Jan 16, 2005 21:35
Well what else can i say...im fed up with all my bullshit. But i wont do anything about it, because im too damn stubborn. I think i can control everything, but i cant. I dont eat that much, because its actually making me sick now. I hardly ever sleep, because i'm trying to get all my school work done. And all this running for basketball is killing me, i have no energy at all. I feel like im gonna be sick at every practice. I mean is all of this really worth it ? I dont think it is. I'm taking pills to keep me awake, then some more to make me sleep...and more to just keep me sane. I have to admit, it did work for a while, but now...not so much. I dont think i will even finish the season at this point...its just all too much. I dont want to play next year, but thats far away from now. I will probably change my mind a 100 times before then. The sad thing is, i wont allow anyone to help me. It's like i just wont accept it. I guess im gonna have to figure out everything on my own, maybe thats the best way.