subjective tomorrow

Sep 14, 2011 01:53

Technically I suppose it's my birthday now, given the time, but I'll go with the subjective point of view that it's my birthday tomorrow. :)

There are cakes. There is a cross-mapping status meeting. There will possibly be pizza in the evening. I'm still considering that. And there will probably be a post-work quick shopping trip for that special little boost that comes with wanton self-indulgence.

Hopefully there will not be a post-work rain shower like there was today. The weather forecast is promising nicer weather, so I'll cross my fingers.

Perhaps I'll go to York this Saturday. A cake from Betty's would be nice. Plus, well, shops.

---

It is my normal practice, when conducting my researches, not to reveal myself unless absolutely essential, both for practical reasons and for fear of harming the impartiality of my resulting observations. In this case, however, I was unable to hold back, and stepped forth from the cupboard, intent on remonstrating with the two young ladies for their abominable behaviour and then dishing out the soundest pair of spankings ever inflicted by male hand upon female posterior. Unfortunately, I placed my foot on a bar of soap, lost my balance and fell headlong into the bath, this to the accompaniment of shrieks and expressions of alarm from its occupants. The consequences of this misfortune you may imagine, but I know my duty, and took both young ladies to task in no uncertain manner, a process that would have been concluded more effectively had not the two drunken little moppets neglected to lock the bathroom door. As it was, his Grace, the butler, M--------, and the cook, Mrs W-----, entered to find me in the process of spanking Lady A------ while Lady S--- nursed her wet and reddened bottom, so that, far from bringing home the important moral lesson I was seeking to impose, I was obliged to leave by the window.

-- Curious Pleasures: A Gentleman's Collection of Beastliness, by the Rev'd Dr Erasmus St Jude Croom, DD
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