It's not about you
When you're pulled in all different directions, when everyone and everything seems to need a piece of you, when you have to take care of your spouse, and your children, and your extended family, and the household tasks, and your responsibilities at work, and the list goes on and on, it's easy to fall into despair and ask, what about me? What about my wants, my needs? When do I get taken cared of? WHAT ABOUT ME?
I was at the brink of this last week, just waiting for the full on despair to hit, when I happen to be re-watching Dr. Strange on HBO. In the scene when the Ancient One was about to die, she said something that spoke to me.
"Arrogance and fear are keeping you from learning the most significant lesson of all. It's not about you."
It's not about you.
That's what I've been trying to teach my Grade 12 last year, what I should know by now but keep forgetting. My life is not about me.
I was given my family to take care of. They are a gift, and my ability to take care of them is also a gift. My home is a gift, my job is a gift. And when I think about it, serving my family, caring for my home, and doing my job, all bring me joy.
It is when I think about myself that I am most dissatisfied, and when I surrender to God's will in all humility that I am most content. I was created to praise, reverence, and serve God. It is when I fulfill my purpose that I am happiest. Of course that doesn't mean I never get tired, or need time for myself. I still need to be taken cared of. But because I know whom I belong to, I also know who takes care of me.
"The Lord is my shepherd. There is nothing I shall want. In verdant pastures, He gives me repose, beside restful waters, He leads me, He refreshes my soul."
When I find a little time to get a pedicure, that's God taking care of me. When I'm able to do a little knitting, and my daughter decides to help or keep me company, God is taking care of me. Even when things get difficult or challenging, everything works out in the end. He takes care of me beyond what I know or see. He grants me daily miracles, big and small.
Like when I'm about to fall into despair, He speaks to me through the Ancient One and reminds me how truly blessed I am.
And now I am home, and rested, and well. Living this wonderful life that is not about me.