i am my own person
surprisingly, almost all my stuff got delivered today, except the fridge and washer (cos i bought them only today); they'll be delivered tomorrow. i renew my visa on friday, cable/internet guy comes on saturday. i think about the ridiculousness of having to walk across the road with my pillows, and i feel, well, ridiculous. lots to do, really...which is the only reason i'm here blogging and wasting precious time procrastinating right now.
i tried to set up my tv myself today, on top of some other appliances. screwing and all went well, but then i couldn't get the tv to find any of the free channels...do i need some special cable/cord to do that? can't just plug in? feel quite a dunce at this. but then apparently i'm not the only one in hk who's got trouble getting free channels on tv, for some reason. though i hope it's just cos i'm missing connecting some essential cord.
i feel like i should know how to use a drill, but i don't have one and wouldn't dare to use it either. so there'll be a couple of mirrors, clocks and a picture waiting to be hung up. wish i were more gutsy and hence more independent. there are people who would be happy to drop by and help for free with that if i asked, but i really don't wanna hafta get help that way, especially from a guy.
call me crazy, but i think i would disdain myself for that if i did resort to it. or maybe it's just me stubbornly trying to prove to myself that i'm different from someone else. i can do it all myself, i really can. and if i can't, i'll pay for a handyman. i will be beholden to no one, i'll be indebted to none, i won't owe anyone; i refuse to let myself need anyone, can't do without anyone. i am my own person; not gonna let no one control me, hurt me, let me down. nope.
yeah, obviously i need some sleep. nights. may i be highly productive and less obsessive compulsive tomorrow.