Lame guilt.
I was originally supposed to work Fri-Mon this weekend, but someone at work needed an extra shift, so I gave her my Saturday shift. Now I have ALL day to spend at my grandparents' acerage, helping them plant the gardens.
I'm so excited to just be outside, away from the fast-paced, cluttered environment of the city. To get some peace and quiet for my cluttered mind.
But...this excitement is not without strings.
Ever since I was young, my family (close and extended) has drilled a very strict work ethic in all of us kids. For those of you who don't know my extended family, they come from a family of dirt-poor farmers, who worked insanely hard every day of their lives to make ends meet. This background teaches me a lot, but also comes with expectations. Ever since my first part-time job in grade 9, I've always worked as much as I could. I always took as many shifts as I could squeeze in each week, worked as many jobs as possible at once, and rarely called in sick.
But now, this spring, I'm afraid that I'm becoming lazy, because I'm not working as much as I could be working. I'm not taking any day shifts (I love my spring mornings), rarely working 5 days a week, and giving away shifts without a second thought.
Which leads to the title of this entry.
Lame, unnecessary guilt that I place on myself without fail,
because I am (or used to be) the classic example of an over-achiever.
I'm not sure how to get rid of this feeling,
or if I should just continue on the way I am right now, pushing it aside.
I'm so excited to just be outside, away from the fast-paced, cluttered environment of the city. To get some peace and quiet for my cluttered mind.
But...this excitement is not without strings.
Ever since I was young, my family (close and extended) has drilled a very strict work ethic in all of us kids. For those of you who don't know my extended family, they come from a family of dirt-poor farmers, who worked insanely hard every day of their lives to make ends meet. This background teaches me a lot, but also comes with expectations. Ever since my first part-time job in grade 9, I've always worked as much as I could. I always took as many shifts as I could squeeze in each week, worked as many jobs as possible at once, and rarely called in sick.
But now, this spring, I'm afraid that I'm becoming lazy, because I'm not working as much as I could be working. I'm not taking any day shifts (I love my spring mornings), rarely working 5 days a week, and giving away shifts without a second thought.
Which leads to the title of this entry.
Lame, unnecessary guilt that I place on myself without fail,
because I am (or used to be) the classic example of an over-achiever.
I'm not sure how to get rid of this feeling,
or if I should just continue on the way I am right now, pushing it aside.