I need to work less so I can actually do things again
So, I’m trying to write the post for what I’m going to offer in the livelongnmarry auction. And, okay, the idea is a little weird, but the porn battle came and went and I didn’t get over my weirdness about anything explicit, and then someone offered a bracelet out of Kushiel’s Dart, which I will admit I read, and I started thinking about auctions and virgin prices and whether or not I would agree to write smut for anyone who bid on fanfic that I offered… and here’s my idea. I’m going to offer my “virginity” to the highest bidder, and then at least the sex writing is for a good cause, right? And I don’t think that I’m uncomfortable writing the stuff so much as sharing it, because it seems weird to offer that stuff. But if someone bids on it, then they obviously want it…
Anyway, there are a few problems with actually offering this. I don’t have good examples of my writing, since I’ve barely finished anything in the past year. I have one Wicked fic that I’m moderately happy with, a few that I want to shred into little pieces, and… a lot of unfinished Spashley and Gelphie and Waldsen. So, I have to find a few things I don’t hate and then post them so that I can provide a link, which is problem number one.
Problem number two is that my brother keeps coming up behind me and refusing to leave, and just watching whatever I do on the computer over my shoulder. So I pretend I’m playing minesweeper, hoping he’ll get bored, but he just keeps watching. Ass.
The end result of this is that I ask him to leave, and he starts going on about how I must be watching porn and that’s why I don’t want him to see what I’m doing. My mom’s super-hearing engages at any mention of sex near the computer, like it has since the whole Willow/Tara fanfiction debacle a few years ago, and she asks what’s going on. Also, my catholic grandpa and fairly computer smart uncle are over. This is what ensues.
Mom: What’s going on?
Me: I’m trying to write Katy a letter and I’m talking with Liz on IM, and Chase won’t stop trying to read what I’m doing.
Mom: *looks torn, because she now suspects that Katy and I are dating/fucking, but likes Liz, despite the fact that she also thinks that Liz and I have sex, because Liz compliments her cooking and thanks her for letting her stay over.*
Chase: I was not! I was making sure she wasn’t watching porn.
Me: Which is why you watched me play minesweeper for fifteen minutes.
Mom: Were you watching porn?
Me: …no.
Grandpa: Do the even have male porn sites? I don’t think there would be much of a demand. Oh, maybe for the gays (this is a direct quote).
Uncle Rick: No, they do. You can find anything you want online. Especially sexual stuff.
*awkward silence*
So… anyway. Is two or three samples of writing enough? I’ve got one Spashley one, and then one Gelphie on that I’m happy with, and I could fix up another Wicked one, but then two out of three samples would be from the same fandom- and by the way, there is no Wicked tag?! What the fuck. Not cool. I am making one.
*exhales* Oh, and Candace, I want to bid on one of your oneshots (so I can make you write Gelphie) but I am not allowed to have cannot get paypal :(. I guess my parents are also scared of me buying shrooms online (or bidding on the entire series of Buffy on ebay... which happened one time, come on).
I’m also considering offering the sketchbook full of art… thing, but the problem is that my art is generally disorganized and mostly just colors and patterns lately, so I dunno if anyone would bid. I guess I could put it up and see…
When I get home, I’m going to start working on my Wicked fic exchange piece, also. I’m so excited/nervous for that. Hopefully I can pull off something better than what I’ve been producing lately.