(no subject)
my birthday was really nice. my mom set up balloons and a banner in our living room and gave me the nicest card and a tokidoki bag. we went to eat at ron of japan which was nice because ive been craving it for the longest timee. but i dunno, i dont really care for birthdays. its just like any other day cept youre greeted constantly like its a reminder. anyway this weekend, plans are really vague right now but i hope it turns out well. i got a fortune cookie that said you'll accomplish more later if you have fun this weekend sooo maybe thats a sign. as in party and then do better in school? im ineligible as of now and its really putting a damper on me. school really shouldnt be this hard for me, just do homework study and shit its just i never wanna do my part. i feel bad that my parents have gone through so much just for an education and im just fucking up like always. im thankful i really am, but what we learn at school is just bullshit to me. i hate the fact that having an education builds a name for you and that having one just gives you this facade. like who the fuck cares if my gpa's a 9.0. its just on a useless piece of paper telling some douchebag professor to accept you to their pretentious university. whatever im tired of thinking about this shit too much, fuck anxiety.