Sex worker and geek
Considering the recent controversy on this comm, I thought I would link to my friend Aeryn's blog post about being a sex worker and being a geek and combining the two. My intention isn't to engage in shit-stirring, but I know her to be a very engaged and aware feminist - and is definitely not suffering under internalised misogyny. I think she writes very clearly about how she feels dismissed by many feminists as merely being a tool of the patriarchy and the ways in which people remove her agency from the situation.
There are so many offensive stereotypes and perceptions about female gamers and even more about adult workers like me who make their hobbies like gaming openly part of their lives or career. The assumption is generally that I’m just some airhead trying to make money off a niche I know nothing about. Except that of course I’m not an airhead and I know exactly what I’m talking about when it comes to things that I enjoy like gaming.
As a pro non-exploitive pornography feminist my business and the way I present myself online is very important to me. There is too much porn that is degrading and demeaning, which forces women to completely disregard their own personalities, interests and sexual enjoyments for the benefit of male consumers. It asks them to become the stereotype of the always ready bimbo with no real depth or personality. This is something I do not want for my business or for myself. My work isn’t just a job; it’s incredibly personal. I put myself completely into my work and I don’t pretend to be anything but what I am. My work is about real sexuality, respect, love and sensuality. I often talk about and plan my work around my hobbies and interests, which are mainly fashion and gaming and even taking my work out of the equation these things are big part of my life and I want to show that to the world.
Stop Judging Me! The Sexy Nerd / Gamer Girl Hate Phenomenon (Please note that her website is generally NSFW, although that one post contains very little by way of nudity)
I will C&P my comment (currently awaiting moderation) to the post which is basically my 2 cents on the matter:
I see much of the hostility as an inability to discern between micro and macro problematic (*coughshamelessplugcough*). Because of the large amount of sexism in the games industry people - and often self-proclaimed feminists - will overlook instances where a woman is using her own agency to express their sexuality and geekery.
I (obviously) don’t think there’s any problem with selling sex appeal, but most of the “sex appeal” produced in the geek and gamer community are the exploitative selling of the idea of women by men. When we look at the type of female characters in games we see cardboard cutouts with unrealistic outfits designed to show off as much skin as possible. And it is rare to see any sort of female character treated respectfully, much less a female character who expresses sexuality in a genuine way.
In that context I can see where the “anti sexy gamer girls” comes from. But the mistake is painting every single sexy, geeky female with the same brush. Because sex workers are not fictional characters being churned out by a male-dominated industry, they are real people. And while real people can have internalised misogyny, starting from that assumption just because someone chooses to be geeky and a sex worker is prejudiced, slut-shaming and condescending.
There are so many offensive stereotypes and perceptions about female gamers and even more about adult workers like me who make their hobbies like gaming openly part of their lives or career. The assumption is generally that I’m just some airhead trying to make money off a niche I know nothing about. Except that of course I’m not an airhead and I know exactly what I’m talking about when it comes to things that I enjoy like gaming.
As a pro non-exploitive pornography feminist my business and the way I present myself online is very important to me. There is too much porn that is degrading and demeaning, which forces women to completely disregard their own personalities, interests and sexual enjoyments for the benefit of male consumers. It asks them to become the stereotype of the always ready bimbo with no real depth or personality. This is something I do not want for my business or for myself. My work isn’t just a job; it’s incredibly personal. I put myself completely into my work and I don’t pretend to be anything but what I am. My work is about real sexuality, respect, love and sensuality. I often talk about and plan my work around my hobbies and interests, which are mainly fashion and gaming and even taking my work out of the equation these things are big part of my life and I want to show that to the world.
Stop Judging Me! The Sexy Nerd / Gamer Girl Hate Phenomenon (Please note that her website is generally NSFW, although that one post contains very little by way of nudity)
I will C&P my comment (currently awaiting moderation) to the post which is basically my 2 cents on the matter:
I see much of the hostility as an inability to discern between micro and macro problematic (*coughshamelessplugcough*). Because of the large amount of sexism in the games industry people - and often self-proclaimed feminists - will overlook instances where a woman is using her own agency to express their sexuality and geekery.
I (obviously) don’t think there’s any problem with selling sex appeal, but most of the “sex appeal” produced in the geek and gamer community are the exploitative selling of the idea of women by men. When we look at the type of female characters in games we see cardboard cutouts with unrealistic outfits designed to show off as much skin as possible. And it is rare to see any sort of female character treated respectfully, much less a female character who expresses sexuality in a genuine way.
In that context I can see where the “anti sexy gamer girls” comes from. But the mistake is painting every single sexy, geeky female with the same brush. Because sex workers are not fictional characters being churned out by a male-dominated industry, they are real people. And while real people can have internalised misogyny, starting from that assumption just because someone chooses to be geeky and a sex worker is prejudiced, slut-shaming and condescending.