Well... we'll see where that goes, eh?
i just hit send on an email to my half-sister. i've never met her - my mother gave her up for adoption when my mother was a young woman - but she contacted my mom a couple weeks ago and here we are.
i am happy for my mom... to get to reconnect to the daughter she had to give up (the world was very different in the early 60's). i was scared it would be stressful for mom - to add this to the top of my step-father's continuing illness and decline... but it seems to be going well. They have shared emails and phone calls and i think (from what she has said) that things are going well. i suspect having resolution to that gaping hole from her past - and knowing her daughter was raised by loving parents who taught her that my mother gave them a wonderful gift by allowing them to adopt her daughter (rather than that she was unwanted or some other nasty thing) was a great relief.
As for me... well, she says she would like to get to know me, too... but left it to me to make the first contact. So, i did. i don't feel a connection to her. But then, in our family blood isn't the biggest thing - i am pretty separated from most of my blood family on both sides. Not because i dislike them (other than a couple racist/prejudiced/right-wing-extremist/judgmental members for whom i have no use), but because they just aren't a part of my life. i have closer family-of-my-heart than 99% of my blood family. So, we'll see. i don't feel the need to make a place in my life just because she exists - but at the same time i am willing to open a place if she wants it and fits into my world, if that makes any sense.
i am happy for my mom... to get to reconnect to the daughter she had to give up (the world was very different in the early 60's). i was scared it would be stressful for mom - to add this to the top of my step-father's continuing illness and decline... but it seems to be going well. They have shared emails and phone calls and i think (from what she has said) that things are going well. i suspect having resolution to that gaping hole from her past - and knowing her daughter was raised by loving parents who taught her that my mother gave them a wonderful gift by allowing them to adopt her daughter (rather than that she was unwanted or some other nasty thing) was a great relief.
As for me... well, she says she would like to get to know me, too... but left it to me to make the first contact. So, i did. i don't feel a connection to her. But then, in our family blood isn't the biggest thing - i am pretty separated from most of my blood family on both sides. Not because i dislike them (other than a couple racist/prejudiced/right-wing-extremist/judgmental members for whom i have no use), but because they just aren't a part of my life. i have closer family-of-my-heart than 99% of my blood family. So, we'll see. i don't feel the need to make a place in my life just because she exists - but at the same time i am willing to open a place if she wants it and fits into my world, if that makes any sense.