(no subject)
loving you is like a battle
and we both end up with scars.
Once I get out of work I get 3 phone calls back to back. I call him back to see whats going on. He tells me he had a convo with his father whom no longer wants us to be together because " if I put him out once, I'll do it again". I find it funny that his father said that because you know what? Jason kicked me out of his place more times than I can count. We fought, and he would kick me out. What about the nights I slept in my car? What about the night were I had to drive 1 hour home from broward and ended up on the side of the fucking turnpike throwing up? What about when I had to go stay at LeeLee's house, & Martha's house, & Ej's house? How about the night he left me in NYC? But noooo no one see's that.
I'm the bad guy. I seem to be the bad guy because I'm fed up? This doesn't quiet sound right. I mean I stood by the mans side long enough. I dealt with enough of his shit. Supported him through enough of his hard times. And well, I'm the bad guy. Is it because he finally realized that I was a good woman? Bcus he finally realized that it would be " cheaper to keep her? " or because that my love was actually true? I'm the bad guy bcus he changed the past 3 months? Oh please... its a little late for that now.
Who the fuck knows? Cus I sure as hell know I don't. I'm tired of the battles, the fighting and the nonsense cus that's what it was... pure nonsense. I felt stuck, I felt like I was in a rut. I was unhappy. I need to find the happiness within myself, on my own time before I can be happy with a man again.
He wants a time line, a estimate of when I'll be done having " my time". There's no estimate. We're broken up. If the stars align and we ever meet again, then I know all this was really worth it & you really are my soul mate. But if not, I'm sorry but it ends here. It was fun while it lasted, and I hope you know you're friendship means the most to me.
I need to be me. I need to be me & on my own time.
Its 199% true when they say that when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can do about it. & that's how i feel.
My intentions were never to hurt him, but you know what... he knew I was hurting basically that entire first year with all the bullshit he put me through & it wasn't enough for him to stop the crap. So why should I stop living my life the way I want to right now? I shouldn't. I won't. Maybe I'm being selfish, who knows maybe I'm even fucking wrong. But for now I'm okay with sleeping in my bed alone.
Sooner or later either he'll realize your worth it
or you'll realize he isn't.
and we both end up with scars.
Once I get out of work I get 3 phone calls back to back. I call him back to see whats going on. He tells me he had a convo with his father whom no longer wants us to be together because " if I put him out once, I'll do it again". I find it funny that his father said that because you know what? Jason kicked me out of his place more times than I can count. We fought, and he would kick me out. What about the nights I slept in my car? What about the night were I had to drive 1 hour home from broward and ended up on the side of the fucking turnpike throwing up? What about when I had to go stay at LeeLee's house, & Martha's house, & Ej's house? How about the night he left me in NYC? But noooo no one see's that.
I'm the bad guy. I seem to be the bad guy because I'm fed up? This doesn't quiet sound right. I mean I stood by the mans side long enough. I dealt with enough of his shit. Supported him through enough of his hard times. And well, I'm the bad guy. Is it because he finally realized that I was a good woman? Bcus he finally realized that it would be " cheaper to keep her? " or because that my love was actually true? I'm the bad guy bcus he changed the past 3 months? Oh please... its a little late for that now.
Who the fuck knows? Cus I sure as hell know I don't. I'm tired of the battles, the fighting and the nonsense cus that's what it was... pure nonsense. I felt stuck, I felt like I was in a rut. I was unhappy. I need to find the happiness within myself, on my own time before I can be happy with a man again.
He wants a time line, a estimate of when I'll be done having " my time". There's no estimate. We're broken up. If the stars align and we ever meet again, then I know all this was really worth it & you really are my soul mate. But if not, I'm sorry but it ends here. It was fun while it lasted, and I hope you know you're friendship means the most to me.
I need to be me. I need to be me & on my own time.
Its 199% true when they say that when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can do about it. & that's how i feel.
My intentions were never to hurt him, but you know what... he knew I was hurting basically that entire first year with all the bullshit he put me through & it wasn't enough for him to stop the crap. So why should I stop living my life the way I want to right now? I shouldn't. I won't. Maybe I'm being selfish, who knows maybe I'm even fucking wrong. But for now I'm okay with sleeping in my bed alone.
Sooner or later either he'll realize your worth it
or you'll realize he isn't.