(no subject)
I...
Sending it back today. Hope Ann-chan doesn't mind the staining too badly, I did the best I could. Blood and grass don't tend to come out very well when they've set... I should have listened to my mother about these things.
I've been skipping classes though I doubt anyone cares... Didn't feel like facing anyone, and having all of their eyes on me, accusing me...Maybe I'll get sent home. Life was so much easier, back in Japan. Though I'm not sure I can blame my current troubles on the country... but, it makes a good scapegoat. At least Kabaji doesn't question anything, like the reason I threw a perfectly good IPod out of the window.
I screwed up so terribly, I want nothing more than to take that day back. I could see the accusation in both of their eyes, and the pain from Kirihara was just... unbearable. How am I supposed to deal with all of this? Usually I don't run from my problems, but I was also never so completely in the wrong. Sure, I can go to war to defend others, but this..?
At first, the rhythm just accused me... its songs were reminders, and pain, nails on a chalkboard. And now, there is nothing. Is this what everyone else feels, when they listen to the music? Just... sound? No feeling, no liquid comfort, no heart-pumping thrill, just sound? I'm as good as deaf.
Tachibana would probably like nothing more than to throttle me, and Shinji probably has heard by now and feels the same way. And Kirihara... I could never hope to regain the trust I have so thoroughly betrayed. Now, the rhythm... my one ever-present solace... has left me. I can't blame it, I don't want to be around me, either.
I am... lost.
-Akira
Sending it back today. Hope Ann-chan doesn't mind the staining too badly, I did the best I could. Blood and grass don't tend to come out very well when they've set... I should have listened to my mother about these things.
I've been skipping classes though I doubt anyone cares... Didn't feel like facing anyone, and having all of their eyes on me, accusing me...Maybe I'll get sent home. Life was so much easier, back in Japan. Though I'm not sure I can blame my current troubles on the country... but, it makes a good scapegoat. At least Kabaji doesn't question anything, like the reason I threw a perfectly good IPod out of the window.
I screwed up so terribly, I want nothing more than to take that day back. I could see the accusation in both of their eyes, and the pain from Kirihara was just... unbearable. How am I supposed to deal with all of this? Usually I don't run from my problems, but I was also never so completely in the wrong. Sure, I can go to war to defend others, but this..?
At first, the rhythm just accused me... its songs were reminders, and pain, nails on a chalkboard. And now, there is nothing. Is this what everyone else feels, when they listen to the music? Just... sound? No feeling, no liquid comfort, no heart-pumping thrill, just sound? I'm as good as deaf.
Tachibana would probably like nothing more than to throttle me, and Shinji probably has heard by now and feels the same way. And Kirihara... I could never hope to regain the trust I have so thoroughly betrayed. Now, the rhythm... my one ever-present solace... has left me. I can't blame it, I don't want to be around me, either.
I am... lost.
-Akira