This made me LOTI (laugh on the inside.)

[in_love_rooted]

"... the little side courtyard, with its statue of Jesus. He held his arms up delicately, hands out, as though he were about to catch a pass that you just knew he'd drop. I stood and gripped the bars...I know. The symbolism. It's not good. I'm on the outside, Jesus is on the inside. There's a fence between us. I wasn't so drunk I didn't recognize this. Nor was I so drunk that I didn't loathe the cheapness of it. If I was going to be obstructed, symbolically, why not a three-headed dog? Or a river of fire? Or something much more obtuse: algebra? (I'd never find Jesus if He lay on the other side of x.)"

--from Liam Callanan's novel All Saints