Life Happens
This is by no means a piece of writing worth being recognized or praised. But this is personally one of my most cherished "notes"; It's quite personal and brings me back to a rough time in my life; admitting a basically "forced" break-up was the best choice in my life, not in the now, but in the long run. Even now if I ever doubt my actions from the past, I read this, convincing myself otherwise that, Yes I did make the right decision. It it confuses, I apologize. This was merely written for personal purposes, to literally convince myself to make a life-changing decision. And, reading To You. by hazellicious I felt this might be of some sort of assistance. I must admit, I do not know her personally, am I but acquainted with her via her fanfics. But transcending this fan world we are connected by, I felt we are also touched by one more common thread: losing a friend. Who knows, this might not be of any relation to her, she might even be totally offended by me thinking we had such a commonality; but I just feel like sharing because I went through the same thing.
Note: Written on Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 1:24pm; and just fyi, I am Christina. Um, we were in high school. Me a senior, him a junior; I was graduating, leaving him behind. We knew each other since middle school, have been good friends since, well my graduation. Our relationship was never meant to be; there was just too many things going against it. Fate, I guess, or someone of higher status just didn't want us to be together. (If you need details, I'd be fine with explaining)
Dear Christina,
I know this is hard for you, to let go of someone. Someone you once loved dearly. Someone you still love. But it must be done. Despite how many sleepless nights, despite all the tears, the anger, the hate, the frustration, the heartache, You Need to Forget. You Need to Let Go. You need to lose a friend.
You often say that it would be much better if you Never would have said Yes to him. If you Never took it further to the next level, None of this would have happened. You say that If you would have said No, you still would have had just as many good times being good friends than if you had said Yes. If you would have said No, you would still be friends. You say sometimes you wish you never dated. If it would have Saved The Friendship, you would go back and say No to him for the third time. In a Hearbeat.
But you can't. So you have to deal with it. You may call the relationship a "mistake", but it wasn't. You said Yes for a reason. He asked you three times for a reason. You were once in love. And so was he.
So what happened? Life Happened. And there's not a damn thing you or anyone can do about it.
But we can still be friends, right? He always told you, Way Before you even dated that you guys would be friends. That he would Always be Here for You.
Bullshit.
Face it. You've tried. You put in everything to make a friendship work. But you can't make a friendship work all by yourself. You need the other party. You need effort and cooperation and willingness from Both parties. And ever since the breakup, its only been given by you. Why would you continue feeding time, energy and effort into something that will never happen? Why are you doing this to yourself, Christina? He's Lying, It's Obvious. If he wanted to be your friend he would have made a little more damn effort to still be friends. You can't call whatever this is between you two "friendship." You can't call someone who never talks to you Ever, never sees you, ignores your emails, and removes you from his life completely a friend.
So what do you do, you ask?
You let go. You need to lose a friend.
What about all the good times you had? Must you forget them? No. Don't forget. Never Forget all the good times.
Forget him.Not the Love.
Forget the person.Not the memories.
I know this is hard for you. To let go of someone. Someone you once loved dearly. But you can do it. I would have liked for things to turn out differently. But In Time, You will forget. And Life Will go on.
Take Care of Yourself
Love,
Christina