Book 5, Chapter 4: Science and Progress (3/3)
Title: Science and Progress (3/3)
Authors: kiltsandlollies and escribo
Characters: Billy/Dominic
Word count: 5288
Summary: Immediately follows this.
Index
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Billy drives home in a slight daze, humming along with the radio and tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel in time to the music. He's well aware that he's in denial about the possibility that Cate will refuse to take Dominic as a student, but thoughts of her icy blue eyes raking over Dominic as he asks to move to her lecture stay with him. He’s got no real cause for concern, and he knows it; his discomfort with Professor Blanchett has absolutely nothing to do with her teaching style, and he's heard good things in passing about her interactions with students. She is demanding and chilly, but also quick to smile when her students suddenly understand a new concept, and quicker to laugh at the odd cheeky remark in class. Billy had been telling the truth when he’d told Dominic that he’d might be better off in her section.
Still, the thoughts remain. Billy can’t shake them even as he snags a decent parking space on his street and gathers his briefcase and the large box of takeout dinner from the car. The house is quiet and a bit cold, but not enough to merit a fire, Billy thinks; good thing, too, because he’s not got the patience to make a proper one tonight. He leaves case and coat on the narrow table in his front hall and wanders into the kitchen with the mail, peering through it distractedly once he’s left dinner on the counter. Bills and papers, one thin airmail letter, and a notice that his chimney’s due for a visit from a sweep don’t demand much of his attention, and so Billy abandons them all to the mercy of his already cluttered desk and reaches in their place for a bottle of red wine and two glasses, pouring one before he can think too hard about whether he should and calling it a reward for not having a cigarette instead.
Easing down into the couch, Billy toes off his shoes and closes his eyes. Dominic can’t be much longer, and with any luck he’d finished the work he wanted to do after he spoke to Cate.Once he’s home and after they’ve eaten, there may be time and opportunity for Billy to make good on his threat to show Dominic again the benefits of stillness, as if either of them really needed reminding. The line between advisor and partner’s being crossed in about a hundred horrible ways in this, Billy knows, and he works hard to give a fuck but just can’t; he wants to make the rest of this last year as easy as possible for Dominic--for himself, too, if he’s being honest, and he’s not, not always--and suggesting a change in lecture sessions is no crime. If anything, this might make his own life more difficult, but he’ll manage that when and if it becomes necessary. Billy’s never believed himself anything other than the most selfish of men, and spending a bit of himself for someone’s else benefit is refreshing, especially when said someone makes it as worth the risk as Dominic so often has.
And that in itself is selfish, too, isn’t it, Billy thinks, but chooses to dwell on the diminishing wine in his glass rather than on that; he lets his eyes and mind wander in the direction of the bar again and falls into a sleepy reverie of wonder why man has yet to accomplish telekinesis, when the benefits of it are so clearly obvious, beginning with wine bottles floating their way back into his reach. The slam of the back door yanks him out of it, followed by the slap of Dominic’s shoes against the kitchen tile and Dominic’s near-shout of triumph when he turns the corner into the room.
"She said yes," Dominic laughs at Billy’s raised eyebrows and wide eyes. “You were right, she fucking said yes, and we’re sorted, Billy.”
Thank Christ, Billy thinks, rising to meet Dominic by the armchair and taking Dominic’s rucksack from him before Dominic pulls him close and tight for a hard, relieved. "Good, good," Billy sighs, stepping out of Dominic’s arms while Dominic laughs again. "It's like starting over, Dom. Another chance. Let’s get you something to drink."
Billy hands Dominic a glass of the wine and then disappears into the kitchen, returning with forks, napkins and their dinner. Before he sits down again, Billy walks around the front of the small house, turning off most of the lights and firing some of the candles. He can almost feel the tension leaving both his and Dominic's bodies, and when he settles back down on the couch with his own plate, Billy’s calmed even more by how relaxed Dominic's shoulders and back are, how quiet and indeed almost still Dominic has gone in the last few minutes, even still glowing with happiness now that he's found some escape from Stinson.
"Right," Billy sighs as he pours himself a fresh glass of wine. "Tell me you finished the essay, then tell me about Professor Blanchett."
“Fnished before I left, yeah,” Dominic says between bites, looking as if he’s not eaten in weeks rather than a few hours. “I made some changes to it and tried to catch all my mistakes but--” Dominic shrugs one shoulder and leans against the couch, watching Billy eat for a few moments before he continues. “Dr. Blanchett was nice. She gave me a schedule to help me try to catch up, but her section’s behind mine, anyway. She said she would find you about some paper you have to sign.”
Billy blinks; he should have expected that would happen and yet for whatever reason hadn’t. Not that he doesn’t think himself capable of professional interaction with Cate, especially for a cause as good as this one, but the thought of doing so still makes his shoulders rise a little, and Billy frowns at his own reaction, at the insanity of it, and then shakes it off, looking back at Dominic, whose own forehead is creased in worry.
“Do you think it was right not telling her that I have a hard time concentrating during lecture?” Dominic asks, not looking at Billy now. “And that I do that thing with switching letters and numbers. She said she was strict--”
“She is,” Billy says, then sets his mouth in a thin line, irritated with himself that he’s interrupted Dominic. Dominic doesn’t miss a beat, though; he just hums and continues.
“I don’t--want her to regret letting me switch to her section, like. Do you think it’ll be all right?”
"Provided you make your best effort and be honest when you’re having trouble," Billy says smoothly, willing himself to believe it, too. "There are no easy roads in the science department, Dom, and yes, she is tough, but from what I understand she's also very good. You owe her your attention and your absolute best effort. I told you I would help you with your concentration, Dom, and we both know you can work on the transposing by slowing down when you make your notes. Don't be afraid to ask her to repeat herself, and if you find yourself getting mired, go to her office hours. If you could find the courage to come see me, then you should have no trouble with her."
Dominic doesn’t look convinced, and Billy can understand why, but rather than play into that, Billy rests his plate on the table and leans forward a bit, elbows on his knees, and tilts his head Dominic’s way, lowering his voice. "You don’t need to tell her anything about yourself that she doesn't yet need to know, Dom. If an issue makes itself known and causes you real trouble, then you speak. Use your judgment. And for Christ's sake, don't skive off. Ever.” Dominic's little blush at his remarks makes Billy sigh again, but he laughs, too, and sits back again, curving one hand in a beckon. "Come here.”
Billy angles Dominic so that he rests with his back to Billy's chest, his long legs stretched out down to the end of the couch. Billy reaches for his glass and takes another drink of the wine before he pushes his fingers through Dominic's hair, stroking it lightly while he thinks. Dominic fidgets, getting more comfortable and huffing in mild frustration with himself and his thoughts, and finally Billy's hand falls to Dominic's shoulder, making Dominic look up in question.
"You need to be still," Billy says, his voice low again, and Dominic sighs but quiets himself, trying to relax, but it doesn’t last for more than a few minutes before he’s twisting around, one hand playing with the buttons on Billy’s shirt.
“Did I miss a lot in class? I already got the notes from Alexia, I just haven’t looked them over yet.”
"I answered a lot of questions about the essay," Billy sighs, relaxing a bit as well into Dominic's grip, one hand back in Dominic's hair, twisting it in his fingers. "And I spent at least ten minutes arguing about Boethius with Elijah, until I was just ready to-" Billy stops and closes his eyes. It’s too easy to fall into conversation about other students with Dominic, as if Dominic’s a colleague as well as a partner, but it’s also something Billy hates to do; it’s unfair to those students, even Elijah, and unfair to Dominic--he has to sit next to those classmates, knowing Billy's opinion of them. It's rare that Billy slips like this, and he always regrets it. That he’d survived the discussion with Elijah today without making either of them look like an idiot or causing the other students to shift too uncomfortably is the important thing; Billy doesn’t much like taking the high road in this one case, but he doesn’t have much choice, and by the end of the lecture Elijah had been his more recently typical laconic self; only flashes of his irritation remained in his eyes, and he’d stayed silent until he’d left the room. Whatever he might have said or done outside Billy’s lecture hall, Billy can’t care now, however hard it is not to.
"Doesn’t matter," he says, answering the unspoken question in Dominic’s stare. "It’s done, I’m done, I don't want to think about that fucking school tonight." Billy pulls Dominic down for a greedy kiss, and Dominic moves above him gratefully, still too wound up to relax, his hands moving up and down Billy’s sides until Billy turns his chin and catches Dominic’s wrists in his hands and goes still, waiting for Dominic to read the command.
"So impatient," Billy murmurs, tightening his grip just hard enough that Dominic’s breath stutters as he registers the difference. Dominic drops his hips, but the rest of his body is tense, the struggle just under the surface of his skin. Heat floods Billy’s veins, but he forces himself not to move other than for one more small tilt of his head. “I want you still, Dom. ‘s like you’ve forgotten how.”
Dominic shakes his head and doesn’t meet Billy’s eyes; he rests his forehead against Billy’s shoulder and breathes deep. “‘m trying,” he says quietly, and then it’s Billy’s turn to shake his head, tching softly under his breath.
“You’re going to do a lot more than try." He sits up, bringing Dominic up with him, and then leans Dominic back into the opposite cushions, legs bent at the knee with his calves beneath his thighs. It’s a position that won’t afford Dominic much freedom of movement, but he doesn’t fight it, and Billy offers him just enough of a smile to encourage more and better. Billy settles above Dominic, his fingers still tight around Dominic's wrists, and thinks his plan through a bit, watching Dominic's tongue sweep across his lips nervously. After a moment Billy nods and moves Dominic’s hands above his head, right hand circling to capture left wrist. "Keep them there," Billy murmurs, pressing down with the heel of his own right hand, and Dominic bites his lip but nods, arching and sweating a little already from this early minimal effort.
Billy's hands move to Dominic's chest, letting the warmth from his hands permeate the fabric of Dominic’s shirt, and waits for the slow change in Dominic's breathing before he shifts back, drawing a warm trail of his lips down Dominic's jaw to his throat and just above the neck of the shirt. It’s not any easier to hold this position than the one Billy’s set Dominic, but Billy works at it, keeping their bodies from touching anywhere but along the route he’s mapped for them. Dominic’s arms are rigid now, the fingers of his free hand grasping the cushion under his head tightly as he closes his eyes and pushes his hips back down, fighting with himself to be still. Billy’s fascinated by the struggle but doesn’t ease it; testing Dominic like this is a gift for both of them, one Billy’s happy to give and receive, even when one result of it comes in hearing his own name hissed from between Dominic’s teeth like a Northerner’s curse. Billy bares his own teeth in a smile against Dominic’s skin, and Dominic exhales, lifting his hips again, looking for more contact than Billy is willing to give at the moment. His hands remain still, though, Billy can see with more than a little appreciation and pleasure; they’re still clenched above Dominic’s head, going white at the knuckles and a mottled red everywhere else.
Billy’s concentration of them allows Dominic a moment’s respite from Billy’s warmer touch, and he takes advantage, shifting so that he can finally make that contact he’s craving; both his and Billy’s stomach are slightly bared now from their twists and turns, and when Dominic’s moves against Billy’s they both inhale sharply, and Billy’s eyes narrow as he shoves Dominic back down.
“I didn’t move my hands,” Dominic says quietly after he’s settled again, only his jackrabbit pulse evidence of what the rest of his body would do given another chance. Billy tches again but can’t find it in himself to scold properly; that little transgression had felt brilliant enough that it doesn’t merit punishment, though the next just might.
"Too busy moving everything else," Billy murmurs, enjoying the flush that moves over Dominic’s face as he closes his eyes again. Billy leans to kiss Dominic harder, pulling away before Dominic can demand more and tugging at Dominic’s shirt, raising Dominic to sit so he can remove it. Billy uncurls Dominic's fingers, freeing him for the moment, and then he pulls the shirt off to expose Dominic's strong, wiry chest, warm now from Billy's touch and Dominic’s own eagerness. Billy presses Dominic back down into the cushions, shifts his hands above his head again, and returns to his task, his mouth trailing down Dominic's throat and on to his chest.
"There you are, yeah?" Billy says after he’s had his fill and Dominic’s relaxed again. Working open Dominic's now slightly dampened, slightly constricting jeans takes the sort of concentration Billy’s not sure he got, but he manages it, keeping his voice calm as he pulls at the denim and leans back down, his lips near Dominic’s. "This is not about me just fucking you, Dominic. It's about keeping focus on right now and not rushing through any of it. Paying attention and feeling all of it. ‘s the only way t’learn, isn’t it.”
“I love you, Billy,” Dominic whispers, and Billy nods, knowing Dominic can’t see him do so but wanting that moment’s pause to ratchet the tension back up in Dominic’s body, prickling his skin and making him shiver again.
“So remember that and show me,” Billy says finally, rising a little, and Dominic shifts too, covering his face with his forearms as it burns red. Billy lets one hand fall to Dominic’s chest, fingers brushing over Dominic's nipples lightly, and watches Dominic hold back another choked breath. “Be still," Billy says again, the couch punctuating his words with a creaking sigh as he moves backward, his hands now on Dominic’s thighs and his lips warm against the dusty brown patch of hair above Dominic’s shaft. It’s something of a loss that Dominic’s covering his face; Billy would love to see what every minute of this is doing to him, but feeling it is enough--there are limits even to Billy’s greed. For now he can be content moving lips and teeth over Dominic’s skin, savouring Dominic's unique taste and smell and feel, lost in his own little world while Dominic breathes hard above him, as still as he possibly ever will be.
It goes on forever, Billy being sure not to let his hands and lips wander anywhere near Dominic's cock, until finally Billy looks up from his work to see Dominic's body glossy with sweat and his face flushed hard and needy now. It’s an incredible sight, a brilliant state Billy never tires of forcing on them both, and he has to close his own eyes to keep from grinding against Dominic and covering that reddened face with kisses.
"Open your eyes, Dominic," Billy says sharply as he rises, his hand closing around Dominic's forearm as he moves it from Dominic's face and pushes it back above Dominic’s head. A soft noise of desperation escapes Dominic’s lips and he tenses just a bit more, controlling his body when he seems to recover and remember that he’s not been given permission to move. Relief moves over him as Billy stretches out fully above him, carrying most of his weight on his hands and arms, but letting their bodies meet finally. Dominic goes pliant immediately, as relaxed as if it’s turned morning and he’s being drawn easily into Billy’s hands. His arms fall loose and relaxed above his head, and he focuses on Billy's eyes, his smile weak but genuine as he shares the same warm, wine-tinged breaths with Billy.
Billy captures one of Dominic's hands again, this time leading it to his own waist. Billy rids himself of his shirt while Dominic urges open Billy’s trousers, licking his lips as Billy shakes them loose with a flourish, kicking them and his boxers off and to the floor before he descends on Dominic again, kissing him at once fiercely, then with the sort of maddening tenderness he knows Dominic loves but can’t bear like this for long, changing the rhythm so Dominic can’t expect or control it any more than he could Billy himself.
Which is not to say Dominic doesn’t try; clearly thinking he’s earned right and reason to do so now, Dominic squirms beneath Billy, spreading his thighs more though the movement costs him; Billy sees the strain in Dominic’s muscles and exhales a little in another happy appreciation of it, but then he shakes his head and takes Dominic’s wrists again and lowers his own body to rest more heavily on Dominic’s, keeping him still now by force. Dominic releases another frustrated noise but surrenders, pliant again over the long seconds that follow until Billy wraps the fingers of Dominic’s left hand around his right wrist this time and pushes Dominic’s hands hard back against the couch.
Billy has to concentrate again now, this time measuring his own breaths and eagerness and he lets his hand move between them to circle his own cock for the barest moment, sliding up and down and then away to press his thumb to Dominic’s lips. Dominic takes his cue beautifully, drawing Billy’s thumb between his teeth before he licks and sucks deeper, harder, nearly fighting it when Billy draws his thumb back but then relaxing again when he’s presented with two more of Billy’s fingers, taking them deep while Billy watches, his free hand around his cock again, caressing himself slowly and letting his breath go shallow. Dominic opens his eyes when Billy shifts back and taken one hand away while the other opens, moving to gather Dominic's cock against his own. Billy can barely see Dominic's expression through his own fog of need, but if the heat between them is any indication, then they’ve done this right; they’re well beyond any need for stillness, but Dominic’s still working to give that to Billy, just barely resisting thrusting into Billy’s palm and against Billy’s cock. Billy revels in it a bit, nearly forgetting what he’d meant to accomplish here, and then he releases Dominic, dragging him up to kiss him roughly while Dominic breaks, too, shivering as his hands and lips move everywhere they can reach on Billy.
“I was--” Dominic starts, and then catches his breath, touching his forehead to Billy’s shoulder again while Billy’s hands slide down his overheated skin. “I tried. Billy, I can’t--”
“You can,” Billy murmurs, nudging against him. “And y’did. You’re not finished, either.” Dominic goes still beside him again, this time with exhausted fear coming off him, but he shakes it off before Billy can do it for him, energy rising back up with Dominic’s eyes as they meet Billy’s. Billy waits him out; the little electricity of challenge crackles between them, and the temptation to give under it it almost overwhelming now--a part of Billy knows there’s no danger in doing so, and that part allows him to blink first, falling back with his eyes to the ceiling and his own low, chattering laughter in his ears as Dominic moves on him, pushing at Billy’s hands the way Billy had captured his and straddling Billy hard, grinding his hips and cock against Billy’s while he stutters out curses.
“Be fucking still,” Dominic gasps, shaking his head. “Can’t do this, I can’t do anything without you--”
“Never asked you to--”
“Too busy asking for everything else.” Dominic takes a deeper breath and stares at Billy gone entirely still beneath him. The flash of envy in Dominic’s eyes is fantastic, a shocking blue that will haunt Billy for a long while after this, and Billy forces himself not to blink again or move at all; he can do this, even if only as an example and not an ideal. Dominic closes his eyes finally, and Billy smiles, watching him gather his strength again.
“Were you looking for a fight, Dominic?”
“No.” Dominic shakes his head wildly. “I want--I did what you told me, I just want this now, I just want you--”
“Last I looked, y’had me, didn’t you.” Dominic opens his eyes again, another challenge bright and clear in them, and Billy nods. “Take responsibility, Dominic; you’re not finished.” Billy moves his hips, shoving roughly against Dominic at the word, and Dominic groans, distracted enough that Billy can work his thinner wrists from Dominic's sweaty grasp and reach for Dominic’s hips.
“I can’t--”
“You can.” Not tonight, though, Billy thinks suddenly as Dominic shivers again; not tonight, but soon enough Dominic will take control and responsibility and everything else he needs; this small surrender he’s given tonight is all Billy wanted to see and take from him, and anything else will wait. For possibly the first time, Billy can imagine their roles in the future relaxed if not reversed, and once that thought clears, Billy’s own grip eases, his hand rising from Dominic’s hips to his face, pushing gently at Dominic’s chin. “Dominic.”
“Please,” Dominic whispers, and Billy pulls him down for one more hard kiss, nodding when he pulls away. Billy rises a little and Dominic does too, sagging against Billy once they’re both sitting up. Billy allows it for a long while, until Dominic’s restlessness bests his exhaustion and his hands find Billy’s waist greedily, his cock still hard and his breaths coming faster. Billy takes the seconds needed to regroup and swallows, pushing one hand again up into Dominic’s hair and tugging hard.
“On your knees,” Billy says quietly, and Dominic scrambles from him and to the floor, his fingernails digging already into the carpet and his back arched desperately. Billy’s no longer surprised to see the wave of relief and desire washing over Dominic this way, but every time it’s different, every time there’s something new and astonishing about how beautifully Dominic gives and takes at once, and as Billy turns away from him only long enough to find the small stash of what they need now, he grits his teeth in warning to himself not to forget that, to grow complacent or become so accustomed that it no longer feels like the gift it is. That won’t happen, he determines, his hands now moving to rest on Dominic’s back. It won’t, and can’t.
Those thoughts shut down, Billy relishes those that come in their place; Dominic’s presented himself so perfectly before him that it’s a struggle not to simply push inside that heat and be fucking absorbed. He runs his hands down Dominic's back, making slow progress to his ass, where his fingers play and dance on Dominic's skin. When he presses two of them inside Dominic, warm and slick and searching and testing harder and more quickly than usual, Dominic hisses, and Billy's left hand clamps down on Dominic's hip.
"Settle," he says sharply; there’s no reason to temper anything now. "Be grateful I haven’t got an extra set of hands, Dominic; the damage I’d do you while the rest of me fucks you blind.” Billy cuts himself off, pressing inside Dominic at a murderously slow pace, drawing it out even as his own body shakes with impatience. His hands wander to Dominic's waist, his stomach, anywhere but where Dominic wants them most, and Billy watches a drop of sweat fall from his own forehead to Dominic's shoulder blade before he pushes forward as hard as he can.
“I love you,” Dominic says again, the words almost lost between Billy’s hard breaths. “Love you like this.”
Billy shakes his head; he can’t hear it now, not when he can’t respond the way he should or any way other than with the scattered brush of his hand over Dominic’s back. Dominic registers it and murmurs something else Billy doesn’t understand or can’t. Billy shoves into Dominic repeatedly, until his own knees begin to lock and his thighs are begging for mercy. Billy breathes hard and catches Dominic's hand before it can reach his cock, smacking it away and replacing it with his own, circling around Dominic’s shaft and working them both through it. Dominic’s pleas are gentler than possibly ever before, but cut through Billy’s own gasps nonetheless; he counts at least four before he strokes Dominic hard and Dominic staggers, coming thickly in Billy’s hand and unable to stop moving against it until Billy releases him almost to his chest and stomach on the carpet. It’s the hardest they’ve gone at this in some time, and Billy knows he’s only holding himself back as a test of himself now; Dominic knows it, too, begging Billy this time to let go over and over again until he’s got no words left, only more shivers and gasps that finally send Billy reeling, too, shocked into near silence by how hard it is to do just that, let go, and how brilliant and exhausting it feels when he’s no longer got any choice.
The next shock comes several minutes later, but is easier to take. Billy manages to slide from Dominic with more care than either could have expected of him by this point, but Dominic’s eyes are already open again when Billy finds the courage to look their way, and he’s risen on one hand and his hip well before Billy’s had the chance or strength to lead him to do so. When Billy struggles to his own knees, something in Dominic gives way again, and this time Billy catches it and him; Dominic laughs but recognizes Billy’s concern, lightheaded but smiling, shaking away Billy’s question before he can speak.
“I'm not hurt. Just tired." Dominic tries to sit up, but sinks back down again, allowing himself to be caught. "Need some sleep, that's all it is. We were fucking brilliant, weren’t we."
Billy nods and lets Dominic rest, feeling his own eyes closing and his hand caressing Dominic's skin until the adrenaline’s left and the cold of the room comes over him. Dominic moves closer, as if he’s felt the chill, too, but before Billy can bring them both to their feet, Dominic speaks, low and soft against Billy’s chest.
"I talked to my mum and dad a few days ago,” Dominic murmurs. Billy’s eyes open wide but stare into the cold fireplace rather than down at Dominic, waiting for more. “I wish I could introduce you to them. I mean, I wish things were different between me and them. Between all of us.” Billy feels Dominic rub the heels of his hands into his eyes tiredly before he looks down to see it, and knows Dominic’s struggling to speak clearly now, to even stay awake. "If they could see how good it was, Billy--if they knew I was happy and you--wanted this, like. They’d figure it out, they’d just--get it. And me. And then it would be one fucking thing I didn’t have to think about anymore, and everything else would just get--easier."
"Dominic ..." Billy begins, then thinks better of it, biting the words back and just pressing his lips to Dominic’s hair for a long moment before he sits back. “Can you stand?”
Dominic can, after a fashion; Billy moves them both toward the bathroom first, into a shower only warm enough to relax them; the bedroom’s a more welcome destination, and when Dominic falls to his back on the mattress with a low sigh, Billy’s tempted to just join him there immediately, forgetting the responsibility he still has to both of them. It doesn’t take long to douse candles and the remaining lights and recheck locks and temperature, but Dominic’s half-asleep by the time Billy returns nonetheless. Billy shifts the duvet around and over him, sliding into the sheets himself with a noise suited to an older, tired man with older, tired muscles and doesn’t fight it when Dominic curls into his side, not even in jest.
"I wish it were that simple," Billy says softly, half-hoping Dominic’s fallen asleep and can’t hear his thoughts and words returning to Dominic’s earlier, rambling wish. "If you want that, Dom, if you want them to know and--see us, yeah? Wait for the spring. After you’ve finished. Let yourself have that moment; let them have it, too, let them see what you've accomplished before you spring anything new on them. I’m not going anywhere, am I. Neither are you."
Dominic shakes his head, more awake than Billy’s given him credit for. “Don’t want to, either.”
“It’s not that long,” Billy says, again as if he’s convincing himself, too. “I’ve only got my sister, though. T’meet you, I mean. She knows about us, some of it; I can’t tell anyone everything, can I.” Billy pauses and takes a deep breath, summoning more courage than he’s got this late. It feels like a strange turning point, this, and his grip on Dominic goes tight again before he continues. “I’m trying, Dom; we’ll get there. Soon.”
“Spring,” Dominic murmurs, and it only takes Billy minutes to follow him into sleep, into stillness neither thought they’d find or achieve.
Authors: kiltsandlollies and escribo
Characters: Billy/Dominic
Word count: 5288
Summary: Immediately follows this.
Index
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Billy drives home in a slight daze, humming along with the radio and tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel in time to the music. He's well aware that he's in denial about the possibility that Cate will refuse to take Dominic as a student, but thoughts of her icy blue eyes raking over Dominic as he asks to move to her lecture stay with him. He’s got no real cause for concern, and he knows it; his discomfort with Professor Blanchett has absolutely nothing to do with her teaching style, and he's heard good things in passing about her interactions with students. She is demanding and chilly, but also quick to smile when her students suddenly understand a new concept, and quicker to laugh at the odd cheeky remark in class. Billy had been telling the truth when he’d told Dominic that he’d might be better off in her section.
Still, the thoughts remain. Billy can’t shake them even as he snags a decent parking space on his street and gathers his briefcase and the large box of takeout dinner from the car. The house is quiet and a bit cold, but not enough to merit a fire, Billy thinks; good thing, too, because he’s not got the patience to make a proper one tonight. He leaves case and coat on the narrow table in his front hall and wanders into the kitchen with the mail, peering through it distractedly once he’s left dinner on the counter. Bills and papers, one thin airmail letter, and a notice that his chimney’s due for a visit from a sweep don’t demand much of his attention, and so Billy abandons them all to the mercy of his already cluttered desk and reaches in their place for a bottle of red wine and two glasses, pouring one before he can think too hard about whether he should and calling it a reward for not having a cigarette instead.
Easing down into the couch, Billy toes off his shoes and closes his eyes. Dominic can’t be much longer, and with any luck he’d finished the work he wanted to do after he spoke to Cate.Once he’s home and after they’ve eaten, there may be time and opportunity for Billy to make good on his threat to show Dominic again the benefits of stillness, as if either of them really needed reminding. The line between advisor and partner’s being crossed in about a hundred horrible ways in this, Billy knows, and he works hard to give a fuck but just can’t; he wants to make the rest of this last year as easy as possible for Dominic--for himself, too, if he’s being honest, and he’s not, not always--and suggesting a change in lecture sessions is no crime. If anything, this might make his own life more difficult, but he’ll manage that when and if it becomes necessary. Billy’s never believed himself anything other than the most selfish of men, and spending a bit of himself for someone’s else benefit is refreshing, especially when said someone makes it as worth the risk as Dominic so often has.
And that in itself is selfish, too, isn’t it, Billy thinks, but chooses to dwell on the diminishing wine in his glass rather than on that; he lets his eyes and mind wander in the direction of the bar again and falls into a sleepy reverie of wonder why man has yet to accomplish telekinesis, when the benefits of it are so clearly obvious, beginning with wine bottles floating their way back into his reach. The slam of the back door yanks him out of it, followed by the slap of Dominic’s shoes against the kitchen tile and Dominic’s near-shout of triumph when he turns the corner into the room.
"She said yes," Dominic laughs at Billy’s raised eyebrows and wide eyes. “You were right, she fucking said yes, and we’re sorted, Billy.”
Thank Christ, Billy thinks, rising to meet Dominic by the armchair and taking Dominic’s rucksack from him before Dominic pulls him close and tight for a hard, relieved. "Good, good," Billy sighs, stepping out of Dominic’s arms while Dominic laughs again. "It's like starting over, Dom. Another chance. Let’s get you something to drink."
Billy hands Dominic a glass of the wine and then disappears into the kitchen, returning with forks, napkins and their dinner. Before he sits down again, Billy walks around the front of the small house, turning off most of the lights and firing some of the candles. He can almost feel the tension leaving both his and Dominic's bodies, and when he settles back down on the couch with his own plate, Billy’s calmed even more by how relaxed Dominic's shoulders and back are, how quiet and indeed almost still Dominic has gone in the last few minutes, even still glowing with happiness now that he's found some escape from Stinson.
"Right," Billy sighs as he pours himself a fresh glass of wine. "Tell me you finished the essay, then tell me about Professor Blanchett."
“Fnished before I left, yeah,” Dominic says between bites, looking as if he’s not eaten in weeks rather than a few hours. “I made some changes to it and tried to catch all my mistakes but--” Dominic shrugs one shoulder and leans against the couch, watching Billy eat for a few moments before he continues. “Dr. Blanchett was nice. She gave me a schedule to help me try to catch up, but her section’s behind mine, anyway. She said she would find you about some paper you have to sign.”
Billy blinks; he should have expected that would happen and yet for whatever reason hadn’t. Not that he doesn’t think himself capable of professional interaction with Cate, especially for a cause as good as this one, but the thought of doing so still makes his shoulders rise a little, and Billy frowns at his own reaction, at the insanity of it, and then shakes it off, looking back at Dominic, whose own forehead is creased in worry.
“Do you think it was right not telling her that I have a hard time concentrating during lecture?” Dominic asks, not looking at Billy now. “And that I do that thing with switching letters and numbers. She said she was strict--”
“She is,” Billy says, then sets his mouth in a thin line, irritated with himself that he’s interrupted Dominic. Dominic doesn’t miss a beat, though; he just hums and continues.
“I don’t--want her to regret letting me switch to her section, like. Do you think it’ll be all right?”
"Provided you make your best effort and be honest when you’re having trouble," Billy says smoothly, willing himself to believe it, too. "There are no easy roads in the science department, Dom, and yes, she is tough, but from what I understand she's also very good. You owe her your attention and your absolute best effort. I told you I would help you with your concentration, Dom, and we both know you can work on the transposing by slowing down when you make your notes. Don't be afraid to ask her to repeat herself, and if you find yourself getting mired, go to her office hours. If you could find the courage to come see me, then you should have no trouble with her."
Dominic doesn’t look convinced, and Billy can understand why, but rather than play into that, Billy rests his plate on the table and leans forward a bit, elbows on his knees, and tilts his head Dominic’s way, lowering his voice. "You don’t need to tell her anything about yourself that she doesn't yet need to know, Dom. If an issue makes itself known and causes you real trouble, then you speak. Use your judgment. And for Christ's sake, don't skive off. Ever.” Dominic's little blush at his remarks makes Billy sigh again, but he laughs, too, and sits back again, curving one hand in a beckon. "Come here.”
Billy angles Dominic so that he rests with his back to Billy's chest, his long legs stretched out down to the end of the couch. Billy reaches for his glass and takes another drink of the wine before he pushes his fingers through Dominic's hair, stroking it lightly while he thinks. Dominic fidgets, getting more comfortable and huffing in mild frustration with himself and his thoughts, and finally Billy's hand falls to Dominic's shoulder, making Dominic look up in question.
"You need to be still," Billy says, his voice low again, and Dominic sighs but quiets himself, trying to relax, but it doesn’t last for more than a few minutes before he’s twisting around, one hand playing with the buttons on Billy’s shirt.
“Did I miss a lot in class? I already got the notes from Alexia, I just haven’t looked them over yet.”
"I answered a lot of questions about the essay," Billy sighs, relaxing a bit as well into Dominic's grip, one hand back in Dominic's hair, twisting it in his fingers. "And I spent at least ten minutes arguing about Boethius with Elijah, until I was just ready to-" Billy stops and closes his eyes. It’s too easy to fall into conversation about other students with Dominic, as if Dominic’s a colleague as well as a partner, but it’s also something Billy hates to do; it’s unfair to those students, even Elijah, and unfair to Dominic--he has to sit next to those classmates, knowing Billy's opinion of them. It's rare that Billy slips like this, and he always regrets it. That he’d survived the discussion with Elijah today without making either of them look like an idiot or causing the other students to shift too uncomfortably is the important thing; Billy doesn’t much like taking the high road in this one case, but he doesn’t have much choice, and by the end of the lecture Elijah had been his more recently typical laconic self; only flashes of his irritation remained in his eyes, and he’d stayed silent until he’d left the room. Whatever he might have said or done outside Billy’s lecture hall, Billy can’t care now, however hard it is not to.
"Doesn’t matter," he says, answering the unspoken question in Dominic’s stare. "It’s done, I’m done, I don't want to think about that fucking school tonight." Billy pulls Dominic down for a greedy kiss, and Dominic moves above him gratefully, still too wound up to relax, his hands moving up and down Billy’s sides until Billy turns his chin and catches Dominic’s wrists in his hands and goes still, waiting for Dominic to read the command.
"So impatient," Billy murmurs, tightening his grip just hard enough that Dominic’s breath stutters as he registers the difference. Dominic drops his hips, but the rest of his body is tense, the struggle just under the surface of his skin. Heat floods Billy’s veins, but he forces himself not to move other than for one more small tilt of his head. “I want you still, Dom. ‘s like you’ve forgotten how.”
Dominic shakes his head and doesn’t meet Billy’s eyes; he rests his forehead against Billy’s shoulder and breathes deep. “‘m trying,” he says quietly, and then it’s Billy’s turn to shake his head, tching softly under his breath.
“You’re going to do a lot more than try." He sits up, bringing Dominic up with him, and then leans Dominic back into the opposite cushions, legs bent at the knee with his calves beneath his thighs. It’s a position that won’t afford Dominic much freedom of movement, but he doesn’t fight it, and Billy offers him just enough of a smile to encourage more and better. Billy settles above Dominic, his fingers still tight around Dominic's wrists, and thinks his plan through a bit, watching Dominic's tongue sweep across his lips nervously. After a moment Billy nods and moves Dominic’s hands above his head, right hand circling to capture left wrist. "Keep them there," Billy murmurs, pressing down with the heel of his own right hand, and Dominic bites his lip but nods, arching and sweating a little already from this early minimal effort.
Billy's hands move to Dominic's chest, letting the warmth from his hands permeate the fabric of Dominic’s shirt, and waits for the slow change in Dominic's breathing before he shifts back, drawing a warm trail of his lips down Dominic's jaw to his throat and just above the neck of the shirt. It’s not any easier to hold this position than the one Billy’s set Dominic, but Billy works at it, keeping their bodies from touching anywhere but along the route he’s mapped for them. Dominic’s arms are rigid now, the fingers of his free hand grasping the cushion under his head tightly as he closes his eyes and pushes his hips back down, fighting with himself to be still. Billy’s fascinated by the struggle but doesn’t ease it; testing Dominic like this is a gift for both of them, one Billy’s happy to give and receive, even when one result of it comes in hearing his own name hissed from between Dominic’s teeth like a Northerner’s curse. Billy bares his own teeth in a smile against Dominic’s skin, and Dominic exhales, lifting his hips again, looking for more contact than Billy is willing to give at the moment. His hands remain still, though, Billy can see with more than a little appreciation and pleasure; they’re still clenched above Dominic’s head, going white at the knuckles and a mottled red everywhere else.
Billy’s concentration of them allows Dominic a moment’s respite from Billy’s warmer touch, and he takes advantage, shifting so that he can finally make that contact he’s craving; both his and Billy’s stomach are slightly bared now from their twists and turns, and when Dominic’s moves against Billy’s they both inhale sharply, and Billy’s eyes narrow as he shoves Dominic back down.
“I didn’t move my hands,” Dominic says quietly after he’s settled again, only his jackrabbit pulse evidence of what the rest of his body would do given another chance. Billy tches again but can’t find it in himself to scold properly; that little transgression had felt brilliant enough that it doesn’t merit punishment, though the next just might.
"Too busy moving everything else," Billy murmurs, enjoying the flush that moves over Dominic’s face as he closes his eyes again. Billy leans to kiss Dominic harder, pulling away before Dominic can demand more and tugging at Dominic’s shirt, raising Dominic to sit so he can remove it. Billy uncurls Dominic's fingers, freeing him for the moment, and then he pulls the shirt off to expose Dominic's strong, wiry chest, warm now from Billy's touch and Dominic’s own eagerness. Billy presses Dominic back down into the cushions, shifts his hands above his head again, and returns to his task, his mouth trailing down Dominic's throat and on to his chest.
"There you are, yeah?" Billy says after he’s had his fill and Dominic’s relaxed again. Working open Dominic's now slightly dampened, slightly constricting jeans takes the sort of concentration Billy’s not sure he got, but he manages it, keeping his voice calm as he pulls at the denim and leans back down, his lips near Dominic’s. "This is not about me just fucking you, Dominic. It's about keeping focus on right now and not rushing through any of it. Paying attention and feeling all of it. ‘s the only way t’learn, isn’t it.”
“I love you, Billy,” Dominic whispers, and Billy nods, knowing Dominic can’t see him do so but wanting that moment’s pause to ratchet the tension back up in Dominic’s body, prickling his skin and making him shiver again.
“So remember that and show me,” Billy says finally, rising a little, and Dominic shifts too, covering his face with his forearms as it burns red. Billy lets one hand fall to Dominic’s chest, fingers brushing over Dominic's nipples lightly, and watches Dominic hold back another choked breath. “Be still," Billy says again, the couch punctuating his words with a creaking sigh as he moves backward, his hands now on Dominic’s thighs and his lips warm against the dusty brown patch of hair above Dominic’s shaft. It’s something of a loss that Dominic’s covering his face; Billy would love to see what every minute of this is doing to him, but feeling it is enough--there are limits even to Billy’s greed. For now he can be content moving lips and teeth over Dominic’s skin, savouring Dominic's unique taste and smell and feel, lost in his own little world while Dominic breathes hard above him, as still as he possibly ever will be.
It goes on forever, Billy being sure not to let his hands and lips wander anywhere near Dominic's cock, until finally Billy looks up from his work to see Dominic's body glossy with sweat and his face flushed hard and needy now. It’s an incredible sight, a brilliant state Billy never tires of forcing on them both, and he has to close his own eyes to keep from grinding against Dominic and covering that reddened face with kisses.
"Open your eyes, Dominic," Billy says sharply as he rises, his hand closing around Dominic's forearm as he moves it from Dominic's face and pushes it back above Dominic’s head. A soft noise of desperation escapes Dominic’s lips and he tenses just a bit more, controlling his body when he seems to recover and remember that he’s not been given permission to move. Relief moves over him as Billy stretches out fully above him, carrying most of his weight on his hands and arms, but letting their bodies meet finally. Dominic goes pliant immediately, as relaxed as if it’s turned morning and he’s being drawn easily into Billy’s hands. His arms fall loose and relaxed above his head, and he focuses on Billy's eyes, his smile weak but genuine as he shares the same warm, wine-tinged breaths with Billy.
Billy captures one of Dominic's hands again, this time leading it to his own waist. Billy rids himself of his shirt while Dominic urges open Billy’s trousers, licking his lips as Billy shakes them loose with a flourish, kicking them and his boxers off and to the floor before he descends on Dominic again, kissing him at once fiercely, then with the sort of maddening tenderness he knows Dominic loves but can’t bear like this for long, changing the rhythm so Dominic can’t expect or control it any more than he could Billy himself.
Which is not to say Dominic doesn’t try; clearly thinking he’s earned right and reason to do so now, Dominic squirms beneath Billy, spreading his thighs more though the movement costs him; Billy sees the strain in Dominic’s muscles and exhales a little in another happy appreciation of it, but then he shakes his head and takes Dominic’s wrists again and lowers his own body to rest more heavily on Dominic’s, keeping him still now by force. Dominic releases another frustrated noise but surrenders, pliant again over the long seconds that follow until Billy wraps the fingers of Dominic’s left hand around his right wrist this time and pushes Dominic’s hands hard back against the couch.
Billy has to concentrate again now, this time measuring his own breaths and eagerness and he lets his hand move between them to circle his own cock for the barest moment, sliding up and down and then away to press his thumb to Dominic’s lips. Dominic takes his cue beautifully, drawing Billy’s thumb between his teeth before he licks and sucks deeper, harder, nearly fighting it when Billy draws his thumb back but then relaxing again when he’s presented with two more of Billy’s fingers, taking them deep while Billy watches, his free hand around his cock again, caressing himself slowly and letting his breath go shallow. Dominic opens his eyes when Billy shifts back and taken one hand away while the other opens, moving to gather Dominic's cock against his own. Billy can barely see Dominic's expression through his own fog of need, but if the heat between them is any indication, then they’ve done this right; they’re well beyond any need for stillness, but Dominic’s still working to give that to Billy, just barely resisting thrusting into Billy’s palm and against Billy’s cock. Billy revels in it a bit, nearly forgetting what he’d meant to accomplish here, and then he releases Dominic, dragging him up to kiss him roughly while Dominic breaks, too, shivering as his hands and lips move everywhere they can reach on Billy.
“I was--” Dominic starts, and then catches his breath, touching his forehead to Billy’s shoulder again while Billy’s hands slide down his overheated skin. “I tried. Billy, I can’t--”
“You can,” Billy murmurs, nudging against him. “And y’did. You’re not finished, either.” Dominic goes still beside him again, this time with exhausted fear coming off him, but he shakes it off before Billy can do it for him, energy rising back up with Dominic’s eyes as they meet Billy’s. Billy waits him out; the little electricity of challenge crackles between them, and the temptation to give under it it almost overwhelming now--a part of Billy knows there’s no danger in doing so, and that part allows him to blink first, falling back with his eyes to the ceiling and his own low, chattering laughter in his ears as Dominic moves on him, pushing at Billy’s hands the way Billy had captured his and straddling Billy hard, grinding his hips and cock against Billy’s while he stutters out curses.
“Be fucking still,” Dominic gasps, shaking his head. “Can’t do this, I can’t do anything without you--”
“Never asked you to--”
“Too busy asking for everything else.” Dominic takes a deeper breath and stares at Billy gone entirely still beneath him. The flash of envy in Dominic’s eyes is fantastic, a shocking blue that will haunt Billy for a long while after this, and Billy forces himself not to blink again or move at all; he can do this, even if only as an example and not an ideal. Dominic closes his eyes finally, and Billy smiles, watching him gather his strength again.
“Were you looking for a fight, Dominic?”
“No.” Dominic shakes his head wildly. “I want--I did what you told me, I just want this now, I just want you--”
“Last I looked, y’had me, didn’t you.” Dominic opens his eyes again, another challenge bright and clear in them, and Billy nods. “Take responsibility, Dominic; you’re not finished.” Billy moves his hips, shoving roughly against Dominic at the word, and Dominic groans, distracted enough that Billy can work his thinner wrists from Dominic's sweaty grasp and reach for Dominic’s hips.
“I can’t--”
“You can.” Not tonight, though, Billy thinks suddenly as Dominic shivers again; not tonight, but soon enough Dominic will take control and responsibility and everything else he needs; this small surrender he’s given tonight is all Billy wanted to see and take from him, and anything else will wait. For possibly the first time, Billy can imagine their roles in the future relaxed if not reversed, and once that thought clears, Billy’s own grip eases, his hand rising from Dominic’s hips to his face, pushing gently at Dominic’s chin. “Dominic.”
“Please,” Dominic whispers, and Billy pulls him down for one more hard kiss, nodding when he pulls away. Billy rises a little and Dominic does too, sagging against Billy once they’re both sitting up. Billy allows it for a long while, until Dominic’s restlessness bests his exhaustion and his hands find Billy’s waist greedily, his cock still hard and his breaths coming faster. Billy takes the seconds needed to regroup and swallows, pushing one hand again up into Dominic’s hair and tugging hard.
“On your knees,” Billy says quietly, and Dominic scrambles from him and to the floor, his fingernails digging already into the carpet and his back arched desperately. Billy’s no longer surprised to see the wave of relief and desire washing over Dominic this way, but every time it’s different, every time there’s something new and astonishing about how beautifully Dominic gives and takes at once, and as Billy turns away from him only long enough to find the small stash of what they need now, he grits his teeth in warning to himself not to forget that, to grow complacent or become so accustomed that it no longer feels like the gift it is. That won’t happen, he determines, his hands now moving to rest on Dominic’s back. It won’t, and can’t.
Those thoughts shut down, Billy relishes those that come in their place; Dominic’s presented himself so perfectly before him that it’s a struggle not to simply push inside that heat and be fucking absorbed. He runs his hands down Dominic's back, making slow progress to his ass, where his fingers play and dance on Dominic's skin. When he presses two of them inside Dominic, warm and slick and searching and testing harder and more quickly than usual, Dominic hisses, and Billy's left hand clamps down on Dominic's hip.
"Settle," he says sharply; there’s no reason to temper anything now. "Be grateful I haven’t got an extra set of hands, Dominic; the damage I’d do you while the rest of me fucks you blind.” Billy cuts himself off, pressing inside Dominic at a murderously slow pace, drawing it out even as his own body shakes with impatience. His hands wander to Dominic's waist, his stomach, anywhere but where Dominic wants them most, and Billy watches a drop of sweat fall from his own forehead to Dominic's shoulder blade before he pushes forward as hard as he can.
“I love you,” Dominic says again, the words almost lost between Billy’s hard breaths. “Love you like this.”
Billy shakes his head; he can’t hear it now, not when he can’t respond the way he should or any way other than with the scattered brush of his hand over Dominic’s back. Dominic registers it and murmurs something else Billy doesn’t understand or can’t. Billy shoves into Dominic repeatedly, until his own knees begin to lock and his thighs are begging for mercy. Billy breathes hard and catches Dominic's hand before it can reach his cock, smacking it away and replacing it with his own, circling around Dominic’s shaft and working them both through it. Dominic’s pleas are gentler than possibly ever before, but cut through Billy’s own gasps nonetheless; he counts at least four before he strokes Dominic hard and Dominic staggers, coming thickly in Billy’s hand and unable to stop moving against it until Billy releases him almost to his chest and stomach on the carpet. It’s the hardest they’ve gone at this in some time, and Billy knows he’s only holding himself back as a test of himself now; Dominic knows it, too, begging Billy this time to let go over and over again until he’s got no words left, only more shivers and gasps that finally send Billy reeling, too, shocked into near silence by how hard it is to do just that, let go, and how brilliant and exhausting it feels when he’s no longer got any choice.
The next shock comes several minutes later, but is easier to take. Billy manages to slide from Dominic with more care than either could have expected of him by this point, but Dominic’s eyes are already open again when Billy finds the courage to look their way, and he’s risen on one hand and his hip well before Billy’s had the chance or strength to lead him to do so. When Billy struggles to his own knees, something in Dominic gives way again, and this time Billy catches it and him; Dominic laughs but recognizes Billy’s concern, lightheaded but smiling, shaking away Billy’s question before he can speak.
“I'm not hurt. Just tired." Dominic tries to sit up, but sinks back down again, allowing himself to be caught. "Need some sleep, that's all it is. We were fucking brilliant, weren’t we."
Billy nods and lets Dominic rest, feeling his own eyes closing and his hand caressing Dominic's skin until the adrenaline’s left and the cold of the room comes over him. Dominic moves closer, as if he’s felt the chill, too, but before Billy can bring them both to their feet, Dominic speaks, low and soft against Billy’s chest.
"I talked to my mum and dad a few days ago,” Dominic murmurs. Billy’s eyes open wide but stare into the cold fireplace rather than down at Dominic, waiting for more. “I wish I could introduce you to them. I mean, I wish things were different between me and them. Between all of us.” Billy feels Dominic rub the heels of his hands into his eyes tiredly before he looks down to see it, and knows Dominic’s struggling to speak clearly now, to even stay awake. "If they could see how good it was, Billy--if they knew I was happy and you--wanted this, like. They’d figure it out, they’d just--get it. And me. And then it would be one fucking thing I didn’t have to think about anymore, and everything else would just get--easier."
"Dominic ..." Billy begins, then thinks better of it, biting the words back and just pressing his lips to Dominic’s hair for a long moment before he sits back. “Can you stand?”
Dominic can, after a fashion; Billy moves them both toward the bathroom first, into a shower only warm enough to relax them; the bedroom’s a more welcome destination, and when Dominic falls to his back on the mattress with a low sigh, Billy’s tempted to just join him there immediately, forgetting the responsibility he still has to both of them. It doesn’t take long to douse candles and the remaining lights and recheck locks and temperature, but Dominic’s half-asleep by the time Billy returns nonetheless. Billy shifts the duvet around and over him, sliding into the sheets himself with a noise suited to an older, tired man with older, tired muscles and doesn’t fight it when Dominic curls into his side, not even in jest.
"I wish it were that simple," Billy says softly, half-hoping Dominic’s fallen asleep and can’t hear his thoughts and words returning to Dominic’s earlier, rambling wish. "If you want that, Dom, if you want them to know and--see us, yeah? Wait for the spring. After you’ve finished. Let yourself have that moment; let them have it, too, let them see what you've accomplished before you spring anything new on them. I’m not going anywhere, am I. Neither are you."
Dominic shakes his head, more awake than Billy’s given him credit for. “Don’t want to, either.”
“It’s not that long,” Billy says, again as if he’s convincing himself, too. “I’ve only got my sister, though. T’meet you, I mean. She knows about us, some of it; I can’t tell anyone everything, can I.” Billy pauses and takes a deep breath, summoning more courage than he’s got this late. It feels like a strange turning point, this, and his grip on Dominic goes tight again before he continues. “I’m trying, Dom; we’ll get there. Soon.”
“Spring,” Dominic murmurs, and it only takes Billy minutes to follow him into sleep, into stillness neither thought they’d find or achieve.