225. {c} [suits] (harvey/donna) a christmas story (2/4)
a christmas story ; r ; 7,612 words ;
2, december 24th
harvey and donna go to donna's parents' house for christmas, taking their newborn baby. family drama ensues, as always, but the two are as witty as ever
December 24th, 2013
Harvey wakes up to a quiet room. No baby screaming. No noise coming from anywhere so loud that he can’t even hear his own breathing. He doesn’t hear the sound of cars honking below or helicopters flying overhead. The hustle of the city has definitely not entered this place. He didn’t know how perfect that would be for Christmas. But there’s something missing.
He peels his eyes open and reaches across the mattress for his bed partner, but comes up empty handed. In fact, the rest of the bed is extremely cold on his warm skin which makes him believe that he’s been alone in the bed for a very long time. He doesn’t remember her being so cat-like that she could rise without waking him. But, the last time that either of them had woken up in the last three weeks has been to a baby and before that she was extremely pregnant, not to mention less graceful.
Just as he’s about to get out of bed and go in search of her, the bedroom door opens and she’s sneaking in. He stills, silently hoping that if he looks so inviting in the bed that she’ll return to it. That is, until he sees that she has a steaming mug in each hand. He quirks his eyebrow as she sets one on the nightstand.
“Good morning, Sleepyhead,” she teases.
He offers her a lopsided grin and stretches. “Morning.”
“Thought I would let you sleep in,” she explains. He reaches for his phone on the nightstand and presses a button to let up the screen. He catches the time and sighs heavily. It’s only 7:00am.
He frowns. “I don’t think I was ever prepared for seven to be considered sleeping in.”
“It’s better than four,” she replies with a shrug.
“That’s true,” he agrees. He stifles a yawn and rolls onto his back. His t-shirt somehow managed to creep up his torso and reveal his back to the cold spots in the sheets. He shivers. The faint smell of coffee drifts to his side of the bed and he eyes her wearily. “Are you drinking coffee?”
“That’s yours,” she answers with a light shake of her head, “mine doesn’t taste nearly as good.”
“I don’t want to be forced to spank you this early in the morning because you’re drinking coffee and know you shouldn’t be,” he replies cheekily.
Her eyebrows pop up on her forehead and her mouth drops open, despite the smile trying to work its way to the corners of it. He knows that he’s got her. Hook, line, and sinker. She shakes her head again and the smile disappears. He’s always been baffled by the way she can instantly transform into someone else - must be the actress in her.
“I’ve been thinking,” she starts. She hands him his steaming cup of coffee, forcing him to slide up in the bed and lean against the headboard for support. He takes the cup from her while mumbling a yeah? and a thanks nearly at the same time. He takes a sip and eyes her curiously. “Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean that we can’t do anything.”
“It’s seven a.m.,” he points out, “and you’re thinking about sex?”
“Just because I’m bringing it up now doesn’t mean that I’ve only been thinking about it this morning,” she corrects.
He smirks, “what about the kid?”
This when she grins, like she’s already made alternate arrangements with that mischievous sparkle in her eye. “That’s the good news. Mom’s got him and she refuses to take no for an answer.”
“Your mom sent you in here to participate in sex alternatives with me?” He asks, eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“Well,” she starts. It almost sounds to him like she’s going to say yes. He doesn’t know how he feels about their sex life being family business. No, wait. He knows exactly how he feels. He is whole heartedly and entirely against it. She lightly shakes her head; he wonders if the long pause was really necessary or if that was really all in his head. “She insists that we spend time together without having to worry about the baby. She called it her Christmas present to us even though she was very against the idea of us being a couple just yesterday.”
“Maybe she’s warming up to the idea,” he says with a shrug.
“Maybe,” she absently agrees. “Point is,” she starts, setting her own mug on the nightstand before getting up and locking the bedroom door. She turns to look at him, the mischievous look even bigger now. His eyebrow arches as a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Saddle up, Cowboy.”
A laugh catches in his throat. “Here? You wanna do this here? Right now?”
“I wanna do this right here, right now.” Her voice is low in that sexy way that demands he be serious. He reminds himself to breathe properly.
“What did you have in mind?” Her eyebrows lift suggestively on her forehead. He lightly shakes his head as a confused smile spreads over his mouth. “I’m not sure what that means, Babe. It’s seven in the morning. My communication without words skills don’t kick in until eight.”
“It means that I love you,” she replies.
He’s a bit tired of her being vague. It’s too early for him to be thinking this intensely. Besides, he’s on vacation. He gives a small laugh and tosses the blankets off of his lap, quickly moving to the other side of the bed which is closest to her. Her hands settle onto his shoulders and his hands touch her hips.
He swallows the thick film of saliva that’s gathered at the base of his throat. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t feel completely comfortable.”
She nods in acknowledgement but slides her arms around his neck as she leans forward to press her mouth against his in a kiss. He is very much aware of her intent, of what she has in mind, but one thing he knows is that she has been very much against it since they’ve started. He’s beginning to wonder if that just had to do with the pregnancy.
His mouth opens in anticipation, lips parting beneath hers. She sighs into his mouth on contact, like it’s been longer than it actually has been since they’ve kissed one another, and his fingers dig into her back. He’s having a hard time holding himself together, at the thought of a physical contact they’ve deprived themselves of for weeks. He can tell by the way he’s holding her up, the way that all of her weight has settled onto him and she is nearly putty in his grasp, that she feels the same way.
Her tongue flits against his teeth and slides along his lips as she arches her torso against his. He gets it, like she’s sending him some kind of message with her body, and he’s pretty sure it isn’t going to take as much effort as she’s putting in to it just to give him a hard on. His fingers slide to the small of her back and her tongue curls around his. Her fingers squeeze his shoulders, thumbs digging into his skin.
Her palms press against his collarbones the moment that she feels his dick harden against her thigh and she looks at him with purpose. He grunts as her hand slides down his front, fingertips tickling his skin at the light touches, and the noise is quickly buried into a sigh. Her teeth nip at the corner of his mouth before grinding against his jaw just briefly. Her short nails are sharp against his skin just above the waistband of his boxer briefs, and shivers beneath her touch.
Her fingers press hard into his stomach. He swallows as her mouth touches his throat and tongue slides over his Adam’s Apple. “You don’t have to do this,” he insists, “I can wait.”
“I don’t want to,” she retorts, her voice muffled by his skin. Her breath seeps into his pores, the warmth hugging his skin like isn’t 20 degrees outside.
His hand slides up her spine and disappears into her hair. Her teeth dig into his collarbone, gentle enough not to hurt but hard enough to arouse him, and her tongue sweeps over the skin there. He can feel her suck on his skin like she’s going to leave her mark. She wouldn’t, he thinks.
He sighs again. She can’t tell if it’s one of pleasure or malcontent. She chooses the former. “Honey, you don’t have to do this. You just had a baby. I-“
She cuts him off by silencing him and putting his mouth to good use against hers. Her nails push up his skin, taking his t-shirt with it and she pulls back to tug it off over his head. His eyebrows furrow as she tosses it back onto the bed behind him.
“It’s sweet of you to keep repeating that I don’t have to do this,” she says, smiles and gives him a brief kiss, “but I want to - to thank you for being so wonderful.”
The crease between his brows deepens. “You’re being very nice to me. Much nicer than normal.”
“Harvey,” she says sharply. She smacks him on the chest, a red mark in the shape of her hand forming just inches away from the one her mouth left moments before. He smirks and wraps his hand around her wrist, like he’s keeping her from hitting him again. He does love a little bit of physical reprimand. “Would you shut up? I’m trying to suck your dick here.”
“That’s some bold dirty talk there,” he comments. “If you’re giving me a blowjob for Christmas does that make me naughty or nice? Because either way, you’re obviously naughty.”
She gives him a pointed look. He relents immediately. He doesn’t know why he’s being so difficult when he’s obviously about to be rewarded for being a very good boy this year.
“Is all this talk about being naughty or nice turning you on or something?”
Her hair wraps around his fingertips and he grins. “I was turned on way before that.”
“Then stop trying to have a conversation because I can’t do both,” she reminds him.
He rolls his eyes but does as he’s told anyway. She smiles triumphantly and briefly kisses him before gliding her hand down his torso. She slips her hand into his boxers and brushes her fingertips over the length of him. He nearly shutters at the warmth, at the way that he had almost forgotten what it was like to have her touch him. Surely it hasn’t been that long.
“Jesus,” he mutters.
She grins and plants kisses along his chest, slowly making her way down his stomach. There is a moment where his breath hitches in his chest, constricts in his throat, tightens in his stomach at the sight of her crouching between his legs. This is not happening. This is not happening. - he keeps repeating to himself. Donna strokes him a few times before he releases a breath. She narrows her gaze at him, almost warningly.
Is that a warning?
One hand pushes at his chest, guiding him to lay back against the mattress, and he groans as he complies. He does know that he wasn’t expecting this when he woke up 15 minutes ago. She loosens his dick out of his boxers; he wasn’t entirely prepared for the temperature change, the quick flush of cold to warm spreading over his shoulders as her mouth circles the tip of him. He almost forgets to breathe, forgets that breathing is an involuntary concept that he’s been doing since birth.
He pushes his palms into his eyes, already on the verge of seeing stars, and rubs at them as her mouth slides along his shaft. Her teeth lightly scratch at the skin, teasing him so incessantly that he isn’t even sure what he should be doing. Where do his hands go? What should he be doing with them? Maybe it’s been so long since his dick has had any attention that it seems like the first time. (Like 4 weeks without sexual related activities is a first for him /sarcasm) (Maybe it’s just that he’s been looking at a woman he’s so attracted to for that long with the permission to touch her but not to touch her too much) - He thinks he’s been learning self-control.
Well, every bit of self-control he’s been working towards is definitely going out the window now.
A knot gathers in his throat or his stomach or his chest - a knot gathers. He swallows in an effort to push it away but she’s definitely doing a number on him. Her refusal to do this for so long (not that he’s really asked her out loud, but every time the question thinks about touching his lips she gives him a firm “no”) has definitely been well worth the wait and it isn’t even over yet.
It’s about to be though.
Her mouth is hot and wet on his dick. He swallows. “Oh god.”
His hand touches the top of her head but his eyes are squeezed shut tight. Her mouth strokes him expertly and it suddenly occurs to him that he really shouldn’t have expected anything less from her because she’s never been anything but the best at everything she does for him. His hand slides through her hair and her hands find his thighs. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle her touching him at all for the rest of the day after this.
“Caution,” he says.
She understands his message. It never did take much with them. If he had to guess, she’d probably know even without having to say anything. Her hand squeezes his thigh and he growls instinctively. What? He doesn’t growl. Where did that come from?
He’s going to - “caution,” he says a little louder this time.
Her tongue circles his head again and he releases a loud breath. He didn’t know he was holding his breath. The breath that he expels is rather large but when he tries to suck in a heavy breath, he doesn’t feel like he gets enough air. His fingers curl in her hair. He’s going to, “Jesus fucking Christ-“
- too late.
All of his muscles in his body tighten and her nails dig half-moons into his thighs. His breathing speeds up, short quick breaths barely touch his lungs, and Donna pulls back with a pop. She lifts her gaze to his and offers him a smirk. Harvey Specter is rendered speechless not for the first time this month.
She starts to pull away from him but he lunges forward and captures her by the wrist. He can barely move and here he is exerting all of his energy to keep her from going anywhere. He’s only been awake for twenty-ish minutes and he’s already worn out. He tugs her towards him and captures her mouth with his own. She was definitely not expecting that.
Harvey crouches behind a covered trailer in the backyard of Donna’s parents’ house, just inches away from Bianca, Heather, and Donna. He wonders briefly how he got roped into being on the girls’ team during a snowball fight. He wouldn’t have felt good teaming up with the guys anyway because the girls were heavily outnumbered. In fact, he thinks that the only reason the girls even agreed to play is because he said that he would be on their team.
One day, it will James having a snowball fight with all of the other kids. Harvey drifts off thinking about the future, wondering if he should teach James to be the kind of kid who insists on being on the girls’ team because it isn’t fair for them to be outnumbered. He thinks about what it could be like to be a kid who does the right thing instead of trying to be the cool one. He should teach his kid that doing the right thing is the cool thing.
He’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t do that anyway then Donna will be all over his ass. She’s always been his moral compass, keeping him from going down a path that is anything less than right. (Which is funny in his head because she’s the one who destroyed the memo, not him, but he would never dare bring it up. Ever. It doesn’t need to be talked about anymore.) If Harvey doesn’t teach his kid that the right thing is the most important thing, then he would feel like he failed as a dad. If Gordon Specter taught him anything, it’s that.
Lucky for Harvey, anything that Matthew and Grant do they do loudly. They’re screaming like they’re running into war as they round the corner and Harvey does his job as the male of the group - he jumps forward and protects the girls from the cold snow that will be impaled at them. It hits him in the back, managing to get around his collar and slide down his spine. It’s freezing on his skin, and he arches forward on impulse like that will keep it from being cold.
He screams in the back of his throat and Donna starts laughing at him. Her hands circle his waist, fingers grasping at his sides, and he thinks of a few ways to shut her up. That is, if he weren’t dealing with a particularly cold piece of snow sliding down his back. Not even the warmest coat in the world could save him now. At least the little girls didn’t get hit in the face this time. He isn’t sure that he could deal with that crying again.
He narrows his gaze at Donna. “What are you laughing at?”
“You even managed to sound manly while screaming,” she observes, “I’m impressed.”
“You think that’s funny? You would scream like a little girl if you had some cold snow in your shirt,” he sulks.
She rolls her eyes. He thinks her eyes are going to fall right out of the sockets when she does that one day. “You’re exaggerating.”
“Sounds like a challenge,” he squeaks.
She quirks an eyebrow and points at him, “Honey, don’t you dare.”
He grins mischievously, scooping up a handful of snow. Her eyes widen while Heather and Bianca take off towards the house behind her. He wouldn’t dare, would he?
“You know, you’ve managed to be sickeningly sweet these past two days. Honey this. Babe that. Sweetheart, baby, even love once. What happened to those other terms of endearment? What were they? Bastard? Or was it dickhead? I can’t remember.”
“You’re such a baby,” she laughs, “and you’re one to talk.”
“What did I do?” He asks, voice trailing into a whine. It’s funny how it does that so often when he’s talking to her.
“You’ve only called me Donna onE tiME,” she argues.
He sighs. “Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? Or is it Debbie?”
“That’s not funny anymore,” she frowns.
His eyebrows furrow. “Since when?”
“Since I became the mother of your child.”
“Fine,” he relents, “you win this round. But we’re not done with the snow conversation.”
She laughs. “You think you can beat me?”
“I don’t think,” he replies. His eyebrows wiggle on his forehead. “I know.”
He creeps towards her but she’s quicker than he anticipated. She takes off across the yard. He knows that she’s quick in a pair of stilettos but apparently when you take away the heel and put her in boots for the snow she’s even faster. He runs four days a week (well, less now that James was born), he should be able to catch up with her no problem. He runs after her, ditching the snow that he’d scooped up, and lets his legs carry him in the same path she’s made.
She laughs loudly when he catches her by the waist and pulls her into his chest. Her back hits him hard but he grins in spite of himself. It’s so hard to focus on anything but her laughter. She turns in his arms and pushes at him, like he’s going to let her go. She knows better than to think that he really will.
He pulls a little too hard at the same time that she pushes and they both crash to the ground. He keeps his arms around her, enough to secure her from actually hitting the ground and just landing on him. Her fingers are circled around the lapels of his jacket and her breath is hot on his cheek. He almost makes a comment about how this is a scene straight out of a romantic comedy, but he decides not to.
“I thought you were going to freeze me out,” she teases, “but you wouldn’t even let me touch the ground.”
“I didn’t want you to melt all the snow since you’re so hot.”
She shakes her head. That was a quick retort even for him - less witty and cheesier. She didn’t prepare herself for the side of Harvey that was practically giving her a cavity every single day. She actually isn’t sure that anything could have possibly prepared her for that. He lifts his glove covered hand and brushes the hair out of her face. The slightest hints of an erection press against her inner thigh.
“Hey, Buddy, if you’re not careful, we’re going to have bigger problems,” she warns. He furrows his eyebrows like he isn’t following her. His eyes are focused on her lips anyway. “If you want to know if you can get into my pants, then the answer is that I would let you if I could.”
“Trust me, I’m good after earlier,” he replies, “but you’re so beautiful I just want to kiss you.”
She sighs and tilts her head. “When have you ever asked me for anything?”
“I need you,” he pouts.
It sounds oddly sexy coming from his mouth. Maybe it’s the way that he’s only ever been this vulnerable with her, how he doesn’t think about the way he is exposed to her when he admits it. His vulnerability is sexy in a way that she wouldn’t possibly find it to be on someone else. She kisses him without him needing to say anything else.
His hands work their way to the small of her back and -
“Donna!” Her mother yells from the back door, “we need you in here.”
The way her mother sounds makes her believe that she’s needed for Mommy duties. Even then, Donna can’t help the annoyed sigh that presses against Harvey’s mouth and she puffs air out against them. He laughs gently at her, but he really isn’t helping the situation at all. She’s silently thankful that he has gloves on because the feeling of his hands on her skin would heavily distract her.
“You’re being summoned,” he mutters.
She lifts her head and calls be right there in the direction of her mother’s form. She sighs and shifts her gaze back to Harvey. “You’re not exactly making it easy for me to leave.”
His thumbs dig into her hips as he pushes her upwards. She doesn’t remember him being so strong, being able to lift her and force her to her feet. She doesn’t remember that being something that he was able to do. Maybe it’s because she weighed 50 pounds more and was the size of a whale.
“I’m not doing anything,” he insists.
She quirks an eyebrow as he helps her to her feet. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
“I plead the fifth,” he says with a light shake of his head. He follows her to her feet and his hand finds the small of her back. Impulsively, she begins sweeping her hands at his snow covered back as the cold air bits her cheeks. He kisses her again at the corner of her mouth. “Better hurry,” he adds, hand slapping against her ass.
Her mouth drops open. She wasn’t expecting that at all. He smirks in return.
He’s so full of surprises today.
Of course it would be like this. Of course she would be wedged between the father of her child and the mother of her brother’s children, left to wonder what the hell is really happening as Rebecca’s elbow digs into her ribcage. Donna has half a mind to tell Harvey to switch her spots, if it weren’t for one very important detail.
Rebecca is very much capable and willing to touch Harvey in places that would make Donna rip her sister-in-law’s hair right out of her head. Donna doesn’t want to be that jealous kind of woman, but she doesn’t play nicely when things belong to her. Maybe that’s why her and Harvey have always gotten along so well - he doesn’t play nicely either and he does not like to share. She can even see the annoyance flare in his nostrils when she calls him her boss rather than her boyfriend (fiancé) on occasion. She thinks that for him, crossing that line was inevitable and he doesn’t ever want to go back.
Rebecca’s lewd comments burn the air. Like the space in the room is tainted, doused in gasoline, everybody is feeling the tension now. And Donna can tell that shit has only just begun to hit the fan. She can only use her newborn baby as an excuse to escape the tension so many times, especially since Harvey is tossing the same excuse into the air; she really does love being in the loop though.
Donna feels the intense gaze of her partner on her skin, Harvey’s fingertips so close to her knee. He’s watching her hands as though his life depends on it, like he’s looking for any kind of crack in her steely façade. The front that she’s putting on in front of her dysfunctional family is not one that Harvey is familiar with. She’s keeping her mouth shut at times that he can see her ache to say whatever is on her mind, but she isn’t speaking she’s biting her tongue.
For a moment, he is in awe of her.
She, however, is tired of her sister-in-law tossing her fiancé flirtatious phrases. She’s tired of overhearing comments like Oh, Harvey, you’re so handsome. She can’t decide if Rebecca is just trying to challenge her or trying to be a thorn in Brandon’s side. Donna really thinks the only reason she has wedged herself between Rebecca and Harvey is because she doesn’t trust Rebecca to keep her hands off of Harvey. If that were to happen, Donna would have to cut her throat.
“Oh shit,” Harvey mutters when he glances at his phone. Donna quirks an eyebrow from across the bedroom after having just gotten James to fall back to sleep. She’s pretty sure feeding the baby is not a two person ordeal, but Harvey just really isn’t interested in being stuck with her family. “I forgot to tell you that I invited Marcus.”
Donna smirks and lays back on the bed, her hair fanning out behind her. She shifts a gaze towards him as he slips his phone back into his pocket. “I know you did.”
“How do you know that?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing.
She laughs. “He told me when I called to invite him. I thought that he shouldn’t miss spending Christmas with his only nephew.”
“You see,” he starts, grin spreading across his mouth, “this is why I love you.”
“Because I’m wildly attractive?” She teases.
He leans onto his knees, hovering his face over hers as he peers at her. “Among other things.”
A silence takes over them and he leans forward to press his lips against hers, soft and gentle like a silent appreciation. She understand everything that he conveys in his movements. Her hands fist in his hair like she’s trying to keep him from going too far. She wonders if this is what life is going to be like, stolen moments like they are forbidden. Are they even allowed to be together? Is she going to lose her job? She really shouldn’t be pondering this over the holidays - especially while still on maternity leave.
“I really miss work,” she admits.
His nose slides against hers, his eyelashes tickling her face. “Soon.”
His breath is warm on her face. She can feel his soft lips on hers and he’s only hovering above her. “I really miss sex, too.”
“Me too,” he agrees, “but it’ll happen soon enough.”
“Everything in our life right now is just not yet,” she complains.
“Well, that kind of comes with having a baby. We have to lose who we are for a little bit and focus on our kid before we find our way back to ourselves.”
She sighs. “You’re a great dad, Harvey.”
“I wouldn’t be able to do it without you,” he insists. She knows that he’s about to go into his subtle way of telling her that he needs her and he couldn’t do it without her. Some days he’s direct, but others he is very cryptic. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just guessing most of the time. I don’t know how to be a dad. I’m just looking at my kid and I see you on his face. It makes me love you even more. He looks just like you and it’s more than I ever thought I would actually get.”
She shakes her head in protest. “He looks like you. He has your eyes and nose. All he got from me was his attitude.”
“Something tells me he’s going to be a handful,” Harvey absently agrees with a laugh.
“If his daddy wasn’t a sassy little girl ninety percent of the time then we wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Hey!” Harvey calls, “that’s just not true.”
She erupts into laughter before his hands can even touch her. There’s an echo that vibrates in her chest as he pushes his fingers into her skin just below her ribcage and starts tickling her just a little. She didn’t used to be ticklish. Having a baby really messed with her body.
“Harvey,” she screams between laughs, “stop. You’re going to wake up the baby.”
“No, you’re going to wake up the baby,” he corrects with a grin. Damn lawyers always focusing on the word choice of other people.
He silences her laughter by kissing her again, his palms immediately flattening against her stomach. It bothers her how he’s always touching her in places that haven’t returned to the way it was before she was ever pregnant. She doesn’t know why it bothers her so much. She’s heard of men being so afraid to touch a woman after they’ve given birth that it permanently damages a relationship. She’s probably overthinking it. She’s always overthinking things in regard to her relationship with him.
His tongue sweeps over her slightly parted lips and his fingers slide under the hem of her shirt. Her hands find his wrists and she tugs his hands upwards. She slides her fingers between his, threading them together to keep them occupied. She doesn’t know how to get over this feeling. She’s been trying to keep these fears hidden from him, but he knows her so well that it’s only a matter of time.
He says nothing about it when he pulls back and presses his mouth against her jaw.
“What’s the matter?” He asks against her mouth.
She should have seen it coming. She’s been worrying about it every time that he touches her. This conversation was inevitable. “Nothing.”
“Donna,” he replies, looking at her pointedly. He isn’t buying it.
“It’s just,” she starts.
She sighs because she really doesn’t want to have this conversation. He’s going to find her ridiculous because she’s afraid. She’d be afraid if he didn’t try to touch her, and she’s afraid because he is - because she can’t give him what he wants right now and she wonders if that will make him look somewhere else. What is she thinking? This is Harvey Specter, the man with morals that surprise everyone.
She shakes her head and squeezes his hands in hers. “I don’t look like I did before I got pregnant.”
“That’s okay,” he replies softly, “it’s only been three weeks and there’s plenty of time for you to get that back. We will have to work hard at it if that’s what you want. But I think you’re beautiful, you look amazing and I don’t want to stop touching you. It’s like I’ll forget this is real if I do.”
“Honey, you do realize that Rebecca is five minutes away from ripping your pants off and I will then be forced to cut her throat, right?” Donna counters.
"Lucky for you, you have a great lawyer."
"You don't do pro-bono," she reminds him
He laughs. "Who says you wouldn't owe me?"
"You do remember that we are actually talking about someone touching you, right? And how I would have to kill them if they did?"
He swallows thickly. “I’ve only been looking at you, Babe. I know that’s hard to believe but I think you need to trust me when I tell you that no one else will ever have me like you.”
“Your feelings for me have never kept you from looking at other women,” she half scoffs.
He smirks and brushes his thumb over her knuckle. “That was different.”
“How?”
“I couldn’t touch you whenever I wanted,” he explains. He kisses her lightly. “Now I can.”
Kids keep screaming. It’s driving Harvey crazy. It doesn’t help that Donna left about 20 minutes ago to meet up with Marcus so he could find his way back. He doesn’t have a clue what could be taking them so long unless his brother is really THAT directionally challenged. Marcus was so bright, he had a bright future, Harvey thinks as though his brother is lost.
He’s a bit excited to see his little brother. He hasn’t seen him in so long. Marcus couldn’t make it to the hospital when James was born because he was in Africa on some volunteer work. He sometimes wonders how his little brother ended up the way that he is, but then Harvey remembers the kind of man that Gordon was. Harvey thinks that he ended up being the only one damaged by his mother.
Marcus has lived his life differently than Harvey ever would. That time that Marcus was in the hospital years ago was because he was sent back home from Africa with Malaria. He had gone with the Doctors Without Borders program when he was just an intern against Harvey’s advisement. Harvey couldn’t even get ahold of him when their dad died. Harvey’s just lucky he was able to send Marcus an email months ago to let him know that he was going to be a dad. Upon receiving that email, Marcus responded that he would stay home when he came back.
So, of course Donna knows the town better than him and insisted that she go to meet up with Marcus - of course she did. She practically abandoned him with her family to go because one of them had to stay with James like her parents aren’t capable of watching a baby. It isn’t that he misses her company, it’s that he’s worried because it does not take 20 minutes to get to where they were meeting and back. He isn’t worried.
Okay, he’s a little worried. He’s been pacing since she left. The snow has been coming down a bit, at least he thought it was. His mind could just be playing tricks on him. He’s moments from looking for his phone and calling her when the door pops open. Donna is laughing, her arm looped through Marcus’, and it prompts Harvey to paint a scowl across his face.
He jumps towards the door from his place at the bottom of the stairs. His arms are crossed in front of his chest angrily. “What took you so long?” He practically accuses.
“Marcus was telling me all about his latest trip,” Donna explains, “and the bus ran a little late.”
“Where’s my nephew?” Marcus grins. Donna thinks he looks just like Harvey.
Harvey’s gaze narrows on his brother. “He’s asleep. That’s what newborns do.”
Donna quirks an eyebrow. “Were you pacing by the door?”
“I was not,” Harvey sighs, “I was not pacing by the door. I was just…”
Donna shakes her head and shields her smirk. Harvey helps Donna out of her coat as Marcus shrugs himself out of his, subsequently looking for a place to hang their outdoor clothing by the front door. Just as Harvey takes his brother’s jacket a 5 year old kid runs by with Amy in tow. Harvey catches the way Marcus looks at Donna’s little sister and he shakes his head warningly.
“Amy,” Donna addresses with a grin, “this is Harvey’s brother, Marcus. Marcus, this is my little sister Amy.”
“I’d shake your hand but I’m chasing my kid,” Amy says with an apologetic smile, “he’s not really interested in taking a bath right now and he needs to get to bed so Santa can come.”
She says the last part louder so it can reach Zachary’s ears. Marcus smiles in an amused way, in a way that Harvey can remember smiling when he first met a Paulsen woman. He supposes that Marcus has always looked at Donna like that. There shouldn’t be anything to worry about then.
“I’m really just eager to meet my nephew,” Marcus replies honestly.
Harvey feels like his eyes are deceiving him, the way that Marcus is watching Amy while reaching for Donna. Inviting him to a household full of Paulsen women was clearly a horrible idea. Harvey almost smacks his little brother on the arm but decides against it. He rocks on his heels in anticipation for the conversation to end. They’re both staring at each other while saying they want to be doing something else. This is beyond logic to Harvey despite the fact that he experienced the very same thing for over 10 years.
“I caught the monster,” Shawn, Amy’s boyfriend, says as he carries Zachary in over his shoulder.
“Right,” Amy says, ripping her gaze away from the staring contest. Donna rolls her eyes as she reaches for Harvey’s hand and steps closer to him. Harvey shakes his head as she hugs his arm, watching the slight pout form on Marcus’ face. He has always been a little bit in love with Donna, not that Harvey blames him. “I better go.”
Shawn tosses daggers at Marcus over his shoulder as he follows Amy out of the room with Zachary in his grasp.
“God, what are you doing?” Harvey accuses barely above a whisper, the back of his hand hitting Marcus’ upper arm. “You just can’t help yourself, huh?”
“It isn’t like I have a lot of options in Africa,” Marcus replies with a shrug.
Donna interjects before the brothers can start arguing. “The kid is asleep, but I’ll be happy to take you to him.”
Marcus is nearly jumping up and down in excitement. Meanwhile, Harvey has to remind himself to take a deep breath and settle his nerves. He’s overreacting and he doesn’t even know why. His palms feel sweaty, even with Donna’s pressed against his. Great, a visible reaction. Donna doesn’t miss a thing.
“Don’t you want to meet the rest of Donna’s family?” Harvey suggests.
She squeezes Harvey’s hand, her nails digging into the back of his palm. “He can meet them later, Harvey. He’s here to see your son.”
“He’s a baby. He doesn’t really do anything but cry and sleep,” he counters.
Donna sighs warningly. “Then how come you can only leave his side for an hour, if that?”
“It’s not like that,” Harvey insists. Donna’s hand leaves his and he knows that he’s done something wrong. He outwardly groans and Marcus looks at him like he’s become a whiny child. Donna motions to Marcus to follow her up the stairs. “Don’t wake him up,” Harvey warns.
Donna shakes her hand and smiles mischievously, “he’s my baby. I’ll wake him if I want to.”
Harvey practically stomps after them up the stairs. Marcus’ duffle bag is tossed over his shoulder and bangs against the wooden rail as he follows Donna. Donna is such a defiant woman. Harvey doesn’t even know how he can keep up with her most days. She always keeps him on his toes, that’s for sure.
Donna lets Marcus go into the bedroom first but before the two of them can follow, she closes the bedroom door and corners Harvey. “What’s your problem?”
“I was worried,” he admits.
She laughs and he immediately sulks in return. “Sweetheart, you need to take it down a notch. You haven’t seen your brother in what? Three? Four years? Give him a hug. Tell him you’re glad to see him. Be excited for him to meet his nephew.”
He huffs. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that to me,” she counters. She runs her hands over his arms and gives them a slight squeeze. He doesn’t know what her ultimate goal is. Maybe she’s being reassuring. Maybe it’s something else. He tilts his head slightly. “I’m sure your brother will pretend none of that happened if you go in there without the sulking. No apology needed.”
Harvey swallows. “Fine, but he’s going to fuck your sister if she gives him the time of day.”
She rolls her eyes, “thank you for the subtlety, Hot Shot.”
“Oh come on, you know he’s always had a thing for you. He’s going to transfer all of those feelings onto someone else and your sister seemed fairly open to the idea,” Harvey points out.
“Who says we never-“
“Don’t you even finish that sentence,” Harvey interrupts, “that isn’t even funny to joke about.”
She pushes up onto her toes and presses a kiss to his jaw. “Be an excited Daddy.”
“I am an excited Daddy,” he corrects, “but that doesn’t mean I need an image of you and my brother having sex in my head. Do you remember that last time I saw a guy touching you?”
“Oh yeah, we don’t want a repeat of that,” Donna decides. “But this is your brother, Harvey. He’s here for you and for James. He isn’t here for me.”
“He’s maybe here for you a little bit,” Harvey disagrees.
“Stop being ridiculous,” she says with a roll of the eyes.
He kisses her again. “I can’t help it, Babe. Being with you makes me absolutely crazy.”
“So does being without me.”
“Exactly.”
Donna’s practically falling asleep on Harvey, her legs draped over his thigh and hugging his arm. He doesn’t entirely seem comfortable that she decided to use him to get comfortable, but he supposes that it’s the only way the three of them can fit on the loveseat. He supposes that could really be much worse than having her so close to him, his arm wrapped around her back to brace her.
Her breathing evens out and Harvey thinks that she probably fell asleep. He tilts his head to look at her only to discover that she did fall asleep. It figures, he thinks, she would fall asleep in the middle of a very loud room.
Harvey pokes Marcus’ arm. “I need to get her to go to bed.”
“It’s only nine o’clock,” Marcus points out.
“James woke her up early,” Harvey explains. He doesn’t even know that to be true. He’s just assuming because James never woke him up throughout the night. He’s beginning to wonder if she even slept at all. He can’t deal with her level of energy. “Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Marcus insists.
Harvey absently pats his little brother’s shoulder before returning his hand to Donna’s arm. His fingers drag down her spine as he uses his other hand to brush a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She huffs but her eyes don’t open.
“You should go to bed,” Harvey mutters in her ear. “You’ve had a long day.”
“Are you coming?” She asks against his throat.
“I, uh,” he starts but he doesn’t know how to finish.
Her fingers curl into his ribs as she grasps at his shirt. “Then I’m fine.”
He sighs. “You’re tired. It’s okay if you want to go to bed.”
“We haven’t even done the Christmas movie or the presents,” she replies.
“The movie started twenty minutes ago. You’ve been asleep for thirty.” He laughs a little, pressing his chin against her forehead. She peels her eyes open and peers at him. “I’ll come to bed soon.”
“Oh yeah,” she says like she suddenly remembers something, “you should spend time with your brother while he’s here.”
“We have tomorrow to talk,” Harvey replies, “I just want to be sure he has a place to sleep before we bail on him.”
“Mom said she was going to put him where she was going to put you before, you know, the surprise,” she clarifies. He’s surprised that she’s so suddenly awake. The fingers of her other hand curls around his forearm. His fingers absently tap on her thigh in response. “So you’ll come to bed then?”
“Can’t go without me?” He teases.
She sighs and shakes her head. “It’s just not comfortable without you. Then you come to bed and move around a lot. And so I have to-”
He smiles sarcastically, “got it, Babe.”
2, december 24th
harvey and donna go to donna's parents' house for christmas, taking their newborn baby. family drama ensues, as always, but the two are as witty as ever
December 24th, 2013
Harvey wakes up to a quiet room. No baby screaming. No noise coming from anywhere so loud that he can’t even hear his own breathing. He doesn’t hear the sound of cars honking below or helicopters flying overhead. The hustle of the city has definitely not entered this place. He didn’t know how perfect that would be for Christmas. But there’s something missing.
He peels his eyes open and reaches across the mattress for his bed partner, but comes up empty handed. In fact, the rest of the bed is extremely cold on his warm skin which makes him believe that he’s been alone in the bed for a very long time. He doesn’t remember her being so cat-like that she could rise without waking him. But, the last time that either of them had woken up in the last three weeks has been to a baby and before that she was extremely pregnant, not to mention less graceful.
Just as he’s about to get out of bed and go in search of her, the bedroom door opens and she’s sneaking in. He stills, silently hoping that if he looks so inviting in the bed that she’ll return to it. That is, until he sees that she has a steaming mug in each hand. He quirks his eyebrow as she sets one on the nightstand.
“Good morning, Sleepyhead,” she teases.
He offers her a lopsided grin and stretches. “Morning.”
“Thought I would let you sleep in,” she explains. He reaches for his phone on the nightstand and presses a button to let up the screen. He catches the time and sighs heavily. It’s only 7:00am.
He frowns. “I don’t think I was ever prepared for seven to be considered sleeping in.”
“It’s better than four,” she replies with a shrug.
“That’s true,” he agrees. He stifles a yawn and rolls onto his back. His t-shirt somehow managed to creep up his torso and reveal his back to the cold spots in the sheets. He shivers. The faint smell of coffee drifts to his side of the bed and he eyes her wearily. “Are you drinking coffee?”
“That’s yours,” she answers with a light shake of her head, “mine doesn’t taste nearly as good.”
“I don’t want to be forced to spank you this early in the morning because you’re drinking coffee and know you shouldn’t be,” he replies cheekily.
Her eyebrows pop up on her forehead and her mouth drops open, despite the smile trying to work its way to the corners of it. He knows that he’s got her. Hook, line, and sinker. She shakes her head again and the smile disappears. He’s always been baffled by the way she can instantly transform into someone else - must be the actress in her.
“I’ve been thinking,” she starts. She hands him his steaming cup of coffee, forcing him to slide up in the bed and lean against the headboard for support. He takes the cup from her while mumbling a yeah? and a thanks nearly at the same time. He takes a sip and eyes her curiously. “Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean that we can’t do anything.”
“It’s seven a.m.,” he points out, “and you’re thinking about sex?”
“Just because I’m bringing it up now doesn’t mean that I’ve only been thinking about it this morning,” she corrects.
He smirks, “what about the kid?”
This when she grins, like she’s already made alternate arrangements with that mischievous sparkle in her eye. “That’s the good news. Mom’s got him and she refuses to take no for an answer.”
“Your mom sent you in here to participate in sex alternatives with me?” He asks, eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“Well,” she starts. It almost sounds to him like she’s going to say yes. He doesn’t know how he feels about their sex life being family business. No, wait. He knows exactly how he feels. He is whole heartedly and entirely against it. She lightly shakes her head; he wonders if the long pause was really necessary or if that was really all in his head. “She insists that we spend time together without having to worry about the baby. She called it her Christmas present to us even though she was very against the idea of us being a couple just yesterday.”
“Maybe she’s warming up to the idea,” he says with a shrug.
“Maybe,” she absently agrees. “Point is,” she starts, setting her own mug on the nightstand before getting up and locking the bedroom door. She turns to look at him, the mischievous look even bigger now. His eyebrow arches as a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Saddle up, Cowboy.”
A laugh catches in his throat. “Here? You wanna do this here? Right now?”
“I wanna do this right here, right now.” Her voice is low in that sexy way that demands he be serious. He reminds himself to breathe properly.
“What did you have in mind?” Her eyebrows lift suggestively on her forehead. He lightly shakes his head as a confused smile spreads over his mouth. “I’m not sure what that means, Babe. It’s seven in the morning. My communication without words skills don’t kick in until eight.”
“It means that I love you,” she replies.
He’s a bit tired of her being vague. It’s too early for him to be thinking this intensely. Besides, he’s on vacation. He gives a small laugh and tosses the blankets off of his lap, quickly moving to the other side of the bed which is closest to her. Her hands settle onto his shoulders and his hands touch her hips.
He swallows the thick film of saliva that’s gathered at the base of his throat. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t feel completely comfortable.”
She nods in acknowledgement but slides her arms around his neck as she leans forward to press her mouth against his in a kiss. He is very much aware of her intent, of what she has in mind, but one thing he knows is that she has been very much against it since they’ve started. He’s beginning to wonder if that just had to do with the pregnancy.
His mouth opens in anticipation, lips parting beneath hers. She sighs into his mouth on contact, like it’s been longer than it actually has been since they’ve kissed one another, and his fingers dig into her back. He’s having a hard time holding himself together, at the thought of a physical contact they’ve deprived themselves of for weeks. He can tell by the way he’s holding her up, the way that all of her weight has settled onto him and she is nearly putty in his grasp, that she feels the same way.
Her tongue flits against his teeth and slides along his lips as she arches her torso against his. He gets it, like she’s sending him some kind of message with her body, and he’s pretty sure it isn’t going to take as much effort as she’s putting in to it just to give him a hard on. His fingers slide to the small of her back and her tongue curls around his. Her fingers squeeze his shoulders, thumbs digging into his skin.
Her palms press against his collarbones the moment that she feels his dick harden against her thigh and she looks at him with purpose. He grunts as her hand slides down his front, fingertips tickling his skin at the light touches, and the noise is quickly buried into a sigh. Her teeth nip at the corner of his mouth before grinding against his jaw just briefly. Her short nails are sharp against his skin just above the waistband of his boxer briefs, and shivers beneath her touch.
Her fingers press hard into his stomach. He swallows as her mouth touches his throat and tongue slides over his Adam’s Apple. “You don’t have to do this,” he insists, “I can wait.”
“I don’t want to,” she retorts, her voice muffled by his skin. Her breath seeps into his pores, the warmth hugging his skin like isn’t 20 degrees outside.
His hand slides up her spine and disappears into her hair. Her teeth dig into his collarbone, gentle enough not to hurt but hard enough to arouse him, and her tongue sweeps over the skin there. He can feel her suck on his skin like she’s going to leave her mark. She wouldn’t, he thinks.
He sighs again. She can’t tell if it’s one of pleasure or malcontent. She chooses the former. “Honey, you don’t have to do this. You just had a baby. I-“
She cuts him off by silencing him and putting his mouth to good use against hers. Her nails push up his skin, taking his t-shirt with it and she pulls back to tug it off over his head. His eyebrows furrow as she tosses it back onto the bed behind him.
“It’s sweet of you to keep repeating that I don’t have to do this,” she says, smiles and gives him a brief kiss, “but I want to - to thank you for being so wonderful.”
The crease between his brows deepens. “You’re being very nice to me. Much nicer than normal.”
“Harvey,” she says sharply. She smacks him on the chest, a red mark in the shape of her hand forming just inches away from the one her mouth left moments before. He smirks and wraps his hand around her wrist, like he’s keeping her from hitting him again. He does love a little bit of physical reprimand. “Would you shut up? I’m trying to suck your dick here.”
“That’s some bold dirty talk there,” he comments. “If you’re giving me a blowjob for Christmas does that make me naughty or nice? Because either way, you’re obviously naughty.”
She gives him a pointed look. He relents immediately. He doesn’t know why he’s being so difficult when he’s obviously about to be rewarded for being a very good boy this year.
“Is all this talk about being naughty or nice turning you on or something?”
Her hair wraps around his fingertips and he grins. “I was turned on way before that.”
“Then stop trying to have a conversation because I can’t do both,” she reminds him.
He rolls his eyes but does as he’s told anyway. She smiles triumphantly and briefly kisses him before gliding her hand down his torso. She slips her hand into his boxers and brushes her fingertips over the length of him. He nearly shutters at the warmth, at the way that he had almost forgotten what it was like to have her touch him. Surely it hasn’t been that long.
“Jesus,” he mutters.
She grins and plants kisses along his chest, slowly making her way down his stomach. There is a moment where his breath hitches in his chest, constricts in his throat, tightens in his stomach at the sight of her crouching between his legs. This is not happening. This is not happening. - he keeps repeating to himself. Donna strokes him a few times before he releases a breath. She narrows her gaze at him, almost warningly.
Is that a warning?
One hand pushes at his chest, guiding him to lay back against the mattress, and he groans as he complies. He does know that he wasn’t expecting this when he woke up 15 minutes ago. She loosens his dick out of his boxers; he wasn’t entirely prepared for the temperature change, the quick flush of cold to warm spreading over his shoulders as her mouth circles the tip of him. He almost forgets to breathe, forgets that breathing is an involuntary concept that he’s been doing since birth.
He pushes his palms into his eyes, already on the verge of seeing stars, and rubs at them as her mouth slides along his shaft. Her teeth lightly scratch at the skin, teasing him so incessantly that he isn’t even sure what he should be doing. Where do his hands go? What should he be doing with them? Maybe it’s been so long since his dick has had any attention that it seems like the first time. (Like 4 weeks without sexual related activities is a first for him /sarcasm) (Maybe it’s just that he’s been looking at a woman he’s so attracted to for that long with the permission to touch her but not to touch her too much) - He thinks he’s been learning self-control.
Well, every bit of self-control he’s been working towards is definitely going out the window now.
A knot gathers in his throat or his stomach or his chest - a knot gathers. He swallows in an effort to push it away but she’s definitely doing a number on him. Her refusal to do this for so long (not that he’s really asked her out loud, but every time the question thinks about touching his lips she gives him a firm “no”) has definitely been well worth the wait and it isn’t even over yet.
It’s about to be though.
Her mouth is hot and wet on his dick. He swallows. “Oh god.”
His hand touches the top of her head but his eyes are squeezed shut tight. Her mouth strokes him expertly and it suddenly occurs to him that he really shouldn’t have expected anything less from her because she’s never been anything but the best at everything she does for him. His hand slides through her hair and her hands find his thighs. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle her touching him at all for the rest of the day after this.
“Caution,” he says.
She understands his message. It never did take much with them. If he had to guess, she’d probably know even without having to say anything. Her hand squeezes his thigh and he growls instinctively. What? He doesn’t growl. Where did that come from?
He’s going to - “caution,” he says a little louder this time.
Her tongue circles his head again and he releases a loud breath. He didn’t know he was holding his breath. The breath that he expels is rather large but when he tries to suck in a heavy breath, he doesn’t feel like he gets enough air. His fingers curl in her hair. He’s going to, “Jesus fucking Christ-“
- too late.
All of his muscles in his body tighten and her nails dig half-moons into his thighs. His breathing speeds up, short quick breaths barely touch his lungs, and Donna pulls back with a pop. She lifts her gaze to his and offers him a smirk. Harvey Specter is rendered speechless not for the first time this month.
She starts to pull away from him but he lunges forward and captures her by the wrist. He can barely move and here he is exerting all of his energy to keep her from going anywhere. He’s only been awake for twenty-ish minutes and he’s already worn out. He tugs her towards him and captures her mouth with his own. She was definitely not expecting that.
Harvey crouches behind a covered trailer in the backyard of Donna’s parents’ house, just inches away from Bianca, Heather, and Donna. He wonders briefly how he got roped into being on the girls’ team during a snowball fight. He wouldn’t have felt good teaming up with the guys anyway because the girls were heavily outnumbered. In fact, he thinks that the only reason the girls even agreed to play is because he said that he would be on their team.
One day, it will James having a snowball fight with all of the other kids. Harvey drifts off thinking about the future, wondering if he should teach James to be the kind of kid who insists on being on the girls’ team because it isn’t fair for them to be outnumbered. He thinks about what it could be like to be a kid who does the right thing instead of trying to be the cool one. He should teach his kid that doing the right thing is the cool thing.
He’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t do that anyway then Donna will be all over his ass. She’s always been his moral compass, keeping him from going down a path that is anything less than right. (Which is funny in his head because she’s the one who destroyed the memo, not him, but he would never dare bring it up. Ever. It doesn’t need to be talked about anymore.) If Harvey doesn’t teach his kid that the right thing is the most important thing, then he would feel like he failed as a dad. If Gordon Specter taught him anything, it’s that.
Lucky for Harvey, anything that Matthew and Grant do they do loudly. They’re screaming like they’re running into war as they round the corner and Harvey does his job as the male of the group - he jumps forward and protects the girls from the cold snow that will be impaled at them. It hits him in the back, managing to get around his collar and slide down his spine. It’s freezing on his skin, and he arches forward on impulse like that will keep it from being cold.
He screams in the back of his throat and Donna starts laughing at him. Her hands circle his waist, fingers grasping at his sides, and he thinks of a few ways to shut her up. That is, if he weren’t dealing with a particularly cold piece of snow sliding down his back. Not even the warmest coat in the world could save him now. At least the little girls didn’t get hit in the face this time. He isn’t sure that he could deal with that crying again.
He narrows his gaze at Donna. “What are you laughing at?”
“You even managed to sound manly while screaming,” she observes, “I’m impressed.”
“You think that’s funny? You would scream like a little girl if you had some cold snow in your shirt,” he sulks.
She rolls her eyes. He thinks her eyes are going to fall right out of the sockets when she does that one day. “You’re exaggerating.”
“Sounds like a challenge,” he squeaks.
She quirks an eyebrow and points at him, “Honey, don’t you dare.”
He grins mischievously, scooping up a handful of snow. Her eyes widen while Heather and Bianca take off towards the house behind her. He wouldn’t dare, would he?
“You know, you’ve managed to be sickeningly sweet these past two days. Honey this. Babe that. Sweetheart, baby, even love once. What happened to those other terms of endearment? What were they? Bastard? Or was it dickhead? I can’t remember.”
“You’re such a baby,” she laughs, “and you’re one to talk.”
“What did I do?” He asks, voice trailing into a whine. It’s funny how it does that so often when he’s talking to her.
“You’ve only called me Donna onE tiME,” she argues.
He sighs. “Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? Or is it Debbie?”
“That’s not funny anymore,” she frowns.
His eyebrows furrow. “Since when?”
“Since I became the mother of your child.”
“Fine,” he relents, “you win this round. But we’re not done with the snow conversation.”
She laughs. “You think you can beat me?”
“I don’t think,” he replies. His eyebrows wiggle on his forehead. “I know.”
He creeps towards her but she’s quicker than he anticipated. She takes off across the yard. He knows that she’s quick in a pair of stilettos but apparently when you take away the heel and put her in boots for the snow she’s even faster. He runs four days a week (well, less now that James was born), he should be able to catch up with her no problem. He runs after her, ditching the snow that he’d scooped up, and lets his legs carry him in the same path she’s made.
She laughs loudly when he catches her by the waist and pulls her into his chest. Her back hits him hard but he grins in spite of himself. It’s so hard to focus on anything but her laughter. She turns in his arms and pushes at him, like he’s going to let her go. She knows better than to think that he really will.
He pulls a little too hard at the same time that she pushes and they both crash to the ground. He keeps his arms around her, enough to secure her from actually hitting the ground and just landing on him. Her fingers are circled around the lapels of his jacket and her breath is hot on his cheek. He almost makes a comment about how this is a scene straight out of a romantic comedy, but he decides not to.
“I thought you were going to freeze me out,” she teases, “but you wouldn’t even let me touch the ground.”
“I didn’t want you to melt all the snow since you’re so hot.”
She shakes her head. That was a quick retort even for him - less witty and cheesier. She didn’t prepare herself for the side of Harvey that was practically giving her a cavity every single day. She actually isn’t sure that anything could have possibly prepared her for that. He lifts his glove covered hand and brushes the hair out of her face. The slightest hints of an erection press against her inner thigh.
“Hey, Buddy, if you’re not careful, we’re going to have bigger problems,” she warns. He furrows his eyebrows like he isn’t following her. His eyes are focused on her lips anyway. “If you want to know if you can get into my pants, then the answer is that I would let you if I could.”
“Trust me, I’m good after earlier,” he replies, “but you’re so beautiful I just want to kiss you.”
She sighs and tilts her head. “When have you ever asked me for anything?”
“I need you,” he pouts.
It sounds oddly sexy coming from his mouth. Maybe it’s the way that he’s only ever been this vulnerable with her, how he doesn’t think about the way he is exposed to her when he admits it. His vulnerability is sexy in a way that she wouldn’t possibly find it to be on someone else. She kisses him without him needing to say anything else.
His hands work their way to the small of her back and -
“Donna!” Her mother yells from the back door, “we need you in here.”
The way her mother sounds makes her believe that she’s needed for Mommy duties. Even then, Donna can’t help the annoyed sigh that presses against Harvey’s mouth and she puffs air out against them. He laughs gently at her, but he really isn’t helping the situation at all. She’s silently thankful that he has gloves on because the feeling of his hands on her skin would heavily distract her.
“You’re being summoned,” he mutters.
She lifts her head and calls be right there in the direction of her mother’s form. She sighs and shifts her gaze back to Harvey. “You’re not exactly making it easy for me to leave.”
His thumbs dig into her hips as he pushes her upwards. She doesn’t remember him being so strong, being able to lift her and force her to her feet. She doesn’t remember that being something that he was able to do. Maybe it’s because she weighed 50 pounds more and was the size of a whale.
“I’m not doing anything,” he insists.
She quirks an eyebrow as he helps her to her feet. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
“I plead the fifth,” he says with a light shake of his head. He follows her to her feet and his hand finds the small of her back. Impulsively, she begins sweeping her hands at his snow covered back as the cold air bits her cheeks. He kisses her again at the corner of her mouth. “Better hurry,” he adds, hand slapping against her ass.
Her mouth drops open. She wasn’t expecting that at all. He smirks in return.
He’s so full of surprises today.
Of course it would be like this. Of course she would be wedged between the father of her child and the mother of her brother’s children, left to wonder what the hell is really happening as Rebecca’s elbow digs into her ribcage. Donna has half a mind to tell Harvey to switch her spots, if it weren’t for one very important detail.
Rebecca is very much capable and willing to touch Harvey in places that would make Donna rip her sister-in-law’s hair right out of her head. Donna doesn’t want to be that jealous kind of woman, but she doesn’t play nicely when things belong to her. Maybe that’s why her and Harvey have always gotten along so well - he doesn’t play nicely either and he does not like to share. She can even see the annoyance flare in his nostrils when she calls him her boss rather than her boyfriend (fiancé) on occasion. She thinks that for him, crossing that line was inevitable and he doesn’t ever want to go back.
Rebecca’s lewd comments burn the air. Like the space in the room is tainted, doused in gasoline, everybody is feeling the tension now. And Donna can tell that shit has only just begun to hit the fan. She can only use her newborn baby as an excuse to escape the tension so many times, especially since Harvey is tossing the same excuse into the air; she really does love being in the loop though.
Donna feels the intense gaze of her partner on her skin, Harvey’s fingertips so close to her knee. He’s watching her hands as though his life depends on it, like he’s looking for any kind of crack in her steely façade. The front that she’s putting on in front of her dysfunctional family is not one that Harvey is familiar with. She’s keeping her mouth shut at times that he can see her ache to say whatever is on her mind, but she isn’t speaking she’s biting her tongue.
For a moment, he is in awe of her.
She, however, is tired of her sister-in-law tossing her fiancé flirtatious phrases. She’s tired of overhearing comments like Oh, Harvey, you’re so handsome. She can’t decide if Rebecca is just trying to challenge her or trying to be a thorn in Brandon’s side. Donna really thinks the only reason she has wedged herself between Rebecca and Harvey is because she doesn’t trust Rebecca to keep her hands off of Harvey. If that were to happen, Donna would have to cut her throat.
“Oh shit,” Harvey mutters when he glances at his phone. Donna quirks an eyebrow from across the bedroom after having just gotten James to fall back to sleep. She’s pretty sure feeding the baby is not a two person ordeal, but Harvey just really isn’t interested in being stuck with her family. “I forgot to tell you that I invited Marcus.”
Donna smirks and lays back on the bed, her hair fanning out behind her. She shifts a gaze towards him as he slips his phone back into his pocket. “I know you did.”
“How do you know that?” He asks, eyebrows furrowing.
She laughs. “He told me when I called to invite him. I thought that he shouldn’t miss spending Christmas with his only nephew.”
“You see,” he starts, grin spreading across his mouth, “this is why I love you.”
“Because I’m wildly attractive?” She teases.
He leans onto his knees, hovering his face over hers as he peers at her. “Among other things.”
A silence takes over them and he leans forward to press his lips against hers, soft and gentle like a silent appreciation. She understand everything that he conveys in his movements. Her hands fist in his hair like she’s trying to keep him from going too far. She wonders if this is what life is going to be like, stolen moments like they are forbidden. Are they even allowed to be together? Is she going to lose her job? She really shouldn’t be pondering this over the holidays - especially while still on maternity leave.
“I really miss work,” she admits.
His nose slides against hers, his eyelashes tickling her face. “Soon.”
His breath is warm on her face. She can feel his soft lips on hers and he’s only hovering above her. “I really miss sex, too.”
“Me too,” he agrees, “but it’ll happen soon enough.”
“Everything in our life right now is just not yet,” she complains.
“Well, that kind of comes with having a baby. We have to lose who we are for a little bit and focus on our kid before we find our way back to ourselves.”
She sighs. “You’re a great dad, Harvey.”
“I wouldn’t be able to do it without you,” he insists. She knows that he’s about to go into his subtle way of telling her that he needs her and he couldn’t do it without her. Some days he’s direct, but others he is very cryptic. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just guessing most of the time. I don’t know how to be a dad. I’m just looking at my kid and I see you on his face. It makes me love you even more. He looks just like you and it’s more than I ever thought I would actually get.”
She shakes her head in protest. “He looks like you. He has your eyes and nose. All he got from me was his attitude.”
“Something tells me he’s going to be a handful,” Harvey absently agrees with a laugh.
“If his daddy wasn’t a sassy little girl ninety percent of the time then we wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Hey!” Harvey calls, “that’s just not true.”
She erupts into laughter before his hands can even touch her. There’s an echo that vibrates in her chest as he pushes his fingers into her skin just below her ribcage and starts tickling her just a little. She didn’t used to be ticklish. Having a baby really messed with her body.
“Harvey,” she screams between laughs, “stop. You’re going to wake up the baby.”
“No, you’re going to wake up the baby,” he corrects with a grin. Damn lawyers always focusing on the word choice of other people.
He silences her laughter by kissing her again, his palms immediately flattening against her stomach. It bothers her how he’s always touching her in places that haven’t returned to the way it was before she was ever pregnant. She doesn’t know why it bothers her so much. She’s heard of men being so afraid to touch a woman after they’ve given birth that it permanently damages a relationship. She’s probably overthinking it. She’s always overthinking things in regard to her relationship with him.
His tongue sweeps over her slightly parted lips and his fingers slide under the hem of her shirt. Her hands find his wrists and she tugs his hands upwards. She slides her fingers between his, threading them together to keep them occupied. She doesn’t know how to get over this feeling. She’s been trying to keep these fears hidden from him, but he knows her so well that it’s only a matter of time.
He says nothing about it when he pulls back and presses his mouth against her jaw.
“What’s the matter?” He asks against her mouth.
She should have seen it coming. She’s been worrying about it every time that he touches her. This conversation was inevitable. “Nothing.”
“Donna,” he replies, looking at her pointedly. He isn’t buying it.
“It’s just,” she starts.
She sighs because she really doesn’t want to have this conversation. He’s going to find her ridiculous because she’s afraid. She’d be afraid if he didn’t try to touch her, and she’s afraid because he is - because she can’t give him what he wants right now and she wonders if that will make him look somewhere else. What is she thinking? This is Harvey Specter, the man with morals that surprise everyone.
She shakes her head and squeezes his hands in hers. “I don’t look like I did before I got pregnant.”
“That’s okay,” he replies softly, “it’s only been three weeks and there’s plenty of time for you to get that back. We will have to work hard at it if that’s what you want. But I think you’re beautiful, you look amazing and I don’t want to stop touching you. It’s like I’ll forget this is real if I do.”
“Honey, you do realize that Rebecca is five minutes away from ripping your pants off and I will then be forced to cut her throat, right?” Donna counters.
"Lucky for you, you have a great lawyer."
"You don't do pro-bono," she reminds him
He laughs. "Who says you wouldn't owe me?"
"You do remember that we are actually talking about someone touching you, right? And how I would have to kill them if they did?"
He swallows thickly. “I’ve only been looking at you, Babe. I know that’s hard to believe but I think you need to trust me when I tell you that no one else will ever have me like you.”
“Your feelings for me have never kept you from looking at other women,” she half scoffs.
He smirks and brushes his thumb over her knuckle. “That was different.”
“How?”
“I couldn’t touch you whenever I wanted,” he explains. He kisses her lightly. “Now I can.”
Kids keep screaming. It’s driving Harvey crazy. It doesn’t help that Donna left about 20 minutes ago to meet up with Marcus so he could find his way back. He doesn’t have a clue what could be taking them so long unless his brother is really THAT directionally challenged. Marcus was so bright, he had a bright future, Harvey thinks as though his brother is lost.
He’s a bit excited to see his little brother. He hasn’t seen him in so long. Marcus couldn’t make it to the hospital when James was born because he was in Africa on some volunteer work. He sometimes wonders how his little brother ended up the way that he is, but then Harvey remembers the kind of man that Gordon was. Harvey thinks that he ended up being the only one damaged by his mother.
Marcus has lived his life differently than Harvey ever would. That time that Marcus was in the hospital years ago was because he was sent back home from Africa with Malaria. He had gone with the Doctors Without Borders program when he was just an intern against Harvey’s advisement. Harvey couldn’t even get ahold of him when their dad died. Harvey’s just lucky he was able to send Marcus an email months ago to let him know that he was going to be a dad. Upon receiving that email, Marcus responded that he would stay home when he came back.
So, of course Donna knows the town better than him and insisted that she go to meet up with Marcus - of course she did. She practically abandoned him with her family to go because one of them had to stay with James like her parents aren’t capable of watching a baby. It isn’t that he misses her company, it’s that he’s worried because it does not take 20 minutes to get to where they were meeting and back. He isn’t worried.
Okay, he’s a little worried. He’s been pacing since she left. The snow has been coming down a bit, at least he thought it was. His mind could just be playing tricks on him. He’s moments from looking for his phone and calling her when the door pops open. Donna is laughing, her arm looped through Marcus’, and it prompts Harvey to paint a scowl across his face.
He jumps towards the door from his place at the bottom of the stairs. His arms are crossed in front of his chest angrily. “What took you so long?” He practically accuses.
“Marcus was telling me all about his latest trip,” Donna explains, “and the bus ran a little late.”
“Where’s my nephew?” Marcus grins. Donna thinks he looks just like Harvey.
Harvey’s gaze narrows on his brother. “He’s asleep. That’s what newborns do.”
Donna quirks an eyebrow. “Were you pacing by the door?”
“I was not,” Harvey sighs, “I was not pacing by the door. I was just…”
Donna shakes her head and shields her smirk. Harvey helps Donna out of her coat as Marcus shrugs himself out of his, subsequently looking for a place to hang their outdoor clothing by the front door. Just as Harvey takes his brother’s jacket a 5 year old kid runs by with Amy in tow. Harvey catches the way Marcus looks at Donna’s little sister and he shakes his head warningly.
“Amy,” Donna addresses with a grin, “this is Harvey’s brother, Marcus. Marcus, this is my little sister Amy.”
“I’d shake your hand but I’m chasing my kid,” Amy says with an apologetic smile, “he’s not really interested in taking a bath right now and he needs to get to bed so Santa can come.”
She says the last part louder so it can reach Zachary’s ears. Marcus smiles in an amused way, in a way that Harvey can remember smiling when he first met a Paulsen woman. He supposes that Marcus has always looked at Donna like that. There shouldn’t be anything to worry about then.
“I’m really just eager to meet my nephew,” Marcus replies honestly.
Harvey feels like his eyes are deceiving him, the way that Marcus is watching Amy while reaching for Donna. Inviting him to a household full of Paulsen women was clearly a horrible idea. Harvey almost smacks his little brother on the arm but decides against it. He rocks on his heels in anticipation for the conversation to end. They’re both staring at each other while saying they want to be doing something else. This is beyond logic to Harvey despite the fact that he experienced the very same thing for over 10 years.
“I caught the monster,” Shawn, Amy’s boyfriend, says as he carries Zachary in over his shoulder.
“Right,” Amy says, ripping her gaze away from the staring contest. Donna rolls her eyes as she reaches for Harvey’s hand and steps closer to him. Harvey shakes his head as she hugs his arm, watching the slight pout form on Marcus’ face. He has always been a little bit in love with Donna, not that Harvey blames him. “I better go.”
Shawn tosses daggers at Marcus over his shoulder as he follows Amy out of the room with Zachary in his grasp.
“God, what are you doing?” Harvey accuses barely above a whisper, the back of his hand hitting Marcus’ upper arm. “You just can’t help yourself, huh?”
“It isn’t like I have a lot of options in Africa,” Marcus replies with a shrug.
Donna interjects before the brothers can start arguing. “The kid is asleep, but I’ll be happy to take you to him.”
Marcus is nearly jumping up and down in excitement. Meanwhile, Harvey has to remind himself to take a deep breath and settle his nerves. He’s overreacting and he doesn’t even know why. His palms feel sweaty, even with Donna’s pressed against his. Great, a visible reaction. Donna doesn’t miss a thing.
“Don’t you want to meet the rest of Donna’s family?” Harvey suggests.
She squeezes Harvey’s hand, her nails digging into the back of his palm. “He can meet them later, Harvey. He’s here to see your son.”
“He’s a baby. He doesn’t really do anything but cry and sleep,” he counters.
Donna sighs warningly. “Then how come you can only leave his side for an hour, if that?”
“It’s not like that,” Harvey insists. Donna’s hand leaves his and he knows that he’s done something wrong. He outwardly groans and Marcus looks at him like he’s become a whiny child. Donna motions to Marcus to follow her up the stairs. “Don’t wake him up,” Harvey warns.
Donna shakes her hand and smiles mischievously, “he’s my baby. I’ll wake him if I want to.”
Harvey practically stomps after them up the stairs. Marcus’ duffle bag is tossed over his shoulder and bangs against the wooden rail as he follows Donna. Donna is such a defiant woman. Harvey doesn’t even know how he can keep up with her most days. She always keeps him on his toes, that’s for sure.
Donna lets Marcus go into the bedroom first but before the two of them can follow, she closes the bedroom door and corners Harvey. “What’s your problem?”
“I was worried,” he admits.
She laughs and he immediately sulks in return. “Sweetheart, you need to take it down a notch. You haven’t seen your brother in what? Three? Four years? Give him a hug. Tell him you’re glad to see him. Be excited for him to meet his nephew.”
He huffs. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that to me,” she counters. She runs her hands over his arms and gives them a slight squeeze. He doesn’t know what her ultimate goal is. Maybe she’s being reassuring. Maybe it’s something else. He tilts his head slightly. “I’m sure your brother will pretend none of that happened if you go in there without the sulking. No apology needed.”
Harvey swallows. “Fine, but he’s going to fuck your sister if she gives him the time of day.”
She rolls her eyes, “thank you for the subtlety, Hot Shot.”
“Oh come on, you know he’s always had a thing for you. He’s going to transfer all of those feelings onto someone else and your sister seemed fairly open to the idea,” Harvey points out.
“Who says we never-“
“Don’t you even finish that sentence,” Harvey interrupts, “that isn’t even funny to joke about.”
She pushes up onto her toes and presses a kiss to his jaw. “Be an excited Daddy.”
“I am an excited Daddy,” he corrects, “but that doesn’t mean I need an image of you and my brother having sex in my head. Do you remember that last time I saw a guy touching you?”
“Oh yeah, we don’t want a repeat of that,” Donna decides. “But this is your brother, Harvey. He’s here for you and for James. He isn’t here for me.”
“He’s maybe here for you a little bit,” Harvey disagrees.
“Stop being ridiculous,” she says with a roll of the eyes.
He kisses her again. “I can’t help it, Babe. Being with you makes me absolutely crazy.”
“So does being without me.”
“Exactly.”
Donna’s practically falling asleep on Harvey, her legs draped over his thigh and hugging his arm. He doesn’t entirely seem comfortable that she decided to use him to get comfortable, but he supposes that it’s the only way the three of them can fit on the loveseat. He supposes that could really be much worse than having her so close to him, his arm wrapped around her back to brace her.
Her breathing evens out and Harvey thinks that she probably fell asleep. He tilts his head to look at her only to discover that she did fall asleep. It figures, he thinks, she would fall asleep in the middle of a very loud room.
Harvey pokes Marcus’ arm. “I need to get her to go to bed.”
“It’s only nine o’clock,” Marcus points out.
“James woke her up early,” Harvey explains. He doesn’t even know that to be true. He’s just assuming because James never woke him up throughout the night. He’s beginning to wonder if she even slept at all. He can’t deal with her level of energy. “Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Marcus insists.
Harvey absently pats his little brother’s shoulder before returning his hand to Donna’s arm. His fingers drag down her spine as he uses his other hand to brush a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She huffs but her eyes don’t open.
“You should go to bed,” Harvey mutters in her ear. “You’ve had a long day.”
“Are you coming?” She asks against his throat.
“I, uh,” he starts but he doesn’t know how to finish.
Her fingers curl into his ribs as she grasps at his shirt. “Then I’m fine.”
He sighs. “You’re tired. It’s okay if you want to go to bed.”
“We haven’t even done the Christmas movie or the presents,” she replies.
“The movie started twenty minutes ago. You’ve been asleep for thirty.” He laughs a little, pressing his chin against her forehead. She peels her eyes open and peers at him. “I’ll come to bed soon.”
“Oh yeah,” she says like she suddenly remembers something, “you should spend time with your brother while he’s here.”
“We have tomorrow to talk,” Harvey replies, “I just want to be sure he has a place to sleep before we bail on him.”
“Mom said she was going to put him where she was going to put you before, you know, the surprise,” she clarifies. He’s surprised that she’s so suddenly awake. The fingers of her other hand curls around his forearm. His fingers absently tap on her thigh in response. “So you’ll come to bed then?”
“Can’t go without me?” He teases.
She sighs and shakes her head. “It’s just not comfortable without you. Then you come to bed and move around a lot. And so I have to-”
He smiles sarcastically, “got it, Babe.”