Month 6
Dear Ramon,
Happy Half Birthday! Wow! 6 months old today. We are halfway to a year. Has it really been this long? Or has it only been 6 months? Time tends to slush around incoherently to me since it's also been 6 months since I've had a full night's sleep. In fact, I should be sleeping right now, I had just put you to bed. I'm literally yawning as I type this, and I was already halfway to dreamland beside you just 2 minutes ago. But as I was falling asleep, this letter began writing itself in my brain and I knew I just had to drag myself out of bed and post it. It is your half birthday after all. Can't let it pass without the letter. Or else what would you think of Mommy's self discipline?
Speaking of sleep, this is the first time this week I was able to put you to sleep before 10pm and without the crazy drama. To tell you the truth, the past several days have had me calling you Mr. Cranky McCrankypants! It used to be easy. To lie in bed with you and nurse you until you pass out. This week you've been all suck-cry-suck-suck-wail-suck-bawl-suck-suck-suck-cry-cry-cry! This sort of behavior used to mean you needed to burp. But now if I try to burp you in the middle of this routine, you would elevate the crying to the level of SCREAM. It boggles the mind. I have narrowed down the reasons to either one or a combination of these: 1. You are hungry AND sleepy at the same time and since you're getting older and more aware of these things, you couldn't decide whether to eat or complain. or 2. You are teething and you nurse to feel better, but it doesn't work so you cry and then try again to soothe your gums, but it won't work, so cry again, and so on. Or both. Or neither. Either way, all I could do was slog it through with you, endure your complaints, shift positions a lot, and wait till you finally tired yourself out enough to relax and just sleep. Ah bedtime madness. I will not miss this when you're older.
In fairness to you, you are only ever Mr. Cranky McCrankypants during bedtime. And right after your morning bath. For some reason you don't like being dressed after morning bath, you never have, not since the invention of the bath. Which is strange since you don't seem to mind dressing after evening bath. Anyway, you're only ever cranky at home, with me or your yaya. When we're out, at parties, or visiting family, or even shopping, you're at your very best behavior. You don't even like shopping. Not like your sisters did even when they were your age. You seem restless when you're being wheeled around malls and such. But boy do you like the sales ladies. And they adore you! Everyone you meet falls in love with your easy smile. When we went for your picture taking at Blow Up Babies, you gave them more smiles in the first five minutes than your sisters did in the hours combined to take their pictures. You are really truly, a lovely little boy.
And strong too! You kick really hard! And constantly. Non stop kicking. You can sit now, on your own for at least a few seconds, propped up with your hands. You're going to be ready for the Excersaucer before this next month is up. And you've gotten better at using your hands. You can now grab things. Purposefully, not randomly like before. And then put the thing straight into your mouth. In fact your current favorite toy is an orange plastic ring, which isn't even really a toy, but a connector thing used to hang toys above you in bed. You love it because it's easy to hold, and it's fun to chew. This is why I think you're teething. Cause when you're being Mr. Cranky McCrankypants, and I give you that little ring to chew, you quiet down and bite to your heart's content. I was so hoping I'd have a couple more months of you toothless but I guess I shouldn't count on it.
Mommy had some breastfeeding issues this month. For a while it was extremely painful. I got so worried that I went to see a doctor. While this was happening, two weeks ago, I almost ran out of frozen milk for you. I was down to two bags, and had a wedding to attend. I was disappointed in myself, because I wanted to have you exclusively on breastmilk at least until you turned 6 months. And there I was, two weeks short of my goal, I bought a small can of formula just in case you ran out of milk while Mommy was at Tita Cey's wedding. Thankfully I got home in time to feed you before your Yaya had to pop open the can. So after that I redoubled my pumping efforts (because I had another wedding to attend, I had to stock up!) and brought you with me whenever I could just so that we could reach this day and you'd be exclusively breastfed. And we did it! Today you start eating cerelac every morning, and Mommy won't feel so guilty about you having formula when she needs to go out. At least, I will TRY not to feel guilty. You're probably thinking, why would Mommy feel guilty about giving you formula? Well, that's motherhood, baby. Mommies feel guilty no matter what they do. We always do our best but we never think it's enough.
Oh Ramon. Even if you are nightly Mr. Cranky McCrankypants, know that when you do fall asleep, and I look at your peaceful sleeping form, I immediately forget all the frustration, backaches and horrible painful biting and my heart just fills up with warm fuzzyness that is crazy deep mad love for you. You are extraordinary. Just being you. And I cannot wait to meet the man you will become.
Love, Mommy
Happy Half Birthday! Wow! 6 months old today. We are halfway to a year. Has it really been this long? Or has it only been 6 months? Time tends to slush around incoherently to me since it's also been 6 months since I've had a full night's sleep. In fact, I should be sleeping right now, I had just put you to bed. I'm literally yawning as I type this, and I was already halfway to dreamland beside you just 2 minutes ago. But as I was falling asleep, this letter began writing itself in my brain and I knew I just had to drag myself out of bed and post it. It is your half birthday after all. Can't let it pass without the letter. Or else what would you think of Mommy's self discipline?
Speaking of sleep, this is the first time this week I was able to put you to sleep before 10pm and without the crazy drama. To tell you the truth, the past several days have had me calling you Mr. Cranky McCrankypants! It used to be easy. To lie in bed with you and nurse you until you pass out. This week you've been all suck-cry-suck-suck-wail-suck-bawl-suck-suck-suck-cry-cry-cry! This sort of behavior used to mean you needed to burp. But now if I try to burp you in the middle of this routine, you would elevate the crying to the level of SCREAM. It boggles the mind. I have narrowed down the reasons to either one or a combination of these: 1. You are hungry AND sleepy at the same time and since you're getting older and more aware of these things, you couldn't decide whether to eat or complain. or 2. You are teething and you nurse to feel better, but it doesn't work so you cry and then try again to soothe your gums, but it won't work, so cry again, and so on. Or both. Or neither. Either way, all I could do was slog it through with you, endure your complaints, shift positions a lot, and wait till you finally tired yourself out enough to relax and just sleep. Ah bedtime madness. I will not miss this when you're older.
In fairness to you, you are only ever Mr. Cranky McCrankypants during bedtime. And right after your morning bath. For some reason you don't like being dressed after morning bath, you never have, not since the invention of the bath. Which is strange since you don't seem to mind dressing after evening bath. Anyway, you're only ever cranky at home, with me or your yaya. When we're out, at parties, or visiting family, or even shopping, you're at your very best behavior. You don't even like shopping. Not like your sisters did even when they were your age. You seem restless when you're being wheeled around malls and such. But boy do you like the sales ladies. And they adore you! Everyone you meet falls in love with your easy smile. When we went for your picture taking at Blow Up Babies, you gave them more smiles in the first five minutes than your sisters did in the hours combined to take their pictures. You are really truly, a lovely little boy.
And strong too! You kick really hard! And constantly. Non stop kicking. You can sit now, on your own for at least a few seconds, propped up with your hands. You're going to be ready for the Excersaucer before this next month is up. And you've gotten better at using your hands. You can now grab things. Purposefully, not randomly like before. And then put the thing straight into your mouth. In fact your current favorite toy is an orange plastic ring, which isn't even really a toy, but a connector thing used to hang toys above you in bed. You love it because it's easy to hold, and it's fun to chew. This is why I think you're teething. Cause when you're being Mr. Cranky McCrankypants, and I give you that little ring to chew, you quiet down and bite to your heart's content. I was so hoping I'd have a couple more months of you toothless but I guess I shouldn't count on it.
Mommy had some breastfeeding issues this month. For a while it was extremely painful. I got so worried that I went to see a doctor. While this was happening, two weeks ago, I almost ran out of frozen milk for you. I was down to two bags, and had a wedding to attend. I was disappointed in myself, because I wanted to have you exclusively on breastmilk at least until you turned 6 months. And there I was, two weeks short of my goal, I bought a small can of formula just in case you ran out of milk while Mommy was at Tita Cey's wedding. Thankfully I got home in time to feed you before your Yaya had to pop open the can. So after that I redoubled my pumping efforts (because I had another wedding to attend, I had to stock up!) and brought you with me whenever I could just so that we could reach this day and you'd be exclusively breastfed. And we did it! Today you start eating cerelac every morning, and Mommy won't feel so guilty about you having formula when she needs to go out. At least, I will TRY not to feel guilty. You're probably thinking, why would Mommy feel guilty about giving you formula? Well, that's motherhood, baby. Mommies feel guilty no matter what they do. We always do our best but we never think it's enough.
Oh Ramon. Even if you are nightly Mr. Cranky McCrankypants, know that when you do fall asleep, and I look at your peaceful sleeping form, I immediately forget all the frustration, backaches and horrible painful biting and my heart just fills up with warm fuzzyness that is crazy deep mad love for you. You are extraordinary. Just being you. And I cannot wait to meet the man you will become.
Love, Mommy