i barely breath for myself
This semester is finally over. I don't know anyone else that looks to finals week for a break. But I see it that way. I have finals on Monday and Wednesday and am finished. The summer semester starts the following Monday, but with one class, three mornings a week, and for only six weeks. Then it is just me, love, and the beach. I would include my new camera into this equation, had it actually arrived yet. I has been almost two weeks and there has been no sign of it. I view this as a problem.
I spent several hours these weeks helping Monica with her new house, cleaning and rearranging and unpacking, and today landscaping. I haven't touched my own room. It is just so easy to lend myself out, yet for myself, I am completely unmotivated. I tried to rig some stack n racks in my closet for pants and skirt storage, but failed miserable. I just have a mess of cable ties and a crooked "thing" hanging. I have a feeling I will skip right over my own project and eagerly plant perrenials at Monica's house. Whatever.
The things that have happened to me this week have been so defining, but I have had no drive to go into details. Whenever something huge happens I am left without words. I suppose I can at least give facts, if not perceptions. I worked myself into a hissy fit frenzy attempting to finish up the semester, spoke at a symposium on the death penalty, wound down with Nick, Monica, and some deep fried items, then stood outside the prison, in the cold, for several hours holding a sign that said, "Execution is not the solution." I woke up wrecked. I worked. The customers were mostly retarded. There are the facts. If you want feelings, ask me.
I woke up today happy, finally, no worries of papers not completed, multiple jobs on multiple days, or anything else.
I have a great deal of debt accumulated that just cannot pay itself off quickly enough. This breaks my heart because I used to be so great with money. It should take me two or three months to pay off, depending on how hard I work. I hate this. I should have just sucked it up and applied at Meijer in January, instead of trying to get a better job for so long, failing, then giving up and doing nothing. I made my mistake. I learned what credit cards combined witth unemployment can really do. Now I know better, or so I hope.
Once my room is clean it stays clean. Once my credit cards are paid off they will remain so. I will not skip anymore school. I will stop taking my many frustrations out on those who are not responsible. I will force Jose to pay me back my forty dollars. I will start stealing things and selling them on ebay. I will make sure to have tons more saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaex.
I spent several hours these weeks helping Monica with her new house, cleaning and rearranging and unpacking, and today landscaping. I haven't touched my own room. It is just so easy to lend myself out, yet for myself, I am completely unmotivated. I tried to rig some stack n racks in my closet for pants and skirt storage, but failed miserable. I just have a mess of cable ties and a crooked "thing" hanging. I have a feeling I will skip right over my own project and eagerly plant perrenials at Monica's house. Whatever.
The things that have happened to me this week have been so defining, but I have had no drive to go into details. Whenever something huge happens I am left without words. I suppose I can at least give facts, if not perceptions. I worked myself into a hissy fit frenzy attempting to finish up the semester, spoke at a symposium on the death penalty, wound down with Nick, Monica, and some deep fried items, then stood outside the prison, in the cold, for several hours holding a sign that said, "Execution is not the solution." I woke up wrecked. I worked. The customers were mostly retarded. There are the facts. If you want feelings, ask me.
I woke up today happy, finally, no worries of papers not completed, multiple jobs on multiple days, or anything else.
I have a great deal of debt accumulated that just cannot pay itself off quickly enough. This breaks my heart because I used to be so great with money. It should take me two or three months to pay off, depending on how hard I work. I hate this. I should have just sucked it up and applied at Meijer in January, instead of trying to get a better job for so long, failing, then giving up and doing nothing. I made my mistake. I learned what credit cards combined witth unemployment can really do. Now I know better, or so I hope.
Once my room is clean it stays clean. Once my credit cards are paid off they will remain so. I will not skip anymore school. I will stop taking my many frustrations out on those who are not responsible. I will force Jose to pay me back my forty dollars. I will start stealing things and selling them on ebay. I will make sure to have tons more saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaex.