the band aid needs to be ripped off

[in_his_im_age]

i am a mess.

i am broken. shattered into a thousand jagged pieces.
and there are so many, i am overwhelmed. and i dont know what to do.
and even if i could gather all the pieces, im not sure that they would fit back together the way they used to.

i dont know what to do.

and i am so tired of talking
and i fear they are tired of listening

each moment is different from the last

why am i such a thinker? why cant it just leave me
i long to be rid of it
but im scared of its absence just the same
cuz what will it leave in its wake?

thats why i keep opening it up
to make sure i am dealing with this
not just sweeping it under the rug
i dont want to take the easy way out
i want it to be rough
i want to have to work at it
to forge something beautiful

this would be so much easier if this were tangible
if there was some way to measure growth or success
to even have a deadline
i hate that there is so much unknown in this
i really want to know
i hate the waiting

i just dont know what to do.

the only way out is through