All I Want For Christmas
Title: All I Want For Christmas
Author: inanawfulmess
Rating: PG
Length: 6250
Spoilers: Season 2, Episode 10
Summary: Beth has a very specific Christmas wish. The next installment in my Fireworks series.
Author's Note: Christmas was awhile ago. I know this. And I was about 15 minutes away from having this ready to post on December 22. And yet, here we are. Oh well. I find January depressing anyway, so maybe a little holiday fluff will help to add cheer? I still don't own anything, and all mistakes are mine. Please enjoy, and feel free to comment!
“Mommy, come on!” six-year-old Beth Fabray whined as she grabbed her mother’s hand and dragged her through the crowds of people who had congregated in the mall the Saturday before Christmas. “If we don’t hurry up it’s going to be too late and Santa will have gone home and then how will I tell him what I want for Christmas?”
Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at the petulant expression on her daughter’s face. “He’s not going to leave without you, sweetie, I promise,” she assured. “We’ll see Santa before we leave, but we have to finish the shopping first. Don’t you want to pick out your present for Mama?”
Beth rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest, a move that always made Quinn fear for her and Rachel’s sanity as Beth reached her teenage years. She was a perfect mix of the two of them for sure, although not always in the most ideal combinations. Somehow the girl had been lucky enough to inherit both Rachel’s ambition and Quinn’s attitude, and they knew the world had better look out for her once her hormones started raging as well. “I wish Mama were here now,” Beth huffed, refusing to take Quinn’s hand as she held it out to the girl. “She’s more fun and she’d let me see Santa right now if I want to.”
“Sweetheart,” Quinn sighed, giving up on holding out her hand and instead resting it atop Beth’s to guide her through the crowds. “You know that Mama had to go out of town for a few days. I know you miss her and she misses you too, baby, but she’s going to be back in plenty of time for Christmas.”
“It’s just not fair,” Beth whined, a constant refrain she’d been repeating for the three days since Rachel had left. “I don’t have to go to school this week and I wanted to spend the whole time with Mama but then she had to leave to go sing her stupid songs to make those other kids happy. What about me? Why doesn’t she want to make me happy? I bet Barbra Streisand doesn’t abandon her family during the holidays.”
Quinn ran her hand through Beth’s hair until it rested firmly on her shoulder and she steered her daughter out of the flow of people and to a bench near the edge of the food court. “We’ve talked about this, baby,” she said, pulling Beth onto her lap as she sat. “Your mama is a really nice lady and she likes to make a lot of people happy, so she’s putting on concerts to cheer them up and make them feel the Christmas spirit. But you’re the really lucky one, Beth,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. “Wanna know why?”
Beth looked up at her with a pout still on her lips, but nodded despite herself. “Why?”
“Because you’re the one who gets to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with her, baby. Nobody else, just you. Everybody else gets to see your mama sing this week, but then she’s going to come home and she’s going to sing for you on Christmas Eve when we go to church and then she’s going to help you put out cookies for Santa and tuck you into bed and…”Quinn paused dramatically, smiling at the light she saw returning to her daughter’s eyes. “When you wake up in the morning, Mama’s going to be there to open presents with you and make us a fantastic breakfast and then spend all day playing with you and your new toys. Doesn’t that sound fantastic, baby?”
Beth nodded, but the pout still refused to budge. “I just want her now.”
“I know, sweetie, I know,” Quinn sighed, pulling Beth tighter against her. “I want her now too, but she’s going to be back soon. Do you want to see if we can talk to her on the phone? Will that make you feel better?”
The pout finally disappeared at Quinn’s suggestion, and the girl eagerly dug through her mother’s purse on the bench beside them to find Quinn’s cell phone. “Let me dial and make sure she can talk first, okay Bethy? And then I’ll give you the phone.”
Beth nodded excitedly, wiggling on Quinn’s lap with excitement. She had only talked to Rachel just last night before bedtime, but Saturdays were family days and she missed having both of her mothers there with her.
“Hey babe,” Quinn said a moment later when Rachel picked up. “Do you have a few minutes? Bethy wants to talk to you and we’re at the mall and she’s being I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E.”
“I’m in the advanced reading group at school, you know,” Beth commented, rolling her eyes and climbing off her mother’s lap to look in the windows of the pet store a few feet away from the bench.
“She can spell, Quinn,” Rachel chastised hoarsely through the phone at the same time. Quinn couldn’t help the smile that broke out across her face; it really did seem like Rachel and Beth shared the same brain sometimes. The smile disappeared as quickly as it came on, however, when Quinn stopped to think about the sound of Rachel’s voice.
“Rach,” she said. “What’s wrong? Are you getting sick?”
“No,” Rachel paused to let out a series of coughs and finished off with a slight wheeze. “I was getting sick last night when I had a scratchy throat after my show. Today I am sick.”
“Oh, honey,” Quinn soothed. “Is there anything I can do? Are you still going to be able to perform?”
Rachel laughed for a second before the sound was interrupted by a sneeze. “Ow,” she whined, sniffling. “Does it sound like I can perform? This isn’t fair. I never get sick, why now? Why me?”
“Aww, Rachel,” Quinn smirked, her concern fading slightly when she realized Rachel was at least still well enough to complain. “You sound just like your daughter, the two of you could be I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E together.”
Rachel sighed before coughing again. “Is she really having that hard a time? She seemed so upset when I had to let her go last night before bed.”
“She just misses her mama. She’s off school now, everybody’s getting in the Christmas spirit, and she just wants you to be here to celebrate with her.”
“I wish I could be, I’m sorry I had to miss these past few days.”
Quinn smiled. “We’re okay, babe, really. She’ll be one hundred percent fine again the second you walk through the door on Christmas Eve morning.”
“Well,” Rachel coughed again. “I’d like to see her back to normal sooner than that. I’m not doing anybody any good with this voice, so what do you say I walk through the door in about, oh, an hour?”
“Rachel Barbra Berry!” Quinn squealed, unable to control herself. “What are you up to? And where are you?”
“My plane just landed a few minutes ago. My dads are going to pick me up and bring me home. I was going to surprise you.”
“Honey, we can come get you, it’s not that far out of the way and Beth would be so excited.”
“No, don’t worry about it. My dads are almost here already anyway. Just don’t tell Bethy, okay? Take her home but don’t tell her I’m coming and I’ll surprise her. She’ll love it.”
“Yeah, she will,” Quinn agreed. “I’m still not sure why I’m the one who had to carry her around for nine months and then push her giant head out of a very small hole, but you’re the one who ended up being the favorite parent.”
“Now who’s being I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E?” Rachel teased, her sing-song voice coming out much more hoarse and gruff than either she or Quinn were used to. “I can’t help it though, it’s part of my charm.”
“Alright, honey,” Quinn laughed, gathering her purse and shopping bags and standing up from the bench. “I promised Beth we’d see Santa before we leave so we’re going to go get in line so we can get home. I’ll see you soon?”
“I can hardly wait,” Rachel responded. “I love you. Tell Bethy I love her too.”
“We love you too. Bye, Rach.”
“Wait!” Beth cried, abandoning the puppy in the window and running toward her mother. “Don’t hang up yet! I want to talk to Mama!”
“Beth,” Quinn said sternly, raising an eyebrow at her daughter. “It sounds to me like you’re throwing a tantrum and you’re much to old to be doing that in the middle of a mall, aren’t you?”
Beth looked at the floor and nodded, ashamed of her behavior. She really just missed her mother though, it wasn’t fair she didn’t get her turn to talk.
“Mama’s going to call you back soon, sweetie,” Quinn said, taking pity on her daughter and stretching the truth a little. “You know why? She told me to take you to see Santa right away, because she wants to hear all about your visit with him, okay baby?”
Beth looked up, her brown eyes filled with hope and unshed tears. “We can go see Santa now?” Quinn nodded, smiling brightly at her daughter. “And then I get to talk to Mama?” Quinn nodded again, but Beth eyed her skeptically. “Do you promise?”
“I pinky swear, baby girl,” Quinn responded, holding out her pinky to link with Beth’s as the two walked toward the area of the mall that housed Santa’s village.
“I think I’m going to ask Santa for a puppy for Christmas,” Beth said, quickly gaining back the spring in her step as she chatted animatedly. “But not one from the pet store. I think I want Santa to bring me a puppy from an animal shelter instead because when I’m famous like Mama and they’re writing my biography they should know that I’m socially conscious and respect animal rights.”
Quinn grinned, letting go of Beth’s hand to ruffle her hair. “You’re just like your mother, you know that, kid?”
Beth looked up at Quinn and matched her grin. “I know.”
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“Where’s my favorite granddaughter?” Jacob Berry called after knocking twice and then opening the front door to the Fabray-Berry home.
“Papa!” Beth squealed, racing down the staircase and jumping into his waiting arms. “I didn’t know you were coming over today!” She kissed his cheek and leaned out of her hug to do the same to her other grandfather. “Mommy! Papa and Grampy are here!”
“They are,” Quinn agreed, stepping around the corner and into the foyer, greeting them each with a hug of her own. “What brings you here?” Quinn asked, even though she already had a pretty good idea.
“Well,” Daniel spoke up, kneeling down to address Beth, “your Mama called us and mentioned that you might be a little sad today, even though you got to see Santa Claus at the mall, and nobody should ever be sad on the day they see Santa Claus, right?” Beth nodded enthusiastically, biting her lip as she tried to figure out what her grandfather was getting at. “So she sent us here to give you a special surprise and help cheer you up!”
Beth’s face broke into a grin. “What’s my surprise, Grampy?”
“Close your eyes, sweetie,” Jacob said, placing his hands on Beth’s shoulders and guiding her back a few steps so she was standing facing the door.
“Keep ‘em closed,” Daniel teased before quietly opening the door and ushering Rachel in. She gently set her suitcase on the bottom step of the staircase and gave Quinn a quick kiss before kneeling down in front of her daughter.
“Can I open them now, please?” Beth begged, throwing her hands over her eyes to avoid the temptation to peak.
“Sure, peanut,” Rachel finally spoke, a smiling gracing her lips as Beth dropped her hands to reveal wide eyes.
“Mama?” she cried, crashing into Rachel and throwing her arms around her neck. “I’m so happy you’re home!”
“I’m happy too, Bethy,” Rachel croaked, squeezing Beth tighter against her. “I really missed you while I was gone.”
“I missed you, Mama,” Beth spoke into Rachel’s shoulder as Rachel hoisted her up onto her hip, pulling Quinn to her for another kiss.
“How are you feeling?” Quinn asked, holding a hand to Rachel’s forehead. “You sound better.”
“I feel pretty well, right now, actually. I think my drugs are starting to work, and being out in the cold air made me feel better too.”
“Good, babe,” Quinn sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. “You should still take it easy for a few days though.”
“Wait!” Beth exclaimed, lifting her head from Rachel’s shoulder and looking from one mother to the other. “Mama’s sick? What’s wrong?”
“It’s just a bit of a cold, peanut, I’m fine,” Rachel answered, leaning down to set Beth back on her feet. “I just need a few days to rest and I’ll be good as new.”
“But what about your concerts? Aren’t you supposed to be singing to make all the other people happy and put them in the Christmas spirit?”
“Well, my voice hurts too much to sing right now, baby, so if I try to put on concerts I could damage it and I wouldn’t be able to sing well for a long time.”
Beth stared at Rachel, alarmed. “But your voice will be okay, right? Can you still sing?”
“Not for a few days, sweetie,” Rachel answered, raising an eyebrow toward Quinn to silently ask where Beth’s worry was coming from. Quinn shrugged in response. “I talked to my doctor this morning and he wants me to rest my voice and not sing at all for a week until my cold is gone.”
“But what about Christmas Eve?” Beth questioned. “You always sing at church on Christmas Eve. It’s tradition, Mama, you have to!”
“Sweetheart,” Rachel said carefully, a bit taken aback by the tears that had formed in Beth’s eyes. “I’m not going to be able to sing for church this year, but it’s going to be okay. I’ll still go to the service with you and Mommy, I promise.”
“But you have to sing, Mama, you have to! It’s the best part of church and everybody loves it when you sing and Mommy loves it too, she said so last year, it’s your favorite part of Christmas, right Mommy?”
“Bethy, baby,” Quinn leaned down and wiped the tears off her daughter’s cheeks. “Mama’s okay, I promise. She just has a cold and she’s lost her singing voice for a few days, that’s all. She’s going to be just fine. Everything’s okay.”
“No it’s not,” Beth sobbed, the tears falling faster. “Now it’s not going to be a good Christmas and it’s all my fault!” She wriggled out of Quinn’s grasp and climbed the stairs quickly, ignoring her mothers’ requests to stay with them. “I’m so sorry, Mama,” she said through her tears before shutting her bedroom door.
Rachel looked at Quinn, alarmed. “Is she okay?”
Quinn shrugged again, honestly unsure. “I don’t know, Rach. I have no idea what that was about. Do you want to go talk to her or do you want me to?”
Rachel shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, looking over her shoulder to where her fathers were still standing in the doorway, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, Dad, Daddy,” she apologized. “Please come in, stay for dinner. We’ll get this thing with Bethy straightened out and then I know she’d love to spend some time with you.”
The Misters Berry nodded, moving to take off their coats. “Take all the time you need, sweetheart,” Daniel said, opening the coat closet and taking out a hanger. “We’ll just make ourselves comfortable in the family room until she’s ready.”
“And please, just let us know if there’s anything we can do to help,” Jacob added, handing his coat to his husband. “I hate to see my favorite girl hurting like that.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” Rachel said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, both of you.”
The four adults turned abruptly when they heard Beth’s bedroom door open and watched as she marched purposefully down the stairs with her hands balled into fists at her sides. Even through her confusion Rachel couldn’t help but smile at how well her daughter was prepared to conduct the perfect diva storm-out when she got older.
“I need to go back to the mall,” Beth said calmly.
“Did you lose something while we were there, baby?” Quinn asked, already moving to the coat closet to make sure Beth had made it home with her hat and gloves.
“No, Mommy,” Beth answered quietly. “I need to see Santa again.”
“But you just saw him an hour ago,” Quinn replied, confused. “You can write him a letter if you thought of something else for your list.”
“No, Mommy,” Beth said again, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m afraid you don’t understand. I need to see him now.”
“Beth Fabray!” Rachel admonished. “I know that you know better than to speak to your mother that way.”
“I’m sorry,” Beth whispered, the tears beginning again. “But it’s important. Will you please take me back to the mall, please?”
“Honey, I’m sorry,” Quinn said, “but I can’t right now. Your Mama just got home and she’s not feeling well and Grampy and Papa are here to see you and dinner’s going to be ready soon. I think we need to stay here this afternoon, but we’ll try to see Santa one more time before Christmas, okay?”
Beth shook her head, crying harder. “No, Mommy, it’s really important. Please can we go today?”
“Actually,” Jacob broke in, looking to Quinn for approval. “Grampy and I have to run to the mall before dinner anyway, so maybe - ”
“Please take me with you!” Beth begged, throwing herself toward her grandfather. “Please, Mommy, can I go?”
Quinn looked at Rachel, then eyed Jacob. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked. “You really don’t have to take her.”
“We want to,” Daniel spoke up, reaching for the coat closet again. “Honest.”
“Alright,” Quinn sighed, earning smiles from all of the room’s occupants. “But Bethy, you need to start acting like the big girl you are, okay? That’s the deal. I know you’ve had a rough day, and it’s okay to be sad, but your behavior is unacceptable. If you go back to the mall with Grampy and Papa no more tantrums and back-talking, okay?”
Beth nodded, throwing her arms around Quinn’s waist. “I promise, Mommy. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby,” Quinn answered, reaching for Beth’s coat to help her into it. “You be good at the mall.”
“I will,” Beth answered, pulling on her hat and walking over to Rachel to give her a hug. “Promise you’ll be here when I get back?”
Rachel smiled. “Of course, peanut.”
“Good.” She grabbed her grandfather’s hand and started to pull him toward the door. “Bye Mama, love you!” she shouted as she skipped down the front porch steps. “And don’t worry, you’ll feel better real soon!”
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“I missed you,” Quinn sighed, curling up against Rachel’s side on the couch. “How about you never go away again?”
Rachel smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of Quinn’s head. “How about you just come with me?”
“That’d work too. I just don’t like being away from you. I don’t sleep well when no one is snoring in my ear.”
“I do not snore, Fabray.”
Quinn grinned, wrapping her arm around Rachel’s stomach. “You just keep telling yourself that.”
Rachel giggled, then coughed, reaching up behind her to pull a blanket down off the back of the couch to wrap around her and Quinn. “I’m so glad I’m home. I would feel so much worse if I was alone in a hotel room right now.”
“I’m really glad you’re here too, babe, I’ll be sure to take good care of you,” Quinn said, adjusting the blanket up around Rachel’s shoulders, and leaning up to place a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry your surprise wasn’t as well-received as we thought it’d be.”
“What was that about, anyway?” Rachel asked. “Has she been like that all week?”
Quinn sighed again. “Not really, she missed you a lot, but the way she’s been acting since you got home is entirely new to me. She was so excited to see you too, that’s all she talked about on the way home from seeing Santa…” Quinn trailed off, the color draining from her face. “Oh, god.”
“What’s wrong?” Rachel asked, sitting up straighter and throwing the blanket off. “Are you okay?”
“She asked for you for Christmas,” Quinn groaned, burying her face in her hands. “She told Santa the thing she wanted most of all was for you to come home early to spend time with her.”
It was silent for a moment. “She thinks it’s her fault I’m sick,” Rachel said finally. “No wonder she was so upset. And I didn’t say anything to correct her.”
“You didn’t know, Rach,” Quinn said sternly. “If anyone’s at fault, it’s me. I knew what she asked for and I didn’t even connect the dots.”
“Now don’t you go blaming yourself either,” Rachel paused to blow her nose. “When she gets back with my dads we’ll just sit her down and explain that I was sick and on my way home long before you even left for the mall this morning. It’ll be alright, we’ll just explain that, even though Santa is magic, he didn’t have anything to do with this one.”
“You’re right,” Quinn relaxed, leaning back against Rachel. “We can take the pressure off her for this without ruining her spirit. She’s only six, I think we can get a few more years out of Santa Claus.”
“Definitely,” Rachel agreed. “Even as a young Jew, it was nice to believe there was someone out there who had all the answers. Beth deserves to believe Santa can do anything.”
As if on cue, the door opened and Beth came rushing in, followed by her grandfathers. “Hi Mama! Hi Mommy!” she exclaimed, slipping off her boots and quickly shoving her coat into the closet.
“It sounds like you’re feeling better, Bethy,” Quinn said, smiling at the return of Beth’s Christmas spirit. “I’m glad to see that.”
“Thank you,” Beth spoke, rushing into the family room and jumping on to the couch with her mothers, climbing over Quinn’s legs to land in Rachel’s lap. “Guess what, Mama?”
“What, baby?” Rachel answered, excited to see the light back in her daughter’s eyes.
“You’re going to be able to sing on Christmas Eve! I asked Santa, and he promised he’d give you your voice back for Christmas. I told him it was really really important and he promised!” Beth wrapped her arms around Rachel’s neck, missing the look her mothers shared. “Isn’t that exciting?”
“You really didn’t have to do that for me, peanut,” Rachel answered, choosing her words carefully. “You should ask for a special present for you, my voice will come back on its own.”
“But not in time for Christmas,” Beth answered, frowning. “It’s the only thing I really really want, and I had to ask anyway because it’s because of me that you got sick.”
“Now, baby,” Quinn spoke up. “That’s not true. Mama got sick because of some germs she picked up at one of her shows. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Yes it does,” Beth whispered, ashamed. “I told Santa the first time that the only thing I wanted was for Mama to come home, and he made you sick so you could. I’m really sorry, Mama. But I promise you’ll be better soon, Santa said so.”
“Sweetie,” Rachel began. “It is not your fault I’m sick. I started to feel bad before you talked to Santa today. I was even already on my way home when you did. Santa can’t make me sick, sweetie, I promise.”
“Mama,” Beth said, rolling her eyes. “Santa can do anything, you know that. He’s magical.”
“Well, that may be sweetheart,” Quinn added, “But he didn’t make your Mama sick.”
“No,” Rachel agreed, shaking her head. “He had nothing to do with that, and neither did you.”
“Well it doesn’t matter now anyway,” Beth said, brightening. “He promised to make you better and I’ve been really good all year, so I know he will. I just know it!” Beth watched as her mothers shared another look, then climbed down off of Rachel’s lap. “I’m gonna wash up for dinner, Grampy said it’d be ready when we got home.”
Rachel and Quinn watched in silence as Beth walked out of the family room and past where her grandfathers were sitting in the kitchen on her way to the bathroom.
“Well, shit,” Quinn finally spoke.
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed, not even bothering to scold Quinn for her choice of words.
“We are so screwed.”
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“So what are we going to do?” Quinn whispered that night as How the Grinch Stole Christmas played quietly on the television. Beth had fallen asleep halfway through Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and they hadn’t had the heart to move her from where she was cuddled up against Rachel on the couch.
Rachel sniffled quietly, running a hand gently over Beth’s blonde pigtails. “I honestly don’t know. I love that she believes in the magic, but I’m not going to be able to sing in church, Quinn. Listen to me, there’s no way.”
Quinn bit her lip. “Please don’t shoot me for saying this, but what if you lip-synch? You must have a recording of yourself singing ‘O Holy Night’ somewhere.”
Rachel gasped. “I will do no such thing. The risks are too great. What if I was found out?”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure the realization the you’d do anything for your daughter would totally harm your career. Besides, it’s a small church. And you’re technically not even a member there, no one has to know.”
“All the more reason not to, Quinn. I’m pretty sure they only let a Jew sing in your church because I’m beginning to make a name for myself. I don’t want to abuse the little trust they’ve put in me.”
“Or it could be because they’ve seen how much you mean to me and Beth, who were both baptized there, and they really appreciate that you’re willing to come support us and contribute your gifts to our Christmas Eve service.”
“Fine,” Rachel conceded. “I’ll do it, but only if there’s no other option. We need to come up with something better anyways. One technical difficulty and our cover will be blown, and that’ll be even worse for Beth if she finds out we lied.”
“You’re right,” Quinn nodded. “It is too risky. Something is always going wrong with the music in that place, and if Beth finds out it won’t only ruin her faith in Santa, but her faith in us too. What else have you got?”
“I’d like to go give that mall Santa a piece of my mind. Promising little girls things he can’t deliver, really? The nerve! I should report him to the Better Business Bureau. Or the ACLU. Or maybe I’ll just go beat him up.”
Quinn giggled. “Alright, sweetheart, you do that. All sixty-two inches of you can go take on the big bad mall Santa.”
“I’m serious!” Rachel protested. “What did they do when this happened on The Brady Bunch?”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“Never mind,” Rachel shook her head. “I watched a lot of classic tv with my dads before I had friends. What if I sing at Sunday service next week? Would that work?”
“Still wouldn’t explain why Santa didn’t give you your voice back in time for Christmas Eve. I suppose she’s too old to fool into thinking Christmas is a few days later, isn’t she?”
“She’s a smart girl, Quinn, at dinner she gave an accurate and updated to-the-minute countdown. I’m pretty sure we can’t sneak that one by her.”
Quinn looked down at her daughter as she sighed in her sleep and grabbed Rachel’s shirt, pulling herself in closer. “Does it make me a bad mother if I suggest we just keep giving her Benadryl so she’ll sleep through the next few days and it’ll throw off her countdown to buy us some time?”
Rachel laughed quietly, rubbing gentle circles on Beth’s back to soothe her back into a deeper sleep. “Remember when we went through all this with Brittany when she wanted Artie to walk? What was that, junior year?”
“Yeah,” Quinn nodded. “Last I knew she still believed, too, so we must have done something right.”
Rachel nodded. “Is that football coach still at McKinley? Maybe she can come play Santa for us and explain why I won’t be able to sing.”
“Is that what we need to do? Have Santa talk to her again?”
“I don’t know, do you think? Or no, wait! What if we make her think my voice is back, but I’m choosing not to sing?”
“And what, pray tell, would prevent Rachel Berry from singing a solo in front of a large and captive audience?”
“Maybe you wanted to sing it this year instead and, because I love you, I was willing to give it to you, just this once.” Quinn raised an eyebrow. “What? It’s plausible. You were in glee.”
“Yeah, so? Doesn’t mean I actually like to sing in front of people. I may have just joined because I had a crush on the lead singer and wanted an excuse to stare at her ass for an extra period every day.”
Rachel smiled, wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh, is that why?”
Quinn grinned. “You know it.”
“And what if I told you you could stare at that ass as much as you want? Would you be willing to sing in my place?”
“Please, Berry,” Quinn rolled her eyes. “Your ass is mine regardless and you know it. I’m not singing in church.”
“But what about Bethy?”
“Yeah!” Quinn said, straightening in her chair excitedly. “What about Bethy?”
“Wait, are you suggesting - “
“Could that work?”
“I think so. Yeah, it should, right? Would she do it?”
Quinn smiled. “She’s like a mini-you. She’ll love it.”
Rachel returned the grin. “We’ll tell her tomorrow. Beth will sing in my place, and Santa can safely come to our house for another year. We’re awesome.”
“Totally,” Quinn responded, reaching her arm out and curling her fingers to bump against Rachel’s outstretched fist.
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“You want me to sing your solo?” Beth asked the next morning between bites of French toast. “Mommy, is she being serious?”
Quinn laughed. “Believe it or not, I think she is, honey.”
“But Mama, you always sing ‘O Holy Night’ on Christmas Eve. It’s a tradition! And you always like to sing solos, no matter what. Remember when you said that understudies are an unnecessary evil because the show must always go on? Is that not true anymore?”
“Oh, that’s still true, peanut, but you’re not an understudy. You’re my daughter and I love you very much and I want to give you the solo, like an extra Christmas present.”
“Mama,” Beth said, climbing out of her chair and walking over to where Rachel sat before climbing up in her lap and wrapping her arms around her neck. “I know what this is really about. You don’t have to be scared that you’ll still be sick. Santa promised you’d be able to sing. You can still keep your solo and maybe I can sing at church some other time.”
Rachel looked to Quinn for help. Beth really was a good kid, but that really wasn’t helping their case at the moment. “Sweetheart, I think what your Mama is saying is that she’s so grateful to you for not being selfish and asking Santa to make her better instead of for something for yourself that she wants to say thank you by letting you sing her song.”
“That’s exactly right. I would love it if you would sing my solo for me.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Beth asked, skeptically.
“Positive, peanut. You’re going to do really great.”
“And you promise you’ll still come to watch me?”
“Of course, baby. I’ll be right in the front pew with Mommy to cheer you on.”
Beth stopped to think for a moment. “Alright,” she said, face breaking into a smile. “I’ll do it!”
“Yay!” Rachel cheered, leaning down to kiss Beth’s cheek. “I’m so excited to see you sing, peanut!”
“I’m excited too, baby,” Quinn added. “Someday when People Magazine calls to get childhood stories about hot new star Beth Fabray I’ll be sure to tell them about this moment.”
Beth giggled. “Will you help me pick out my outfit?”
“Obviously,” Quinn smiled. “We don’t want you making your singing debut in an argyle sweater vest, now do we?”
“Hey!” Rachel squealed over their laughter. “I resent that.”
“She’s just kidding, Mama,” Beth whispered.
“Love you, Rach,” Quinn teased, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah,” Rachel said, sticking her tongue out at Quinn. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m super adorable.”
Quinn laughed. “Fine, but don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to protect.”
------------
“And we have a special guest at tonight’s service,” Reverend Hoff said, winking at Beth in the front row. “Singing ‘O Holy Night’ this year will be Miss Beth Fabray.”
“Break a leg, peanut,” Rachel whispered as Beth slid down off of Quinn’s lap, casting a terrified look back to her mothers before walking slowly to the front of the church and taking the microphone Reverend Hoff held out to her. She gently smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt and adjusted the cardigan around her shoulders before taking a deep breath and nodding at the piano player, just like how she practiced with Rachel.
The piano gently started playing, the first several chords echoing through the church. Beth looked out to the congregation, realizing for the first time just how many people she was going to be singing for. Even though she knew her mother had performed for crowds ten times this large at least, Beth could hardly imagine that so many people would have their attention focused solely on her. She watched as Quinn sent her a gentle smile and Rachel gave a subtle thumbs up before taking another deep breath and beginning her song.
“O holy night,” she sang, “the stars are brightly shining…”
“What is she doing?” Rachel whispered into Quinn’s ear as their daughter trailed off and the piano played on, before stopping altogether. Silence rang throughout the church as Beth stared at her mothers, wide-eyed, tears forming in her eyes.
“Is it stage fright?” Quinn whispered back, while keeping the smile plastered on her face for their daughter’s sake. “What do we do? Rach?” Quinn turned her head away from Beth, only to find Rachel no longer in her seat.
Quickly turning back, Quinn watched as Rachel approached their daughter at the front of the church, kneeling next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Rachel whispered into Beth’s ear for a moment before nodding to the pianist, who began the opening chords of the song a second time. When it came time for the singing to begin, Rachel squeezed Beth tighter against her as they breathed in together, their voices joining in the first line of the song.
“O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,” they sang together. “It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth.” Rachel stayed quiet as not to overpower Beth, and the lower sounds brought on by the hoarseness in her voice helped her to blend in harmony with Beth’s sweet, innocent voice. They continued the song, each growing more confident in her own voice as it progressed, finally finishing together and looking up in unison to see Quinn’s eyes on them, her entire face glowing in happiness.
“Thank you for the impromptu, yet lovely, duet,” Reverend Hoff spoke as Rachel and Beth made their way back to their seats, sliding into the pew next to Quinn who gave them both a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m sure it was a great reminder to everyone about the true spirit of Christmas. And while we’re on the subject, I’d like you to take a few minutes to visit and share holiday greetings and messages with those around you.”
“That was great, baby,” Quinn whispered, pulling Beth back onto her lap. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mommy,” Beth replied before turning to Rachel. “I told you Santa Claus would give you your voice back in time for Christmas, Mama. He did it, just like I told you he would. See? Nothing is impossible!” She paused, then grinned. "That's I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E."
Quinn raised an eyebrow over Beth’s head, but Rachel just grinned, reaching forward to ruffle Beth’s hair. “It must have worked, peanut, because my voice is back.”
Beth grinned, crawling from Quinn’s lap and into Rachel’s. “This is already the best Christmas ever!”
“Merry Christmas, Bethy,” Quinn spoke, reaching an arm around Rachel’s shoulders to pull both of her girls toward her. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Mommy,” Beth answered. “And you, Mama. Merry Christmas.”
Author: inanawfulmess
Rating: PG
Length: 6250
Spoilers: Season 2, Episode 10
Summary: Beth has a very specific Christmas wish. The next installment in my Fireworks series.
Author's Note: Christmas was awhile ago. I know this. And I was about 15 minutes away from having this ready to post on December 22. And yet, here we are. Oh well. I find January depressing anyway, so maybe a little holiday fluff will help to add cheer? I still don't own anything, and all mistakes are mine. Please enjoy, and feel free to comment!
“Mommy, come on!” six-year-old Beth Fabray whined as she grabbed her mother’s hand and dragged her through the crowds of people who had congregated in the mall the Saturday before Christmas. “If we don’t hurry up it’s going to be too late and Santa will have gone home and then how will I tell him what I want for Christmas?”
Quinn couldn’t help but laugh at the petulant expression on her daughter’s face. “He’s not going to leave without you, sweetie, I promise,” she assured. “We’ll see Santa before we leave, but we have to finish the shopping first. Don’t you want to pick out your present for Mama?”
Beth rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest, a move that always made Quinn fear for her and Rachel’s sanity as Beth reached her teenage years. She was a perfect mix of the two of them for sure, although not always in the most ideal combinations. Somehow the girl had been lucky enough to inherit both Rachel’s ambition and Quinn’s attitude, and they knew the world had better look out for her once her hormones started raging as well. “I wish Mama were here now,” Beth huffed, refusing to take Quinn’s hand as she held it out to the girl. “She’s more fun and she’d let me see Santa right now if I want to.”
“Sweetheart,” Quinn sighed, giving up on holding out her hand and instead resting it atop Beth’s to guide her through the crowds. “You know that Mama had to go out of town for a few days. I know you miss her and she misses you too, baby, but she’s going to be back in plenty of time for Christmas.”
“It’s just not fair,” Beth whined, a constant refrain she’d been repeating for the three days since Rachel had left. “I don’t have to go to school this week and I wanted to spend the whole time with Mama but then she had to leave to go sing her stupid songs to make those other kids happy. What about me? Why doesn’t she want to make me happy? I bet Barbra Streisand doesn’t abandon her family during the holidays.”
Quinn ran her hand through Beth’s hair until it rested firmly on her shoulder and she steered her daughter out of the flow of people and to a bench near the edge of the food court. “We’ve talked about this, baby,” she said, pulling Beth onto her lap as she sat. “Your mama is a really nice lady and she likes to make a lot of people happy, so she’s putting on concerts to cheer them up and make them feel the Christmas spirit. But you’re the really lucky one, Beth,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. “Wanna know why?”
Beth looked up at her with a pout still on her lips, but nodded despite herself. “Why?”
“Because you’re the one who gets to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with her, baby. Nobody else, just you. Everybody else gets to see your mama sing this week, but then she’s going to come home and she’s going to sing for you on Christmas Eve when we go to church and then she’s going to help you put out cookies for Santa and tuck you into bed and…”Quinn paused dramatically, smiling at the light she saw returning to her daughter’s eyes. “When you wake up in the morning, Mama’s going to be there to open presents with you and make us a fantastic breakfast and then spend all day playing with you and your new toys. Doesn’t that sound fantastic, baby?”
Beth nodded, but the pout still refused to budge. “I just want her now.”
“I know, sweetie, I know,” Quinn sighed, pulling Beth tighter against her. “I want her now too, but she’s going to be back soon. Do you want to see if we can talk to her on the phone? Will that make you feel better?”
The pout finally disappeared at Quinn’s suggestion, and the girl eagerly dug through her mother’s purse on the bench beside them to find Quinn’s cell phone. “Let me dial and make sure she can talk first, okay Bethy? And then I’ll give you the phone.”
Beth nodded excitedly, wiggling on Quinn’s lap with excitement. She had only talked to Rachel just last night before bedtime, but Saturdays were family days and she missed having both of her mothers there with her.
“Hey babe,” Quinn said a moment later when Rachel picked up. “Do you have a few minutes? Bethy wants to talk to you and we’re at the mall and she’s being I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E.”
“I’m in the advanced reading group at school, you know,” Beth commented, rolling her eyes and climbing off her mother’s lap to look in the windows of the pet store a few feet away from the bench.
“She can spell, Quinn,” Rachel chastised hoarsely through the phone at the same time. Quinn couldn’t help the smile that broke out across her face; it really did seem like Rachel and Beth shared the same brain sometimes. The smile disappeared as quickly as it came on, however, when Quinn stopped to think about the sound of Rachel’s voice.
“Rach,” she said. “What’s wrong? Are you getting sick?”
“No,” Rachel paused to let out a series of coughs and finished off with a slight wheeze. “I was getting sick last night when I had a scratchy throat after my show. Today I am sick.”
“Oh, honey,” Quinn soothed. “Is there anything I can do? Are you still going to be able to perform?”
Rachel laughed for a second before the sound was interrupted by a sneeze. “Ow,” she whined, sniffling. “Does it sound like I can perform? This isn’t fair. I never get sick, why now? Why me?”
“Aww, Rachel,” Quinn smirked, her concern fading slightly when she realized Rachel was at least still well enough to complain. “You sound just like your daughter, the two of you could be I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E together.”
Rachel sighed before coughing again. “Is she really having that hard a time? She seemed so upset when I had to let her go last night before bed.”
“She just misses her mama. She’s off school now, everybody’s getting in the Christmas spirit, and she just wants you to be here to celebrate with her.”
“I wish I could be, I’m sorry I had to miss these past few days.”
Quinn smiled. “We’re okay, babe, really. She’ll be one hundred percent fine again the second you walk through the door on Christmas Eve morning.”
“Well,” Rachel coughed again. “I’d like to see her back to normal sooner than that. I’m not doing anybody any good with this voice, so what do you say I walk through the door in about, oh, an hour?”
“Rachel Barbra Berry!” Quinn squealed, unable to control herself. “What are you up to? And where are you?”
“My plane just landed a few minutes ago. My dads are going to pick me up and bring me home. I was going to surprise you.”
“Honey, we can come get you, it’s not that far out of the way and Beth would be so excited.”
“No, don’t worry about it. My dads are almost here already anyway. Just don’t tell Bethy, okay? Take her home but don’t tell her I’m coming and I’ll surprise her. She’ll love it.”
“Yeah, she will,” Quinn agreed. “I’m still not sure why I’m the one who had to carry her around for nine months and then push her giant head out of a very small hole, but you’re the one who ended up being the favorite parent.”
“Now who’s being I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E?” Rachel teased, her sing-song voice coming out much more hoarse and gruff than either she or Quinn were used to. “I can’t help it though, it’s part of my charm.”
“Alright, honey,” Quinn laughed, gathering her purse and shopping bags and standing up from the bench. “I promised Beth we’d see Santa before we leave so we’re going to go get in line so we can get home. I’ll see you soon?”
“I can hardly wait,” Rachel responded. “I love you. Tell Bethy I love her too.”
“We love you too. Bye, Rach.”
“Wait!” Beth cried, abandoning the puppy in the window and running toward her mother. “Don’t hang up yet! I want to talk to Mama!”
“Beth,” Quinn said sternly, raising an eyebrow at her daughter. “It sounds to me like you’re throwing a tantrum and you’re much to old to be doing that in the middle of a mall, aren’t you?”
Beth looked at the floor and nodded, ashamed of her behavior. She really just missed her mother though, it wasn’t fair she didn’t get her turn to talk.
“Mama’s going to call you back soon, sweetie,” Quinn said, taking pity on her daughter and stretching the truth a little. “You know why? She told me to take you to see Santa right away, because she wants to hear all about your visit with him, okay baby?”
Beth looked up, her brown eyes filled with hope and unshed tears. “We can go see Santa now?” Quinn nodded, smiling brightly at her daughter. “And then I get to talk to Mama?” Quinn nodded again, but Beth eyed her skeptically. “Do you promise?”
“I pinky swear, baby girl,” Quinn responded, holding out her pinky to link with Beth’s as the two walked toward the area of the mall that housed Santa’s village.
“I think I’m going to ask Santa for a puppy for Christmas,” Beth said, quickly gaining back the spring in her step as she chatted animatedly. “But not one from the pet store. I think I want Santa to bring me a puppy from an animal shelter instead because when I’m famous like Mama and they’re writing my biography they should know that I’m socially conscious and respect animal rights.”
Quinn grinned, letting go of Beth’s hand to ruffle her hair. “You’re just like your mother, you know that, kid?”
Beth looked up at Quinn and matched her grin. “I know.”
------------
“Where’s my favorite granddaughter?” Jacob Berry called after knocking twice and then opening the front door to the Fabray-Berry home.
“Papa!” Beth squealed, racing down the staircase and jumping into his waiting arms. “I didn’t know you were coming over today!” She kissed his cheek and leaned out of her hug to do the same to her other grandfather. “Mommy! Papa and Grampy are here!”
“They are,” Quinn agreed, stepping around the corner and into the foyer, greeting them each with a hug of her own. “What brings you here?” Quinn asked, even though she already had a pretty good idea.
“Well,” Daniel spoke up, kneeling down to address Beth, “your Mama called us and mentioned that you might be a little sad today, even though you got to see Santa Claus at the mall, and nobody should ever be sad on the day they see Santa Claus, right?” Beth nodded enthusiastically, biting her lip as she tried to figure out what her grandfather was getting at. “So she sent us here to give you a special surprise and help cheer you up!”
Beth’s face broke into a grin. “What’s my surprise, Grampy?”
“Close your eyes, sweetie,” Jacob said, placing his hands on Beth’s shoulders and guiding her back a few steps so she was standing facing the door.
“Keep ‘em closed,” Daniel teased before quietly opening the door and ushering Rachel in. She gently set her suitcase on the bottom step of the staircase and gave Quinn a quick kiss before kneeling down in front of her daughter.
“Can I open them now, please?” Beth begged, throwing her hands over her eyes to avoid the temptation to peak.
“Sure, peanut,” Rachel finally spoke, a smiling gracing her lips as Beth dropped her hands to reveal wide eyes.
“Mama?” she cried, crashing into Rachel and throwing her arms around her neck. “I’m so happy you’re home!”
“I’m happy too, Bethy,” Rachel croaked, squeezing Beth tighter against her. “I really missed you while I was gone.”
“I missed you, Mama,” Beth spoke into Rachel’s shoulder as Rachel hoisted her up onto her hip, pulling Quinn to her for another kiss.
“How are you feeling?” Quinn asked, holding a hand to Rachel’s forehead. “You sound better.”
“I feel pretty well, right now, actually. I think my drugs are starting to work, and being out in the cold air made me feel better too.”
“Good, babe,” Quinn sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. “You should still take it easy for a few days though.”
“Wait!” Beth exclaimed, lifting her head from Rachel’s shoulder and looking from one mother to the other. “Mama’s sick? What’s wrong?”
“It’s just a bit of a cold, peanut, I’m fine,” Rachel answered, leaning down to set Beth back on her feet. “I just need a few days to rest and I’ll be good as new.”
“But what about your concerts? Aren’t you supposed to be singing to make all the other people happy and put them in the Christmas spirit?”
“Well, my voice hurts too much to sing right now, baby, so if I try to put on concerts I could damage it and I wouldn’t be able to sing well for a long time.”
Beth stared at Rachel, alarmed. “But your voice will be okay, right? Can you still sing?”
“Not for a few days, sweetie,” Rachel answered, raising an eyebrow toward Quinn to silently ask where Beth’s worry was coming from. Quinn shrugged in response. “I talked to my doctor this morning and he wants me to rest my voice and not sing at all for a week until my cold is gone.”
“But what about Christmas Eve?” Beth questioned. “You always sing at church on Christmas Eve. It’s tradition, Mama, you have to!”
“Sweetheart,” Rachel said carefully, a bit taken aback by the tears that had formed in Beth’s eyes. “I’m not going to be able to sing for church this year, but it’s going to be okay. I’ll still go to the service with you and Mommy, I promise.”
“But you have to sing, Mama, you have to! It’s the best part of church and everybody loves it when you sing and Mommy loves it too, she said so last year, it’s your favorite part of Christmas, right Mommy?”
“Bethy, baby,” Quinn leaned down and wiped the tears off her daughter’s cheeks. “Mama’s okay, I promise. She just has a cold and she’s lost her singing voice for a few days, that’s all. She’s going to be just fine. Everything’s okay.”
“No it’s not,” Beth sobbed, the tears falling faster. “Now it’s not going to be a good Christmas and it’s all my fault!” She wriggled out of Quinn’s grasp and climbed the stairs quickly, ignoring her mothers’ requests to stay with them. “I’m so sorry, Mama,” she said through her tears before shutting her bedroom door.
Rachel looked at Quinn, alarmed. “Is she okay?”
Quinn shrugged again, honestly unsure. “I don’t know, Rach. I have no idea what that was about. Do you want to go talk to her or do you want me to?”
Rachel shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, looking over her shoulder to where her fathers were still standing in the doorway, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, Dad, Daddy,” she apologized. “Please come in, stay for dinner. We’ll get this thing with Bethy straightened out and then I know she’d love to spend some time with you.”
The Misters Berry nodded, moving to take off their coats. “Take all the time you need, sweetheart,” Daniel said, opening the coat closet and taking out a hanger. “We’ll just make ourselves comfortable in the family room until she’s ready.”
“And please, just let us know if there’s anything we can do to help,” Jacob added, handing his coat to his husband. “I hate to see my favorite girl hurting like that.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” Rachel said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, both of you.”
The four adults turned abruptly when they heard Beth’s bedroom door open and watched as she marched purposefully down the stairs with her hands balled into fists at her sides. Even through her confusion Rachel couldn’t help but smile at how well her daughter was prepared to conduct the perfect diva storm-out when she got older.
“I need to go back to the mall,” Beth said calmly.
“Did you lose something while we were there, baby?” Quinn asked, already moving to the coat closet to make sure Beth had made it home with her hat and gloves.
“No, Mommy,” Beth answered quietly. “I need to see Santa again.”
“But you just saw him an hour ago,” Quinn replied, confused. “You can write him a letter if you thought of something else for your list.”
“No, Mommy,” Beth said again, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m afraid you don’t understand. I need to see him now.”
“Beth Fabray!” Rachel admonished. “I know that you know better than to speak to your mother that way.”
“I’m sorry,” Beth whispered, the tears beginning again. “But it’s important. Will you please take me back to the mall, please?”
“Honey, I’m sorry,” Quinn said, “but I can’t right now. Your Mama just got home and she’s not feeling well and Grampy and Papa are here to see you and dinner’s going to be ready soon. I think we need to stay here this afternoon, but we’ll try to see Santa one more time before Christmas, okay?”
Beth shook her head, crying harder. “No, Mommy, it’s really important. Please can we go today?”
“Actually,” Jacob broke in, looking to Quinn for approval. “Grampy and I have to run to the mall before dinner anyway, so maybe - ”
“Please take me with you!” Beth begged, throwing herself toward her grandfather. “Please, Mommy, can I go?”
Quinn looked at Rachel, then eyed Jacob. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked. “You really don’t have to take her.”
“We want to,” Daniel spoke up, reaching for the coat closet again. “Honest.”
“Alright,” Quinn sighed, earning smiles from all of the room’s occupants. “But Bethy, you need to start acting like the big girl you are, okay? That’s the deal. I know you’ve had a rough day, and it’s okay to be sad, but your behavior is unacceptable. If you go back to the mall with Grampy and Papa no more tantrums and back-talking, okay?”
Beth nodded, throwing her arms around Quinn’s waist. “I promise, Mommy. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby,” Quinn answered, reaching for Beth’s coat to help her into it. “You be good at the mall.”
“I will,” Beth answered, pulling on her hat and walking over to Rachel to give her a hug. “Promise you’ll be here when I get back?”
Rachel smiled. “Of course, peanut.”
“Good.” She grabbed her grandfather’s hand and started to pull him toward the door. “Bye Mama, love you!” she shouted as she skipped down the front porch steps. “And don’t worry, you’ll feel better real soon!”
------------
“I missed you,” Quinn sighed, curling up against Rachel’s side on the couch. “How about you never go away again?”
Rachel smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of Quinn’s head. “How about you just come with me?”
“That’d work too. I just don’t like being away from you. I don’t sleep well when no one is snoring in my ear.”
“I do not snore, Fabray.”
Quinn grinned, wrapping her arm around Rachel’s stomach. “You just keep telling yourself that.”
Rachel giggled, then coughed, reaching up behind her to pull a blanket down off the back of the couch to wrap around her and Quinn. “I’m so glad I’m home. I would feel so much worse if I was alone in a hotel room right now.”
“I’m really glad you’re here too, babe, I’ll be sure to take good care of you,” Quinn said, adjusting the blanket up around Rachel’s shoulders, and leaning up to place a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry your surprise wasn’t as well-received as we thought it’d be.”
“What was that about, anyway?” Rachel asked. “Has she been like that all week?”
Quinn sighed again. “Not really, she missed you a lot, but the way she’s been acting since you got home is entirely new to me. She was so excited to see you too, that’s all she talked about on the way home from seeing Santa…” Quinn trailed off, the color draining from her face. “Oh, god.”
“What’s wrong?” Rachel asked, sitting up straighter and throwing the blanket off. “Are you okay?”
“She asked for you for Christmas,” Quinn groaned, burying her face in her hands. “She told Santa the thing she wanted most of all was for you to come home early to spend time with her.”
It was silent for a moment. “She thinks it’s her fault I’m sick,” Rachel said finally. “No wonder she was so upset. And I didn’t say anything to correct her.”
“You didn’t know, Rach,” Quinn said sternly. “If anyone’s at fault, it’s me. I knew what she asked for and I didn’t even connect the dots.”
“Now don’t you go blaming yourself either,” Rachel paused to blow her nose. “When she gets back with my dads we’ll just sit her down and explain that I was sick and on my way home long before you even left for the mall this morning. It’ll be alright, we’ll just explain that, even though Santa is magic, he didn’t have anything to do with this one.”
“You’re right,” Quinn relaxed, leaning back against Rachel. “We can take the pressure off her for this without ruining her spirit. She’s only six, I think we can get a few more years out of Santa Claus.”
“Definitely,” Rachel agreed. “Even as a young Jew, it was nice to believe there was someone out there who had all the answers. Beth deserves to believe Santa can do anything.”
As if on cue, the door opened and Beth came rushing in, followed by her grandfathers. “Hi Mama! Hi Mommy!” she exclaimed, slipping off her boots and quickly shoving her coat into the closet.
“It sounds like you’re feeling better, Bethy,” Quinn said, smiling at the return of Beth’s Christmas spirit. “I’m glad to see that.”
“Thank you,” Beth spoke, rushing into the family room and jumping on to the couch with her mothers, climbing over Quinn’s legs to land in Rachel’s lap. “Guess what, Mama?”
“What, baby?” Rachel answered, excited to see the light back in her daughter’s eyes.
“You’re going to be able to sing on Christmas Eve! I asked Santa, and he promised he’d give you your voice back for Christmas. I told him it was really really important and he promised!” Beth wrapped her arms around Rachel’s neck, missing the look her mothers shared. “Isn’t that exciting?”
“You really didn’t have to do that for me, peanut,” Rachel answered, choosing her words carefully. “You should ask for a special present for you, my voice will come back on its own.”
“But not in time for Christmas,” Beth answered, frowning. “It’s the only thing I really really want, and I had to ask anyway because it’s because of me that you got sick.”
“Now, baby,” Quinn spoke up. “That’s not true. Mama got sick because of some germs she picked up at one of her shows. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Yes it does,” Beth whispered, ashamed. “I told Santa the first time that the only thing I wanted was for Mama to come home, and he made you sick so you could. I’m really sorry, Mama. But I promise you’ll be better soon, Santa said so.”
“Sweetie,” Rachel began. “It is not your fault I’m sick. I started to feel bad before you talked to Santa today. I was even already on my way home when you did. Santa can’t make me sick, sweetie, I promise.”
“Mama,” Beth said, rolling her eyes. “Santa can do anything, you know that. He’s magical.”
“Well, that may be sweetheart,” Quinn added, “But he didn’t make your Mama sick.”
“No,” Rachel agreed, shaking her head. “He had nothing to do with that, and neither did you.”
“Well it doesn’t matter now anyway,” Beth said, brightening. “He promised to make you better and I’ve been really good all year, so I know he will. I just know it!” Beth watched as her mothers shared another look, then climbed down off of Rachel’s lap. “I’m gonna wash up for dinner, Grampy said it’d be ready when we got home.”
Rachel and Quinn watched in silence as Beth walked out of the family room and past where her grandfathers were sitting in the kitchen on her way to the bathroom.
“Well, shit,” Quinn finally spoke.
“Yeah,” Rachel agreed, not even bothering to scold Quinn for her choice of words.
“We are so screwed.”
------------
“So what are we going to do?” Quinn whispered that night as How the Grinch Stole Christmas played quietly on the television. Beth had fallen asleep halfway through Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and they hadn’t had the heart to move her from where she was cuddled up against Rachel on the couch.
Rachel sniffled quietly, running a hand gently over Beth’s blonde pigtails. “I honestly don’t know. I love that she believes in the magic, but I’m not going to be able to sing in church, Quinn. Listen to me, there’s no way.”
Quinn bit her lip. “Please don’t shoot me for saying this, but what if you lip-synch? You must have a recording of yourself singing ‘O Holy Night’ somewhere.”
Rachel gasped. “I will do no such thing. The risks are too great. What if I was found out?”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure the realization the you’d do anything for your daughter would totally harm your career. Besides, it’s a small church. And you’re technically not even a member there, no one has to know.”
“All the more reason not to, Quinn. I’m pretty sure they only let a Jew sing in your church because I’m beginning to make a name for myself. I don’t want to abuse the little trust they’ve put in me.”
“Or it could be because they’ve seen how much you mean to me and Beth, who were both baptized there, and they really appreciate that you’re willing to come support us and contribute your gifts to our Christmas Eve service.”
“Fine,” Rachel conceded. “I’ll do it, but only if there’s no other option. We need to come up with something better anyways. One technical difficulty and our cover will be blown, and that’ll be even worse for Beth if she finds out we lied.”
“You’re right,” Quinn nodded. “It is too risky. Something is always going wrong with the music in that place, and if Beth finds out it won’t only ruin her faith in Santa, but her faith in us too. What else have you got?”
“I’d like to go give that mall Santa a piece of my mind. Promising little girls things he can’t deliver, really? The nerve! I should report him to the Better Business Bureau. Or the ACLU. Or maybe I’ll just go beat him up.”
Quinn giggled. “Alright, sweetheart, you do that. All sixty-two inches of you can go take on the big bad mall Santa.”
“I’m serious!” Rachel protested. “What did they do when this happened on The Brady Bunch?”
Quinn raised an eyebrow. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“Never mind,” Rachel shook her head. “I watched a lot of classic tv with my dads before I had friends. What if I sing at Sunday service next week? Would that work?”
“Still wouldn’t explain why Santa didn’t give you your voice back in time for Christmas Eve. I suppose she’s too old to fool into thinking Christmas is a few days later, isn’t she?”
“She’s a smart girl, Quinn, at dinner she gave an accurate and updated to-the-minute countdown. I’m pretty sure we can’t sneak that one by her.”
Quinn looked down at her daughter as she sighed in her sleep and grabbed Rachel’s shirt, pulling herself in closer. “Does it make me a bad mother if I suggest we just keep giving her Benadryl so she’ll sleep through the next few days and it’ll throw off her countdown to buy us some time?”
Rachel laughed quietly, rubbing gentle circles on Beth’s back to soothe her back into a deeper sleep. “Remember when we went through all this with Brittany when she wanted Artie to walk? What was that, junior year?”
“Yeah,” Quinn nodded. “Last I knew she still believed, too, so we must have done something right.”
Rachel nodded. “Is that football coach still at McKinley? Maybe she can come play Santa for us and explain why I won’t be able to sing.”
“Is that what we need to do? Have Santa talk to her again?”
“I don’t know, do you think? Or no, wait! What if we make her think my voice is back, but I’m choosing not to sing?”
“And what, pray tell, would prevent Rachel Berry from singing a solo in front of a large and captive audience?”
“Maybe you wanted to sing it this year instead and, because I love you, I was willing to give it to you, just this once.” Quinn raised an eyebrow. “What? It’s plausible. You were in glee.”
“Yeah, so? Doesn’t mean I actually like to sing in front of people. I may have just joined because I had a crush on the lead singer and wanted an excuse to stare at her ass for an extra period every day.”
Rachel smiled, wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh, is that why?”
Quinn grinned. “You know it.”
“And what if I told you you could stare at that ass as much as you want? Would you be willing to sing in my place?”
“Please, Berry,” Quinn rolled her eyes. “Your ass is mine regardless and you know it. I’m not singing in church.”
“But what about Bethy?”
“Yeah!” Quinn said, straightening in her chair excitedly. “What about Bethy?”
“Wait, are you suggesting - “
“Could that work?”
“I think so. Yeah, it should, right? Would she do it?”
Quinn smiled. “She’s like a mini-you. She’ll love it.”
Rachel returned the grin. “We’ll tell her tomorrow. Beth will sing in my place, and Santa can safely come to our house for another year. We’re awesome.”
“Totally,” Quinn responded, reaching her arm out and curling her fingers to bump against Rachel’s outstretched fist.
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“You want me to sing your solo?” Beth asked the next morning between bites of French toast. “Mommy, is she being serious?”
Quinn laughed. “Believe it or not, I think she is, honey.”
“But Mama, you always sing ‘O Holy Night’ on Christmas Eve. It’s a tradition! And you always like to sing solos, no matter what. Remember when you said that understudies are an unnecessary evil because the show must always go on? Is that not true anymore?”
“Oh, that’s still true, peanut, but you’re not an understudy. You’re my daughter and I love you very much and I want to give you the solo, like an extra Christmas present.”
“Mama,” Beth said, climbing out of her chair and walking over to where Rachel sat before climbing up in her lap and wrapping her arms around her neck. “I know what this is really about. You don’t have to be scared that you’ll still be sick. Santa promised you’d be able to sing. You can still keep your solo and maybe I can sing at church some other time.”
Rachel looked to Quinn for help. Beth really was a good kid, but that really wasn’t helping their case at the moment. “Sweetheart, I think what your Mama is saying is that she’s so grateful to you for not being selfish and asking Santa to make her better instead of for something for yourself that she wants to say thank you by letting you sing her song.”
“That’s exactly right. I would love it if you would sing my solo for me.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Beth asked, skeptically.
“Positive, peanut. You’re going to do really great.”
“And you promise you’ll still come to watch me?”
“Of course, baby. I’ll be right in the front pew with Mommy to cheer you on.”
Beth stopped to think for a moment. “Alright,” she said, face breaking into a smile. “I’ll do it!”
“Yay!” Rachel cheered, leaning down to kiss Beth’s cheek. “I’m so excited to see you sing, peanut!”
“I’m excited too, baby,” Quinn added. “Someday when People Magazine calls to get childhood stories about hot new star Beth Fabray I’ll be sure to tell them about this moment.”
Beth giggled. “Will you help me pick out my outfit?”
“Obviously,” Quinn smiled. “We don’t want you making your singing debut in an argyle sweater vest, now do we?”
“Hey!” Rachel squealed over their laughter. “I resent that.”
“She’s just kidding, Mama,” Beth whispered.
“Love you, Rach,” Quinn teased, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah,” Rachel said, sticking her tongue out at Quinn. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m super adorable.”
Quinn laughed. “Fine, but don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to protect.”
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“And we have a special guest at tonight’s service,” Reverend Hoff said, winking at Beth in the front row. “Singing ‘O Holy Night’ this year will be Miss Beth Fabray.”
“Break a leg, peanut,” Rachel whispered as Beth slid down off of Quinn’s lap, casting a terrified look back to her mothers before walking slowly to the front of the church and taking the microphone Reverend Hoff held out to her. She gently smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt and adjusted the cardigan around her shoulders before taking a deep breath and nodding at the piano player, just like how she practiced with Rachel.
The piano gently started playing, the first several chords echoing through the church. Beth looked out to the congregation, realizing for the first time just how many people she was going to be singing for. Even though she knew her mother had performed for crowds ten times this large at least, Beth could hardly imagine that so many people would have their attention focused solely on her. She watched as Quinn sent her a gentle smile and Rachel gave a subtle thumbs up before taking another deep breath and beginning her song.
“O holy night,” she sang, “the stars are brightly shining…”
“What is she doing?” Rachel whispered into Quinn’s ear as their daughter trailed off and the piano played on, before stopping altogether. Silence rang throughout the church as Beth stared at her mothers, wide-eyed, tears forming in her eyes.
“Is it stage fright?” Quinn whispered back, while keeping the smile plastered on her face for their daughter’s sake. “What do we do? Rach?” Quinn turned her head away from Beth, only to find Rachel no longer in her seat.
Quickly turning back, Quinn watched as Rachel approached their daughter at the front of the church, kneeling next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Rachel whispered into Beth’s ear for a moment before nodding to the pianist, who began the opening chords of the song a second time. When it came time for the singing to begin, Rachel squeezed Beth tighter against her as they breathed in together, their voices joining in the first line of the song.
“O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,” they sang together. “It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth.” Rachel stayed quiet as not to overpower Beth, and the lower sounds brought on by the hoarseness in her voice helped her to blend in harmony with Beth’s sweet, innocent voice. They continued the song, each growing more confident in her own voice as it progressed, finally finishing together and looking up in unison to see Quinn’s eyes on them, her entire face glowing in happiness.
“Thank you for the impromptu, yet lovely, duet,” Reverend Hoff spoke as Rachel and Beth made their way back to their seats, sliding into the pew next to Quinn who gave them both a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m sure it was a great reminder to everyone about the true spirit of Christmas. And while we’re on the subject, I’d like you to take a few minutes to visit and share holiday greetings and messages with those around you.”
“That was great, baby,” Quinn whispered, pulling Beth back onto her lap. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mommy,” Beth replied before turning to Rachel. “I told you Santa Claus would give you your voice back in time for Christmas, Mama. He did it, just like I told you he would. See? Nothing is impossible!” She paused, then grinned. "That's I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E."
Quinn raised an eyebrow over Beth’s head, but Rachel just grinned, reaching forward to ruffle Beth’s hair. “It must have worked, peanut, because my voice is back.”
Beth grinned, crawling from Quinn’s lap and into Rachel’s. “This is already the best Christmas ever!”
“Merry Christmas, Bethy,” Quinn spoke, reaching an arm around Rachel’s shoulders to pull both of her girls toward her. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Mommy,” Beth answered. “And you, Mama. Merry Christmas.”