i have an ooshi husband
The question is not, “Did I make an impact?” Because the answer is always “Yes, yes I did.” In everything that we do and say, we make an impact. Whether positive or negative, big or small, everything we do either leads people closer to the cross or pushes them further away. I pray that we would each keep that in mind in all that we do and say, that God would give us wisdom and discernment, that we would not be deceived. - Dan Payne
hmmm...yup. i worked today and yesterday. tomorrow i get to sleep in until whenever i want. that makes me smile big smiles. then i have to pack and head off to wonderful beautiful michigan....and it is really only so beautiful and wonderful because of the people that live there...i luff them. the butch's are driving us to the airport, hopefully dan asked them about picking us up as well....for some reason he didn;t include that when he asked about driving us there. hmmm.. anyway. fine face lauren is staying at our house and holding down the fort and caring for all the nanimals.
the paynes left today for kentucky, pray for safe travel for them. it is a long long long drive. i am thankful for airplanes that all you have to do is walk in them, sit down and magically when you walk out you are in a completely different place. crazy huh? i am not very happy about airplane ticket prices though.....not so much.
the band is practicing downstairs and they are really loud. there is really nothing much for me to do when they are practicing but be on the computer. so this is where i am.
i talked to my dad on the phone today....and don't get me wrong, i love the man as much as someone can love someone else...but it left me a little stressed. i talked to my mom today and yesterday, and that left me really stressed. sometimes i feel like i am the adult, the parent, the sensible or rationale one...and then i realize...he/she doesn't know Jesus the way I know Jesus, and that makes the biggest difference in your life. it changes the way you see things, the way things affect you, the way that you react to things happening, everything....it changes everything. there is a peace that transcends all knowledge and understanding. a peace given to us by God....nothing else can offer the peace that He does. NOTHING.
So those that do not know Him are not at peace ....and they won't be until they recognize who He is. so they fill themselves with the things of this world, and they give explanations that the world has offered to them, and they feel entitled to certain things....i know this from experience. i was there once too, and it sucked. i am so thankful for Him in my life. it has changed everything.
[i remember the exact moment that i accepted Christ...the exact moment...i was filled with overwhelming emotions....it brought me to tears. and you would have thought that i was sitting in church hearing a sermon, or i was listening to Jesus music, or my friend was telling me how good and great Jesus is. but the reality is, it was nothing like that. i was driving in the car with Dan, I don't even remember what we were talking about. we were just driving...and it all of a sudden hit me...like right then wham bam the holy spirit flooded me...and i thought to myself, this changes everything. and it did.]
i don't worry about the silly things i used to...and i am able to love fully and deeply, without expectation of love back...just loving because it is the outflow of my heart...and overflow of His love for me. my insecurities fade away, my fears subside and i am left with just love. a perfect love. a love that is unflawed...and that stands in competition with nothing...because nothing else compares...it doesn't even come close. sometimes i get frustrated because i so want people to experience Christ...to just get a taste of the goodness of God...to be filled once and for all...to feel complete and to be secure in who you are as a person all because you know Him as your God... to no longer have the desire for approval from man....i wish that i could wrap up all of the things that God has taught me and done in my life...to have others experience my journey first hand....then they will understand....because I know that there are not enough words or pages for me to explain why, or how...God is bigger than that..so big that i can't even comprehend it sometimes. i want to take what i have been given and give it to others. but i realize that i would be cheating them out of something so beautiful..our walk with Christ is personal....the trials, the joys, they make us who we are. they grow and stretch us into who God is creating us to be. if i was able to hand you my experience...it would be just that....an experience for you. not the real thing. if we take away the journey we never reach the destination...each person's walk is individualized and tailored to that persons weakness' and strengths...thats how big God is...he touches each person, reaches them right where they are, and pushes them to be more and makes them stronger through it.
we are but a thread.
so take joy in your trials. i think i realize what Paul means when he says that...we are stronger because of them...we move on from baby food faith onto some nice solid steak....mmm steak.
the more and more God reveals Himself....the more and more i stand in awe of Him