hello world
so today was a very forward-moving day.
so first off RAY GOT ROAD TRIP MOTHER FUCKING NATION - he's going to NEW ZEALAND, all expenses paid. thas my word!!
so we were talking about that and it led to how i saw one of his best friends on campus and she was really cold to me when i asked if she had heard the news. hannah is a spop coord, a person who is involved with choosing the staff, including returners.. which includes me!. so yeah. i found out my status for returner. everyone is decided except it's down to me and one other staffer. the other person has a completely different personality than me, and it's really just who fits the dynamic of the group better. so hannah was asking ray about my personality and stuff.
at first obviously i was upset. i tried not to be but i mean selfish pride hello.. obviously you'd want to get something you applied for, wanna be good enough. and it's hard to imagine that it's not that you're not good enough, that spop isn't like that. how many times have i told others that it's such a toss up to get staff. it could be you or easily the next person, almost everyone that applies is qualified, just for so much as wanting to put your heart into something like that. did i just go in circles? anyways point is i was upset.
as we talked about it more, i began to look at it in a different light, and he was convinced that he didn't want me to get it. if i don't get it, i'll be faced with an even tougher situation that will test me.. so many more choices for summer. i really have an endless list of things to get involved in, with so many locations to choose from. home, abroad, here, across the U.S. how sick would it be to be somewhere else in the U.S., that is something that i definitely have never thought about. by home i mean the bay area, not HOME, and it probably wouldn't be that cool to stay here.. but it depends on what i'm doing. so the summer is my oyster. start looking around is something i need to start doing. i really could do so much i just have to DO IT.
so besides that i guess can be summed up here..
the corcore: how was your monday and tuesday?
mishelly1987: hmm let's think
mishelly1987: monday was nice i went to class then ran into a friend and spent a little time reading the university newspaper in the park
mishelly1987: today was nice i went to class too and actually had lunch by myself and read the newspaper more on campus
mishelly1987: (these are big feats cause i never: 1) go to class, 2) hang out on campus, 3) hang out outside, 4) hang out alone
mishelly1987: : )
the corcore: yeah, hanging out alone sucks
the corcore: i never feel like im hanging out, more like im waiting
mishelly1987: hahaha
mishelly1987: i know!
mishelly1987: i want to get over that feeling
mishelly1987: something to strive for even
mishelly1987: that was a very good way to look at it
mishelly1987: i wanna embrace that vulnerability
mishelly1987: rather than let it take over me
doot doot.
so first off RAY GOT ROAD TRIP MOTHER FUCKING NATION - he's going to NEW ZEALAND, all expenses paid. thas my word!!
so we were talking about that and it led to how i saw one of his best friends on campus and she was really cold to me when i asked if she had heard the news. hannah is a spop coord, a person who is involved with choosing the staff, including returners.. which includes me!. so yeah. i found out my status for returner. everyone is decided except it's down to me and one other staffer. the other person has a completely different personality than me, and it's really just who fits the dynamic of the group better. so hannah was asking ray about my personality and stuff.
at first obviously i was upset. i tried not to be but i mean selfish pride hello.. obviously you'd want to get something you applied for, wanna be good enough. and it's hard to imagine that it's not that you're not good enough, that spop isn't like that. how many times have i told others that it's such a toss up to get staff. it could be you or easily the next person, almost everyone that applies is qualified, just for so much as wanting to put your heart into something like that. did i just go in circles? anyways point is i was upset.
as we talked about it more, i began to look at it in a different light, and he was convinced that he didn't want me to get it. if i don't get it, i'll be faced with an even tougher situation that will test me.. so many more choices for summer. i really have an endless list of things to get involved in, with so many locations to choose from. home, abroad, here, across the U.S. how sick would it be to be somewhere else in the U.S., that is something that i definitely have never thought about. by home i mean the bay area, not HOME, and it probably wouldn't be that cool to stay here.. but it depends on what i'm doing. so the summer is my oyster. start looking around is something i need to start doing. i really could do so much i just have to DO IT.
so besides that i guess can be summed up here..
the corcore: how was your monday and tuesday?
mishelly1987: hmm let's think
mishelly1987: monday was nice i went to class then ran into a friend and spent a little time reading the university newspaper in the park
mishelly1987: today was nice i went to class too and actually had lunch by myself and read the newspaper more on campus
mishelly1987: (these are big feats cause i never: 1) go to class, 2) hang out on campus, 3) hang out outside, 4) hang out alone
mishelly1987: : )
the corcore: yeah, hanging out alone sucks
the corcore: i never feel like im hanging out, more like im waiting
mishelly1987: hahaha
mishelly1987: i know!
mishelly1987: i want to get over that feeling
mishelly1987: something to strive for even
mishelly1987: that was a very good way to look at it
mishelly1987: i wanna embrace that vulnerability
mishelly1987: rather than let it take over me
doot doot.