The Other Mother
“Do we have to go?” Quinn whined, batting her eyelashes at Rachel and hoping it would work in her favor and charm her longtime girlfriend into giving in and allowing Quinn to get her way.
“Mom!” Beth cried, adjusting her small body in the kitchen chair after reaching across the table to grab the package of colored pencils. “No whining. That’s the rule.”
“Yes, Quinn,” Rachel grinned, “you of all people should know better.”
“Sorry, baby.” Quinn pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. “But seriously, Rach, why don’t we just stay home? You don’t even celebrate Christmas!”
“This is the first time in the half-decade we’ve been together that your mother has even acknowledged my presence on an invitation, see?” Rachel flailed the card in Quinn’s face, pointing to where it read ‘Quinn Fabray and Guest (Rachel can come too, if she must).’
“Hon,” Quinn smiled, “I’m glad you’re honored, but really, my mom will still be as insufferable tonight as she has been the entire time you’ve known her. It’s just a stupid Christmas party to impress her church friends. She’s not going to acknowledge that we’re together in front of everyone, that would ruin her image. The woman doesn’t even want her own grandchild at the party for fear something might get spilled or broken.” Quinn snatched the invitation out of Rachel’s hand and pointed to the note at the bottom that read ‘Party is for adults only, please leave the young ones at home.’
Rachel rolled her eyes and decided to change the subject. “Well, that’s fine because Beth gets to stay home and hang out with Brittany and have lots of fun. Right, kiddo?” Rachel stroked a hand over Beth’s hair and peered over her shoulder at her drawing as the young girl nodded enthusiastically. “What are you making?”
“A Christmas card for Grandma,” Beth answered as she carefully signed her name in her recently-perfected third grade cursive handwriting. “Will you take it to her when you go to the grown-up party?” She folded the card and carefully handed it to Rachel, who accepted it with a smile and a nod. “Thank you!” Beth cried, kneeling backward on her chair to wrap her arms around Rachel’s neck. “Will you sing me a song before bed tonight?”
Rachel wrapped her arms around the girl and picked her up, careful not to wrinkle her card for Grandma. “Tell you what, sweetheart,” Rachel said as Beth wrapped her legs around Rachel’s waist. “You’ll probably be asleep before your Mom and I get home tonight, so how about I sing you your bedtime song now?”
“Okay,” Beth acquiesced. “Can we sing a song about Hanukkah?” Since Rachel had moved in with Quinn and Beth, she had begun to teach the younger girl about Jewish holidays and traditions and Beth was always eager to learn more.
“You wanna do it down here, or in bed like usual?”
“Let’s pretend it’s bedtime!” Beth cried, wriggling out of Rachel’s arms and down to the floor as she scampered upstairs. “I’ll go to my room and we’ll sing and then you can tuck me in and then I’ll get up again, okay?”
“Okay, sweetie, I’ll be up in a minute.” Rachel smiled at Beth, then turned to Quinn, who was picking up the colored pencils Beth had left strewn across the kitchen table. “Quinn, honey,” she said quietly, gently putting a hand on the small of Quinn’s back and turning her so they stood face to face. “What’s going on with you today? You know we have to go.”
“I know, I’m just nervous. My mother’s never really accepted us, I think she’s still in denial, and I don’t want tonight to turn out to be a huge disaster.”
“Baby, it’s nothing we haven’t dealt with before. I don’t have my hopes up just because my name was on the invite. Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.”
“But what about the baby? You know she’s not going to take that news well. I can’t just waltz in and say ‘Merry Christmas, Mom. Instead of the usual sweater and bottle of wine we give you, have a new grandchild instead. My girlfriend, who you’re still in total denial about, knocked me up with a turkey baster. But it’s all cool, Mom, I’m not sixteen this time so don’t be ashamed. Now, where are the hors d’oeuvres?”
“So we won’t tell her like that. We don’t even have to tell her tonight. Besides, whenever we decide to tell her I’ll be right there with you and I won’t let her bully you, I promise.” Rachel gave Quinn a peck on the forehead. “Everything’s going to be fine. Everyone we’ve told so far has been thrilled for us!”
Quinn shot her a pointed look. “We’ve told Beth. She hardly counts.”
“She counts most of all, Quinn, her opinion matters way more than your mother’s and she’s excited. Plus, Brittany and Santana know too, and they’re just tickled.” Rachel paused. “Well, Brittany is at least. I’m pretty sure Santana is too, even though she doesn’t show it. The point is, it’ll be fine. I promise you that. No matter what your mom says, we’re a family. She can’t change that. Understand?”
Quinn nodded and pulled Rachel in for a hug. “I‘m lucky to have you,” she whispered.
Rachel pulled back a little and grinned. “Yeah, I know.”
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“Are you sure about this Rach?” Quinn asked, standing at the door with her pointer finger paused just an inch away from the doorbell. “It’s not too late, we can turn around.” The door opened and Judy Fabray’s face lit up, ushering her daughter and Rachel inside. “Or not,” she muttered under her breath.
“Quinnie, Rachel, it’s so good to see you!” Judy cried with fake enthusiasm, put on for show and the benefit of her church friends gathered at her house for the holiday party. “Merry Christmas! Let me take your coats.”
“Thank you, Judy,” Rachel said sweetly. “It’s so kind of you to have us. Beth sends her best, she wishes she could have been here tonight. She wanted us to give you this.” Rachel gently extracted the card from her purse and handed it to Judy, who quickly shoved it in the basket that held the Christmas cards the other part guests had dropped off without even glancing at it and rumpled it slightly in her haste.
“Oh, yes, well isn’t that nice. I’m glad you were able to find another babysitter so you could accompany Quinn.” Rachel gritted her teeth into a forced grin and swept her eyes sideways to Quinn, who gave her a half-smile and mouthed the word ‘sorry.’ “Well, come on in,” Judy cried after the awkward pause, “make yourselves at home. Everyone, you remember my daughter Quinn, and this is her friend, Rachel.”
“Girlfriend, Mom,” Quinn spoke loudly, but was unheard by the guests over their cries of ‘Hello again, Quinn,’ and ‘Nice to meet you, Rachel’ and ‘Merry Christmas to you both!’
“Right, well, yes, but they don’t need to know that,” Judy hissed through her smile.
“We’ve been together more than five years, Mom, and we’re in a committed relationship. I wish you’d accept that.”
“Quinn,” Rachel interjected gently, putting her hand on Quinn’s arm. “It’s okay. Let’s go get something to drink.”
“Yes, please do, ladies,” Judy sighed, looking around the room for an easy out of her current conversation. “I must return to my hostess duties, but I will be around to see you later tonight.” She nodded and smiled, effectively dismissing them and watched as her daughter and her girlfriend walked toward the dining room to mingle with the other guests.
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“And your daughter, Elizabeth, right?” Quinn nodded. “She must be what, almost a teenager now?”
Quinn smiled, shook her head, and answered, “No, actually she’s only nine and a half.” Quinn knew Mrs. Kennedy, who sat two pews in front of her family in church since Quinn was a toddler, knew full well just how old Beth was but couldn’t resist the opportunity for a veiled jab at Quinn and her teenage pregnancy. “But she certainly acts like a teenager sometimes,” Quinn joked.
Rachel smiled and wrapped her arm around Quinn’s waist. “She certainly has her moments.”
“Oh, and how do you know Elizabeth?” Mrs. Kennedy asked, eyeing Rachel suspiciously.
“Mrs. Kennedy, I’m so sorry, I thought you already knew each other. This is Rachel Berry, my girlfriend.”
“How nice! I love that you have found friends who are so willing to be involved in your child’s life, Quinn.” She turned to Rachel. “So do you normally watch Elizabeth when Quinn is busy?”
“Um, no, Mrs. Kennedy,” Rachel spoke, uncharacteristically unsure of herself. “I’m afraid you misunderstood. I don’t watch Beth when Quinn can’t, I’m helping to raise her.” Mrs. Kennedy furrowed her brow. “You see, Quinn and I aren’t girlfriends in the platonic sense. We…we’re actually in a committed relationship.”
“Oh,” Mrs. Kennedy spoke, the distaste showing on her features as her eyes scanned their bodies to see Rachel’s arm snaked around Quinn’s waist. “I see.” And with that, Mrs. Kennedy walked away, leaving Rachel and Quinn standing by themselves in the corner of the formal living room.
“That went…well,” Rachel smiled, pressing a kiss to Quinn’s cheek. “Can I get you anything? Do you need to sit down? You’ve been on your feet a lot today, babe.”
“I’m fine, honey,” Quinn answered, grinning. “I’m not an invalid, just pregnant.”
“Excuse me?” Judy spoke, stepping up beside them holding a glass of champagne. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I just overheard you two talking and it sounded like you said you were pregnant, Quinnie.” She laughed. “How my silly ears deceive me! I must know, dear, what was it you really said?”
Quinn froze. She knew that she’d eventually have to tell her mother, but she really hadn’t planned to do it yet and certainly not in the middle of a party filled with her mother’s prejudiced friends. She was fairly certain she had turned white as a ghost and felt herself becoming woozy. She felt Rachel’s arm encircle her waist again, and her other hand take Quinn’s own in a firm but comforting grasp. Drawing strength from Rachel’s touch, Quinn felt her senses coming back slowly. After sharing a look and a nod with her girlfriend, Quinn took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked her mother in the eye. “Mom, you heard correctly. I’m pregnant.”
Quinn watched as the color drained out of her mother’s face and her eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed into a glare. “Who’s the father?”
“Well, that’s…you see, Mom, it doesn’t always have to be…”
“Mrs. Fabray, Judy,” Rachel stepped in, squeezing Quinn’s hand as she did. “There is no father, exactly. We carefully chose a sperm donor for genetic contribution and Quinn was artificially inseminated, but there will be no father in the baby’s life. Quinn and I will be raising the baby as our own.”
Judy was clearly perplexed. “I just don’t understand,” she said. “Aren’t you a little young? You have plenty of time still ahead of you in your life, you could find a real man, settle down, have children with him.”
Quinn stared at her mother disbelievingly, certain she was going to snap. She squeezed Rachel’s hand tightly again and Rachel stepped forward to take the lead. Retaining her calm, she decided to first address the easy and less offensive part of Judy’s concerns. “We are young, yes, but after extensive discussions on the topic we’ve decided that the time is right for us. We want Beth and the new baby to be close and feel that a longer delay would put too many years between them. We both have steady jobs, a house with a yard, and enough money saved up to continue to live comfortably even with Quinn’s maternity leave and me taking some time off to stay home with the baby when Quinn goes back to work.”
“Excuse me,” Judy interrupted, addressing not Rachel but her own daughter. “If you’re not willing to take time off to raise the baby, Quinn, then you should let her stay with me. Any child should grow up around family, I know we’ve taught you that. We did not send you to a babysitter as a child, and you shouldn’t with this baby either. It’s bad enough that you’ve allowed Rachel to move into the same house as my granddaughter.”
Feeling Rachel tense up beside her, Quinn couldn’t help but step in. Raising her voice, she shouted, “Mother! Rachel will be this baby’s mother too! I know this is difficult for you to understand, but you need to get it through your head that Rachel and I are in love and plan to spend the rest of our lives together with Beth and the new baby and any other children we may or may not choose to have together in the future. I will not be waiting for a man because I don’t need a man. I love Rachel, and Rachel loves me, and the baby, and Beth. So please, just accept it or leave it alone. Let’s get out of here, babe.” Quinn grabbed Rachel’s arm and stormed to the coat closet, pulling out first Rachel’s coat and then her own.
“Don’t burn bridges,” Judy snapped at her daughter. “Someday Rachel’s going to decide she doesn’t want to play house with you and you’re going to be alone and need your family. Even if she manages to love the new baby like a true mother, she could never love Beth that way, just like Beth won’t ever be able to love her. They’re not family, don’t you think Beth knows that? She’s just going to continue to be confused and uncomfortable in her own home and that is simply unfair to her.” By now, all the shouting had attracted an audience as the party guests stood gathered around the entryway, eyes wide and mouths gaping. “You’ll regret this, Quinnie, I know that deep down you know the truth. You’re not a family now and a baby is not going to change that!”
“We’re leaving now, Mom,” Quinn said calmly but with tears in her eyes. Quinn followed Rachel out the front door, then slammed it behind her.
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“I’m sorry.”
Rachel silently buckled her seatbelt and shifted the car into drive. She turned on the lights and pulled out onto the side street, heading toward the highway and eventually, toward home.
“Rach, baby, I’m sorry. Please talk to me, honey, please. You know that’s not how I feel, my mom is just being stupid and her friends are all brainwashed. Don’t pay any attention to her, Rachel, please.”
“Save it, Quinn,” Rachel sighed. “It’s not your apology to make, okay?”
“But she’s my mother, and they’re her friends. These people, they think the way I used to, before I learned better, before I loved you. I was raised in this world, Rach, and I need you to know I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t make this about you.”
Quinn was silenced. That wasn’t what she had intended, she didn’t want this to turn into a fight between the two of them. They knew they’d face opposition, that Quinn’s family would likely be the cause of the majority of that opposition. Rachel had been prepared, Quinn didn’t know why she was taking it so hard. But she didn’t need to know, and they didn’t need to fight. They were on the same side here, they had chosen to expand their family, bring a new baby into the world together. Rachel had been an active participant in the decision, and the preparation, and even the conception, and Quinn knew that she’d play an even more active role throughout the pregnancy, the birth, the midnight feedings, the scraped knees, the second grade bullies. Just like she had for Beth. Oh, god, Beth. That’s why Rachel was so hurt.
“Beth’s yours too, you know,” Quinn spoke quietly and watched as Rachel’s hands clenched around the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. “More than she’s ever been Puck’s. Hell, as much as she’ll ever be mine.”
Rachel stared straight ahead as she pulled onto the highway, her face stoic expect the one lone tear that crept slowly down her cheek. She was silent for a long while, exiting the highway before she spoke again, pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store at the edge of town. Quinn raised an eyebrow, but didn’t speak. Rachel fiddled in the console between the front seat before pulling out a pack of tissues and blowing her nose. The two sat in silence, until Rachel finally spoke. “I do love her.”
It was barely a whisper, more like Rachel breathed the words. But it was enough for Quinn to know that Rachel was ready to open up. Pulling her close and, eventually, onto her lap, Quinn quietly rocked Rachel, rubbing soothing circles in her back and talking quietly into her hair. “I know, baby,” she said. “I know you do. And Bethy knows it too, I promise you that.”
“What about the baby? Will she know?”
“Of course she will. You’re going to be her mom, too, honey. Just because she has my genes doesn’t mean I’ll be a better mother to her than you will. We’ve talked about this, babe.”
“No, I know.” Rachel took a deep breath, her whole body shaking on the exhale. “It’s just, the stuff your mom said tonight, I let it get to me. I know I shouldn’t, but she’s right. I’m not this baby’s mother, I’m not Beth’s mother, I’m just a stranger living in their house. I know that I’m not Beth’s mom, that’s you, and Puck is her dad. I can be okay with that as long as I can still play some role in her life. But this baby, Quinn? She’s supposed to be mine. And she won’t be, not really.”
“Oh, honey,” Quinn sighed, smoothing Rachel’s hair and gently rocking her more. “I’m so sorry baby.”
“No, Quinn, you don’t need to be sorry, this isn’t your fault. It’s just, what happens when she’s thirteen and I tell her she can’t stay out past curfew and she storms away yelling ‘You’re not my mother, you can’t tell me what to do’? Do you realize how much that’s going to hurt?” Quinn nodded wordlessly and pressed a kiss to the crown of Rachel’s head. “Or what about when she’s in third grade and she has to do that genealogy project Beth did? I won’t be included in that. Quinn, I can’t even feed her when she’s a baby. It’s a mother’s job to nourish her child, and I won’t even be able to do that. She’ll know, Quinn, she’ll bond with you and not with me and she’ll just know.”
“Rach,” Quinn began softly, taking her hands in her own and placing them gently on the slight swell of her stomach. “This baby already loves you. She doesn’t care that I’m the one carrying her and not you. She doesn’t care that I’ll be the one to feed her, even though I’m planning to pump so you can have equal turns. She doesn’t even care that she has my genes. Rachel, honey, when you talk to the baby, when you sing to her, she’s getting to know and love your voice. And I’m certain that is just one of the many things she’ll love about you when she gets here. Before you know it, she’ll love how gently you hold her and the way your arms feel around her when you rock her to sleep. And she’ll love how carefully you bathe her and keep all of the soap away from her eyes. And she’ll love that you’ll get right down on the floor and crawl around with her and when she’s a little older you’ll be the one to sneak her downstairs for midnight snacks like you do with Beth now and think I haven’t figured out yet.”
Rachel looked up guiltily, but cracked a small smile. “Thanks, babe. For everything you just said and for not busting our midnight ice cream parties.”
Quinn smiled too. “Do you remember when Beth was three and she had the chicken pox?” Rachel nodded. “It was before we were even dating, really, and you just came over to hang out a lot. There was that one night when she was so sick and so miserable and I just felt like I couldn’t do anything for her and I called you in a panic. Do you remember what you did?”
“I came over,” Rachel answered, looking perplexed. “Of course I came, you needed help.”
“But do you remember what you did when you came over? You came right in and ran up to Beth’s room, set up the portable DVD player with The Little Mermaid, and climbed right into bed with her. You let her sit on your lap and rest her head back on your chest and you gently but discretely held her arms down so she’d stop scratching. Do you remember that baby?”
Rachel nodded. “I came down with the chicken pox two days later.”
“Exactly,” Quinn smiled. “And that’s when I knew. When I found out you’d never had the chicken pox before but you climbed right into her bed and just held Beth for hours, I thought ‘That is the kind of person I want in Beth’s life.’ And as things between us progressed, I just knew that you were exactly the woman I wanted to have more children with.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’re going to be a wonderful mother to the baby, Rach, and you already are to Beth. They’re both very lucky to have you.”
Rachel smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Quinn’s lips. “I love you,” she said, before scooting back and gently lifting the front of Quinn’s sweater and pressing her lips to the small but growing baby bump. “And I love you too, very, very much.”
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“Hey, Britt,” Rachel sighed, easing the door open and flipping on the hallway light.
Brittany yawned, stretched, and sat up on the couch, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “Hey, you’re back. Is everything okay? Where’s Quinn?”
“She’s in the car still. Wanted to call her mother before she came in.”
“Rough night?” Brittany asked, concerned, walking over to where Rachel was hanging her coat in the hall closet.
“You could say,” Rachel answered, decisively ending the discussion on that topic. “How was Beth?”
“Oh, you know, amazing as usual. We ate pizza and watched a movie and played Boggle until bedtime.” Brittany frowned. “She won.”
Rachel smirked. “Is she asleep?”
“Probably, she went up about two hours ago. But go up and see her anyways. She kept asking all night when you would get home. She missed you.”
“I’ll have Quinn go up when she comes in, I’m sure she’ll want to kiss her goodnight.”
“You should go too, Rach. All night, it was ‘Rachel this’ and ‘Rachel that.’ The kid worships the ground you walk on, you know.”
Rachel smiled. “Thanks, Britt. For everything. It was really great of you to watch Bethy for us tonight.”
“Any time, just say the word. She really is a great kid.” Brittany grinned, pushing one arm, then the other, into her coat and wrapping it around her. “I’ll just say hi to Quinn on the way out. You go see your girl.”
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Gently pushing Beth aside, Rachel climbed into bed next to her, settling her front against Beth’s back and resting her chin atop the girl’s head, inhaling the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo.
“Mama?” the girl whispered sleepily, reaching her hand up to rub at her eyes.
“No, baby, it’s me.” Rachel stilled, wondering if she’d ever really answer to that name. “Don’t wake up. Your mama and I just got home and I wanted to come in and lay with you a minute. I missed you tonight, sweetheart.”
“I missed you too, Rachy.”
Rachel smiled, smoothing the girl’s hair before gently kissing her hair and resting her chin a top her head once again. Beth hadn’t called her that in years, she seemed to have outgrown it when she entered school, but in her sleepy state she reverted back to that time when Rachel was an all-knowing superhero who could make the best blanket forts and blueberry pancakes and kiss booboos better without even using a band aid.
“Rachel?” Beth asked quietly a moment later, sounding more alert despite the fact that Rachel thought she had fallen back asleep. “Can I ask you something?”
“What is it, sweetie? You know you can ask me anything.”
Beth turned to face Rachel, the small twin bed causing them to be close together. She furrowed her brow and put on a serious face that, even though it was shadowed by the light of the nightlight, was so quintessentially Rachel that Rachel herself couldn’t help but smile. Beth’s eyes met hers, then the smaller girl curled in on the larger, laying her head atop Rachel’s chest, snuggling in and hiding her face.
Rachel’s heart started pounding faster with worry for what the little girl could have to say that she seemed so nervous about. She briefly wondered if Beth could feel her heart beat as she absently began rubbing her hand in small circles on Beth’s back.
“I know you said the new baby won’t be here for a long time still,” Beth began, mumbling into Rachel’s chest. “But when she is, will you still love me?”
Rachel was shocked, she had never expected Beth to worry about that, much less voice her concerns. When they had set her down to explain that she would become a big sister, she and Quinn had done everything they could to assure Beth that they weren’t replacing her and that she would always be their little girl. Feeling Beth stiffen and then begin to shake as she buried her face further against her, Rachel realized how her silence could be misinterpreted and she needed to respond to the girl.
“Oh, Bethy,” she said, hugging the girl even tighter against her. “Of course we’ll still love you. Your mom and I both love you very, very much and that isn’t going to change. Not ever, honey.”
“I know Mama will still love me,” Beth whispered through her tears, crying harder now. “But what about you, Rachel? I don’t think you’ll love me anymore.”
Beth buried her face even further still into Rachel’s chest, her body wracked with sobs as Rachel felt her heart shatter into thousands of pieces. What had she done wrong along the way that made Beth think she wouldn’t love her anymore? She played back the past week in her head, trying to remember anything she might have said that Beth could have misinterpreted, or even a time she may have been particularly harsh in doling out reprimands and punishment. Rachel couldn’t come up with anything though. Maybe she just wasn’t cut out for motherhood after all. It was a good thing the new baby would be all Quinn, she thought, albeit a bit bitterly, to herself.
Still, she hugged Beth tighter, hoping the strength of her arms around the girl she’s always thought of as a daughter would hold them both together, at least a little longer. After several long minutes, Beth’s sobs began to quiet and, with a few last hiccups, she began to whisper to Rachel once again.
“I know you love me, just like Mama, that’s what you always say. But Mama has to love me, cause I’m hers, you know, like with the genes or whatever you were talking about that one time you tried to explain it to me.” Rachel smiled through her tears, loving that Beth had inherited her tendency to ramble as well. “But you don’t have the same genes as me so you don’t have to love me. And when the new baby gets here, even though she’ll have Mama’s genes too, I think you’ll love her more because you’re going to be her Mommy like you said, and Mama’s gonna be her mom too. But I’ve only got Mama and you’re my Rachel. And I love that you’re my Rachel, but you don’t have to love me because you’re not my Mommy like for the new baby.” Beth sighed, wiped her tears, and yet again hid her face, this time away from Rachel and into the pillows.
Realizing where this was coming from, Rachel took a deep breath. She hadn’t messed anything up, she just needed to continue to reassure Beth that she will always think of her as a daughter.
“Elizabeth,” Rachel said, setting the serious tone for the conversation and turning Beth’s face out of the pillows to lock her into eye contact. “Listen to me, sweetie, and listen well, okay? Just because we don’t share the same genes doesn’t make me love you any less. I know some people in the world think that your Mama will always love you more than me because she had you, but it’s not true. Love doesn’t happen just because you lived in her stomach and then she helped bring you into the world, okay? I love you just as much as she does because I have all these special memories with you that mean so much to me.”
“Really?” Beth asked disbelievingly, scooting away from Rachel on the bed but then changing her mind and reaching her hands out to keep the contact. Rachel nodded, scooting up to sit up in bed, back resting against the headboard, and pulled Beth into her lap.
“Really. I love you because you build the best blanket forts of anybody I know. And I love you because you give really, really good hugs, especially when I’m sad and I need you to make me feel better. And I love you because you come see me backstage at my shows and help me practice my songs before I go on. And I love you because you sneak downstairs with me in the middle of the night for ice cream sundaes. And I love you because, even though you don’t really look like me and we don’t have the same DNA, you’ve always been my little girl. Always. Does that make sense?”
Beth nodded, wrapping her arms around Rachel’s neck and crying into her shoulder. Again, Rachel rubbed small circles in her back and inhaled the sweet baby scent she still had about her, still so reminiscent of when she was an infant and Rachel and Quinn were just friends and Rachel would come over to hang out with them on the weekends. Rachel really had loved her even then, before it was even a thought that she’d someday be family. Beth was Rachel’s little girl, and nobody, nowhere, was going to ever tell her any different.
“Rachel?” Beth questioned again, quietly, several minutes later.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I was thinking. You know how when the baby can talk she’s gonna call you Mommy and not Rachel?” Rachel nodded, still rubbing slow circles on Beth’s back. “Well, I think maybe I’ll confuse the baby when I call you Rachel. Don’t you think? So I was wondering, maybe, if it’s alright with you, and with Mama, but really it’s okay if it’s not because I totally understand -“
“Beth,” Rachel interrupted. “You can say whatever you want to me, no apologies. You know that.”
“I know. I guess I just wondered if maybe it would be okay with you if I could call you Mommy too? Since, you know, you love me just like a Mommy does and if you’re really going to love me the same as the baby and that’s what the baby will call you it kind of just makes sense.”
“Of course, you can, sweetie. I would love that.” Rachel blinked back the tears. “You can still call me Rachel sometimes too, if you want to just try it out and see how it goes. But I would be happy to be your Mommy.”
Beth hugged her tighter. “I love you, Mommy,” she whispered.
“I love you too, baby girl,” Rachel beamed through her tears. “More than you could ever imagine.”
A moment later, the door creaked open and a small sliver of light from the hallway helped to illuminate the room.
“Hi Mama,” Beth said quietly, not even lifting her head off of Rachel’s shoulder.
“Hey, here’s my two favorite girls,” Quinn smiled, kissing them each on the forehead before sitting down gently on the edge of the bed and running a hand through her daughter’s hair. “I hate to break up the party, but I think it’s past everyone’s bedtimes.”
“You’re right,” Rachel said, lifting Beth up and placing her gently on the bed, tucking the covers around her as Quinn stood, placing another kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Sweet dreams, baby. Your mama and I will be right down the hall if you need anything.” Rachel placed a kiss of her own on Beth’s forehead and grabbed Quinn’s hand as they headed out of the room.
“Goodnight, Mama,” came Beth’s voice from the bed as Rachel and Quinn stepped into the hallway. “And goodnight, Mommy.”
Quinn turned to look at Rachel, raising an eyebrow. “That’s new.”
Rachel nodded and smiled, pulling Quinn’s hips in until their bodies touched, fitting together perfectly. “That’s one fantastic little girl in there. You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”
“No,” Quinn said sternly, then leaned in and placed a sweet and lingering kiss on Rachel’s lips. “We have.”