ciao
the moment i've finally been waiting for, and yet it seems the longer i stay in cornwall, the longer i can stay out of cornwall. i'm sure there are some degrees of adventure left in this town, but i don't have the heart to stick around. the forced school smiles have turned into peripheral glances and awkward moments. it's not a drag though, considering i was a culprit of the vice versa for so many years. the moment i walked out of school for the last time i promised myself i would leave this town before summer's out.
so, work? i'm a servant to the state now, being paid out of your pockets. the irony is incredible. i get paid more than you to basically sit on a lawnmower all day and yell at mexicans. twelves hour days, five days a week. just like every other summer i've grown to appreciate the value of some shade under a tree with your chest to the sky. but this job is a lot different though. unlike my others, i wasn't working with overpaid union members or cornwallians. these are people that carry around wallets full of coupons, phone cards, ebts, pictures of their kids, and budgets. not only does it let me practice my spanish, but it's showing me the other side. i mean -- of course i have witnessed poverty, and of course i've experienced it. it's just awkward seeing a full grown man with two kids working his hands to the bone with a 19-year old for a boss. they are some the most generous people i've met though. you'd figure living in such a high income area would breed people who aren't stingy with their money but it's quite the opposite. our neighbors safeguard their money, keep it in the banks, and keep making more until they die and ultimately had no idea what they were saving all that money for. to tell you the truth, i would rather be the man with a weedwhacker in his hands instead of the man with the cognac in his hands. and although hard work keeps you earnest, it seems to restrain potential ultimately. i don't need to mention any examples of wasted talent; you can look at your myspace friends for such examples. thus, i've decided to finally choose a college. i don't know what college i'm going to, time will tell; but it's gonna be a good one and out of state.
the advancement of myself... i hate thinking about it. college is for the career-oriented it seems, but i'm going for myself. i have no other reasons to go besides expanding my mind, which will be at a grave cost. bibbly pibbly asdf you, you are all so lucky to be blessed with a straight head and a purse and a family that gives a shit. i don't have a thought about money, or plans for that matter, yet i'm gonna force myself to go to college. it's gonna be a hard road. speaking of road, there is so much i need to do. goal is to have $12,000 saved up in september and disappear, up and vanish. no one will ever see me again. after a puruse around the states, i might be found in the foothills of kerry county, counting my blessings. sky's the limit, money is not an issue, time is not an issue, and an agenda is not on the figurative agenda. my hands are calloused and my brain is packed with all sorts of diy and construction skills. i'm not worrying 'bout a damn thing. my head has been swelling up for 6 years and i need to stop it. during work i think of dean's studebaker roaring down 101... california.
what of cornwall...? nothing. emptiness. this town is dark to me. it's like i'm floating down the danube with conrad. what the fuck. i'm not leaving anything behind.
so what i am i gonna do?
whatever. nothing matters.
until then, peace and solidarity, i'll never see you again.
so, work? i'm a servant to the state now, being paid out of your pockets. the irony is incredible. i get paid more than you to basically sit on a lawnmower all day and yell at mexicans. twelves hour days, five days a week. just like every other summer i've grown to appreciate the value of some shade under a tree with your chest to the sky. but this job is a lot different though. unlike my others, i wasn't working with overpaid union members or cornwallians. these are people that carry around wallets full of coupons, phone cards, ebts, pictures of their kids, and budgets. not only does it let me practice my spanish, but it's showing me the other side. i mean -- of course i have witnessed poverty, and of course i've experienced it. it's just awkward seeing a full grown man with two kids working his hands to the bone with a 19-year old for a boss. they are some the most generous people i've met though. you'd figure living in such a high income area would breed people who aren't stingy with their money but it's quite the opposite. our neighbors safeguard their money, keep it in the banks, and keep making more until they die and ultimately had no idea what they were saving all that money for. to tell you the truth, i would rather be the man with a weedwhacker in his hands instead of the man with the cognac in his hands. and although hard work keeps you earnest, it seems to restrain potential ultimately. i don't need to mention any examples of wasted talent; you can look at your myspace friends for such examples. thus, i've decided to finally choose a college. i don't know what college i'm going to, time will tell; but it's gonna be a good one and out of state.
the advancement of myself... i hate thinking about it. college is for the career-oriented it seems, but i'm going for myself. i have no other reasons to go besides expanding my mind, which will be at a grave cost. bibbly pibbly asdf you, you are all so lucky to be blessed with a straight head and a purse and a family that gives a shit. i don't have a thought about money, or plans for that matter, yet i'm gonna force myself to go to college. it's gonna be a hard road. speaking of road, there is so much i need to do. goal is to have $12,000 saved up in september and disappear, up and vanish. no one will ever see me again. after a puruse around the states, i might be found in the foothills of kerry county, counting my blessings. sky's the limit, money is not an issue, time is not an issue, and an agenda is not on the figurative agenda. my hands are calloused and my brain is packed with all sorts of diy and construction skills. i'm not worrying 'bout a damn thing. my head has been swelling up for 6 years and i need to stop it. during work i think of dean's studebaker roaring down 101... california.
what of cornwall...? nothing. emptiness. this town is dark to me. it's like i'm floating down the danube with conrad. what the fuck. i'm not leaving anything behind.
so what i am i gonna do?
whatever. nothing matters.
until then, peace and solidarity, i'll never see you again.