this is for everyone but you...
yeh so thins weekend was what i would normally call a fun weekend but really i didnt have fun f anything im worse than before.... the only time i can say i really had fun was when me and chris and todd jammed in my basement... other than that i partied and slept... but really if anyone who reads this care about my well being at all thank chris and give him a hug because he saved my life tonight.... ive been really down lately and spent most of my time pretending i was happy which makes me even worse and tonight it all came together in a bigg ball of emotion and basically i was thinking about killing myself... and im not just doing this for attention im just tryin to be honest and you can say i am just being dramatic of trying to get ppl to care about me but im not.... i am not happy at all right now but chris said something before he droped me off that made me think before i acted and thats why im still here... basically after he dropped me off i sat in my room and cried ... i really dont know what to think anymore i thought i had things figured out lastnight and i thought i knew what i wanted but as of tonight i dont know anything... this post is only for livejournal becasue well i dont want stupid simpathy crap from god loving ppl... and im sure some christians will read this and prolly be offended but go ahead and be offended cause im sayin what i feel and if thats wrong i guess im going to hell because i fallowed my gut instinct. i mena i grew up the son of a pastor and the only thing i ever got from it was the realisation that christianity is no differnt from other religions they all think there right and they all think there the only way to save your soul from hell but really its all baised on a book... would it be any differnt if i based a religion off oh say lord of the flies or charles dickins...basically this is a big fuck you if your offended....this is the end of it all.... goodbye hopefully not forever now...