...coughfay shop blues...
caribou coffee robinson is precariously perched next door to one of those 'every piece of crap in here is a dollar' stores, and even the signage allows for the dollar store sign to be ON TOP of the caribou coffee sign. this allows for a myriad of things that are pretty awesome.
1)all of the tiny-bladdered, greasy-headed sweathogs shopping at the dollar store all come over to use the bathroom. they won't make eye-contact or really say anything to you as you're standing at the counter...which in turn has caused me to be incredibly friendly and make a large amount of small talk with these mongoloids in order for them to feel guilty about sitting their dirty asses on caribou's toilet seats. the best part? the dollar store employees tell customers that they can come next door and use the bathroom, and there's really nothing else that can happen...because we've already talked to management, and they swear they're not sending their customers next door. fucking lying retards.
2)they will continually ask if we have things that they know we don't have. i usually get 'do you have any sandwiches other than these?' 'do you have any soup?' or 'do you have fountain drinks?' now i realize that you might be running on little to no brain power...as you've taken the majority of your shopping experience here at the dollar store, but even you can realize that this is a fucking coffee shop, and while there are a few food items for purchase, the fact that the whole store can be seen in almost one glance should facilitate that there is not a bakery, a full scale deli or any fucking way for me to get hot, fresh soup to your engorged fucking face.
3) once, a really short, brassy blonde, pink greasy lady came from next door and used the bathroom. she was wearing aqua stretch pants, a sweat shirt with some kind of animal on it, that may have even been some sort of looney toon, and flip flops. she stopped...after using the bathroom...and waddled her way to the counter and said, 'i just don't see spending three dollars on a cup of coffee. i like the coffee at exxon just fine!' now, its one thing to use a bathroom of an establishment that you haven't even bought anything from(to not even think about the cost of paper towels, soap, water and toilet paper), its even another to ask me if you have soup...but to actually come up to me with your fat little baby rat pinky greasy face and have the nerve to comment on the price of a coffee ...as if me, as an hourly employee has ANY fucking say about the prices set by a bunch of fucking bourgeouis bohemian coffee snobs sitting in minneapolis minnesota cornerning the market on the alaskan lodge coffeeshop experience. fuck you, you fucking slackjaw
...well, that just further diminished the hope of humanity. those are the kind of people that the rest of the world thinks americans are.
why does it bother me so much? its a fucking metaphor. everyone thinks that they deserve something for nothing...and they deserve it right now, without any hassle...and they can say whatever they want without thinking of the social repercussions of their words or actions.
fuck you, and if going to the bathroom frequently is such a fucking issue with you, maybe you should consider locking yourself in your house, or using depends.
1)all of the tiny-bladdered, greasy-headed sweathogs shopping at the dollar store all come over to use the bathroom. they won't make eye-contact or really say anything to you as you're standing at the counter...which in turn has caused me to be incredibly friendly and make a large amount of small talk with these mongoloids in order for them to feel guilty about sitting their dirty asses on caribou's toilet seats. the best part? the dollar store employees tell customers that they can come next door and use the bathroom, and there's really nothing else that can happen...because we've already talked to management, and they swear they're not sending their customers next door. fucking lying retards.
2)they will continually ask if we have things that they know we don't have. i usually get 'do you have any sandwiches other than these?' 'do you have any soup?' or 'do you have fountain drinks?' now i realize that you might be running on little to no brain power...as you've taken the majority of your shopping experience here at the dollar store, but even you can realize that this is a fucking coffee shop, and while there are a few food items for purchase, the fact that the whole store can be seen in almost one glance should facilitate that there is not a bakery, a full scale deli or any fucking way for me to get hot, fresh soup to your engorged fucking face.
3) once, a really short, brassy blonde, pink greasy lady came from next door and used the bathroom. she was wearing aqua stretch pants, a sweat shirt with some kind of animal on it, that may have even been some sort of looney toon, and flip flops. she stopped...after using the bathroom...and waddled her way to the counter and said, 'i just don't see spending three dollars on a cup of coffee. i like the coffee at exxon just fine!' now, its one thing to use a bathroom of an establishment that you haven't even bought anything from(to not even think about the cost of paper towels, soap, water and toilet paper), its even another to ask me if you have soup...but to actually come up to me with your fat little baby rat pinky greasy face and have the nerve to comment on the price of a coffee ...as if me, as an hourly employee has ANY fucking say about the prices set by a bunch of fucking bourgeouis bohemian coffee snobs sitting in minneapolis minnesota cornerning the market on the alaskan lodge coffeeshop experience. fuck you, you fucking slackjaw
...well, that just further diminished the hope of humanity. those are the kind of people that the rest of the world thinks americans are.
why does it bother me so much? its a fucking metaphor. everyone thinks that they deserve something for nothing...and they deserve it right now, without any hassle...and they can say whatever they want without thinking of the social repercussions of their words or actions.
fuck you, and if going to the bathroom frequently is such a fucking issue with you, maybe you should consider locking yourself in your house, or using depends.