Oh Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face. You made a first-class fool out of me.
The trip to Hilton Head was mostly a success. Of course I was so sick of Elizabeth by the time I dropped her off at her house I basically shoved her out of the car. She is great, but she definitely wears on me after a few days, and I'm sure that she feels the same way about me. It was fun hanging out with Erika though, and seeing her was most decidedly the highlight of the trip. It was surreal being with both Erika and Elizabeth at the same time, because it made me realize how much I would've rather spent the whole weekend with Erika instead. Also it made me feel like there's just no comparison, Erika is my best friend, and that is that.
Normally, I would say that it is so good to be home etc. But it really isn't; my mother has become so difficult to live with this summer. My mom is even worse at handling stress than I am - which is hard to imagine, and she continues to add things to her plate that everyone else seems to realize she can't handle. The house being for sale is obviously the largest "thing" for her to swallow. My mom just can't let anything out of her control, and when she can't control something she gets extremely angry and irritable; in the process she misplaces her anger on the person she's in contact with the most which is me. I get anxious when I get home before she does, not knowing what kind of mood she'll be in. I tried to talk to her last night about it and she got so angry. Anger is the only word I can think of to describe her main emotional state. She is just so angry all the time, and she exudes stress. I come down stares and she's talking to her friend Kathy, basically venting to her about what a little lazy bitch I am who hasn't done a damn thing all summer, and she basically thinks that I take advantage of her "hospitality" and that I haven't ridden my horse Sporty as much as she wanted. Angry. Which makes me angry.
She was supposed to work all day today, but I wake up and she's here? I was so looking forward to having the house to myself, and she's going to be here complaining all day long. She doesn't give me any peace, and makes me feel bad for being who I want to be. At least when I'm unhappy or going through something I actually do something about it! All my mom does is sit on the couch watching the news with a drink in her hand. Every single night she does this - she has no hobbies, and she sleeps later than I do most days.
I can't wait until Erika comes home and saves me. In my opinion she can never stay long enough.
Normally, I would say that it is so good to be home etc. But it really isn't; my mother has become so difficult to live with this summer. My mom is even worse at handling stress than I am - which is hard to imagine, and she continues to add things to her plate that everyone else seems to realize she can't handle. The house being for sale is obviously the largest "thing" for her to swallow. My mom just can't let anything out of her control, and when she can't control something she gets extremely angry and irritable; in the process she misplaces her anger on the person she's in contact with the most which is me. I get anxious when I get home before she does, not knowing what kind of mood she'll be in. I tried to talk to her last night about it and she got so angry. Anger is the only word I can think of to describe her main emotional state. She is just so angry all the time, and she exudes stress. I come down stares and she's talking to her friend Kathy, basically venting to her about what a little lazy bitch I am who hasn't done a damn thing all summer, and she basically thinks that I take advantage of her "hospitality" and that I haven't ridden my horse Sporty as much as she wanted. Angry. Which makes me angry.
She was supposed to work all day today, but I wake up and she's here? I was so looking forward to having the house to myself, and she's going to be here complaining all day long. She doesn't give me any peace, and makes me feel bad for being who I want to be. At least when I'm unhappy or going through something I actually do something about it! All my mom does is sit on the couch watching the news with a drink in her hand. Every single night she does this - she has no hobbies, and she sleeps later than I do most days.
I can't wait until Erika comes home and saves me. In my opinion she can never stay long enough.