(no subject)
on the cusp of anything important, i find it impossible to sleep. my life is a constant flux of personal and professional happiness and hardship. i'm either loved or ignored, making money or scraping by, climbing up or tumbling down. there is never a real sense of stasis or permanence. as soon as i write about a situation it seems to take on a life of its own, and i no longer have control over its course. i'm so confused and worn down.