Oh man, so this wont make sense....
Okay, so here it is... I was in a mondo mondo bad mood. (Trevor, it was the night I was talking to you and I was not myself) Well I tried to write in my LJ but I got tired and never finished, but I saved it. I dont know that it will make any sense now, and I feel much better, but here it is because I told Allison and Chloe that I would put it up for them. So I am. And this is it:
I am warning you now. I am so lost in thought right now, I have no idea what might come out of this. Please make me a promise while you are reading this. Dont take anything out of context to use against me at a later date. Dont take anything personally, the people I am having personal problems with know about them. I will tell you out right if you are one of them.
I dont know what is going to happen to my life. I can’t predict the future and I am tired of trying. I dont want to know what’s going to happen I just want to sit back and let it happen, but I cant. I cant watch the world go by without having a say in it. I can’t seem to keep my opinions to myself. One of my major flaws. People try to tell me that its a good thing but I know differently. Most of the time I should learn to keep my mouth shut. But somehow I dont see these things till after they take place. Maybe I do. Maybe I ignore them. I dont know if this is out of pride or stupidity or both. But I just cant seem to keep things to myself when I should.
I am living in a fantasy world. I seem to think that everything revolves around me, when in fact that is the farthest thing from the truth. I know that I am surrounded by people who say they care about me. I am not trying to say they dont, but I dont know if they know who I am or if all they care about is my facade. Because that is what I am. I’m a façade and I am not even sure I know who I am so how can anyone else clam to know me? I am truly a bitch and I don’t even have a good reason for it. I push away the people I need the most. I turn on people who have been there for me and I hurt them with my biting sarcasm. I hate who I am and I hate that people pretend to like who I am or who I come across as. I really hate being a bitch but that seems to be what I am and its what I am good at. But oh well… life goes on, with me being nasty to people who love me.
Yea...so that was it, but it was not finished so I didnt post it. But now I have and now you know. LOVE ME!!!
I am warning you now. I am so lost in thought right now, I have no idea what might come out of this. Please make me a promise while you are reading this. Dont take anything out of context to use against me at a later date. Dont take anything personally, the people I am having personal problems with know about them. I will tell you out right if you are one of them.
I dont know what is going to happen to my life. I can’t predict the future and I am tired of trying. I dont want to know what’s going to happen I just want to sit back and let it happen, but I cant. I cant watch the world go by without having a say in it. I can’t seem to keep my opinions to myself. One of my major flaws. People try to tell me that its a good thing but I know differently. Most of the time I should learn to keep my mouth shut. But somehow I dont see these things till after they take place. Maybe I do. Maybe I ignore them. I dont know if this is out of pride or stupidity or both. But I just cant seem to keep things to myself when I should.
I am living in a fantasy world. I seem to think that everything revolves around me, when in fact that is the farthest thing from the truth. I know that I am surrounded by people who say they care about me. I am not trying to say they dont, but I dont know if they know who I am or if all they care about is my facade. Because that is what I am. I’m a façade and I am not even sure I know who I am so how can anyone else clam to know me? I am truly a bitch and I don’t even have a good reason for it. I push away the people I need the most. I turn on people who have been there for me and I hurt them with my biting sarcasm. I hate who I am and I hate that people pretend to like who I am or who I come across as. I really hate being a bitch but that seems to be what I am and its what I am good at. But oh well… life goes on, with me being nasty to people who love me.
Yea...so that was it, but it was not finished so I didnt post it. But now I have and now you know. LOVE ME!!!