Eh, humans...
People baffle me. I love the way that they confuse their-selves to the point of no return. They can make their-selves feel absolutely low and pathetic just by looking at what they see as a bad picture of their self. I am trying to master optimism. So far, I am a failure. See? The human failing becomes me, again. Human failings...they're tough to pinpoint sometimes. We lie, cheat, steal, betray, virtually betray all trust that we are given. I do not trust. That is my largest failing. I trust no one that I am even relatively close to. It matters not your status in my life, you do not have my full trust, like it or not. I am just this way. I grew up seeing that trust is hard to gain and it is hard to give. I learned from it and I am careful, accordingly. Some see my pessimistic outlook on life as "snobbishness" or as me just being a bitch. That is fine with me, so long as I know the truth. People that are closest to me do not feel the need to accept what I choose in life, males, included. My choice in males, apparently, is flawed. I have been told this on several occasions. I beg to differ. It is what I want, not they. So I do not hear it or care about it. My father slightly understands it. He does not judge so much as my mother and sister do. If he does, he must keep it to himself. He is simply glad that I am glad with whatever decision I have made that day. As long as I am well, he is happy. This man, my father, shows up once in a while. He will be present come next Friday, I have heard. This could change as quickly as it was told, of course. When he comes around, it is nice. If he lingers, it becomes bothersome. But, I love my father. This man that I do not know, I do love. Maybe this explains my choice in men. The ones that stick around tend to be the ones that I choose. But, until recently, they have failed the way he has since I was born. The one constant man in my life is, in reality, my grandfather. The Sprite is not calming my nerves so well, tonight. I will sleep, now.