Can I Walk With You?
Well I'm holding true to my word of keeping this diary. I read through some old entries and I've realised how much I have changed within the span of the last two years. I just cannot believe how much I have changed!! My outlook on life used to be so morose and depressive, and I'm a completely different person now!
To be fair, things in my life have changed and started getting so much better so I guess that's the difference? I moved to Melbourne in June of last year (almost going on a year!) and started my Masters and a new job. Granted it has been a massive uphill battle with Uni to stay on track but I have loved every second (almost) of my life here. The first few months were intensely difficult because I was living alone (literally, no room mate, nothing) and didn't know many people here. I made a fantastic friend at work, A, who I am still extremely close with, and she has also changed me for the better. I laugh about absolutely everything with her - even things that start off as hard and sad and depressing, we end up cracking a joke about. I haven't had such a connection with someone so instantly in AGES and I absolutely adore her. We are so alike yet so different, I can't even explain how much I have appreciated her friendship because I'm almost 100% sure that had I not met her, I'd have gone back home with my tail between my legs.
I never really thought I was super judgmental but I was very set in my ways and did not have time for people who didn't see things my way. I I feel like I've opened up a whole lot more and have become much more easy going and easier to talk to. I find my friendship with S has improved a lot (possibly it's the distance - but who knows?) and I've never ever felt closer to her. There are still things that bother me but I find talking to A about them gives me an outsider's perspective and calms me down a bit. M and I have drifted a fairly large distance but she has a new baby and a fiance so that's understandable. We do still talk every now and then and it still feels great when I do talk to her. I'll always have a place for her in my life and in my heart no matter how far we drift.
I also lost a tonne of weight, and am feeling FANTASTIC about myself. I've never liked myself as much as I like myself now, and I'm almost content with myself (I'll never truly be happy). Apart from the fact that I'm really behind at Uni (what else is new) there is just nothing I dislike about myself. It is such a liberating feeling, to be able to look into the mirror and say "eh.. you're not bad!". I know that doesn't sound like much, but to go from " IFUCKINGHATEYOU" to that - is a huge massive leap for me. It's stupid that my self worth is tied into my weight, but I'm a girl and that's how I function.
I also met someone pretty special. Things are still VERY new but I really enjoy spending time with him and we get along so well. I'm not going to define anything right now but I feel like it COULD be something. I don't know what that something is, but something nonetheless. Feels good to have someone thinking about me for a change :)
I'm moving into a new apartment in just under a month with a flatmate, which is going to be AWESOME. I'm really excited about finally having someone to come home to, which was one of the main issues I had with first moving here. I'd come home from Uni/Work and would not have any real human contact until the next time I went to Uni/Work. She is really cool so I'm really hoping this works out. We have decided to rent a really cute townhouse with one of the nicest kitchens i've ever seen! I can't wait to get out of my shoebox of an apartment.
The grammar and punctuation in this entry has gone downhill :(
Well I had better get to this essay that's waiting for me. Feels great to be back!
To be fair, things in my life have changed and started getting so much better so I guess that's the difference? I moved to Melbourne in June of last year (almost going on a year!) and started my Masters and a new job. Granted it has been a massive uphill battle with Uni to stay on track but I have loved every second (almost) of my life here. The first few months were intensely difficult because I was living alone (literally, no room mate, nothing) and didn't know many people here. I made a fantastic friend at work, A, who I am still extremely close with, and she has also changed me for the better. I laugh about absolutely everything with her - even things that start off as hard and sad and depressing, we end up cracking a joke about. I haven't had such a connection with someone so instantly in AGES and I absolutely adore her. We are so alike yet so different, I can't even explain how much I have appreciated her friendship because I'm almost 100% sure that had I not met her, I'd have gone back home with my tail between my legs.
I never really thought I was super judgmental but I was very set in my ways and did not have time for people who didn't see things my way. I I feel like I've opened up a whole lot more and have become much more easy going and easier to talk to. I find my friendship with S has improved a lot (possibly it's the distance - but who knows?) and I've never ever felt closer to her. There are still things that bother me but I find talking to A about them gives me an outsider's perspective and calms me down a bit. M and I have drifted a fairly large distance but she has a new baby and a fiance so that's understandable. We do still talk every now and then and it still feels great when I do talk to her. I'll always have a place for her in my life and in my heart no matter how far we drift.
I also lost a tonne of weight, and am feeling FANTASTIC about myself. I've never liked myself as much as I like myself now, and I'm almost content with myself (I'll never truly be happy). Apart from the fact that I'm really behind at Uni (what else is new) there is just nothing I dislike about myself. It is such a liberating feeling, to be able to look into the mirror and say "eh.. you're not bad!". I know that doesn't sound like much, but to go from " IFUCKINGHATEYOU" to that - is a huge massive leap for me. It's stupid that my self worth is tied into my weight, but I'm a girl and that's how I function.
I also met someone pretty special. Things are still VERY new but I really enjoy spending time with him and we get along so well. I'm not going to define anything right now but I feel like it COULD be something. I don't know what that something is, but something nonetheless. Feels good to have someone thinking about me for a change :)
I'm moving into a new apartment in just under a month with a flatmate, which is going to be AWESOME. I'm really excited about finally having someone to come home to, which was one of the main issues I had with first moving here. I'd come home from Uni/Work and would not have any real human contact until the next time I went to Uni/Work. She is really cool so I'm really hoping this works out. We have decided to rent a really cute townhouse with one of the nicest kitchens i've ever seen! I can't wait to get out of my shoebox of an apartment.
The grammar and punctuation in this entry has gone downhill :(
Well I had better get to this essay that's waiting for me. Feels great to be back!