It's hard to know exactly where these feelings stem from...
I'm depressed. Really fucking depressed. My dreams last night reminded me constantly of the things I can not have. I woke up hoping to dream about something else when I feel back asleep only to dream about the same thing in a different context.
I fucking miss her. She doesn't miss me. I'm not even sure what she thinks or feels on the subject. He had a glorious love, which dwindled and died in her heart, replaced by another guy. Now I am left here, feeling rejected and used. Crying myself to sleep nightly.
I was going to hang out with Jenn today, but she took to long and now getting there would give us little time to hang out before I would drive back home. And sadly, in my state of mind, I just don't feel like driving. I was sitting at an intersection and had a strong urge, that I quickly fought away, to just pull out into the cross traffic. I don't like that feeling, it scared me. So I came home. What do you do when the one person you rely on to help make you happy is the one that hurt you so bad? Lifes not fucking fair and I don't knw what the fuck to do, besides just live. Live my mundane existance. I hate waking up in the morning, I hate going to sleep, I hate he time I'm alone throughout the day (which is mostly ALL of it). It leaves my mind open to think about the things that depress me. Those stupid fucking questions of "why?" that I will never get answered. The wrongs in my life that will never be righted.
I fucking miss her. She doesn't miss me. I'm not even sure what she thinks or feels on the subject. He had a glorious love, which dwindled and died in her heart, replaced by another guy. Now I am left here, feeling rejected and used. Crying myself to sleep nightly.
I was going to hang out with Jenn today, but she took to long and now getting there would give us little time to hang out before I would drive back home. And sadly, in my state of mind, I just don't feel like driving. I was sitting at an intersection and had a strong urge, that I quickly fought away, to just pull out into the cross traffic. I don't like that feeling, it scared me. So I came home. What do you do when the one person you rely on to help make you happy is the one that hurt you so bad? Lifes not fucking fair and I don't knw what the fuck to do, besides just live. Live my mundane existance. I hate waking up in the morning, I hate going to sleep, I hate he time I'm alone throughout the day (which is mostly ALL of it). It leaves my mind open to think about the things that depress me. Those stupid fucking questions of "why?" that I will never get answered. The wrongs in my life that will never be righted.