Thoughts on our US Trip
I consider myself fairly well traveled. I am by no means a jet-setter, but I've been around, in my lifetime, I've been around South East Asia, Australia and Europe. Which is probably why people are always surprised when I tell them I've never been to the States. It's almost ironic, given that most Filipinos first destination abroad is the US. Well, our trip to the States last month was my first time there, and it was a curious eye-opener for me.
You see I am a TV junkie. I watch TV all the time. Especially in the past few years, when I'm pregnant and unemployed, or breastfeeding nonstop, there were days when I was never out of my pajamas. I was just in bed, with a baby stuck to my boob and the TV kept me company because, really, there's nothing else you can do while an infant sucked your brains out through your chest (until I discovered Farmville, but that's another story). And until now, I'm so far away and beyond pregnancy and nursing, I still have my TV-all-day days. It's shameful. The thing is, aside from downloads, I always only watch US TV. I have almost zero knowledge of local TV while I devour American murder mysteries and crime dramas (Law and Order marathons, CSI, Criminal Minds, NCIS), talk shows (Oprah, Ellen, Martha, Leno, Letterman, etc), and home decorating shows on Lifestyle (they don't air my favorites anymore so I don't get to watch as much). Add to that all the sitcoms, showbiz gossip shows, reality shows, I am immersed in American culture for many hours a day.
So you can imagine through daily TV shows, movies, the internet, magazines, even literature, all the media available to me has led me to believe that even though I've never been to the States, I know all about the US. I guess it surprised me (but it shouldn't have) that when I went there, a lot of my impressions were kind of silly. Like, just as an example, their crime dramas, Criminal Minds in particular, led me to think there were serial killers lurking in every corner in the States. I mean, they caught at least one crazy every week, and they're from all over the country! In the States I learned that Americans are some of the nicest people on the planet. They like greeting you, and talking to you, and they just do their best to be helpful, like on a bus in San Francisco, Mike and Ino and I were discussing how to get to the House of Prime Rib, when a complete stranger interjects and says "Did you say the House of Prime Rib? That place is awesome! They actually serve seconds!" That has never happened to me before, in any country, ever. I feel like I could never butt into a stranger's overheard conversation, cause it would be rude of me. But for them it isn't rude. They're just being helpful.
I was most impressed by their service industry. Now that I've seen how their waiters and waitresses go all out on you, I understand why tipping is such a big deal that Oprah had a whole segment of her show just discussing it. And why there are stories of waiters who would run after customers to the parking lot asking why they had undertipped. In the Philippines, we don't expect waiters to do much more than take our orders and then bring them over. And please be attentive enough to refill our glasses. The experience wasn't noticeably different for me in any of the other countries I've visited. American waiters and waitresses, in good restaurants, their entire service crew seems personally invested in your having a great dining experience. They ask how your day was, where you're from, what's good, what did the chef just catch, it's super fresh and not even in the menu, you should try it... Is everything ok, is there any other way I can help you, etc etc etc. It's like eating at someone's house and that someone cares about you that you're having a good time. So now I knew why you really should tip 12-15% of your bill, and that they really deserve it, because they work truly hard for that tip. AND I now also understand why bad restaurant service makes Mike angry. Dining out isn't just about the food.
Another thing I sort of knew in my head, but didn't truly KNOW until I was there was how BIG the US is. I mean, it's humongous. It is huge and flat and its highways go on FOREVER. You'd know if you read my last entry that we spent a significant amount of time on the road while we were in the States, and we had hours and hours of either desertscape, or farmscape or rolling hills to drive through. And the LA freeways are scary! On googlemaps, I didn't really understand what the dark orange roads crisscrossing LA meant, until we were there and despite having a gps, managed to miss our exits at least a couple of times. The thing is, they have the space to build freeways and interstates to everywhere and huge parking structures, and wide roads with a lane for every direction you're going, even in residential areas. They can buy as many cars as they want and drive them all because they have the roads to absorb all the traffic. Our tiny tropical island capital, hedged on two sides by a sea and a bay, we are overflowing with people and vehicles, there is literally no place to go. The US is still a whole lot of open land, that huge mansions, hundreds of golf courses, giant hotels and casinos really make sense. Because there is space for anything and everything they would want to build.
Little things I noticed also explained some reality shows I didn't used to understand. Like makeover shows. I remember when the Queer Eye guys came here and one of them said they were so impressed that Filipinos have such a great sense of personal style. I'm like huh? Bola. And then when I went to the States, wow. I mean, most people get dressed to go out naman. But there really are people who go out to the malls in clothes they look like they woke up in. No one would do that here. We may not all be well dressed, but we know the difference between pambahay and panlabas. To think that the shopping, oh their shopping! Mike introduced me to the concept of outlet stores, which seems to me are giant permanent sale malls. We went to three, I gave up on all of them. I don't know how to shop in outlet malls because I don't know how to shop name brands, and I don't know how to efficiently spend the least amount of time necessary in a store to make the most of it. But the fact that you can get incredible deals anytime for ANYTHING. I finally understood why there are hoarders and how they could actually have a show all about them. Shopping can be a real sickness, with easy credit and amazingly cheap deals. I think if I lived in the States, I would need an entire day to shop through a whole outlet store. But I'd get shopped out (super tired and cranky) after 2-3 hours, I would never be able to finish a whole outlet store ever. I don't know if I will ever learn how to efficiently shop at an outlet store.
The most unique thing about or trip to the States was all the people we had/got to visit. All our previous trips were virtual honeymoons, always just the two of us, sometimes Mike doesn't even tell his friends in the area that he will be there. We are always on our own, and can determine our whole itinerary between the two of us. In the States, we had friends and family all over the place, our plans had to have large blanks in accommodate meet ups and going outs, meals that can be shared with people, etcetera. And everyone we visited wished we could have stayed longer. It really made us feel special and welcome, and taken cared of. I mean, we visited so many cities and the only place we had to book a hotel at was Las Vegas, which we didn't even have to since Mike has distant relatives who live there pala. Tapos, kami na nga yung visitors, kami pa yung nililibre sa mga restaurant at binibigyan ng pasalubong, instead of the other way around. I was amazed that we never ran out of people to meet with and visit, and in fact, we weren't able to see everyone we wanted to see. Like Carlo, and Jesse, and probably a bunch of other friends who live in the area, but were too busy to drop us a line in FB to say "You're here? Let's meet up!"
I think, however, the most significant realization I had while in the States is that I finally got it. I saw why people would choose to leave the Philippines, work their asses off and make their new homes there. To be honest, before I couldn't get it. I mean, I get if you will earn more there than you ever can here, and so you leave to give your family a better life. Or if your dream job is there and there's no way to achieve your goals here. But to dream of living in the US instead of here. I mean, me, I can't imagine life far from my parents, grandparents, my siblings and cousins. I LOVE my tropical weather, yes, give me the sweltering summers and crazy typhoons over snow any day. I want to be able to rely on my sun rising at sixish and setting at sixish. A bright 7pm is unthinkable for me. And don't even get me started with doing my own chores. I mean, I am capable of doing them. But why would I choose to? Nothing beats waking up and breakfast is at the table warm and waiting. For me, life in the Philippines is comfortable and beautiful and life in the States seemed difficult and lonely. But now that I've been there, I see how a person who craves order, and, well, cleanliness and fresh air, would never want to go back to Manila. Or someone who wants all the finer things in life, or wants to make a name for himself in a big international way, the US is so full of infinite possibilities, literally infinite horizons that can lead to great things, and they're willing to work their knuckles to the bone to reach their dreams. I now understand, and see the allure. I still like it better here, of course. But at least now I get it. And won't fight anyone who chooses the US (or any first world country for that matter) of the Philippines. It's just a matter of preference. And we all are given different paths in life.
I very much enjoyed going to the States. In most countries I've been to, it's like a list of places I can tick off one by one. Ok, I've been to Paris, no need to go back there. Indonesia, check, Taiwan, check, Poland, check, and so on. But the US is a place I would need to go back to, over and over again. One, because we've only seen a tiny fraction of the gigantic country. I've always dreamed of seeing New York, Boston, Washington DC, Florida, and so many other places there. And second, because we would love to spend more time with more people we love who live there. And third (but actually this applies to nearly all foreign countries I've been to) I'd love to share my travel experiences with my kids, when they are older, so that they can have a big wide world views, open minds, and passports full of stamps. I can't wait.
You see I am a TV junkie. I watch TV all the time. Especially in the past few years, when I'm pregnant and unemployed, or breastfeeding nonstop, there were days when I was never out of my pajamas. I was just in bed, with a baby stuck to my boob and the TV kept me company because, really, there's nothing else you can do while an infant sucked your brains out through your chest (until I discovered Farmville, but that's another story). And until now, I'm so far away and beyond pregnancy and nursing, I still have my TV-all-day days. It's shameful. The thing is, aside from downloads, I always only watch US TV. I have almost zero knowledge of local TV while I devour American murder mysteries and crime dramas (Law and Order marathons, CSI, Criminal Minds, NCIS), talk shows (Oprah, Ellen, Martha, Leno, Letterman, etc), and home decorating shows on Lifestyle (they don't air my favorites anymore so I don't get to watch as much). Add to that all the sitcoms, showbiz gossip shows, reality shows, I am immersed in American culture for many hours a day.
So you can imagine through daily TV shows, movies, the internet, magazines, even literature, all the media available to me has led me to believe that even though I've never been to the States, I know all about the US. I guess it surprised me (but it shouldn't have) that when I went there, a lot of my impressions were kind of silly. Like, just as an example, their crime dramas, Criminal Minds in particular, led me to think there were serial killers lurking in every corner in the States. I mean, they caught at least one crazy every week, and they're from all over the country! In the States I learned that Americans are some of the nicest people on the planet. They like greeting you, and talking to you, and they just do their best to be helpful, like on a bus in San Francisco, Mike and Ino and I were discussing how to get to the House of Prime Rib, when a complete stranger interjects and says "Did you say the House of Prime Rib? That place is awesome! They actually serve seconds!" That has never happened to me before, in any country, ever. I feel like I could never butt into a stranger's overheard conversation, cause it would be rude of me. But for them it isn't rude. They're just being helpful.
I was most impressed by their service industry. Now that I've seen how their waiters and waitresses go all out on you, I understand why tipping is such a big deal that Oprah had a whole segment of her show just discussing it. And why there are stories of waiters who would run after customers to the parking lot asking why they had undertipped. In the Philippines, we don't expect waiters to do much more than take our orders and then bring them over. And please be attentive enough to refill our glasses. The experience wasn't noticeably different for me in any of the other countries I've visited. American waiters and waitresses, in good restaurants, their entire service crew seems personally invested in your having a great dining experience. They ask how your day was, where you're from, what's good, what did the chef just catch, it's super fresh and not even in the menu, you should try it... Is everything ok, is there any other way I can help you, etc etc etc. It's like eating at someone's house and that someone cares about you that you're having a good time. So now I knew why you really should tip 12-15% of your bill, and that they really deserve it, because they work truly hard for that tip. AND I now also understand why bad restaurant service makes Mike angry. Dining out isn't just about the food.
Another thing I sort of knew in my head, but didn't truly KNOW until I was there was how BIG the US is. I mean, it's humongous. It is huge and flat and its highways go on FOREVER. You'd know if you read my last entry that we spent a significant amount of time on the road while we were in the States, and we had hours and hours of either desertscape, or farmscape or rolling hills to drive through. And the LA freeways are scary! On googlemaps, I didn't really understand what the dark orange roads crisscrossing LA meant, until we were there and despite having a gps, managed to miss our exits at least a couple of times. The thing is, they have the space to build freeways and interstates to everywhere and huge parking structures, and wide roads with a lane for every direction you're going, even in residential areas. They can buy as many cars as they want and drive them all because they have the roads to absorb all the traffic. Our tiny tropical island capital, hedged on two sides by a sea and a bay, we are overflowing with people and vehicles, there is literally no place to go. The US is still a whole lot of open land, that huge mansions, hundreds of golf courses, giant hotels and casinos really make sense. Because there is space for anything and everything they would want to build.
Little things I noticed also explained some reality shows I didn't used to understand. Like makeover shows. I remember when the Queer Eye guys came here and one of them said they were so impressed that Filipinos have such a great sense of personal style. I'm like huh? Bola. And then when I went to the States, wow. I mean, most people get dressed to go out naman. But there really are people who go out to the malls in clothes they look like they woke up in. No one would do that here. We may not all be well dressed, but we know the difference between pambahay and panlabas. To think that the shopping, oh their shopping! Mike introduced me to the concept of outlet stores, which seems to me are giant permanent sale malls. We went to three, I gave up on all of them. I don't know how to shop in outlet malls because I don't know how to shop name brands, and I don't know how to efficiently spend the least amount of time necessary in a store to make the most of it. But the fact that you can get incredible deals anytime for ANYTHING. I finally understood why there are hoarders and how they could actually have a show all about them. Shopping can be a real sickness, with easy credit and amazingly cheap deals. I think if I lived in the States, I would need an entire day to shop through a whole outlet store. But I'd get shopped out (super tired and cranky) after 2-3 hours, I would never be able to finish a whole outlet store ever. I don't know if I will ever learn how to efficiently shop at an outlet store.
The most unique thing about or trip to the States was all the people we had/got to visit. All our previous trips were virtual honeymoons, always just the two of us, sometimes Mike doesn't even tell his friends in the area that he will be there. We are always on our own, and can determine our whole itinerary between the two of us. In the States, we had friends and family all over the place, our plans had to have large blanks in accommodate meet ups and going outs, meals that can be shared with people, etcetera. And everyone we visited wished we could have stayed longer. It really made us feel special and welcome, and taken cared of. I mean, we visited so many cities and the only place we had to book a hotel at was Las Vegas, which we didn't even have to since Mike has distant relatives who live there pala. Tapos, kami na nga yung visitors, kami pa yung nililibre sa mga restaurant at binibigyan ng pasalubong, instead of the other way around. I was amazed that we never ran out of people to meet with and visit, and in fact, we weren't able to see everyone we wanted to see. Like Carlo, and Jesse, and probably a bunch of other friends who live in the area, but were too busy to drop us a line in FB to say "You're here? Let's meet up!"
I think, however, the most significant realization I had while in the States is that I finally got it. I saw why people would choose to leave the Philippines, work their asses off and make their new homes there. To be honest, before I couldn't get it. I mean, I get if you will earn more there than you ever can here, and so you leave to give your family a better life. Or if your dream job is there and there's no way to achieve your goals here. But to dream of living in the US instead of here. I mean, me, I can't imagine life far from my parents, grandparents, my siblings and cousins. I LOVE my tropical weather, yes, give me the sweltering summers and crazy typhoons over snow any day. I want to be able to rely on my sun rising at sixish and setting at sixish. A bright 7pm is unthinkable for me. And don't even get me started with doing my own chores. I mean, I am capable of doing them. But why would I choose to? Nothing beats waking up and breakfast is at the table warm and waiting. For me, life in the Philippines is comfortable and beautiful and life in the States seemed difficult and lonely. But now that I've been there, I see how a person who craves order, and, well, cleanliness and fresh air, would never want to go back to Manila. Or someone who wants all the finer things in life, or wants to make a name for himself in a big international way, the US is so full of infinite possibilities, literally infinite horizons that can lead to great things, and they're willing to work their knuckles to the bone to reach their dreams. I now understand, and see the allure. I still like it better here, of course. But at least now I get it. And won't fight anyone who chooses the US (or any first world country for that matter) of the Philippines. It's just a matter of preference. And we all are given different paths in life.
I very much enjoyed going to the States. In most countries I've been to, it's like a list of places I can tick off one by one. Ok, I've been to Paris, no need to go back there. Indonesia, check, Taiwan, check, Poland, check, and so on. But the US is a place I would need to go back to, over and over again. One, because we've only seen a tiny fraction of the gigantic country. I've always dreamed of seeing New York, Boston, Washington DC, Florida, and so many other places there. And second, because we would love to spend more time with more people we love who live there. And third (but actually this applies to nearly all foreign countries I've been to) I'd love to share my travel experiences with my kids, when they are older, so that they can have a big wide world views, open minds, and passports full of stamps. I can't wait.