my moment of epiphany: i don't care if you will still love me tomorrow

Nov 22, 2017 02:45


hello, i'm back in hong kong now. arrived home at 2am (exactly 24 hours ago); flew back a day (or more) earlier than planned because of a talk i somehow signed myself up for. on the cab home as we rounded the tsing ma bridge in the wee hours, the shiny container ship lights winking at me in the harbour down below, it felt good to be back. there's after all still something about hong kong that continues to captivate me, that tugs at my heart even now; might it be, could it be ... love?

hong kong, like a lover i left in a "we need a break from each other" huff, and returning now seeing each other for the first time in two months, still finding joy, warmth, comfort, relief at falling back into his/her/its embrace. i think i know that feeling. it feels like ... that starchy crinkle of his shirt against your ear, that little clink as plastic button meets metal ear stud, that emanating warmth, so slight, that subtle muted scent, so reassuring ... it's like, it's like...coming home to your person. you know you can do without him, you know you could even do with someone new, no binding contract holding you together, no strings attached but for a month's notice and a promise you'd be back (to pack, if necessary). and yet you return, because at that moment of embrace, in this moment of passion, it feels good, it feels right, it feels like you belong -- for now -- even if you do part ways the morning after, even if you know you'd never grow old together. this, surely this, is modern love.
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