absolutely nothing come to think of it
there’s a furry little bunny running around in the grass outside my window. It brings that motherly feeling of warmth into my throat, but it does remind me of the other day when I accidentally mowed down that bunny while driving. It was quite depressing and I’ve taken to just telling people that I encountered a suicidal rabbit and refusing to elaborate. Terrible, but I don’t have time to worry about suicidal bunny encounters, because…
I seriously going insane. The other day I left my math book somewhere and now I have no idea where it is, and I’ve failed 3 days of math homework in a row because of it. No, but then I lost my Spanish binder, with all my stuff, and I can’t even remember when or where it disappeared. But this is not all, now I can’t find my makeup bag, with years work of collecting in it. Luckily I think it’s at Kali’s house. If not I would be devastated because as any girl can understand my makeup collection is created by years of careful adding and changing and tweaking, and switching out eyeliners for one that goes on more smoothly, and having to go BACK to the store because the foundation is too light for my skin (if that’s even possible). Ages of painstaking work, all in one cute little pink purse, possibly at the mercy of my dear friend. But I’m sure she understands the seriousness of the situation, I’ve known her to go into hysterics and drive an hour because she left her make-up somewhere. I think that if a guy were ever to see her without makeup, her head really might explode. Then she also refuses to eat in front of guys, ask where the bathroom is, or borrow money from them. It’s as if girls are supposed to be this weird species that do not eat or pee or have any body functions other than looking cute. Not that this is an unworthy goal, I myself have gone as far as many down the path to cuteness perfection. I haven’t resorted to coloring my hair yet, but someday when it isn’t as gorgeous I may. But this view of women is getting a bit ridiculous (although I’m not sure the men are actually causing it…). It’s like my friend Snavely said “Women should be born completely hairless!” Why exactly do we slice off, rip out, or dissolve most of the hair on our bodies? It is definitely beyond me. Not that I don’t do it, I just don’t know why I do. In fact I do a lot of things that I don’t know why I do them. At least I think I do, I can’t actually think of any. I suppose I sort of know why I rip the hair out, something to do with accentuating the gender differences of hairiness to seem hyper-feminine. But it is a lot of work for not a lot of difference. I don’t think it really matters anyway though seeing as I’m usually too lazy to do it anyway. Every once in a while I want to wear shorts, but with the approach of summer it will be a bit more important soon. Ah summer, a time of …sun? Yes, summer, with friends, swimming, free time, and most of all, sleep! I don’t thing you understand how important the sleeping really is. You see, I am in the International Baccalaureate Program, which in normal English means that I am a nerd with a lot of homework. I also actually have quite a few friends, ride horses with an intensive program named rather unintensely “Pony Club.” I have been known to spend hours playing videogames, to comment with words like “pwned” and too have codenamed playing Halo as playing “football.” Ah nerds, with our bio-chem threats (“give me your cookie” “no I’m covalently bonded with it” “Yea well, I’m very electronegative.”) and our video game conventions (PAX!). I really need a T-shirt, so people won’t mistake me for someone popular or something. But I mean this in the least positive light, for I believe that “popular people” are people that seem crappy, and people like them because being around them makes them feel good about themselves. Either that or they have something to offer, like being funny or rich. But then I don’t want to make the mistake that I was telling Hannah the other day is proliferated by teen girl books. Those books about girls who are miserable because everyone around them is stupid and doesn’t understand and doesn’t even think at all. The ironic thing is that all girls read these books and end up thinking that no one else thinks, and they treat other people like objects, which confirms all THOSE girl’s beliefs that other girls are mean and unthinking. Terrible vicious circle if you ask me. Which no one ever seems to do, which is very stupid because they would find that I’m right about everything because I have insights on life that they will never understand…
But this thought about all girls doing the same thing makes me worried about… well… worried about… what was I thinking about? I don’t really know, I started thinking about girls I see in the hallways, like this morning when I was walking after the Culminating Project meeting which is where we practice not being intelligent capable people and listen to people try and bull-shit their way through a presentation about a project that they have told us to do, but they haven’t finished deciding exactly what they want us to do for it. What they have done is make a list of what we’re not allowed to do for it, a list including jello wrestling, skydiving, and anything to do with weapons and flying aircraft. I really don’t know what they’re thinking with it, and why the hell did they specify that we cannot do jello-wrestling for a project and yet did not say that we cannot do, say, tomato fighting? I could graph the throw speed and accuracy of each person and then predict their performance in the fight. I could do similar things with jello-wrestling, so why did they mention that and not tomato fighting? I am perplexed. My other serious question is where the hell did they come up with jello wrestling?? I have never even heard of this. Why wasn’t I informed? They too obviously did not realize that my opinions are always exactly what should be done. There are so many things that if someone had just asked me, then so much could have been avoided. World War II for example. I could have told Hitler that killing millions would simply not end well for anyone involved. Especially him, seeing as he died in a ditch on fire. All this could have been avoided if I had been asked. But they did not ask me about the culminating project.
So I sat there listening to them talk about something they didn’t actually know anything about. I myself have done this many times, but at least I’m a bit more discreet about it. I was sitting there spacing out while they talked about.. well I don’t actually know what they were talking about due to the fact that I was tuning them out, but nonetheless I was staring out the window and the sky was blue. This was actually a lot less mundane than it sounds seeing as the sky hasn’t been blue since, id have to say since about 1987. But this brought home to me that fact that it was may, and therefore almost june, and therefore almost summer vacation, where I can practice not being intelligent and capable in a far more interesting fashion. Except that I sadly will be spending a lot of time attempting to be both smart and capable as I am doing something for pony club that is needless to say, intense. I am taking my C3, which I may very well fail, but I may as well ignore that fact and try very hard to convince people that I am a good enough rider and that I know all the horse information that I am supposed to. This will involve either a whole lot of studying or a whole lot of discreet B.S.ing and a good deal of bribe money. Either way its not going to be easy and will cause a large portion of my summer to be ruined with studying and riding trying to get myself up to scratch. But I need my sleep, and I will think about this all later.
I seriously going insane. The other day I left my math book somewhere and now I have no idea where it is, and I’ve failed 3 days of math homework in a row because of it. No, but then I lost my Spanish binder, with all my stuff, and I can’t even remember when or where it disappeared. But this is not all, now I can’t find my makeup bag, with years work of collecting in it. Luckily I think it’s at Kali’s house. If not I would be devastated because as any girl can understand my makeup collection is created by years of careful adding and changing and tweaking, and switching out eyeliners for one that goes on more smoothly, and having to go BACK to the store because the foundation is too light for my skin (if that’s even possible). Ages of painstaking work, all in one cute little pink purse, possibly at the mercy of my dear friend. But I’m sure she understands the seriousness of the situation, I’ve known her to go into hysterics and drive an hour because she left her make-up somewhere. I think that if a guy were ever to see her without makeup, her head really might explode. Then she also refuses to eat in front of guys, ask where the bathroom is, or borrow money from them. It’s as if girls are supposed to be this weird species that do not eat or pee or have any body functions other than looking cute. Not that this is an unworthy goal, I myself have gone as far as many down the path to cuteness perfection. I haven’t resorted to coloring my hair yet, but someday when it isn’t as gorgeous I may. But this view of women is getting a bit ridiculous (although I’m not sure the men are actually causing it…). It’s like my friend Snavely said “Women should be born completely hairless!” Why exactly do we slice off, rip out, or dissolve most of the hair on our bodies? It is definitely beyond me. Not that I don’t do it, I just don’t know why I do. In fact I do a lot of things that I don’t know why I do them. At least I think I do, I can’t actually think of any. I suppose I sort of know why I rip the hair out, something to do with accentuating the gender differences of hairiness to seem hyper-feminine. But it is a lot of work for not a lot of difference. I don’t think it really matters anyway though seeing as I’m usually too lazy to do it anyway. Every once in a while I want to wear shorts, but with the approach of summer it will be a bit more important soon. Ah summer, a time of …sun? Yes, summer, with friends, swimming, free time, and most of all, sleep! I don’t thing you understand how important the sleeping really is. You see, I am in the International Baccalaureate Program, which in normal English means that I am a nerd with a lot of homework. I also actually have quite a few friends, ride horses with an intensive program named rather unintensely “Pony Club.” I have been known to spend hours playing videogames, to comment with words like “pwned” and too have codenamed playing Halo as playing “football.” Ah nerds, with our bio-chem threats (“give me your cookie” “no I’m covalently bonded with it” “Yea well, I’m very electronegative.”) and our video game conventions (PAX!). I really need a T-shirt, so people won’t mistake me for someone popular or something. But I mean this in the least positive light, for I believe that “popular people” are people that seem crappy, and people like them because being around them makes them feel good about themselves. Either that or they have something to offer, like being funny or rich. But then I don’t want to make the mistake that I was telling Hannah the other day is proliferated by teen girl books. Those books about girls who are miserable because everyone around them is stupid and doesn’t understand and doesn’t even think at all. The ironic thing is that all girls read these books and end up thinking that no one else thinks, and they treat other people like objects, which confirms all THOSE girl’s beliefs that other girls are mean and unthinking. Terrible vicious circle if you ask me. Which no one ever seems to do, which is very stupid because they would find that I’m right about everything because I have insights on life that they will never understand…
But this thought about all girls doing the same thing makes me worried about… well… worried about… what was I thinking about? I don’t really know, I started thinking about girls I see in the hallways, like this morning when I was walking after the Culminating Project meeting which is where we practice not being intelligent capable people and listen to people try and bull-shit their way through a presentation about a project that they have told us to do, but they haven’t finished deciding exactly what they want us to do for it. What they have done is make a list of what we’re not allowed to do for it, a list including jello wrestling, skydiving, and anything to do with weapons and flying aircraft. I really don’t know what they’re thinking with it, and why the hell did they specify that we cannot do jello-wrestling for a project and yet did not say that we cannot do, say, tomato fighting? I could graph the throw speed and accuracy of each person and then predict their performance in the fight. I could do similar things with jello-wrestling, so why did they mention that and not tomato fighting? I am perplexed. My other serious question is where the hell did they come up with jello wrestling?? I have never even heard of this. Why wasn’t I informed? They too obviously did not realize that my opinions are always exactly what should be done. There are so many things that if someone had just asked me, then so much could have been avoided. World War II for example. I could have told Hitler that killing millions would simply not end well for anyone involved. Especially him, seeing as he died in a ditch on fire. All this could have been avoided if I had been asked. But they did not ask me about the culminating project.
So I sat there listening to them talk about something they didn’t actually know anything about. I myself have done this many times, but at least I’m a bit more discreet about it. I was sitting there spacing out while they talked about.. well I don’t actually know what they were talking about due to the fact that I was tuning them out, but nonetheless I was staring out the window and the sky was blue. This was actually a lot less mundane than it sounds seeing as the sky hasn’t been blue since, id have to say since about 1987. But this brought home to me that fact that it was may, and therefore almost june, and therefore almost summer vacation, where I can practice not being intelligent and capable in a far more interesting fashion. Except that I sadly will be spending a lot of time attempting to be both smart and capable as I am doing something for pony club that is needless to say, intense. I am taking my C3, which I may very well fail, but I may as well ignore that fact and try very hard to convince people that I am a good enough rider and that I know all the horse information that I am supposed to. This will involve either a whole lot of studying or a whole lot of discreet B.S.ing and a good deal of bribe money. Either way its not going to be easy and will cause a large portion of my summer to be ruined with studying and riding trying to get myself up to scratch. But I need my sleep, and I will think about this all later.