies. And Nick's pretty sure his heart just skipped a beat. He didn't expect her voice to sound so sweet and thick. He thought she'd just laugh a little and keep things light. He's really happy she didn't. “Can you play guitar?”
“Damn. I knew I should have learned.” Nick sits up a little straighter, hoping it will help him think better throughout this phone call. He needs to be on his toes with Miley- she's quick.
“That's too bad,” Miley replies, her voice threaded with fake disappointment. “You sound really cute.”
Nick isn't sure why he feels his stomach turn over. “Do I?” He pauses for a second, hoping he's affecting her as much as she's getting to him. “What if I told you I can play the drums?”
“That's hot.”
He can't think of anything to say to that, so he chuckles, “I'm sorry. I didn't know I was talking to Paris Hilton.”
“Oh, I know you have a thing for her,” Miley says airily, like it's some sort of common knowledge, even though she knows full well how much of a lie it is.
Nick flexes his toes to keep them from falling asleep and presses his lips together. “Nah, I prefer girls who aren’t named after cities.”
“I see. You prefer girls named after their dads.”
“Exactly,” Nick whispers, pressing the phone closer to his ear. Miley's breathing seems to stop for a moment- and then comes back normally. He feels very content, a little tired now, but good. Talking to Miley always makes his head buzz a little bit--in the best way.
“Justin thinks we stopped talking,” Miley spits out suddenly.
Nick has not idea why she said that. It doesn't really make a difference to him either way. “Why does he think that?”
“Because I promised him we wouldn't be friends anymore,” Miley whispers.
It hurts. But he thinks about how important to her he must be if she's still speaking to him so regularly. He also kind of likes that she's hiding their relationship- friendship- from the douchebag, it makes him feel like he’s really starting to get to her. “Well,” Nick waits a beat, his words coming out low and husky, “we could be secret friends.”
A pregnant silence takes over and Nick wonders if maybe that was too much. But then again, it's not his fault if Miley's mind is next to his in the gutter.
“Yeah, that'd be nice.”
Nick wishes he could see her in person, study her face. Because she sounds the way she does after she’s been kissed for a long time, and he really loves when her voice gets like that.
*
When Miley calls him Nick picks up the phone eagerly, more than happy to hear from her in the middle of the day. He expected her to simply respond to the text he sent a few minutes ago, but calls are better. “Hey?” he asks, because he's still a little confused.
“Nick,” she chokes out. He can hear how dry her throat sounds, how strangled, as if she's trying her best not to cry.
“What's wrong?” He's really worried about her. He has no idea what could make her sound like this. He knows he has things to do today, really important things, but he'd definitely come over to her house tonight- granted, it'd be really late- if she needed him. He's determined to show her that he'll be there for her.
“We can't talk anymore,” she exhales quickly, as though she's gasping for breath, and Nick feels his heart drop to his knees.
“What?” he whispers, “Why not?” He wonders how he's still breathing normally at this point.
“Justin,” she takes in a huge gulp of air, but Nick can hear her clearly. “knows we’ve been talking. And I need to,” she pauses, her breathing erratic, her voice coming in waves, “make it work with him.”
“Oh. Okay,” Nick says. He doesn't know what else he could possibly do.
It's over. He just can't believe she would do this. He thought that even if nothing happened- even if they simply stayed friends- she wouldn't cut him off. Part of him thinks he deserves this after last year, but part of him is crushed. He's not angry; he can't be angry when she's practically sobbing down the line.
“I'm sorry.” She sounds utterly sincere, and Nick is finding it really hard to believe this is actually happening. He's waiting for her to laugh and say it was all a big joke, even though he knows that she won't.
“Bye,” he whispers at last. Kevin's coming over to ask what's taking so long, and Nick's not sure what he expects Miley to do.
“Bye.”
The call is over.
*
Everyone spends the rest of the day walking on eggshells around him and acting far too nice. Even his mom, who hugs him a lot more than usual, not saying anything about how she told him so, even if she did. He wishes they'd just treat him normally: Joe joking about everything, Kevin trying to get Joe to take things seriously, texting Danielle every hour or so, his mom watching from the sidelines, smiling and talking to everyone, making sure things go smoothly. He thinks it'd help make everything feel normal. He doesn't like how he's feeling right now, and he keeps checking his levels, so that's not it.
Nick didn't realize what if felt like to feel so broken.
He hopes Miley's doing better.
*